The secret to confidence: 7 habits of self-assured people

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Do you ever look at confident people and wish you had the same level of self-assurance?

If so, you’re not alone! Feeling confident in yourself and your abilities is essential for achieving success in both your personal and professional life, something we all wish for.

But what exactly sets self-assured individuals apart from the rest? 

In this article, I’ll be diving into the 7 habits of self-assured people that can help you build confidence, increase self-assurance and take control of your life! 

Let’s jump straight in:

1) They learn from their past mistakes

I’m starting with a point we can all resonate with; past mistakes.

One of the most effective habits self-assured people have is learning from their past; they don’t simply make a mistake, brush it off and forget about it.

Instead, they take mental note of what happened, reflect on what role they played, and finally, they think about how they could do it better next time. 

It’s this process that actually increases confidence.

How so?

Well, rather than negative self-talk or refusing to try again, self-assured people see each mistake as a learning curve. They keep going. They don’t get put off.

And each time they try again, they get closer to achieving their goal! 

This is a great way to boost confidence and self-esteem.

So, get thinking; what past lessons in your own life can you learn from? What would you do differently if faced with a similar situation?

2) They set and achieve goals 

Talking about achieving goals, this is another common habit of self-assured people. 

Ask yourself this – how many times have you started something only to give up?

I know I have done this plenty of times. But once I learned the importance of seeing things through, I quickly changed my ways.

You see, the moment you start achieving goals, you begin to see how much potential you have.

And this is a great way to increase confidence.

But there’s a catch:

Your goals need to be realistic and achievable. Telling yourself you’re going to run 20k tomorrow morning (when you’ve never run in your life) is only setting yourself up for failure. 

Start small. Even if it’s something as simple as making sure you make your bed every morning, or walking the dog an extra mile each day, do it and do it without fail. 

Over time, as you begin to build this habit of setting and achieving goals, you’ll notice how much more self-assured and confident you become! 

3) They take risks 

Okay, before you head on out to take out a personal loan and start up the company of your dreams, let me make one thing clear:

Self-assured people take calculated risks. 

They don’t throw themselves to the wolves. They weigh up the risk vs reward, and they think critically before making a firm decision.

But, the bottom line is, you’ve gotta get comfortable taking some form of risk.

Self-assured people continuously push themselves out of their comfort zone for several reasons:

  • The more you encounter new, unfamiliar situations, the more you’ll have to solve challenges and think outside the box. With time you realize you can depend on yourself!
  • Similarly, you discover hidden abilities and talents when you’re pushed to the limit, which is great for boosting self-esteem.
  • By facing fears head-on and taking risks, you’re forced to overcome fear and anxiety. You develop resilience and increased self-assurance that you can handle anything!

So, like with my previous point, take it slow. Small challenges to start with, then increase to bigger risks and challenges. 

You never know what your mind and body are capable of until they’re forced to spring into action! 

But what if things go wrong?

4) They have a positive mindset toward failure 

That’s right, even if taking a risk doesn’t work out, self-assured people are in the habit of seeing their failures as something to celebrate. 

That’s not to say they get champagne every time they hit a roadblock, but they acknowledge that failure is part of the journey.

You see, very few people get to where they want to be in life without at least a few setbacks along the way.

But a self-assured person recognizes that each failure is an opportunity to learn from, and it makes them more resilient. 

And that’s not all…

When you do have a positive mindset toward failure, you’re able to face such setbacks without hurting your confidence. You begin to separate your ability and worth from the experience!

No more berating yourself for screwing something up. The next time you fail at something, try seeing it as a learning point, something that’ll bring you closer to achieving your goal in the long run!

This is also why confident people are generally practical people because they believe in themselves to learn from their mistakes and continue to take action.

If you’re wondering what other traits involve being a practical person, then check out our below video on 10 things practical people always do. 

5) They take responsibility for themselves

Now, one way that self-assured people rectify their failures and bounce back is by taking responsibility for themselves. 

The bottom line is, if you can’t take ownership of your decisions, you’ll never learn from your mistakes!

As you’ve seen, learning is an important habit of self-assured people. 

So, how does taking responsibility increase confidence?

Well, for one, you stop blaming others. You ditch the victim card. And you actively take control over your life and decisions. 

Secondly, when you own up to your failures and mistakes, you allow yourself to learn. Self-assured people are constantly investing in their self-development

And finally, by acknowledging where you went wrong (and then rectifying it) you begin to realize that you can rely on yourself to turn something negative into something positive.

All of the above do wonders in increasing confidence, self-esteem, and self-reliance! 

6) They focus on their strengths

Now, if you read the subheading and instantly thought, “Oh god, what strengths do I have?!”, don’t panic. 

You do have strengths, even if you aren’t aware of them yet!

Behind every self-assured person was once someone who questioned their abilities. But they made it a habit to look at what they’re good at, and give less importance to things they suck at.

Let me give you an example:

Oprah. Whether you like her or not, we can’t deny she’s incredibly successful.

She’s also pretty open about her weaknesses. She suffered a lot with body image and weight. 

But did she let that hold her back?

No, instead she focused on her ability to charm a crowd, strong interview skills, and charisma. This is what took her forward in her career when she could have avoided the limelight due to her insecurities. 

Now, I’m not saying you’ve gotta go as extreme as Oprah. But you can see how once you focus on your strengths, your weaknesses tend to fade into the background!

And when you do that, you’ll see how your confidence soars.

7) They know themselves intimately 

And finally, another habit that self-assured people do to increase confidence is investing in their relationship with themselves!

The truth is, the only way to cultivate true confidence is to get comfortable with who you are. When you start discovering yourself, you open up many channels for progress and development. 

But that’s not all…

You also increase something called self-awareness.

And having self-awareness leads to:

  • Understanding your values, beliefs, and motivations. This helps you to make decisions that align with your personal goals and priorities. When you’re true to yourself, you’re more likely to feel confident and self-assured in your choices and actions.
  • Knowing your strengths and weaknesses. This allows you to focus on developing and utilizing your strengths while working to improve upon your weaknesses. This can help you to feel more competent, which can increase self-assurance.
  • Understanding your own emotions and how they impact your behavior. This can help you to regulate your emotions, so you remain calm and composed in difficult situations.

But the bottom line is:

By strengthening your inner connection, you’ll start to feel more in control of your life and the decisions you make. 

You’ll begin to understand why you do things a certain way, and with time, how to cultivate healthier habits.

As a result, your confidence will increase! 

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a foodie, writer and traveler. She considers herself a citizen of the world, who gets her inspiration from the people she meets along her journeys. She's currently living in Spain, where she spends her time writing, watching the shepherds and eating tapas in the mountains of Andalucía.

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