Lucas Graham
Navigating social circles can be tricky. We’ve all been there – trying to make a good impression but somehow missing the mark.
The truth is, there are certain habits that can instantly put people off, even without us realizing it.
It’s not about being insincere or trying to please everyone. It’s about understanding those little things that can unknowingly rub people the wrong way.
In this article, I’ll share eight habits that can instantly make people dislike you. But don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging. I’ll also share what to do instead!
So, if you’re ready to leave a positive impression and build better relationships, read on.
1) Dominating the conversation
We’ve all met that person. The one who can’t seem to stop talking about themselves.
It’s a common social faux pas that can instantly make you less likable. Conversation is a two-way street, and people generally appreciate a good listener more than a good talker.
Of course, sharing about ourselves is a natural part of human interaction. But when it becomes one-sided, it’s no longer a dialogue but a monologue. And that can quickly wear thin.
Next time you’re in a conversation, try to be more aware of how much you’re speaking versus listening. Ask questions and show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts and experiences.
2) Being negative
I remember catching up with an old friend a few years back. I was excited to see him, but as the evening wore on, I found my energy draining. It took me a while to figure out why – he was constantly negative about everything.
From his job to his neighbors, nothing escaped his barrage of complaints. It was exhausting, and honestly, it made the whole meet-up less enjoyable.
Negativity can be a real mood killer. Sure, we all have bad days and need to vent sometimes. But when it becomes a habit, it can make people want to avoid spending time with you.
It doesn’t mean you have to fake happiness or ignore your problems. But do try to focus on the positives.
3) Not maintaining eye contact
Researchers at the National Institute of Physiological Sciences in Japan have found that maintaining eye contact can actually sync up brain activity between two people.
But when you constantly look away while someone is talking to you, it can come off as disinterested or even rude. It sends out a signal that you’d rather be elsewhere, and that’s not likely to win you any fans.
Now, there’s a balance to strike here. Staring without blinking can be just as off-putting. The key is to maintain natural, respectful eye contact.
4) Constantly checking your phone
We live in a digital age, and it’s not unusual to have our phones within arm’s reach at all times.
But there’s a time and place for everything, and constantly checking your phone while interacting with others can be a big turn-off.
This habit sends a clear message: whatever is on your phone is more important than the person in front of you. It breaks the flow of conversation and can make the other person feel unimportant.
Instead, when you’re in a social situation, try to put your phone away. If you’re expecting an important call or message, let the other person know ahead of time. It’s a small courtesy that can make a big difference in how people perceive you.
5) Not being empathetic
In our busy lives, it’s easy to get caught up in our own world and forget to put ourselves in others’ shoes. But empathy is truly the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.
Imagine a friend sharing a challenging experience with you. You might not have gone through the exact same thing, but can you feel their pain? Can you understand, to some extent, what they might be going through?
That’s empathy.
Not showing empathy can make people feel unheard and unimportant. On the other hand, when we take the time to truly understand and share in someone else’s feelings, it creates a powerful bond.
6) Being judgmental
Once, I shared a dream of mine with someone I thought was a friend. Their dismissive response stung, and it made me think twice about opening up to them again.
We all have our own beliefs and opinions. But when we impose these on others or judge them based on our own standards, it can instantly make people dislike us.
Instead of jumping to conclusions or making snap judgments, try to keep an open mind. Give people the space to be themselves without fear of being judged. You might be surprised by how much more people open up when they feel accepted and understood.
7) Being late
Studies have shown that individuals who are consistently punctual are often perceived as more dependable and conscientious.
Time is one of the most valuable things we have, and when someone is consistently late, it can feel like they’re not valuing your time.
Being late sends a message that your own time is more important than theirs. And while everyone can be late once in a while due to unforeseen circumstances, making a habit of it can be frustrating to others.
So plan ahead, allow for possible delays, and if you’re running late, let the other person know as soon as possible.
8) Not keeping your word
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. And nothing can erode that trust faster than not keeping your word.
Whether it’s big promises or small commitments, when you say you’re going to do something, people expect you to follow through. Failing to do so can make people question your reliability and integrity.
And once you do, make it a point to follow through. It’s not just about avoiding disappointment – it’s about building trust and respect, which are key to any successful relationship.
At the heart of it all: Respect
If you don’t want to be instantly disliked, you’d do well to show others this one basic thing: respect.
This is what this all boils down to. Respect for others’ time, respect for their experiences, and respect for their individuality.
It’s about understanding that each person we interact with carries their own story, their own fears, and their own dreams.
American philosopher William James once said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Indeed, when we show respect, we show appreciation. We acknowledge the other person’s worth and validate their existence.
Let’s be mindful of our habits and strive to make others feel valued. This is a gesture that costs nothing and means everything.
