High maintenance woman vs low maintenance: 11 differences you need to know about

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

When you start dating a woman, one of the first things you find out is whether they’re high maintenance or low maintenance.

A high-maintenance woman is generally a person who seeks attention and has a lot of needs that need to be met in order to provide for her.

On the other hand, a low-maintenance woman doesn’t try to make everything about them and finds value in even the smallest of things.

This begs the question: what are the main differences between high maintenance and low maintenance women?

Here are the 11 aspects and personality traits that can help differentiate them:

1) Sense of Urgency

High Maintenance – Highly Impatient

High-maintenance women tend to have an undue sense of urgency about every single thing in their life.

They can tend to be highly impatient and hate the concept of waiting for the things they want.

If they desire it, it should have been in their hands yesterday.

High-maintenance women believe that their needs should come with a priority tag and may even expect the people around them to cater to these needs with the same sense of urgency.

Low Maintenance – Highly Patient

Low-maintenance women can be extremely patient with the people around them even if they have a genuinely urgent need.

They don’t presume to be owed anything all the time and are more than willing to wait to get the things they want.

They also don’t boss around others to get their needs met on time as they have a great deal of value and respect for the time of other people.

She will also understand that sometimes delays are inevitable in life and don’t blow their roof off if things don’t fit their timeline.

2) Personality

High Maintenance – Dramatic

High-maintenance women tend to live in a perpetual state of drama.

Frequent meltdowns, mood swings, and melodramatic arguments are part of her personality.

They may literally make a mountain out of a molehill. They can’t digest minor inconveniences and tend to make a crisis out of every situation.

This habit of blowing things out of proportion is because they’re naturally attracted to the drama.

She may even expect others to be more empathetic and understanding even if They’re being unreasonable.

Low Maintenance – Drama-Free

Low-maintenance women tend to loathe the concept of drama in their normal life.

They understand that life has both positive and negative situations.

They will rarely ever fuss or make a big deal out of something just because it didn’t go the way they wanted.

She will also understand that the universe doesn’t revolve around them and will take it on their chin to overcome the hurdles in their path.

3) Material Status

High Maintenance – High-End or No End

High-maintenance women derive a great deal of pleasure from material status.

They believe that They’re entitled to the high-end stuff of life and largely focus on material belongings.

No matter whether it is a dinner date or a vacation, they tend to expect to be treated to the fanciest of places.

This usually stems from underlying insecurity and low self-esteem.

High-maintenance women also tend to love shopping at designer shops for high-end apparel.

Low Maintenance – Enjoys Simplicity

Low-maintenance women understand the value of money and prefer a simplistic lifestyle.

Their happiness isn’t dependent on their material status or materialistic possessions.

They often find a great deal of value in the opportunity to go out with you shopping more than where they shop.

This is because they don’t have a desire to flaunt their financial worth and rather are content enjoying the simple pleasures of life.

4) Split the Bill

High Maintenance – Makes You Pay

A high-maintenance woman will tend to believe that she deserves to be treated like royalty.

She believes that her time spent with you is worth a lot and as such will expect you to pay for the meals.

They will seldom offer to split the bill or cover her part.

A high-maintenance woman may even get upset if you bring it up as they may desire a lavish lifestyle and believe it is your responsibility to provide it for her.

She may even feel like it is a privilege that she deserves.

Low Maintenance – Always Offers to Split the Bill

A low-maintenance person doesn’t expect expensive dates or an overly-lavish lifestyle.

They value your hard-earned money as if it were their own. The time they get to spend with you is more important than the venue of the date.

Even at expensive restaurants, they always offer to split the bill. She understands that choosing to pay for the bill is your prerogative but offering to cover half of it is her responsibility.

This is because low-maintenance women don’t place a premium on the time they spend with you and treat the relationship as an equal financial partnership.

5) Closed-Minded

High Maintenance – Narrow-Minded

High-maintenance women are usually narrow-minded and are rarely open to listening to the opinions of others.

They believe that they know everything that is there to be known in the world and aren’t open to new ideas.

They can easily be offended by critical feedback even if it was given in the interest of helping them.

High-maintenance women can be stubbornly stuck in their own ways and resent being told that They’re wrong.

Low Maintenance – Open-Minded

Low-maintenance women are more open-minded.

They crave the opportunity to have their ideas challenged by the opinions of others and are highly receptive to constructive criticism.

They acknowledge that no one is perfect and are the first to admit when they’re wrong.

She may enjoy having intellectual conversations and discussions with you about conflicting ideologies.

Low-maintenance women are also self-aware; They’re able to put themselves in the shoes of other people to understand different points of view.

6) Sense of Entitlement

High Maintenance – Entitled

A high-maintenance woman can feel a great sense of entitlement.

They may understand that everyone deserves respect but will expect to be treated with a higher level of respect and care than most.

Not only does she believe that she deserves better than others but will also demand such treatment.

She may even carry herself as if she is the best person in the room and will get extremely upset if you don’t meet the standards she defines.

Low Maintenance – Happy With Anything

As mentioned earlier, a low-maintenance woman doesn’t consider herself to have an elevated status as compared to others.

They will only expect a normal level of mutual respect from their partners and will never act like she is owed attention.

They’re not pretentious and don’t set unrealistic standards for their partners.

They’re usually happy and appreciate even the little things you do for them.

7) Critics

High Maintenance – Strongly Opinionated Critics

High-maintenance women are also fierce critics.

They have strong opinions and will expect your opinions to be in alignment with their own.

She will always set high standards of physical, emotional, and financial requirements; the moment you don’t meet these standards she will resort to harshly critique you for “sub-par” standards.

They won’t stop until you say that you agree with them.

Low Maintenance – Amiable and Soft-Spoken

A low-maintenance woman is amiable and soft-spoken.

They have their own beliefs but will respect your opinions as well.

They will never pressurize you to change your opinions just because they believe in something different.

In fact, they will love that other people can have different perspectives and may even go out of their way to find conflicting thoughts.

She will never put you down or act condescending just because you don’t meet arbitrary standards.

8) Need to Control

High Maintenance – Dictates Terms of the Relationship

A woman who is high maintenance will stop at nothing to get their way.

They need to have a say in every aspect of your life and have to control every part of the relationship.

They dictate the terms of the relationship.

This means wearing what she wants to wear, doing what she wants, going out whenever she wants, and buying her anything she desires.

If not careful, she may even reduce your role to that of an errand boy.

Low Maintenance – Treats It Like an Equal Partnership

A low-maintenance woman will never control your life.

They treat the relationship as an equal partnership where two individuals get to grow together.

She trusts you enough to make your own decisions even if those decisions would affect her.

Sure, she may have desires and preferences but will never enforce anything on you. They will never make you do something that you don’t want to do.

9) Attention

High Maintenance – Has to Be the Spotlight

A high-maintenance woman has to be the center of everything and craves the spotlight. They need to be given every bit of attention in the world.

If They’re denied this attention in any form, they will make a scene over it and create drama around her.

She doesn’t understand the circumstances or situations others may be in and will make everything about herself.

Low Maintenance – Highly Reserved

Low-maintenance women tend to be more reserved and stay away from the spotlight.

They don’t like having too many eyes on them and prefer not to be the center of attention.

Even if They’re upset, they will rarely ever create a public scene over it.

They prefer to not be noticed and will be extremely empathetic towards the feelings of others.

They will put your needs above their own at times.

10) Ability to Be Independent

High Maintenance – Highly Dependent

A high-maintenance woman can be independent if she wants to but chooses to be highly dependent on the people around her.

She may enjoy making people around her do chores for her. The things she needs could be done by herself but will still ask you to do it for her.

They may even believe that. They’re too delicate to do it themselves and that their time could be better spent by making other people do it for them.

Low Maintenance – Self-Sufficient

A low-maintenance woman will rarely depend on other people and is self-sufficient.

She will appreciate a helping hand if you offer it but will never expect or demand it from you. They value both their own abilities and your time.

As such, they refuse to waste either of those aspects by opting to do it themselves.

She will also understand that other people aren’t errand boys to do her tasks.

11) Forgiving

High Maintenance – Never Lets the Past Go

A high-maintenance woman can’t let go of past mistakes.

You may have apologized 1000 times over or the mistake itself could have been a genuine one; it doesn’t matter to her.

She will keep track of every shortcoming of yours and judge you for it. The moment she slips up, she will use this track record as a justification for her actions.

Low Maintenance – Easy to Forgive

A low-maintenance woman is peace-loving and is easy to forgive. She knows better than anyone that people can make mistakes and will forgive you after a sincere apology.

Moreover, she won’t dig up your past mistakes or hold them against you.

A low-maintenance woman will also let go of things when the chapter is over, and will always look at the positives in life for the most part.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers).

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

16 possible reasons your ex is texting you when he was the one who broke up with you

21 subtle signs you’ve met your false twin flame