Kiran Athar
All of us have good and bad habits, but did you know that some of these habits can make people dislike you?
Most of the time, you may not even realize it, but our habits do affect those around us, in ways we might not have intended.
So, in this article, I’ll be covering 10 habits that make people dislike you, and how to break free from these negative patterns!
1) Always being late
A habit that will guarantee to get on the nerves of people around you is constantly being late…
Whether it’s meeting friends for lunch or getting to work on time, people may dislike you if they feel you don’t make enough effort to be punctual.
So, what can you do to be on time?
Try:
- Setting your clock five minutes early
- Preparing your things (clothes, bag, lunch, etc) the night before
- Setting alarms to alert you of the time and when to leave so you get to your destination early
And if you somehow still end up being late?
Make sure to call and let whoever you’re meeting know!
2) Constantly being negative
Another habit that makes people dislike you is constantly looking at the negative side of life.
Here’s the thing, it’s normal to be negative sometimes. We all have bad days. But if you’re constantly focussing on the worst-case scenarios, you might be putting people off from liking you!
Think of it this way – negativity is contagious. Without even realizing it, you could be dragging other people’s moods down.
So, the next time you feel yourself focusing on the negative, try to reframe your thoughts. Think of all the positives instead.
Practicing gratitude could also help you shift your mentality from moody and blue to grateful for all you have in life – this will naturally make you feel more positive!
3) Being fake
And just as people don’t like it when someone has the habit of always being negative, they also don’t like people who are insincere and fake!
Even if you only mean to impress people, it will backfire. Because the truth is, we can only pretend for so long before our true colors reveal themselves.
And being fake is often associated with being dishonest or sneaky.
So, stick to the old classic saying:
Just be yourself.
The bottom line is, not everyone is going to like you (the genuine you). And that’s okay! By being yourself, you’ll attract those who honestly like your personality, no matter how quirky it might be!
4) Being self-centered
Another habit that makes people dislike you is being self-centered.
Simply put:
Making everything about you!
If you want people to like you, your relationships have to have “give and take”. That means that both of you get to share your exciting news, both of you show an interest in the other, and it never feels one-sided.
Try this:
The next time you find yourself rambling on about the amazing weekend you just had, make a conscious effort to bring the conversation back around to the person you’re talking to.
Ask them questions, pay attention, and don’t interrupt them.
5) Getting into people’s business
But following on from the previous point, ask questions, but don’t go overboard. Especially if you don’t know the person very well.
You see, some people find it very intrusive if someone gets into their business or asks too many questions straight off the bat.
And this is another habit that can make people dislike you, even if you’re asking out of genuine concern or interest!
So, the best thing to do in this situation is to judge your audience appropriately.
If you’ve just met a girl who’s a complete chatterbox and appears open to talking about her life, go for it.
But if you’re at work and your new colleague seems to value their privacy, it’s best to give them time to open up rather than hounding them with 101 questions before their morning coffee!
6) Being a bad listener
Next up on our list of habits that make people dislike you is not listening properly.
That includes:
- Interrupting people while they’re speaking
- Not paying attention (looking at your phone, etc)
- Jumping to conclusions without asking questions to clarify what they mean
- Yawning or appearing uninterested
The truth is, when people feel heard and understood, they feel good. They don’t want to make friends with someone who doesn’t value their opinion.
If you’re guilty of doing any of the above, you should practice active listening.
This is where you focus all your attention on the person speaking, maintain eye contact, ask lots of questions, and avoid interrupting them.
By doing this, not only will people like you more, but they’ll feel more encouraged to come to you when they want a chat or need to get something off their chest!
7) Gossiping
Are you the type who enjoys partaking in the office gossip on Mondays to hear all about the crazy drama over the weekend?
Do you like discussing other people’s juicy news?
Look, we’re all prone to gossiping every now and then, but if you’re in the serious habit of it and you do it constantly, people will certainly dislike you!
For the simple reason that gossipers can’t be trusted.
So, if you want to turn that around, I’m afraid you might have to get your gossip fix from magazines instead of at work or with friends!
Make a point of staying away from other gossipers. When you do accidentally hear something about someone else, keep it to yourself.
It’s important to realize that even light-hearted gossiping can have negative consequences on people, and you don’t want to be associated with that!
8) Being inconsiderate
Another habit that makes people dislike you is not being thoughtful or caring of those around you.
This could be as small as walking through a door and not holding it for the person behind you, or as big as deciding to wear white to your best friend’s wedding.
The bottom line is:
Being inconsiderate tells people you don’t care. You’re not going to make an effort to accommodate their needs, likes, or desires. It links back to being self-centered.
So, if you do feel like you can be inconsiderate some or most of the time, here’s how to break out of this bad habit:
- Show empathy when interacting with others
- Put reminders on your phone if needed to remember special occasions
- If you see something that you know a friend would love, get it, even if it’s not their birthday or Christmas time
Even just little things like texting your friend after a big work meeting to see how it went can show people how much you care.
9) Being untidy
Do you leave a trail of mess behind you wherever you go?
If so, you’re not alone! But this habit could make people dislike you, especially if you work or live with them!
At the office, no one wants to see your empty coffee cups lying around or paper scattered all over your desk. Even if your desk is personal, if the rest of the office can see it, it doesn’t look very professional.
And in your personal life?
Well, family, housemates, etc, will certainly not enjoy picking up after you!
So, how can you turn this habit around?
Set aside just 10 minutes every day to clear away clutter. Whether that’s 10 minutes before you leave work to clear your desk, or at home to tidy up before you go to bed.
To make it fun, set yourself a challenge to clean as much as possible within that 10 minutes (you’ll be surprised at how much you can achieve), put on some music or a podcast and it’ll soon become routine!
10) Being loud
Being loud isn’t in itself a bad habit that will make people dislike you, but it can be depending on where you are!
If you work in a bar, I doubt anyone will have a problem with it.
But if you’re in a public place, say a library or restaurant, and you talk at the top of your lungs, you will naturally rub people up the wrong way!
You see when someone is constantly loud, it can make them seem like they’re trying to grab people’s attention.
The easiest way to get out of this habit is to simply practice. Ask a friend to help you by reminding you gently whenever you start going up in volume, and eventually you’ll tune into it yourself!
