Pearl Nash
So you’re wondering how you can carry yourself with poise and dignity?
The good news is that these are things you can learn to master.
It’s not a case of either being born with these traits or not… These are things that you consciously develop.
There are so many things you can do, each and every day, that will make you someone that carries yourself with poise and dignity.
Here are 10 to take note of!
1) Make sure you have good manners
Having poise and dignity starts with manners.
Now, you’ve never going to see a graceful and dignified person eat with their mouths open or talk with food in their mouths.
These people are respected for how they uphold themselves, so they’re not going to let themselves down by having awful manners.
Let’s take Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales, as an example.
Think about it: could you imagine seeing her sitting in a beautiful, elegant dress and chewing with her mouth open?
It’s highly unlikely…
Instead, a poised and dignified person is likely to be setting the example that everyone else follows.
2) Stand up straight
This one might sound super simple, but it’s really the little things that differentiate poised and dignified people from others.
Not slouching and standing up straight is one of these things.
Chances are, a person who has a lot of poise and dignity will walk around with their backs straight and shoulders back.
If you do this, it will mean you naturally radiate confidence too.
You see, when we make ourselves small we unconsciously tell ourselves that we should keep ourselves small and that we don’t deserve to be seen…
…This is not what you want!
3) Don’t rush around
People with poise and dignity don’t rush around.
They’re always appear to be calm and collected on the surface – even if they’re not totally calm in their minds!
You won’t see people with poise and dignity pushing others out of the way on a busy street, shouting “sorry, move!” as they try to catch a bus.
In fact, people with poise will be quietly tutting at those who do barge others out of the way…
… But they would also never make their anger or frustration known, so they don’t seem unpoised!
Not rushing extends to all areas of their lives, from the speed at which they eat to walking too quickly.
In other words, people who have poise and dignity are controlled and they make life look easy.
4) Laugh softly
It matters how you laugh if you want to cultivate poise and dignity.
Yes, your laugh can ruin your efforts in an instant.
There is such a thing as having an undignified and unpoised laugh.
For instance, I was recently in a quiet bar and heard someone with a laugh that caused everyone in the room to turn and stare at them out of shock.
They started slapping their legs and screaming…
…Now, I’m sure what they were laughing at was incredibly funny, sure, but it didn’t warrant that sort of a response in a public place.
It was disturbing to everyone else’s evening.
I certainly did not associate this person’s laugh with being dignified… And I’m sure you agree.
But what is dignified is a soft laugh: one that shows you’re engaged and one that is elegant.
5) Fidget less
This one might seem a little odd, but hear me out…
…Fidgeting has a deeper meaning.
It signals that someone isn’t relaxed, which causes other people to be on edge.
And by fidgeting, I don’t just mean touching your hair every two minutes.
It could be anything from going on your phone to not being able to focus on the person in front of you. Even worse, they could be combined!
This once happened to me:
I went for coffee with a girl who wanted to try and patch up an issue with me, but guess what she did for the entire duration of our time there?
She would not stop reaching into her bag to take her gaze off of mine.
Every time I’d try and get to the crux of the thing we were working through, she’d look at her phone as if I wasn’t there.
It just showed how little poise she really had.
6) Engage eye contact
I often think about that coffee I had with that girl who wouldn’t look at me.
When I think of it, I just wonder why she thought it was acceptable to avert her eyes and stare at her phone.
It was so rude!
And so far from what it means to have poise and dignity; it really showed her true colors.
You see, eye contact plays such a significant role in communication.
It shows that you’re engaged and listening, and it shows that you’re respectful. By not making eye contact, it can be viewed as a conscious act to show you don’t care.
In other words, by locking eyes with someone you’re telling them that you’re present in the conversation with them, and that you do care.
By ensuring that you do this with every conversation, you’ll find that people want to talk to you more and more – because they feel heard!
7) Be respectful
Now, this one is more of an obvious one, don’t you think?
Someone who has bags of poise and dignity also has a good dose of respect.
This includes being respectful about others, the environment and material things.
You won’t see someone with poise and dignity spitting out their chewgum on the ground or dumping waste where they’re not supposed to.
You also won’t see them taking things that aren’t theirs – such as borrowing someone’s clothes without asking just because they want to.
Simply put: people like that couldn’t be further away from those with poise and dignity.
On the other hand, people with poise and dignity are likely to ensure that people around them are comfortable with the things they do – such as borrowing something.
What’s more, they’re the sort of people who are more inclined to be hot on things like recycling…
…You’ll find them caring for the environment through the small things they do.
8) Dress well
What dressing well means is going to be unique to each person.
But we can generally agree that dressing well means wearing clothes that are clean and sharp, and make us feel out best.
In today’s world, most of us in the West have a lot of freedom when it comes to expressing ourselves through clothes…
…There are endless styles and choices – but some look better than others, let’s be honest!
I’m sure you can agree that when you dress well, you feel like a different person? One with poise and dignity?
You see, our clothes say a lot about us.
They can communicate how we feel about ourselves, including how confident we feel and how creative we are.
By choosing to wear clothes that are flattering, and eye-catching but not bold, you’ll be communicating that you’re someone with bags of poise and dignity.
Again, take the Princess of Wales as an example. She’s a fashion icon!
9) Be composed
There are many events in life that might make you feel a little stressed out, emotional and overwhelmed.
This is normal… You’re a human!
You should never feel bad for your humanness.
But if you want to carry yourself with poise and dignity, it’s best that you pick your moments.
For example, screaming and crying on a bench on a busy street because of your work isn’t going to translate to poise.
It’s going to raise a few eyebrows and concern passersby…
…And you don’t want this if you’re seeking to carry yourself with dignified traits.
Instead, if you need to express upset or anger, just choose to not do it on a busy street or around others.
10) Have a calm confidence
There’s a huge difference between being confident and arrogant:
Someone with confidence is happy with who they are, and they move through the world with an air about them that others find attractive.
They walk into a party and engage with people, knowing that they have just as much of a right as the next person to be in that room.
Someone who is arrogant repels people because they think they’re God’s gift!
This kind of person might ask why someone is talking to them, or waffle on at length about how successful they are and what fancy car they’re buying next.
You want to aim for the former if you are to be someone who has poise and dignity.
Having a quiet, calm confidence signals that you hold yourself in high regard.
This is a cornerstone to being a dignified person!
