How do guys feel when you cut them off? The truth is that it can be a whole mix of emotions.
What silence does to a man will depend not only on the man but also on the relationship you have with him and how he feels about you.
In this article, we’ll discuss exactly what is going through his head when you cut him off, along with how to do it and the glaring signs it’s all for the best.
15 things guys feel when you cut them off
He notices you have unfollowed and blocked him. “Oh,” he thinks to himself. Then carries on with the rest of his day as normal.
The unfortunate truth we don’t always want to accept is that some guys won’t feel very much at all when you cut them off.
This is especially going to be the case when you are dealing with total f**kboys and players.
In this instance, sadly there is a strong chance you are just another girl to them. As they were never emotionally invested in the first place, they don’t feel a whole lot about it.
That can sting, especially when you were secretly looking for a reaction by cutting him off.
The silver lining is that, if that is the case, he is still better off out of your life. Plus, don’t be surprised if one day, out of the blue, he does feel something.
Last year I was dating a guy for a few weeks who effectively stood me up one time. He then dropped into my inbox with a really pathetic excuse two days after.
So of course, I politely cut his ass off.
He didn’t have a lot to say about it all and appeared very indifferent. Until 8 months later that is when he was in my DM’s again apologizing for his “lame” behavior.
So the moral of the story is, that he may be indifferent now, but learn his lesson later.
There’s a chance that a guy might not totally understand what on earth is going on when you cut him off.
So he could feel pretty confused about it.
Maybe he is left scratching his head over what he could have done wrong. Or he is wondering if you are no longer into him.
If you decided to cut him off after an accumulation of things, rather than one particular incident — he might not get why.
He’s chalking it up to yet another one of those mysteries about women he’ll never understand.
Let’s say you suddenly got the ‘ick’. Any feelings of attraction you once felt have faded and there’s no going back.
So you decide it’s easier to ignore him and just cut him off completely. Let’s face it, there’s not a guy in the world who isn’t going to be left feeling rejected.
If he is interested in you and you cut him off, then it’s bound to be a knock-back.
If he is the insecure type it might shake his confidence, and leave him questioning what he might have done wrong to lose your interest.
4) He misses you
If you have been dating for a while or in a relationship he will probably start to miss you when you cut him off.
In fact, that is often why people who want to get their ex back after a breakup decide to follow the no contact rule. They hope that the feeling of loss might make their ex miss them and come to their senses.
Sometimes that might be what happens. But the reality is that you can miss someone and still not want them back.
Missing someone who has been a feature in our life is bound to happen when we don’t see them or speak to them anymore.
Cutting someone off is always going to cause some level of sadness. It’s hard to let go of someone you care about.
If you were a couple, if you spent happy times together, if you meant something to one another, then sadness is a natural response.
Grief and loss are part of the emotions we all feel after a breakup. So cutting someone off is going to bring up these feelings.
Losing someone abruptly from your life can feel very final, which triggers hurt and sorrow.
There are some scenarios when a guy might find it slightly amusing that you have cut him off.
Perhaps he suspects that you are only sulking or cutting him off in order to get back at him in some way.
He knows you don’t really mean it and he questions whether you’ll even have the resolve to keep it up. Instead, he imagines that when you’ve cooled down you’ll unblock him or get back in touch. You might even pretend like nothing ever happened.
Or maybe he thinks you are hugely overreacting. In his mind, you had a tantrum over something he said or did, and now you’ve cut him off.
If he isn’t that bothered about the whole thing, or he thinks you are making something out of nothing, he might think it’s all kind of funny.
We’ve all had those emotionally exhausting relationships that drain the life out of us.
Perhaps it’s those back and forth relationships that are plagued by constant breakups and makeups.
Maybe despite a strong attraction, you really aren’t compatible. Or you care about each other, but can’t seem to stop arguing.
When things aren’t working between you two, for whatever reason, when you cut him off he might feel relief.
Relief is a very common reaction to a breakup. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, and this feeling can also be quite short-lived (as it is replaced with sadness or missing someone).
But initially, life can feel easier, just because the drama that has been causing him stress has stopped.
8) Regret or guilt
Sometimes it is the case that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.
It’s a part of human nature to realize what we had once we lose it. It’s much easier to take it for granted when we imagine it will always be there.
Getting cut off might make him look back at what he has lost with regret. He might start replaying events over in his mind. But think about what he should have done and said instead.
If you have cut him off because of the way he acted, he might also feel guilt over hurting you.
He could be thinking about how his behavior or words have affected you and feeling pretty bad about it all.
9) His pride is dented
Feeling like his pride is dented isn’t quite the same as feeling rejected.
There is a lot more ego involved in dented pride and far less sincere emotion.
Because nobody likes to feel rejected, getting cut off can bruise his ego. It’s more of a sense of “who does she think she is” rather than feeling sad about it.
This is especially true if he likes to think of himself as a ladies man or God’s gift to women.
If he feels like he is in the driving seat, but then control over the situation is taken from him, he is unlikely to be happy about it.
If he is the egotistical type, then cutting him off could leave a big ‘ole dent in his pride.
Be careful of these types of men, as they can end up pursuing you for the wrong reason. Just to prove something to himself that he can get you back.
These days often when we split from someone (either in a relationship or just casual dating) we remain in the peripheral of each other’s lives.
There are so many ways to stay in touch. So it’s common to stay friends on social media or continue to follow each other.
Although you might not be together, you can still nosey at one another’s lives.
This voyeurism has become pretty common. It feeds our curiosity over where someone is, what they are doing, and what is going on in their life.
If you cut him off completely, he no longer is privileged to this info. That can leave him feeling very curious.
Anger and frustration are other likely responses a guy might feel to you cutting him off.
You’re taking away his ability to contact you. This means he can’t talk to you anymore. And he doesn’t get a say in it all.
So he might feel annoyed by your actions. Especially if he still has things to say.
If you have cut him off without giving any explanation, he may even feel angry about that.
Or maybe he is simply frustrated that you won’t let him see you again when he wants to try and work things out.
Depending on your motives for cutting a guy off, he might feel manipulated.
If you are specifically doing it to get a reaction out of him rather than because you genuinely want him out of your life, he might sense it.
Maybe you had a big fight, perhaps he did something you didn’t like and now you want to punish him for it.
But deep down you know that this isn’t forever. You are venting your feelings. You want him to know you’re not happy and so you decided to cut him off for a bit.
If he realizes this, he might feel like you are trying to manipulate him. Cutting him off is more of an emotional weapon that you are wielding against him and he sees it for what it is.
Cutting a guy off can also make him feel nostalgic.
He misses being able to call you whenever he wants. He misses having access to you. It makes him feel sentimental.
It gives him a yearning for the good times. The fun times. The time before you two broke up.
And it makes him wonder why things went wrong.
Nostalgia is slightly different from simply missing someone. It involves looking back fondly on things.
Another quirk of human psychology is that when something is over, we tend to look back with rose-tinted glasses, focusing on the good not the bad.
Cutting off very headstrong guys might trigger their stubborn side.
“Well if she’s going to cut me off, then fine, I’m cutting her off”.
He might feel determined to meet fire with fire and not give any ground. He feels like he wants to wait it out and not give in.
He refuses to give in first and contact you, because he feels mulish and unprepared to back down.
In some instances, cutting a guy off may be the fire up his ass that is needed to motivate him to change his behavior.
Whether it is biological or social, there is this image that guys enjoy the chase.
As Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist, relationship coach and divorce mediator told NBC News:
“I have always had a theory that is related to males traditionally being the pursuers. They like the pursuit and seem to place more value (at least initially) on a woman that is beyond their reach. When she ends the relationship, this rejection could hit his confidence and self-esteem hard.”
In some cases, the feeling of rejection can make it harder for a guy to move on, which actually increases his interest in a girl and makes him more determined to get her.
Want expert advice for your situation?
While this article explores the main things a guy feels when you cut him off, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
3 signs you need to cut him off right now
You might feel bad about it, deep down in your heart you may not even want to do it, but there are times when you need to cut a guy off.
When should I cut a guy off?
Here are some signs that you need to remove a man from your life once and for all:
1) You’re tired of waiting around for him
You really like him, but you’re just not getting back what you need and want from him.
Maybe he’s breadcrumbing you. He gives you just enough attention to keep stringing you along, but that’s it.
He runs hot and cold. He can be nice to you one day and pretty much ignore you the next.
He lays it on thick, telling you exactly what you want to hear. But then he does a disappearing act on you, only to pop up again later.
You hope that he is finally going to ask you out, become your boyfriend or commit to you in some way — but it never happens.
Sadly, cutting off a guy who won’t commit is often the only way of taking control back of the situation. Otherwise, he may simply continue leading you on.
2) Having him in your life is emotionally draining
Our feelings can be powerful guides.
If having him in your life makes you feel sad, exhausted, used, frustrated, crushed, rejected—or any other negatively draining emotion— it could be time to leave him behind.
All relationships go through ups and downs, but some feel like a constant rollercoaster ride. And if those ups and downs are making you dizzy, it is time to cut him out.
Perhaps you keep going back and forth, and you feel trapped in the cycle that repeats itself.
Cutting him off can be the only way of breaking that cycle and starting afresh.
3) He doesn’t treat you like you deserve
Cutting off contact with a guy you like isn’t easy, believe me I know.
Remember that guy I mentioned earlier who had stood me up and then tried to casually slide back into my life?
I’ll be honest, a big part of me wanted to let him back in, because I liked him. I wished things were different, I wished he were different. But it wasn’t and he wasn’t.
Here’s the thing:
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” — Maya Angelou
I love this quote because it reminds me how we get a say in who we let into our lives. And if someone isn’t treating us the way we deserve, it’s up to us to enforce those boundaries.
If he isn’t kind enough to you, if he doesn’t put enough effort in, if the relationship feels very unhealthy (or even toxic), if everything feels on his terms, if you constantly question his feelings for you, if it all feels one-sided…
…cutting him off is ultimately for your own good.
It may not feel good doing it at the time. But think of it this way:
By allowing him to swan in and out of your life you are keeping yourself in limbo.
You are keeping yourself stuck when you could free yourself up to find someone who does treat you how you deserve.
How do you politely cut a guy off?
It’s official, you are very ready to #boybye him. But how do you get rid of him, in the nicest way possible?
In the era of ghosting, it can be very tempting to take the easy way out. But let’s face it, that’s never cool.
I have one simple rule in life, and that’s to treat others as I would like to be treated. And funnily enough, I don’t like being ghosted.
So here is what to do instead:
1) Be honest and clear
“It’s not you, it’s me”.
There are 1001 potential cliches we can pull out of the bag when we’re looking for an excuse why we don’t want to see someone anymore.
But 9 times out of 10 they are a cop-out. At worst excuses are a complete lie, and at best they cause confusion.
If you tell him you like him but you’re not ready for a relationship when that’s not the case, you could still be inadvertently stringing him along.
Instead, be honest and clear about how you feel. Don’t feel a strong enough connection? Then be respectful enough to be honest about it.
Similarly, if you decide to kick his ass to the curb because he’s been behaving like a jerk, don’t be afraid to let him know that his actions fell short of your expectations.
Often we’re worried about looking like we’re making a “big deal of things” by being clear about how we feel, but honestly it is an important part of healthy communication.
2) Be kind and compassionate
Being honest is never an excuse to be tactless or cruel. You can even deliver things that people may not want to hear with kindness.
Even if you’re cutting a guy off because of the way he has acted, you still don’t need to be bitter about it.
Even if you feel kind of angry inside, think of it this way, you’re going to come across as a lot more dignified by keeping your cool.
We can still tell someone they have hurt us, disappointed us or let us down in a compassionate way.
3) Be firm with your boundaries
Cutting someone off is going to test your boundaries.
At some point, your resolve may be tested, especially if they try to get back in touch with you or want you to reconsider.
Remind yourself of why it is for the best. Don’t agree to things that don’t feel good for you.
If you have already explained how you feel, he can’t accept it, and is pestering you then you may decide it’s time to delete and block him.