There’s nothing worse than the feeling of someone slowly losing interest in you and your relationship.
I know because I’ve been there, and I wish someone had given me a heads-up on what to look for – it would have saved me a ton of confusion and heartbreak!
So, if you’ve got doubts about your partner’s commitment, read on.
If your partner does these 10 things, their heart isn’t in the relationship:
1) They stop asking how your day was
I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite moments of the day is getting home and asking my so how his day was (and then, of course, recounting mine!).
And I bet at the start of your relationship, it was the same.
But now, you get home and you’re lucky if you get a little more than a grunt when you walk through the door.
No kiss and cuddle, no excitement to hear about what you’ve been up to.
I hate to say it, but this is one of the first signs your partner is checking out – their heart is no longer in the relationship, and neither is their enthusiasm.
2) They aren’t excited about spending time together
Talking of enthusiasm, how does your partner react to the idea of spending the day together or going away for the weekend?
Do they roll their eyes, make excuses, or act like it’s a chore?
If so, this is another indication that they’re losing interest in the relationship.
I know how hard this can be to go through – an ex of mine behaved this way toward the end, and I felt incredibly hurt and confused at the time.
It almost seemed to pain him to spend time with me, and I had no idea why.
If you’re in the same situation, my advice is to spend time with those who value you!
After all, if this relationship doesn’t work out, they’ll be the ones there helping you pick up the pieces.
3) They don’t bother calling or texting anymore
At the start of a relationship, you’d stay up all night on the phone.
Even as it progressed, you’d check in with each other throughout the day.
Who doesn’t enjoy receiving cute messages when you’re bored at work?
But if that’s changed, it’s another unfortunate sign that their heart isn’t in the relationship anymore. Let me explain why:
Most of us have our phones at hand pretty much 24/7 – if your partner doesn’t bother calling or messaging anymore, there’s no excuse for it (like being busy).
They simply don’t want to, perhaps because their feelings have changed.
4) They go through the motions when it comes to intimacy
Another area of your love life that’ll be affected by the disinterest of your partner is your sex life.
What was once passionate and exciting now feels like you’re making love to a robot.
They don’t try anything new, they don’t bother complimenting your body or try to give you an epic orgasm.
All they want to do is reach the finish line, roll over, and scroll on their phone!
Again, this can be extremely hurtful to you. We all want to feel desired by our partners.
But it’s just another sign that they’re slowly checking out of the relationship, and you should start considering your next steps too.
5) They make plans without you
Have you noticed your partner making plans that don’t involve you?
Something they’d normally include you in is now happening without a mention of you being involved – for example a trip to a place your partner knows you’d love.
While it’s normal to make plans with friends and family when you’re in a relationship, most people still tend to want their partner to feel included too.
So, if your partner seems indifferent to whether you’re there or not, and doesn’t care about leaving you behind, this is a red flag that something isn’t right.
Either they just need a bit of space temporarily, or they’ve already started the moving-on process.
6) They get irritated by every little thing
When my ex started losing interest, it seemed like everything I did annoyed the sh*t out of him – including breathing too loudly *cue eye roll*…
I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him. I remember trying to be “perfect” and do everything the way he liked it.
But alas, nothing worked.
Because once a person’s heart exits the relationship chat, there’s very little you can do about it!
Sure, you could (and should) talk to them about how you’re feeling and how they’re behaving, but be prepared for a tough conversation.
And talking of break-up conversations…
7) They threaten to break up every time you argue
If your partner has started resorting to breakup threats every time you have a petty little argument, it could be a sign they’re looking for a way out.
Funnily enough, my ex broke up with me because I smoked a cigarette (one cigarette, casually while out with friends).
It took me a while to realize it, but it was never about the one cigarette. He was waiting for any opportunity to break up with me.
So if your partner is already playing that game, either they’re extremely emotionally immature, or they really do what to get out of the relationship.
8) They stop making an effort to look good for you
Another thing your partner will do if their heart isn’t in the relationship is stop making an effort for you.
Before, they’d make sure they were fresh, clean, and looking like a tasty snack for you, now they hardly bother to throw on a new change of clothes.
This is a telling sign that their interest is waning – they don’t care if you desire them or find them attractive anymore.
9) They flirt with other people
Maybe you’ve caught your partner outright flirting with the waiter, or you’ve seen them messaging someone online, but if their attention is on other people, it certainly isn’t on you!
I remember a few years back being out with a couple whose relationship was on the rocks.
She spent the entire time trying to get his attention, whereas he was too busy checking out every woman who walked past.
It was uncomfortable, to say the least.
So, if you notice your partner doing any of the above, it’s a sign that they may have already emotionally and mentally checked out of the relationship.
10) They don’t make an effort with your loved ones
And finally, if your partner has gone cold on your family and friends, unfortunately, their heart may not be in the relationship any longer.
You see, before, they would make an effort because they knew it was important to you.
They also wanted to stay in the good books of your loved ones, but now they don’t care as much.
If they’re ready to move on, the last thing they’re going to spend their time and energy on is your inner circle.
It’s a sad truth to face, but one that you should strongly think about, especially if you want to protect your heart from being hurt further!
So, now we’ve covered 10 things your partner does if their heart is no longer in the relationship…have your fears been confirmed?
If so, please know that it will get better.
Even if you do end up breaking up, it’s clearly because this person isn’t the right one for you – if anything, they’re cowardly for not being upfront and honest about their feelings!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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