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How to be the woman every man wants to marry (60 effective tips)

Have you ever heard the term “wife material?”

It seems a bit disrespectful, right? But it’s true. Guys see some women as a one-night stand, others as “practice wives” and a rare few as real “wife material”.

What makes the difference?

I’m here to tell you how to be the woman every man wants to marry.

There are 60 tips below that will help you become a woman who every guy wants to devote his life and heart to forever.

And they really work. Without further ado, here we go.

60 tips for how to be the woman every man wants to marry

1) Try to build bridges

The days of women just doing whatever men ask are over, and that’s a good thing. But it is still very attractive when you look to build bridges instead of finding faults.

Doing favors for men and trying your best to be agreeable to guys who treat you well is a wonderful quality that will start setting off a man’s love radar.

2) Look the part

Media stereotypes aside, most men who are worth their salt do not actually want a supermodel who’s obsessed with her appearance.

But they absolutely appreciate it when you’re well put together and looking amazing.

3) Believe in him

Men these days aren’t always the cream of the crop, and I know many women who’ve lost faith after having their hearts stomped. But do your best to give a decent man the benefit of the doubt.

Your trust will inspire him and could win his heart.

4) Don’t be saran wrap

Just like you, men need space on a regular basis.

If you’re clingy and text and call him constantly, then he’s going to see you as more of an annoyance than a serious partner.

5) Show him you care

Many guys don’t like to talk about their problems.

And regardless of whether that’s a little messed up and should change on a societal level, you can still do your part by showing him you care. Even if it’s just a cup of tea and a hug.

6) Mind your money

Your money mindset is very important and that goes for in relationships as well.

Accepting gifts and letting him pay from time to time is great and could even help trigger his hero instinct. But overall you should be financially able and not leaning on him for cash or he could start to feel used.

7) Pay him compliments

Men get a special sparkle in their eyes when you compliment them in a tasteful and genuine way.

Whether you’re saying he looks hot or telling him you appreciate what a good listener he is, it’s going to be something he loves to hear.

8) Know his schedule

Men like to know that they’re not just floundering alone in an indifferent cosmos.

When you keep track of his schedule and remember his breaks, work, and various activities, he feels seen and appreciated.

9) Do things with him

Sure men like their space but they also enjoy doing something with the woman they love.

If that’s playing guitar or cooking together it’s all good: do your thing and win his heart.

10) Find the balance between pressure and freedom

Men enjoy their freedom — to an extent, but they also like a little bit of pressure with the right person.

If you let him know that you’re someone he has to take seriously, he’ll respect that and he won’t waste your time.

Let him know that you need a simple answer: in or out. He’ll respect that.

11) Find out what makes him tick

Contrary to popular wisdom, not every guy is the same.

Some men are more motivated by work, others by family. Some are more creative, others more logical. Find out what makes him tick and then appeal to him using that avenue.

12) Don’t take it personally

When a man criticizes you in some way it can be easy to lash out and tell him to back off.

The better option is to respectfully tell him that you feel a certain way when he criticizes, but also to consider situations where he may just be trying to help you.

13) Plan ahead — but not too far ahead

Men like structure. But if you plan too far ahead, he may feel overly pressured and boxed in, particularly if you start talking about marriage too early or putting conditions on your relationship.

Plan ahead and don’t be afraid to bring up the future, but leave room for spontaneity.

14) Be reliable

Women who flake out on men often and don’t keep their promises are women who guys eventually leave.

If you’re busy and don’t make a few dates, he’ll get it — but try your best to be reliable.

15) Ditch the victim mindset

Life can be a real bitch and sometimes many of us are truly victimized. But the victim mindset is like an addiction, and it also drives away potential partners like a curse.

Try to find inner peace and ditch the victim mindset as much as possible.

16) Own your story

If you’re insecure or looking for validation, a man is going to sense that and it’s going to start killing off his attraction for you.

Own your story and everything about yourself including your body, mind, and desires.

You are good enough.

17) Actions speak louder than words

Telling him you love him or sending him nice texts is great but a guy falls in love with what a woman does.

Make it clear that your commitment is real by really pitching in for him.

Bring him lunch one day or come with him to a doctor’s appointment he’s nervous about.

18) Ask him for help

Asking men for help triggers their hero instinct: if you do it the right way.

Being helpless or desperate will turn him off big time but asking in a sweet and open-ended way lets him prove his manliness in a way that men still deeply crave.

19) Get to know his family

Getting to know a man’s family shows that you’re more than just a fling.

You care about those who are most important to him and you are open to also making them a part of your life as well.

20) Encourage his search for truth

All of us are looking for something and even if it’s subconscious, the man you’re interested in is on his own quest of some kind.

Encourage him in his search for truth and meaning. He’ll come to see you as his lighthouse in the storm.

21) Back him up

When your man has an issue or problem — at work or in his personal life — back him up.

It might seem obvious but it makes a big difference. Men want a wife who can be their closest ally.

22) Be the calm point in the storm

One of the most important things you can do if you want to learn how to be the woman every man wants to marry is to be calm when he’s freaking out.

Modern life has a lot of stress and if your man is melting down, you can be a port of refuge in the storm as he nestles in your kisses and consolation.

23) Be grateful

There are few things a man likes more than a woman who is grateful for his help, his kindness, his gifts, and his time.

Be grateful for this man and show it in subtle but real ways, including directly thanking him and letting him know you think highly of him.

24) Take serious things seriously

Immature men are a big issue, and so are immature women.

If a man sees that you’re still quite irresponsible or casual about important things in life, he’s simply not going to take you seriously as a potential wife.

25) Don’t take disagreements personally

We all disagree sometimes.

If you take it personally when he disagrees with or has another point of view, he’s going to feel rejected and angry. He also will stop opening up to you.

26) Take advantage of his expertise

Men love to be called on for their expertise.

Whether it’s advice about what car to buy or his deep knowledge of business when you’re considering opening a new enterprise, he’s going to love that you asked for his advice.

27) Relax

While it’s important to take serious things seriously like I wrote, it’s also important to be a little bit relaxed, almost to the point of being aloof.

Men fall for a woman who knows her worth and doesn’t seek external approval. They love a woman who’s relaxed and not looking for attention.

28) Respect his boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, and that’s a good thing. Without boundaries, we’d all be in a constant state of chaos.

Respect his boundaries as much as possible whether it’s privacy or his dislike of talking in the morning.

If something really bothers you about his behavior don’t talk behind his back: bring it up directly with him.

29) Don’t be an open book

I’m not saying to be a closed book but don’t let him figure out everything about you after a month.

If you’re aiming for marriage, then you want to remain a bit of an elusive gem that he can never quite feel like he’s fully “got.”

30) Support his strengths

One of the biggest pitfalls that can happen is when a woman unintentionally needles at a man’s insecurities.

If you know he’s a bit sensitive about growing up without a dad or his short height then your solution is simple: just don’t bring it up.

31) Control your temper

This goes just as much for guys: when you let your temper get out of control, you display a really unattractive quality that scares off potential partners.

Even someone with strong chemistry doesn’t want to be around a woman who nags or lashes out at him.

32) Say sorry when necessary

There are times when he will be at fault but when it’s you to blame, it’s very crucial that you find a way to swallow your pride and say sorry.

Don’t wait until it’s too late to say sorry.

33) Be clear on your core values

I used to try to change what I said depending on the guy I was out with.

What will he want me to say, I wondered? Bad move.

Be clear on your core values including your religious and spiritual beliefs and your thoughts on key topics like family, career, and culture.

34) Don’t bail

Men want a woman who’s not afraid to ask for help but they also want a wife who will actually stand by them.

If they get the feeling you’re going to bail if they get sick or have an issue, they simply won’t consider you for marriage.

35) Open your heart

There’s a lot of distrust out there these days, and honestly, I don’t blame anyone. But if you want him to fall for you, then you have to open your heart and let him in.

36) Open your ears

Men get frustrated if they’re with a woman who’s self-obsessed.

He should be giving you his attention too, but make sure you listen to what he says and really care about what’s on his mind.

37) Put him above you sometimes

As unpopular as it might be to say in these feminist days, sometimes putting your man above yourself is the final straw that makes him fall in love.

When he sees that selfless love you show, he can’t help it and he becomes yours.

39) Stand up to him sometimes

Men don’t want a pushover.

Stand up to him when he’s wrong — just do it in a nice way.

Use humor now and then and let him know you’re a little bit feisty. If he’s the right guy for you then he’ll love it.

39) You avoid unnecessary drama

Drama queens end up as cat ladies. Sorry, not sorry.

If you dip deep into drama on a regular basis then no healthy man is going to want to be your husband.

Harsh, but true.

40) Practice forgiveness

If your man treats you poorly or does something nuts then you should definitely hold him to account.

But in general, do your best to practice forgiveness. It’s a very attractive quality.

41) You understand the line between mind games and mystery

Mind games like ghosting him for days at a time or trying to make him jealous of you talking to other guys are super toxic and will ultimately turn him off.

But mystery is sexy.

Try to keep a certain part of yourself a little bit unknown. He’ll seek you out and want to bask in that glow.

42) Invite him into your inner world

At the same time as you should always maintain some mystery, you need to invite him a little bit into your inner world if you want him to wife you up.

A man doesn’t want to marry a woman who he barely knows on a deep level.

Open yourself up to him and let him know what’s in your heart as well as some of your past.

43) You are either fully in or out

Men respect decisiveness and they’re also very attracted to it. If he thinks he can jerk you around he’s likely not going to really commit.

If you’re in a relationship that’s past the initial stages of dating, then make it clear to him that you’re a woman who’s either fully in or out.

Then leave him free to respond as he wishes.

44) Be full of surprises

Men want reliability and trustworthiness in a wife but they also want a lovely creature who might just surprise them when they least expect it.

Have him hop into the car and drive off for a weekend in Palm Springs. He’ll be wowed.

45) Be spontaneous — but not reckless

There’s a fine line between being spontaneous and being reckless.

A man wants a wife who’s full of fun, spontaneity, and mystery, but also knows what to take seriously and when to limit herself.

A general rule of thumb is to never do something your responsible and happily married sister wouldn’t do.

46) You’re vulnerable but not dependent

There’s a big difference between being vulnerable and being dependent.

Men want a woman who will open up and let them in, but not a woman who will hang on them and be unable to do anything herself.

47) Silence is golden

If you can enjoy silence and quiet time with your man then you have a real connection that’s not just about the surface.

Men crave this kind of silent connection and when they find it, they will pursue it all the way down the aisle.

48) Don’t mask your goals

Don’t mask your goals in any way.

If you want marriage then admit it. If you plan to focus on your career for the next five years then be upfront about it.

Getting into a marriage while miscommunicating is a nightmare.

49) Collaborate on life

Even if you and your guy have very different careers and schedules try your best to collaborate.

He wants to build a home and family with a woman who’s his trusted partner, help him see you in that light.

50) Use mistakes to make you stronger

When you make a mistake it can be tempting to give in to self-pity and frustration.

But if you use your past mistakes to make you stronger and more sure about what you want, it makes you an even more attractive mate.

The right man will notice and be very impressed with what you’ve overcome.

51) Keep part of yourself just for him

Men crave a special connection that’s different from the everyday.

Save a part of yourself just for him. It’s not just about physical intimacy. I’m speaking also about a certain level of trust and intimacy that’s only reserved for your guy.

52) Improve, improve

Men love to take care of their girls but they also love to see that you take care of yourself as well.

From yoga classes to reaching new levels of getting into flow, they’re going to see you in a wifely light when they see how you work on yourself.

53) Learn to absorb a few bad jokes

Even the coolest guy on earth will occasionally trip up with a bad joke that just rubs you the wrong way.

Sadly, I think it’s one of the burdens of a wife to occasionally have to laugh off a stupid comment from hubby.

Do your best to bear it with grace…

54) You don’t post thirst traps on social media

No matter how incredible you look, no high-quality man wants to wife you up if you’re posting thirst traps on social media.

To be sure, you should feel no shame about showing your sexy self going about your life online, but if you’re intentionally posting tantalizing boob shots and you half-naked under waterfalls on Instagram, then this guy is most likely going to see you as a sexual conquest, not a wife.

55) Get the sex sizzling

Whether you’ve had sex yet or not, it’s an important part of marriage.

I personally believe that restraint and waiting for sex is often the better choice if you want something serious.

But from holding hands to some steamy massages, you want to show him that the honeymoon alone is going to blow his mind.

56) Balance your responsibilities

Men love your time and affection but he’s going to be that much more in pursuit of you as a potential wife if you divide your time.

Don’t give all your time to him. Make him earn it, and always keep your own life, too.

57) Honesty matters (a lot)

My friends who do best in relationships and have happy marriages all have one thing in common: they tell the truth.

When you build a web of lies you only end up trapping yourself in it: alone and miserable.

58) Be committed — but not stuck

A man wants a wife who is fully committed but who he knows expects a lot of him.

Never write your guy a blank check to treat you how he wants. Hold him to a high standard and make it clear you’re out if he crosses a certain line.

59) Humor him

There’s nothing more attractive than a woman with a sense of humor. Get this guy laughing and you’re already halfway to his heart.

60) You have emotional control

Having strong emotions is a great thing but you need to have emotional control.

If you break down crying in front of him constantly or become annoyed at every little thing, he will quickly get exhausted and find a woman with better emotional control.

If you want him to put a ring on it…

The honest truth is that if you want him to put a ring on it, you need to learn how to be the woman every man wants to marry.

You’re willing to compromise when it’s right, but you never back down on your values.

You open up but you never place your self-worth or life in someone else’s hands.

You’re soft and vulnerable in the right situation but you’re hard as a rock when it counts.

Most of all, finding true love and intimacy is about knowing your own worth truly at a deep and instinctive level.

As Natasha Adamo puts it:

“Everything will turn around when you turn inward, when you stop looking for someone to fix you, rescue you, be your rock, and see in you what you can’t see in yourself.”

New Free eBook: Attraction Triggers

Want to learn how to make a man fall in love with you and commit over the long-haul?

Then check out our free eBook Attraction Triggers.

This eBook has everything you need to know about the predictable patterns that make a man fall in love.

Most importantly, it will teach you practical techniques to activate those triggers in your man so you can build a successful long-lasting relationship.

Check it out here.

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Pearl Nash

Written by Pearl Nash

I've been through a lot in my life (especially with men!) and I have a lot of wisdom and advice to give to help anyone better their relationships. I believe that everyone is capable of giving and receiving love and my mission is to help everyone see that. I hope you enjoy my writing on Hack Spirit.

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