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How I got my ex back (and how you can too)

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I had the hardest breakup of my life last year.

All the words I’d written on relationships and love did nothing to help.

I’ll be honest:

Whiskey helped a little, but it also gave me pounding headaches and it didn’t fix the underlying issue: the girl I loved was gone.

No amount of psychobabble or self-help talk could erase that simple fact.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, an unlikely solution to my problem appeared.

Read my story below about the surprising way I got my ex back (and how you can do exactly the same thing).

What happened?

When I met my girlfriend I was a little lost in life.

She sparked something in me that had been asleep for awhile and reminded me of the beauty that’s all around us.

It wasn’t so much that I found “what was missing” or some Hallmark cliche.

Angels didn’t descend from Heaven and everything didn’t suddenly look more vivid or magical like some Hollywood rom-com.

It was a little more low-key than that, but still amazing.

It was more like I found a partner-in-crime who I could really be at home with. I found a woman who made me aspire to be a better version of myself and someone who I was incredibly attracted to.

But I’m not going to lie to you and say it was a fairy tale.

We were two flawed human beings, and our issues started to come to the surface with a vengeance after almost a year of being together.

Things spiraled and our relationship began going noticeably downhill.

I know she still cared about me a lot, but that love was starting to be infected with a kind of resentment as well.

She wondered why I was so distant and busy, and I wondered why she had to be so critical of every little thing…

And it led to that day when she told me that she thought it was best we go our separate ways.

I argued like crazy and tried to get her to reconsider, but it didn’t work.

She was gone.

Lost in the dark woods

The time after she left was a kind of nightmare.

I felt like I was lost in a dark forest with no lantern to guide me. I don’t want to be overly dramatic or whatever here — and I know plenty of people have been through worse — but it hurt like hell.

And it was confusing.

The writer Kahlil Gibran said “love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation,” and he was 100% correct.

The 80s band Cinderella put it in more modern terms with their song “You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.”

It’s not that I was dependent on her, but I felt like some code-breaker trying to decipher a map that I no longer had any idea about.

I was wandering on a trail but I no longer cared at all where I ended up.

I had lost my sense of direction.

Was there still hope?

If you’d asked me a year ago I would have sworn on my own life that there was no hope of ever reconciling with my girlfriend.

After all, she’d let me know in no uncertain terms that she was gone and she’d given it her best shot.

She wished me well and hit the road..

Knowing her determined spirit and headstrong ways I was sure she meant it. I knew she was hurt, but I also knew she’d survive. And she said clearly that we were over and to move on with my life…

I sort of did.

After the breakup, my job continued and I still had friends. I even went on a few uninspiring dates.

But something big was missing in my soul.

The Colombian novelist Gabriel García Márquez — best known for Love in the Time of Cholera — summarized my state at that time perfectly:

“Perhaps this is what the stories meant when they called somebody heartsick. Your heart and your stomach and your whole insides felt empty and hollow and aching.”

The messages I sent my ex went unreturned. She was clearly moving on with her life and I heard rumors through a friend that she was with a new guy.

I was sure there was absolutely no hope of getting her back…

But I was dead wrong.

Just when I hit rock bottom…

Like I said, I was sure she was gone forever.

Over the last few months, I’d watched enough dating coaches and love experts to go through twenty bottles of Tylenol (no offense guys).

I even went to a fucking psychic! Okay my friend went to a psychic and I pretty much just tagged along for the ride…

She just told me my aura was cloudy. I mean, did I need to go to a psychic to hear that? Was I cloudy with a chance of rain?

How profound…

Then one morning my mind suddenly circled back to this one video I’d seen a few days ago. At first, it had blended it with all the other dating videos, to be honest.

But some of what the guy had said started popping back up for me.

Taking a second look

I went and clicked on it again. The title seemed clickbait-y, but the content was making a hell of a lot of sense…

It talked about a way to get my ex back that wasn’t gimmicky or silly.

It provided actionable steps for thinking about our relationship and repairing what had been broken by getting out of the past and into the future.

It helped me begin to switch my mind from passive to proactive.

And the difference that made was frankly mind-blowing.

The thing is, my girlfriend had really and truly broken up with me and left my life for good.

She’d blocked me almost everywhere and didn’t even interact with our former mutual friends.

Now this “relationship geek” love coach Brad Browning was promising he could help me get her back.

It sounded way too good to be true.

Did I believe him?

Of course not (excuse me while I laugh). I thought he was just trying to sell his program and grab some cash out of my wallet.

But somewhere in the back of my mind was about 1% of my brain that was absorbing his practical, action-oriented steps and wondering:

Could this guy actually be right?

<<Watch the free video that saved my relationship here>>

Spoiler: he was right

I hate to ruin the suspense, but Brad was right.

I’m not saying he alone “saved” my relationship or some other silly marketing claim, but the advice in his program did actually work.

It didn’t just make sense in theory, it made sense and succeeded in action.

There were other things that changed in my life and my ex-girlfriend’s life but the steps I put into action from Brad had a big impact and my confidence started coming back.

I realized that I would never get back my ex from a position of weakness and despair.

I had to be proactive. I had to stop being a victim.

Because there were practical things I could do, based on real relationship psychology, that could help me get my ex back.

Brad Browning taught me them.

<<Watch Brad Browning’s free video here>>

However, there was some bad news…

That’s us, after we got back together

It’s going to be hard for you to hear…

So brace yourself…

My ex-girlfriend is still my ex-girlfriend. In fact, she’s not even my girlfriend at all now.

She’s my fiancée.

Yes, seriously: she is now my wife-to-be.

Absolutely our relationship is not perfect, whose is? But we are together and we worked through many of our issues.

It wasn’t all Brad and his advice, but I’d be lying to your face if I said none of it was.

He didn’t mess around with New Age psychobabble and jargon: he just delivered the unvarnished truth straight to me and convinced me by logic.

He helped me understand crucial facts about my ex and the different things men and women want from relationships.

He helped me understand the key difference trying to win someone’s love and being “needy” and unattractive.

He gave me real, life-proven ways to increase sexual attraction and romantic love that weren’t weird or awkward.

And most importantly, all of it worked.

Not through magic, not through “tricks” and not through sudden, bullshit quick fixes.

It took time, patience, and good humor during some times when progress seemed slow.

But it worked.

My fiancée and I didn’t “resume” our relationship at all.

We started a new one. A better one.

One that I never would have dreamed of a year ago.

I can honestly say that my life is not only better with her, but much better overall, and it started changing for the better even before she ended up coming back…

Thanks for listening to my story.

If you want to get your ex back, like I did, I encourage you to watch Brad Browning’s excellent free video here.

FREE eBook: 4 Steps to Starting Over With An Ex

Do you want to get back with your ex?

Then you need to check out our FREE eBook, The Ex Back Handbook.

We have one goal in mind with this book: to help you win back an ex (for good!).

If you want a foolproof plan to reverse your break up, you’re going to love this guide.

Check it out here.

I just launched a YouTube channel

Thanks so much for stopping by Hack Spirit. I hope you have enjoyed reading this article.

If you liked this article, you may enjoy subscribing to me on YouTube.

I just launched my channel and I’m creating videos based on the articles you’re reading. It would mean the world to me if you click the subscribe button below. Then you’ll see my videos when I publish them.

 

Here’s one of my latest videos. Check it out!

 

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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