Those three words “I miss you” hold so much meaning.
While they might not be the most important words you can hear from someone else, they are definitely right up there.
When a man says those words to you, it might send your heart into flutters.
But does he actually mean it, or is he just saying it because he knows that what you want to hear?
Naturally, there are a lot of grey areas when it comes to such an important phrase. After all, it’s so easy for a guy to say “I miss you” and utter those three words.
No wonder we sit back and analyze his intentions.
If you’re wondering whether or not he actually meant it, here are 13 signs to look out for to show he was genuine.
13 signs that tell he truly miss you
1) He says it in the moment
It’s not something he plans for and then makes a big deal about. Instead, it’s something that comes out in the moment, when you’re sharing some personal time together.
If he’s shouting it from the rooftops and repeating it over and over again until you respond, he probably doesn’t mean it.
He’s simply trying to impress you and wants to make sure you know it.
However, if you’re both chatting about something important and he slips those words into the conversation in the moment, then it’s likely very genuine.
2) He finds every moment to contact you
There are so many different excuses you can make up to get in contact with someone:
- Sending you a meme for a laugh.
- Asking how your day was.
- Making future plans.
- Checking what you had for dinner.
Let’s be honest, the list can go on and on. If your guy keeps reaching out and coming up with new and different things to contact you about, then it’s likely he genuinely misses you.
He wants to be near you — if not physically then by chatting via text or phone.
When you like someone, then everything around you reminds you of them. From something someone said to you, to a funny moment in your day, you simply want to share it with them.
This is a guy who does genuinely misses you.
3) A relationship coach has told you so
While this article explores the main signs he means it, when he tells you he misses you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like not knowing if a guy means it when he says he misses you. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
4) He always talks about you
Do you hear from your friends or his friends that even when you aren’t around he can’t stop talking about you?
He chats their ears off about different dates you have been on, where you’re working, what your hobbies are. If it’s about you, then he wants to share it — in the best kind of way.
You can guarantee this is a guy who genuinely misses you and he’s not afraid to show it.
By talking about you, he feels like he’s near you and not missing you as much.
He also wants other people to know exactly how he feels about you. He’s crazy about you!
You can even ask friends whether or not your name comes up in conversation with him — they’ll be able to give you a good idea…
5) He’s the first one to like your socials
OK, so maybe not the first. We expect he can’t be sitting on social media all the time…
However, if you scroll back through your latest posts, you’ll notice a common trend. He’s the one who has liked and commented on everything you’ve posted.
Once again, here’s a guy who genuinely misses you. When he shares those three words with you, believe them!
When you’re not around, he dives onto your social pages to see where you are and what you’re up to. He wants to be around you even when you’re not around.
6) He makes the plans
When you’re not with each other, there’s always a plan in the works for that next date.
“Let’s grab coffee tomorrow…”
“Are you free to catch a movie?”
Whether it’s a plan to do something the next day, or in a week, it means the same to him. It gives him a day to countdown to until the next time he gets to be with you.
Think about it, when we miss something, then we want to give ourselves something to look forward to. We make future plans that we can plan for and countdown to. You’re his future plan.
He misses you, his endless need to plan the next time he can see you proves that.
When he says he misses you, you should believe him.
7) He goes beyond just messaging
Text messaging, Facebook messaging, dating app messaging, email. Our dating lives are so easy now — we don’t even have to put in much effort.
You can continue a conversation across one of these platforms and just reply when you feel like it and when the moment is good for you.
But, if he’s going beyond that and trying to video call you so he can see you, or simply phoning you to have a chat, you can guarantee he genuinely misses you.
Texting isn’t enough for him. He wants to hear your voice. He wants to see your face. He wants to be near you because he misses you.
Next time he utters those three words to you on a video chat, make sure you soak it up. This is a guy who means every word he’s saying – and then some. His actions speak for him.
8) He tries to impress you
Despite what you might at first think, trying to impress you isn’t actually about showing off.
It’s far more primal than that.
Men have a biological drive to feel valued by the people they care about.
That’s why him stepping up to the plate and making an effort to pull out all the stops is a strong sign that you are one of these important people to him.
This biological drive is known as “the hero instinct” — and it’s a new concept in relationship psychology that’s blowing up right now.
Seriously, when I first learned about it, so much of my own experiences with men made a lot of sense, and I suddenly saw where I’d gone wrong in the past.
You can watch this free video by the man who discovered it to tell you everything you need to know and believe me, you NEED to know this stuff.
This powerful driver of male behavior means that men are compelled to dedicate themselves to those they love — especially the woman in their lives.
If you have been inadvertently triggering his hero instinct, he’s for sure going to miss you, because all his instincts are screaming at him to protect and provide for you.
It’s fascinating stuff, that I’ve only touched the surface of here.
The best thing is that you can use his hero instinct to your advantage to create a more loving, passionate and committed relationship.
To learn exactly what to do, check out this excellent free video.
9) He’s turned into a homebody
Whether you’re away on a trip, or you simply haven’t seen him in a while due to other commitments, you check in and discover he’s been spending a lot of time at home.
Well, think about it. When you’re sad about something, what do you do?
If we believe any chick flick we’ve ever seen, you naturally get into your pjs, take a tub of ice-cream out of the freezer, and eat it in one sitting.
He’s doing his own version of this. He clearly misses you a lot and isn’t even interested in going out and hanging with the guys.
Instead, he’s sitting at home thinking about you and likely messaging or speaking on the phone to you at the same time.
When he shares the words “I miss you” he definitely means it and is showing it through his actions.
10) He asks for photos
Get your mind out of the gutter, we aren’t talking about the naked or sexual kind.
He simply wants you to send a photo of what you’re doing in the moment. Whether you’re out with friends, at home reading a book, or catching up on some work. He wants to see your face.
Here’s a guy who clearly misses you and just wants to be around you.
He’s probably the same guy who is trying to video call you from time to time just so he can see you in “person” and chat properly.
He’s definitely the guy you believe when he tells you he misses you.
11) He wants to know everything about your life
If your guy goes beyond the polite, “how are you” and “how was your day” questions, it’s because he really misses you and wants to know all the little details about what you’ve been up to.
For example, if you tell him you went to lunch with work friends, instead of saying “Great” and moving on, he digs deeper. He asks what work friends you went out with. He asks where you went. He’s showing he genuinely cares about you.
He’s digging around for that information because he wants to know you better. He misses you and misses spending time with you, so is genuinely interested in how you’re spending that time.
12) He lights up when he sees you
When you do finally see each other again, how does he react when he sees you?
Does his face just light up on first glimpse?
Does he have a huge smile that he just can’t wipe off his face?
Does he immediately embrace you and not want to let go?
These are all signs that he’s clearly missed you and is excited to be catching up again. The good news is, this kind of reaction is hard to fake.
If a guy isn’t interested, he’s not going to pretend to be. Even if he does, his body language will give him away.
If he truly likes you, here are some things you might notice:
- He leans in to touch you when he talks.
- He stares into your eyes.
- He is completely focused on you and not aware of what’s going on around him.
At the time, don’t forget your own reaction to seeing him. He’ll be able to read whether or not you’re interested from your own body language.
If you’re standing aloof with your arms crossed, it’s going to send a clear message that the feeling isn’t mutual.
13) Your gut tells you so
There’s something to be said about that gut feeling of yours. Listen to it and trust it.
If you genuinely believe him when he tells you he misses you, it’s probably because he does.
Often you can just tell by the way they say and the moment it was said in, and you should trust that feeling of yours.
At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters.
If he says “I miss you” and you melt at the words and it makes you feel great, then roll with it. Don’t read into it too much.
In the moment, he made you feel just the way you should, which means it had to have some genuine feeling behind it.
Likewise, if you feel that he’s saying it with an ulterior motive, then dig a little deeper. There probably is something else going on and your instincts are telling you so.
Does he really miss me or is he lonely?
Some guys say they miss you, simply because they’re feeling lonely when you’re not there. So, is this genuine?
This is a real grey area.
The truth is, he probably does miss you. A lot. But, that doesn’t mean he has feelings for you. If he’s a lonely guy who craves your company, then he may simply miss you as a friend.
This means when he says those words he means them, just not in the way you might hope.
So, how do you know if your guy is simply lonely, and perhaps not as into the relationship as you might have hoped? Here are some signs to look out for:
- He doesn’t care what your friends think of him — after all, he is only in this relationship for himself.
- He has a very attention-seeking personality. He wants to be around you all the time and wants you to be taking care of him.
- He cancels on you if something better comes up.
- He disappears for a time and then reappears when it suits and whenever he is bored, he’ll come crawling back to you.
- He never wants to talk about the future with you. Simply because he doesn’t see one.
If you feel like you’re dating a lonely guy, then watch out for yourself. He can definitely play on your emotions and simply leave you hanging at the drop of a hat.
While you want to give him the benefit of the doubt — you do care about him after all — make sure you protect yourself as well and look after your own feelings.
So, yes. When he says the words “I miss you” he does mean them, just not in the way you might have hoped.
What a guy really means when he says “I miss you”
You might have made it through the 13 signs above and discovered that your guy perhaps wasn’t quite so genuine when he uttered those three words to you.
So, why did he say them if he didn’t mean them?
Unfortunately, not all guys are so easy to read. But here are a few possibilities of what he really meant when he said “I miss you”.
1) You said it first
You uttered those three words “I love you” to him and he felt it would be awkward not to respond. So he did.
But, does he actually mean it? Probably not.
Let’s face it, the guy isn’t crazy. He knows he just needs to say it back to avoid any awkwardness that could come up otherwise.
It’s a bit like those other three popular words, “I love you”. No-one wants to be left hanging after saying them to someone.
While there is a small chance he might mean it when he says it. The chances are he probably doesn’t.
So, how exactly can you tell?
Think about how quickly he responded. Did he say it back straight away without even thinking? If so, this sounds more like a reflex reaction with no meaning behind it.
On the other hand, did he pause for a moment before uttering the words? Sounds like he was checking in with his feelings first and might actually mean this one.
2) “I miss the sex”
Not the conclusion you want to jump to when a guy says those words to you, but something worth considering all the same.
Guys know you love hearing those words. They understand what it means to you.
And sometimes, just sometimes, they use it as a way of getting into your pants. In a roundabout sort of way, he does miss you genuinely. It’s just not in the way you might have been thinking.
It’s not the worst thing in the world. It still shows he cares and that he’s considerate of your feelings. There’s just an ulterior motive when he uses those words.
But hey, if the sex is good, then lap up those words and plan the next booty call. It can work as a win-win.
3) “ I want something”
Guys know the effect that words can have on a woman.
Which means that they occasionally choose to use those words to get what they want (and no, it’s not always about sex believe it or not).
Whether he’s looking to head away on a weekend with the guys, wants to go on a night out, or some other request, he’s buttering you up for the taking.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t genuinely care about you. It simply means that in the moment, he wants something from you and he’s using words to get his way.
It’s not a bad thing, also not a great thing. It’s about being aware of whether he wants something, or is genuinely saying it in the moment.
4) He’s postponing the L word
While the words I miss you are pretty special, they really have nothing on “I love you”.
Your guy might be using the latter so he can avoid delving into love territory.
He’s hoping it’s enough to keep you happy for the time being, while he works out exactly how he feels about you.
With the right tone, the words “I miss you” can send the same message, without actually saying the words.
So, is it a bad thing if he doesn’t mean it?
Not necessarily, he’s simply working out his feelings and preparing for the big game of love.
He might not have meant it in the moment he said it, but it’s clear that he cares about you.
Can’t complain about that!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.