If you are confronted with the prospect of yet another single holiday, birthday, party, event, or new year, you might want to ramp up your guy-finding game.
Not everyone wants a boyfriend, of course, but if you do, there are plenty of ways to get a boyfriend and snag yourself a gem.
Don’t worry about how long it takes, or where or how you find them. You don’t need a fairytale meeting and nobody is going to care about the story of how you met, so cut yourself some slack.
Rather than sit around and wait for Prince Charming to break down the door and rescue you from your sullen lifestyle, get out there and create a life any guy would want to be a part of!
Here’s how you can get a boyfriend and have an awesome life in the process.
How to get a boyfriend: 16 tips
1) Don’t Rush
Recognize that finding the right guy is not going to happen overnight. It could, technically, but you don’t want to rush into anything just for the hell of it.
It’s important that you recognize that this may take a while and that you might have to date a lot of guys before you find the one that is right for you.
Just settle into the process and have fun with it! Whatever you do, don’t let your dating life become a revolving door just to get the job done.
You are worth waiting for and the right guy is too.
2) Learn What Men Want
Do you really want to get a boyfriend?
Then you have to understand what men want from a relationship with you.
The simple truth is that men and women are different and we want different things from a relationship.
And a new theory in relationship psychology is revealing exactly what drives men when it comes to love.
It’s called the hero instinct.
According to this theory, a man wants to see himself as a hero. As someone his girlfriend genuinely wants and needs to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.
And the kicker?
It’s actually up to the woman to bring this instinct to the fore.
I know it sounds a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to feel like a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
The simple truth is that if you want a boyfriend then you have to understand what they really want.
How do you trigger his hero instinct?
The best way to learn to do this is to watch this free online video. James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first coined this term, gives a terrific introduction to his concept.
Some ideas really are life-changing. And when it comes to getting a boyfriend, I think this is one of them.
3) Keep Busy
One of the easiest ways to find yourself a good guy is to get out there and do everything except look for a guy.
When you are so busy creating the life you want that you don’t have time to find a guy, the right guy will come along.
That’s just how the universe works.
It’s hilarious and also not funny at all. When women are doing their own thing, men tend to sit up and pay attention.
So, if there’s an eye of a guy you are trying to catch, get out there and do everything but pay attention to him and you’ll be well on your way to snagging Mr. Right.
4) Don’t Worry
One of the things that is sure to slow your roll is if you worry about how long it will take to find the guy you want to be with.
Rather than focus on the time of it all, focus on what is going on right now and have fun with it.
Don’t worry about your hair, your shoes, your work, your money, your home, your dress.
Don’t worry about anything, especially finding a guy. There are seven billion people on the planet: you are sure to find someone who is right for you.
5) Show Your Confidence
When you find yourself in the company of men, or anyone for that matter, don’t slink away and try to blend into the crowd.
Always stand tall and be proud of who you are and what you bring to the table. Don’t worry about what other people think.
Show up for yourself first and you’ll be surprised by how others react to your confidence. That’s how to be charming. If you don’t have a lot of confidence to begin with, focus on the things you like about yourself.
If you have great legs, show off your legs. If you love your hair, take the time to do your hair.
If you are super smart, get into conversations with people and show them what you’ve got. If you love music, surround yourself with playlists that make you smile.
6) Play the Long Game
Because finding the right guy can take time, you need to be committed to the time it might take to find the right person.
This might also mean trying someone on for a while, maybe even longer than you thought.
We’ve all seen the Hallmark movies where boy meets girl, boy and girl hate each other, and then fall madly in love.
When you hang around someone long enough you might be surprised to find that you actually like them.
So stick it out and see how things go.
7) Give People a Chance
Similar to the above suggestion, don’t discount people just because they don’t seem like your type. What is your type anyway? Who really knows?
Everyone is so different that even if you had a type, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who fit the bill just right.
You need to open your eyes to see what’s out there and who is around you.
If you wear blinders, you are going to miss many opportunities to meet awesome people who might turn out to be great boyfriends.
8) Try Your Hand at Flirting
Guys don’t always know if girls like them so if you want a guy to know you are into him, make sure you get out there and do some flirting.
Be intentional about it though. Don’t just flirt with everyone.
If you see a guy and you like him, be brave and talk to him. Don’t wait for him to walk up to you.
You are on a mission, remember?
Take control and be in charge of how this thing turns out. You won’t be sorry for talking to people, even if they turn out to be jerks because how would you have known otherwise?
If you’re looking to flirt like a pro (without being too serious about it), check out our article explaining how best to flirt.
9) Consider What a Boyfriend Adds to Your Life
Before you get out there and find yourself a boyfriend, be sure that it is what you want.
A lot of women think they want to be with someone because of what television and the movies have taught us about relationships but the truth is that once you are attached to someone, you can’t just come and go as you please.
Even the most independent women who have a boyfriend knows this. The belief and the reality of the situation are two very different things.
Be careful what you wish for is not just a cliche saying that people throw around for their health: it’s a real thing.
Once You Have Your Boyfriend: Here Are 8 Ways to Hang On
When it comes to love, most people only think about how to find.
Few single people are daydreaming about how they are going to keep a man once they find the one that is right for them.
The problem with relationships is that we love the beginning of love, and we rarely give enough attention to what comes after the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
Whenever a new relationship starts, you don’t want to ruin the fun parts by thinking about what happens when the new wears off, but maybe you don’t have to.
When you set out on a new relationship journey with the intention of being intentional, then you might not have to cross that bridge if you ever come to it.
Meaning, you can keep the momentum going long after most people pack up their bags and head home.
We’ve put together a list of seven things you can do to hang on to your man, despite how long you have been together at this point.
It’s never too early or too late to start reinvesting in your relationship.
10) It’s Not a Competition
One of the quickest ways to lose a guy’s interest is to treat everything like a competition.
While he might initially find that attractive about you, he is going to get really tired of losing to a girl or being presented with information that makes him feel inferior to you.
Whether or not you are superior to him is beside the point: the point is to make him feel like you are, at the very least, equals.
Don’t rub it in his face when you win and he doesn’t. Don’t throw money around in front of him if doesn’t make as much as you.
Don’t do things to make yourself seem more important than you really are. Guys hate that. They just want to be with you and know that you are in it together.
(One of the most popular dating books on the market is His Secret Obsession by James Bauer. Check out this new His Secret Obsession review for everything you need to know about the book).
11) Don’t Throw Your Dirty Laundry Around
Rather than spill all your dirty little secrets all over the floor as soon as he walks in the door, keep some of the nonsense from your previous relationships locked up tight.
Not only does he not care about your past relationships, he doesn’t want to be reminded that you’ve been with other men in any capacity. It’s an ego thing.
He wants to think that he’s the only guy for you and that he is all you’ll ever need.
If you want to keep your man, you’ll want to avoid making him feel inadequate in the face of your other boyfriends.
Unless you need to talk about people from your past because of children, there’s no need to bring anyone else up.
12) Sit Up and Pay Attention
When it comes to keeping a man once you’ve got one, you want to make sure you don’t want to go on like a crying baby at every turn.
Even if you are pretty emotional on a good day, you want to get that under wraps and find a way to keep your cool in the face of distress.
While every guy wants to feel needed, he does not want to feel like you are only using him as a shoulder to cry on.
Pay attention to his needs too, even if he acts like he doesn’t need attention, he wants and likes it.
13) Don’t Forget Your Friends
Just because you have a boyfriend in your life now doesn’t mean you get to forget your friends.
Not only do girlfriends hate when other girls do this, but your boyfriend doesn’t need to see you every waking hour of every day.
Keeping another part of your life active means that you have things to talk about and share with him.
It means your life is about more than just your relationship, and if we’re being honest, it’s about showing him that you have things going in your life that you like and intend to keep.
14) Do Girly Things
While it might be fun to be a guy’s gal, doing fun guy things, it’s always nice to show up wearing a dress and lipstick once in a while.
If you want to keep your guy interested, doing girly things. You might look super hot in a hat and jeans, but he doesn’t want to date his buddy, he wants to date his girlfriend.
Put in some effort once in a while and forget the idea that he should just accept you for who you are – it’s nice to dress up for the one you love once in a while.
It’s not a sexist thing and there are no expectations, but it’s a good idea if you want to keep him coming back for more.
15) Compliment Other Women
Want to get the attention of your guy fast? Give another girl a compliment about her looks.
Guys think girls are super insecure so if you can show him that not only are you not insecure, but you are confident enough to give a compliment to another girl, he’ll think that’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.
16) Don’t Throw Your Whole Life Away For Him
Just because you have a man in your life now doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you love.
He wouldn’t want you to do that and you shouldn’t be willing to do that either.
Even if he demands all of your time, he doesn’t mean to – it’s great that he wants to be with you, but he does want time on his own every now and then.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.