How soon is too soon to move in together? 23 signs you’re ready

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Moving in together with your S.O. is a huge relationship milestone.

But how do you know if it’s the right time? Well, these 23 signs show that you’re indeed ready to take the plunge.

Let’s start ticking the boxes!

1) Your relationship status is clear as day

First and foremost, you both need to be on the same page regarding your relationship status. Obviously, you should be exclusive – and not be in a one-side open relationship.

You may have to reconsider your cohabitating plans if you don’t actually know what you are – and where you are yet.

Believe me, moving in without defining the relationship is a disaster waiting to happen. But, of course, that’s unless you’re open with an S.O.’s fling coming and going in the house.

2) You’re almost living together

If you’re spending most of your week in your partner’s place (or vice-versa) without any issues whatsoever, it’s safe to say that both of you are ready to live together.

See, you guys have already been doing what experts call a practice run. You have a drawer in your S.O.’s house, and they, yours.

You’re essentially living in together, you just haven’t formally acknowledged it yet.

Tip: If you’re thinking of moving together but haven’t spent much time at each other’s place, experts recommend doing a practice run before finally moving in.

3) What would a relationship coach say?

While this article explores the main signs that you’re ready to move in, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

Wal relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated love situations. They’re a top-rated resource for people facing this kind of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through my own love problems. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship. They even helped me get it back on track!

I was blown away by how caring, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get appropriate advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) You’ve already discussed the future

You know your partner is not serious about you if they don’t talk about the future. Unfortunately, it’s because they don’t see spending their future with you.

On the other hand, if they’re more than willing to discuss what lies ahead, it’s a clear sign that you’re ready to move in together.

See, cohabitating is often the first step towards a long-term commitment – maybe even marriage. So what happens when you live together – may or may not – lead to a proposal.

If you’ve not talked about or discussed the reality of this, then you may want to shelve your moving in plans for the meantime.

5) You communicate well

Communication is vital, especially when it comes to relationships. And, if you manage to communicate well with each other, it’s a sign you’re ready to move in together.

According to relationship coach Kathy Jacobson, it’s essential to know how to communicate “clearly what it is each one of you wants and needs” before living together.

She adds: “It’s crucial to any relationship that there is one person talking and the other one listening.”

If you have poor communication skills with your partner, you (or they) may end up suffering from a lack of emotional intimacy.

Worse, you may get passive-aggressive towards them – or even resent them for good.

Ultimately, you’re not ready to move in until you’ve 100% polished your communication lines with your S.O.

6) You’ve already survived a colossal fight

As with most couples, you may have had a fight that would’ve probably broken your relationship up for good.

But, if you’ve survived it, you will most likely endure cohabitating too. You’re going to have fights along the way. Some may be small, but some may be even larger than life!

See, knowing how to recover from a fight is a handy tool – especially if you’re moving in together. Conflicts are bound to happen when you live together, so knowing how to resolve them will surely do you well.

7) You don’t ignore your current problems

Getting over a major fight is one thing. Readily addressing the small and mid-size problems that come after that is just as vital.

After all, it’s one of the signs that you’re ready to move in together.

See, ignoring the same old issues is never good. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away.

But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are.

I learned about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what traps us.

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves.

Simply put, we need to face the facts about love.

The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty.

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency, unable to resolve issues.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to the issues I’ve been facing.

If you’re done with wasting your time on a relationship that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities.

Click here to watch the free video.

8) You’re best friends

If your partner is not only your lover – but your best friend – it’s a sign that you’re ready to move in with them.

In fact, those who consider their partner their best friend reported to be more satisfied in their relationship, according to psychologist Gary Lewandowski, Jr., Ph.D.

He goes on to explain in his Psychology Today article that:

“This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love – based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests – last longer and are more satisfying.

“Companionate love is more closely associated with relationship satisfaction than is passionate love – the type of romantic love based on intense feelings of attraction and preoccupation with one’s partner.”

9) You’re okay with losing some of your independence

Living alone has its perks. For example, you could leave your dirty clothes all over the place, and no one will scold you for it.

So if you’re willing to leave this independence behind, it’s a sure sign that you’re ready to move in with your partner.

Cohabitating with them often means you may not be able to do the things you once did when you were living alone.

You may not be able to go out on your weekend hiking trips on a whim.

You may not be able to go drinking out with your friends whenever you feel so as well.

While you may be giving up some of your freedom by moving in together, being with your one true love is definitely worth it!

10) You’re not afraid to embarrass yourself in front of them

Another perk of living alone is being able to do the most embarrassing things with no shame. You can let one rip or drop a smelly deuce and not worry about it.

And if you’re okay doing this with your S.O. around, this goes on to show that you’re ready to live with them.

See, you can’t just conceal your embarrassing body processes once you live with them. You could try, but it’s not comfortable.

On top of that, doing such is essentially faking things.

If you plan on marrying your partner, they’ll see (or experience) these embarrassing things eventually. So you might as well show them now!

If you know for a fact that you’re comfy enough in your own skin, then cohabitating with them should not be an issue!

11) You know their pet peeves by heart (and you know what to do with them)

We all have our pet peeves.

Half-open cabinets.

Cups without coasters.

So even if you genuinely love this person, they can still make you tick (and vice-versa.)

But if you know to prevent and address their grievances by heart, it’s a sign that you’re ready to move in together.

See, cohabitating is different from sleeping over at their place. You’re with each other 24/7, and you’re bound to piss each other along the way.

Knowing how to diffuse this bomb – or prevent it from exploding in the first place – is a skill that will keep your cohabitation life generally peaceful.

12) You’re not afraid to talk about money…

Moving in together may bring some financial relief, but it can also put an undue burden.

Explains credit professionals:

“Arguments over money and finances are all too common, and they can cause real harm to a relationship. Even partners who agree on everything may be surprised to discover they have very different views on money.

“Coming to an understanding early on about managing finances is just as important. And couples who don’t talk about money before marriage put themselves at greater risk of finance-related divorces down the line.”

So if you both are freely able to talk about money – bills, debt, and all – then moving in together shouldn’t be a pain in the neck.

13) …But you’re not moving in just to save money

Let’s face it. Many couples move in together to split the rent, bills, and utilities, especially in this pandemic era.

So if you’re moving in together for love, not purely for economic reasons, you know you’re indeed ready.

Better yet, it may be a sign that they’re ready to marry you someday!

14) You’re not doing it in hopes of changing them

There are many good reasons to cohabitate with each other. Hoping it would change them, however, is a no-no.

Explains relationship expert Maryanne Comaroto, Ph.D.: 

“If your rationale has more to do with what you want from them than what you want for your bond, it may be a sign that you’re not ready.”

Don’t ever think that living in their place will force them to be – say – cleaner or more organized. You’ll just end up fighting – or worse, breaking up.

But if you’re moving in without any intention of changing their ways and habits, it means you’re thoroughly ready. After all, living with them means accepting their flaws and all.

15) You’ve taken many trips together

Jetsetting with your partner isn’t the same as moving in, but it gives you a preview of what they’ll be when you move in together.

Says Natalie Compton of the Washington Post:

“While travel is one of life’s treasures, it’s also incredibly stressful. You’re thrown into a new place with new challenges. Decision fatigue hits hard when every minute of the day is filled with new choices… Add another person into the mix, and now you’re trying to balance both of your vacations.”

So if you’ve gone on multiple trips without killing each other, moving in with them should be a breeze.

16) You know how much space each person needs

You may need your own space, or you may be willing to share it with your S.O. No matter the case, knowing the area each person needs is a prerequisite for moving in together.

For starters, this can help you decide on the place.

Do you or your partner have a big-enough house, or is it too small for the both of you?

Are they willing to give up some of their space for you?

Do you need a house with more rooms to fulfill each other’s space needs?

Undoubtedly, this will infringe on the financial aspect of your plan, which is why you need to be able to talk about money as I’ve mentioned.

17) You can handle their mess

Maybe you’re lucky enough to be with a partner who’s as tidy (or messy) as you. But if that’s not the case, you know you’re ready to move in together if you can tolerate their mess.

If you can deal with closing their half-open cabinets – or collecting their dirty clothes (which, ironically, are all strewn everywhere but in the hamper), then you’re good to go.

That said, this doesn’t mean that you just let them skate by these transgressions. You’re both adults, and I’m sure you could talk about these pressing matters before moving in.

In case you aren’t able to, a relationship coach should be able to help you out.

For this, I always recommend Relationship Hero. It’s the best resource for love coaches who aren’t just talk.

Personally, I tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions.

My coach was kind, they took the time to understand my unique situation and gave genuinely helpful advice.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to check them out.

18) You know how to share the chores

It’s the 21st century. Most couples now have full-time jobs. So it’s not the girl who ONLY does the house chores (although the brunt still goes with her.)

That’s why if you know how to share/designate them with your S.O., it’s a sign that you’re ready to move in together.

After all, research has shown that sharing chores benefits relationships too!

Sharing the chores doesn’t always mean a 50/50 split though. For example, you may be working from home while your partner is back in the office. Consequently, you may need to do more house chores than them.

The point here is every person knows how to chip in – so everything gets done just as needed. This will help prevent any resentment from building up, especially if you’re the one doing most of the work in the house.

19) You agree on pets

You’re blessed if your partner is on the same side when it comes to pets. But if not, it could be a big issue.

After all, your pet will make a mess – and probably eat up some of your money – just like your partner.

Worse, they could be completely allergic to your pet’s furs.

Suffice to say, you know you’re good to move in together if you’ve agreed upon the pet issue. For starters, it contributes to the space issue I’ve mentioned above. Some neighborhoods don’t allow certain breeds, so you both need to consider that.

Additionally, having a pet means knowing who’ll clean the poop and who’ll pay for the medical costs. On top of this, you both need to be on the same page about who gets custody should you break up!

20) You love their family and friends like they’re your own

Although you may have some issues with your S.O.’s family and friends, you’re ready to cohabitate if you treat them like your own.

See, living with your partner often means seeing these people more frequently. In fact, you may have to accommodate them in your home from time to time.

You’ll have to act like you’re okay with it, although deep inside, you’re not.

As relationship expert Maria Sullivan explained in her Insider interview:

“Before moving in with a partner, you must evaluate how they feel toward your friends because everyone has that one friend who overstays their welcome.

“If their friends have become family, you won’t fight over hosting guests or unexpected visits — which can relieve the stresses of living together. Go for it.”

21) You both have an exit strategy

Let’s face it. We all want our relationships to last, but the truth of the matter is it’s not always possible.

While this sounds pessimistic, having an exit strategy also means you’re ready to move in together.

In simpler terms, you have a plan of who’ll stay – and who’ll leave the place if the relationship goes down the drain.

On the other hand, it could also mean saving some money in case you both decide to break the lease.

I know this sounds dreary, but this is an essential strategy couples need to put in place before cohabitating.

22) You can’t think of reasons NOT to move in

Moving in together is a big decision. That’s why it’s perfectly normal if you’re listing the pros and cons of doing it.

Needless to say, you’re ready to take the plunge if you can’t think of any good reason not to move in.

Sure, you’ll lose some of your freedom and space – but you’re okay with it. Better yet, you don’t mind showing them what you look like without all the makeup.

All you can think about is how happy you’ll be waking up next to your partner every day!

23) Ultimately, everything feels perfectly right

Some couples try to speed through the process of moving in for various reasons. There’s the issue of money, while some do it to reach the next stage faster.

So if you’re both doing it without feeling any rush or pressure, you’re both ready.

See, moving in necessitates that the timing be accurate. It shouldn’t be too late, and it shouldn’t be too soon either.

And, if your gut is telling you that everything’s right, it probably is. After all, it’s best to ‘trust your gut!’

Final thoughts

Moving in with your partner is a big step. That’s why it’s crucial to determine if you’re really ready to make this move.

Hopefully, the signs above have shed light on whether or not cohabitating with your partner is a good idea. Remember, you shouldn’t rush into things!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers).

Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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