There are people who freak out over every little thing.
And then there are those who remain calm even when they’re fighting the hardest battle.
How do they do it?
Well, it’s all in the habits.
If you want to be a little more relaxed in life, incorporate these 10 habits of people who remain calm under pressure.
1) They prioritize their wellbeing
People who are calm value themselves—plain and simple.
They love themselves more than anything in the world—not in a selfish or irresponsible way…but like, in a way that each one of us should.
They put themselves first. And once they’re capable of functioning properly, that’s the time they’d consider helping others.
They make sure that they nurture their physical, mental, and spiritual health. They know that neglecting even one can affect everything else.
And because of this, they’re calmer (and much healthier) than the rest of us.
2) They remind themselves that they’re not alone
Those who feel like they have the world on their shoulders often do so because they try to do things on their own.
And of course, feeling and being all alone when there’s a crisis can make anyone incredibly stressed.
People who remain calm under pressure, on the other hand, know that they don’t have to do things all by themselves. They have colleagues that can help them, family that can support them, and friends that can cheer them on.
They’re surrounded by people who are rooting for them, especially during the toughest times.
Because of this, their burden becomes lighter and they’re able to remain calm no matter what storm they’re facing.
So remind yourself you’re not alone (because you truly aren’t). Simply knowing this fact can do wonders in keeping anxiety at bay.
3) They constantly try to let go of control
“You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you react.”
Calm people make it a daily habit to remind themselves of this nugget of wisdom.
Trying to control everything is simply impossible, and thinking you can achieve it is a surefire way to have a miserable life…and calm people don’t ever want a miserable life.
So when something bad happens—even if it’s as simple as being stuck in a traffic jam—they won’t complain like someone just stole all their savings in the bank. They’d simply let things be and even use it as an opportunity to practice letting go of control.
And when their partner is cheating, they won’t try to monitor their every move to make sure they won’t do it again. Instead, they’d let go. They’d think that if they’re really meant to be, their partner won’t do it again. But if they’re not meant to be, then they would…and that there’s absolutely nothing they can do to stop them.
Some of them achieve this by taking deep breaths, while some by repeating a mantra like “I let go of control” or “I will only control what I can.”
4) They ask themselves “Is this really important?”
Calm people don’t sweat the small stuff…and the thing is—almost everything is small stuff if you really think about it.
So when they get an emergency call from their boss, they’d pause and think “wait a minute, is this really an EMERGENCY? Chances are that they’re urgent but not a life-and-death situation.
They ask themselves this question every time they encounter a stressor, and when it’s clear to them that it’s not really that important, they’d take things easy.
So the next time you’re overwhelmed, I challenge you to step back and ask this question. It will likely calm you down even if things seem serious and scary on the surface.
5) They avoid catastrophizing
Calm people don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. They won’t go from one to 1,000 in a minute.
If their doctor tells them that they have a small bump on their tongue and that they’ll monitor it. Their minds won’t go to tongue cancer.
They won’t think of the worst possible scenario because they’re confident that it’s unlikely to happen.
Instead, they’d think “well, it’s probably just a sore that will go away in a week.”
For them, worrying is just unnecessary…and living in constant fear is not a good way to live.
They might as well save all their energy for when the time comes that they need to solve the problem, rather than worrying about the problem.
6) They tell themselves that everything is temporary
People who are calm often remind themselves that everything is temporary.
You see, when you are well aware that your time on earth is limited, you wouldn’t worry about every little thing. Problems and setbacks become smaller to you and instead, you’d focus on the good things that life has to offer.
Not only that, knowing that your troubles are also temporary can make you more resilient and patient of your current situation.
Just knowing there’s a finish line to your suffering can help you keep going.
So if you want to be a bit calmer, tell yourself again and again “this, too, shall pass.”
7) They self-soothe
Not everyone who’s calm is born calm.
Some of them may be extremely anxious when they’re younger but they’ve managed to find coping strategies to calm themselves down.
Calm people constantly soothe themselves by doing the things that can calm them down, especially during stressful situations.
Some might listen to metal music, some might hold their plushies, some might run for an hour.
If you’re always overwhelmed, here are some tried and tested ways to calm yourself down.
8) They tell themselves that they’re more than what they do
When we put our worth on what we do, it can be exhausting. We’d constantly worry if we’re good enough and we rely so much on the approval of others.
When someone gives bad feedback on our work, we won’t be able to sleep well at night because we think we are our work.
It’s hard not to take things personally.
And while it’s good to reflect on our “performance” from time to time, always wanting to be the best all of the time can make us anxious.
Calm people believe they have intrinsic value and that their work does not define them.
9) They try to find beauty and humor in every situation
Calm people unconsciously find beauty and humor in every situation.
When they’re stuck at work because they had to beat a deadline, they’d think “Oh sure I’m overworked now, but at least I’m with my office crush.”
Or when they have debilitating migraines during their wedding, they’d think “Well, at least I now have an excuse not to stay long at my wedding.”
They’re just born this way and they’re the kind of people we all should envy.
The good news is that you can also be like them if you work backwards. You can start training yourself to find humor and beauty in many things—and by this I mean forcing yourself until it slowly becomes a habit.
This will be challenging at first, especially if it’s not your personality. But if you really want to be a calmer person, you gotta learn how to add more humor in your life.
10) They have a lot of things going on
If we rely only on one thing, it will have control over us. We’ll become slaves to the people we rely on.
So for example, if we only have one source of income, naturally we’d panic when we’re not able to beat a deadline or if we did something that could sabotage our career.
If we only have one good friend, we’d panic when they start to get a bit distant.
But if we have multiple sources of income, we remain calm even if our boss threatens to fire us. Sure, we’d still try our best to perform well, but it won’t trigger an anxiety attack.
And if we have five close friends instead of one, we wouldn’t even notice that one friend got distant.
Calm people make sure that they are secure by spreading their eggs instead of just putting them in one basket. That way, when something bad happens to one, they’re still fine.
I’m sure we all want to remain calm under pressure. I mean, who WANTS to panic when things get rough? Absolutely no one.
It’s just that it’s really difficult to do especially if you have an anxious personality type.
The good thing is that you can train yourself to become one—slowly.
Try adding one habit at a time. Be very patient with yourself and just keep trying. Eventually, you’ll become the chillest person on the block.
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