Eliza Hartley
Feeling valued, cherished, and trusting others forms the bedrock of our emotional health. But what happens when that trust is broken? When someone close to us—be it a friend, family member, or partner—betrays us, it can feel like the ground is falling away beneath our feet.
Betrayal doesn’t just hurt; it can leave us reeling, questioning our judgment and shrouded in vulnerability.
Yet, some emerge from the ashes of such experiences stronger and more resilient than ever. What’s their secret? In this feature, we’ll dive into the nine powerful habits of those who not only survive betrayal but thrive beyond it, transforming pain into strength.
Are you ready to turn the page on betrayal and start a new chapter of resilience?
1) They Practice Self-Care
Self-care is not always about pampering yourself with spa days or indulgent treats. It’s often about ensuring your emotional, mental, and physical well-being are taken care of.
For those who stay strong despite betrayal, self-care is a key habit. It might mean setting aside time each day for activities they enjoy, whether that’s reading a book, going for a run, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in peace.
It’s about maintaining their physical health through regular exercise and a balanced diet. It’s about ensuring they’re getting enough sleep to rest and recharge their bodies and minds.
Studies emphasize the importance of comprehensive self-care routines in enhancing personal resilience and emotional well-being, particularly following traumatic experiences like betrayal.
2) They Embrace Acceptance
Acceptance isn’t about saying that what happened was okay, or that the pain isn’t real – it’s about acknowledging the reality of the situation.
Those who stay strong despite betrayal understand that denial or constant questioning only prolongs the pain. They recognize the importance of accepting what has happened in order to move forward.
This doesn’t mean they need to forget or forgive immediately, or at all. It simply means they are accepting the fact that they were betrayed and that it has affected them.
This acceptance allows them to start processing their emotions and begin healing, instead of getting stuck in a cycle of denial or blame. They understand that acceptance is a crucial step in regaining their strength and resilience.
3) They Seek Positive Connections
While it may seem like a natural reaction to withdraw and isolate oneself after experiencing betrayal, people who stay strong do the opposite.
Instead of retreating into their shells, they actively seek out positive, supportive connections in their lives. This might mean spending more time with friends or family, joining social clubs or groups, or even volunteering in their community.
Even though trust may be difficult to restore after a betrayal, these individuals understand the value of maintaining social bonds. They know that seclusion only amplifies feelings of loneliness and sadness.
4) They Allow Themselves to Feel
Betrayal hurts. It’s a deep wound that can leave you feeling broken and lost. And it’s okay to feel that way.
People who stay strong after betrayal don’t shy away from these feelings. They don’t put on a brave face and pretend everything is fine when it’s not. Instead, they allow themselves to feel the pain, the anger, the confusion, and all the other complex emotions that come with betrayal.
They understand that it’s only by fully experiencing these feelings that they can begin to heal. Suppressing emotions only leads to them resurfacing later, often with greater intensity.
5) They Practice Empathy
Despite the hurt and pain they’re going through, strong individuals practice empathy, even towards the person who betrayed them.
This isn’t about excusing the betrayer’s actions or dismissing their own feelings of hurt. It’s about trying to understand the other person’s perspective, which can be a powerful tool for healing.
Empathy allows them to see the situation from all angles, which can help them make sense of why the betrayal happened. It doesn’t justify the betrayal, but it can provide some much-needed context and understanding.
It’s a testament to their strength that they can show kindness and understanding in the face of betrayal.
6) They Give Themselves Time
There’s a popular saying, “time heals all wounds,” and while it might sound cliché, there’s a lot of truth in it.
People who stay strong after betrayal understand that healing isn’t an overnight process. They don’t rush themselves to get over the pain or force themselves to move on before they’re ready.
Just like it takes time for physical wounds to heal, emotional wounds also need time. Some days might be harder than others, and that’s okay. They allow themselves to have bad days, knowing that it’s part of the healing process.
By giving themselves time, they’re acknowledging their pain and giving themselves permission to heal at their own pace. This relatable trait is a testament to their strength and resilience in the face of betrayal.
7) They Find Joy in the Little Things
It’s easy to get consumed by the hurt of betrayal, but those who stay strong know the value of finding joy in the little things.
Perhaps it’s a beautiful sunset, a favorite song on the radio, or a delicious cup of coffee. Maybe it’s a good book, a silly joke, or an unexpected compliment.
They understand that life doesn’t stop because they’ve been betrayed. The world still has beauty and joy to offer, and they consciously make an effort to seek out and appreciate these moments.
By focusing on the positive aspects of everyday life, they are able to inject some light-heartedness into their healing journey. This helps them balance out the heavy emotions that come with betrayal and keep their spirits up as they move forward.
8) They Set Boundaries
This might be a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s an essential one. After experiencing betrayal, strong individuals understand the importance of setting boundaries.
Boundaries are crucial in all relationships, not just those where betrayal has occurred. They help define what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.
Whether it’s deciding to limit or cut off contact with the person who betrayed them, or setting emotional boundaries to protect their feelings, these individuals know that their well-being comes first.
9) They Believe in Their Strength
Above all, the most essential habit of those who stay strong after betrayal is believing in their own strength.
No matter how deep the hurt, they never lose faith in their ability to bounce back. They acknowledge their pain, but they also recognize their resilience. They’ve been knocked down, but they trust in their ability to get back up.
Believing in oneself is a powerful tool for recovery. It’s a reminder that they are more than the betrayal, that they have the strength to overcome it, and that they deserve better.
This belief fuels their healing process and motivates them to move forward. It’s the most important reminder that they carry with them on their journey towards healing:
Final Reflections
If you have experienced betrayal, you’re likely dealing with a whirlwind of emotions. The journey towards healing may seem daunting, but remember, strength and resilience are within you.
As Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned psychologist and research professor at the University of Houston, once said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
The nine habits we’ve outlined are not a fast track to recovery, but a guide to help you navigate through this challenging time. Remember, there is no set timeline for healing. It’s okay to take your time.
So whether you’re practicing self-care or setting boundaries, remember that every step you take is a victory in your journey towards healing.
