Life is short–while we’re alive, we might as well get along with one another. But creating meaningful relationships takes effort.
As human beings, we all have the same basic wants and needs. Occasionally, however, some of us pick up bad behaviors that negatively affect our interactions.
These behaviors and habits can become so ingrained within us, we don’t even realize how we’re coming across.
Fortunately, I’m here to help. If you want to avoid being disliked, then read on. In this article,
I’ll take you through nine everyday habits of people that will make you instantly disliked.
Once you identify these habits, you can correct them. The path to self-awareness begins now. Let’s dive in!
1) Constant negativity
When we’re constantly negative (i.e. always complaining or putting others down), that’s a resounding reflection on us more than anything.
Sure, you can get away with the odd negative comment here and there but remember to tread lightly. You don’t want to risk having a negative outlook as your default.
There was a time in my life when I was constantly negative, and that mindset became a part of my being. I thought being pessimistic and cynical made me rebellious and edgy.
As I grew up, I eventually realized that this mindset was borderline juvenile so I consciously mellowed out.
I remember reading F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Great Gatsby at the time and this line stood out: “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
Instead of putting people down, I now accept and tolerate our differences.
Here’s the thing: when it comes down to it, everyone’s just on the same journey, wanting to find meaning and get through the day.
2) Being overly self-centered
Just like the 90s pop song, you only get what you give when it comes to relationships.
Caring about yourself is important, but when it’s done to excess, it can turn people off.
If you consistently talk about yourself and don’t let others get a word in or show any reciprocal interest, then you’re projecting a narcissistic image.
I know people that absolutely love talking about themselves but when the other person begins to share, as it is the natural flow of a conversation, they’ll almost immediately shift attention to their phone.
When you show blatant disinterest when someone else speaks, it’s not a great look–-unless you want to come across as dismissive, inconsiderate, and rude.
If this sounds like you, don’t worry, you’re not a lost cause. Try to practice active listening and communicate genuine interest in what others have to say. Remember: it ain’t all about you!
Once you make this mindset a habit, expect your relationships to pick up significantly.
At the end of the day, how we converse and interact with others is extremely telling. This brings me to my next point…
3) Constant interruptions
Real talk: when you have the habit of interrupting people midsentence, this is a form of self-centeredness.
It also comes off as annoying and obnoxious. And take it from me, nobody likes an obnoxious person.
Instead, be respectful and patient and wait for your turn to speak. As we’ve touched on previously, learn to be humble and value other people’s feedback as highly as your own, if not more.
Trust me, to get people to like you, all you need to do is follow this simple hack: listen, show interest, ask questions, and make the occasional thoughtful remark.
Follow these steps and you’ll be as popular as they come soon enough.
4) Being dishonest
For most people, being dishonest is a massive red flag. When you break trust, no matter if it’s with your significant other or a distant acquaintance, regaining it is a tall order.
So don’t let it get to this point; avoid half-truths, embellishments, and flat-out lies. Don’t constantly try to put one over people.
Nobody wants to have to be on their guard when you’re around; this gets old fast.
In short, when you’re dishonest, it’s a surefire and instant route to being disliked.
Be mindful of your words and actions, with candor and transparency always at the forefront.
5) Always being late
Exceptional circumstances aside, when you make a habit of being late, prepare to be disliked by your peers.
Respect people’s time and strive to be punctual as much as possible. If being late is part of your nature, take the appropriate steps to correct that behavior.
For example, if you’re meeting someone at 6 pm, and you’d normally leave at 530, start leaving at 5.
You never know what delays you’ll encounter in transit. Besides, habitually being early is almost always better than being late.
My cousin has always been a “late person.” Whether it’s lunch with the family, going to the cinema, or meeting for drinks, he’s a minimum of half an hour late.
Of course, he always has the same lame excuses, namely traffic or work. But the thing is everyone else has to deal with traffic, yet they all show up on time.
The difference with him is his lack of time management, rooted in a lack of consideration for others.
He’s since fixed his behavior and now makes a conscious effort to leave earlier than he usually would.
And it’s a good thing too… otherwise, he’ll get an earful from me.
6) Ignoring boundaries
Just like anything of value in life, if you want to be well-liked, you have to put the work in. This extends to respecting people’s boundaries.
As humans, we’re protective of our space, and rightfully so. Having boundaries is our collective right as living, breathing, autonomous human beings.
When people cross those boundaries, then we’ll quickly become disenchanted with them.
Say you’re a business owner and have a habit of texting employees about work on weekends or holidays–I assure you, this never ends well.
Believe it or not, employees are also human beings and equals, so respect them and their time as such.
Or let’s say your partner has communicated with you that they’d like a quiet weekend, but you go ahead and invite your rowdy friends over to watch the game and guzzle beers.
In this instance, you’ve flagrantly ignored boundaries, and as a result, expect some well-deserved strife in your relationship.
Next time you feel compelled to disregard someone’s established boundaries, do yourself and everyone else a favor and think twice.
7) Not keeping promises
From my experience, when you make it a habit of making promises and then regularly breaking them, prepare to be unpopular.
Not only is breaking promises indicative of your lack of reliability, but it’s also pretty irritating.
I have a relatively close friend like this. He used to promise the world to his friends and family. I can’t say he was disingenuous because he would often mean what he was saying.
But when the time would come, he wouldn’t deliver. Eventually, people caught on and distanced themselves from him.
I concluded that he was both a toxic optimist and people pleaser. He would get a high of making big promises to his peers. He was hooked on the feeling of positive feedback.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t a completely harmless practice, as not delivering on promises came at the expense of others.
Many have since called him out on this bad habit. And today, he has a more grounded approach to life, limiting his promises to only when he can back them up.
I wouldn’t be surprised that his relationships are in way better shape as a result
8) Being arrogant
Being confident is one thing, but when you constantly think you’re better than others, it’s generally off-putting to most people.
When you’re truly self-assured and have nothing to prove, you don’t feel the urge to brag about achievements or name-drop, put others down, or discuss the contents of your bank account.
You practice humility. You move quietly. You treat people with respect.
Arrogance is a form of overcompensating and basically, confirmation of an insecure person, lacking in their foundations.
Be humble and don’t be afraid to acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings! Once you do that, I promise you, your appeal will grow exponentially.
9) Lack of empathy
Last but certainly not least is not having empathy. If you’re selectively nice, then I have news for you: you probably aren’t a nice person.
A lack of empathy is fairly easy to detect in others. So ask yourself, are you consistently kind and gracious to everyone, even when they can’t do anything for you? Are you polite to waiters and blue-collar staff?
If you don’t have empathy towards others’ feelings or situations, people will likely view you as insensitive and unkind, and for good reason.
So, make a concerted effort to understand others’ perspectives, validate their feelings, and feel compassion.
Try walking in their shoes, you might just realize a thing or two.
In conclusion, if you want to be well-liked in life, then you need to be dedicated to changing your everyday habits.
It’s key that you consistently embody values like empathy, respect, and kindness, not just in grand gestures, but in your smallest actions.
Start small, and before you know it, these things will come naturally to you.
By manifesting positive habits and steering clear of the negative ones, you not only boost your self-esteem and personal growth but also build healthier and more meaningful relationships. And that’s what it’s all about really.
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