6 habits of emotionally immature men who never move forward in life

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Truly emotionally mature men are a lot rarer than you think. 

The thing is though, to succeed in life (and I mean really succeed, not just in the financial sense) having a degree of emotional maturity is often a prerequisite. 

Once you develop emotional maturity, expect your relationships and interactions to flourish; expect life to generally become easier. 

But getting there is no walk in the park. 

It’s a pursuit that requires constant dedication and effort, self-awareness, and the sheer will to want to improve. 

First things first, you need to be aware of the signs. 

In this article, I’ll take you through the habits of emotionally immature men who never move forward in life. 

If these items sound familiar, take that as a cue to begin making adjustments. 

Let’s get to it!

1) They avoid responsibility

Emotionally immature men often have a pretty child-like mentality. 

They don’t fully own the fact that they are adults. They aren’t quite up to that task. 

Instead, they perpetuate immature behaviors like avoidance of responsibility and accountability for their regrettable actions and decisions. 

In essence, they’ll have their cake and eat it too; meaning, while they might regularly act out of line, they will also express a constant refusal to face the music.

Part of being a grown-up is dealing with consequences, to “man up,” rather than weaseling your way out of them. 

Blaming others for their problems, making lame, far-fetched excuses, and procrastinating on important tasks… All common practices for emotionally mature men. 

2) They have poor emotional regulation

Emotionally mature men tend to be calm, collected, and composed in the face of the inevitable stress and anxiety that comes with life.

They don’t break down and panic, running to their parents whenever things go awry. They process, absorb, and respond rationally. 

This is quite the contrast to the habits of an emotionally immature man, who tends to have a tough time managing and controlling his, well, emotions. 

When dealing with conflict or stress, he will often overreact, or behave inappropriately, occasionally even having a full-on, unhinged meltdown. 

His impulsive reactions constantly exacerbate the gravity of the situations he finds himself in. 

3) They often lack empathy

When it comes to living, emotionally mature men tend to act like seasoned veterans. 

They’ve seen and experienced a lot, thus naturally, they tend to have a greater, more well-rounded sense of compassion and empathy for others. 

Emotionally immature men, on the other hand, might struggle with empathy.

They don’t often venture out of their bubble; a lack of exposure that comes with a diverse set of limitations. 

They might have a difficult time genuinely understanding and caring about the feelings and needs of other people–something that comes across as selfish and insensitive, and for good reason.

It’s hardly surprising that their personal and professional relationships tend to become damaged over time. 

Sometimes, when you’ve grown up a certain way, feeling empathy for those outside your periphery doesn’t come naturally. 

Sadly, there was a point in time when I used to be pretty indifferent about the suffering of animals. 

Hearing about the injustices against them, say on the news or the internet, wouldn’t affect me much. 

In my mid-twenties, I started dating a woman who had a dog. His name was Hunter.  

As I got closer to this woman, I also got closer to Hunter, despite the initial hesitancy on my part. 

Eventually, I came to love the dog–something that, if you know me, was totally out of character. 

This was sort of a profound moment in time for me. 

I learned what it meant to love and care for an animal–a process that broke down the mental and emotional biases (and apathy) I had for them. 

Ever since I came to know that mutt, who has tragically passed, I’ve felt deeply empathetic for not just all dogs, but all sentient creatures in suffering.

Moral of the story? 

Sometimes, as humans, we need to step outside our comfort zones to cultivate empathy. 

And once we do, there is no turning back–and we’re better off for it. 

4) They have a fear of commitment

Men who grew up with stability in the form of firm parenting, or role models, typically grow up with a certain level of maturity–and hence also tend to have minimal issues with commitment.

Emotionally immature men, however, might fear or avoid commitment as it represents both a challenge to their autonomy and something that requires constant effort… effort that they are unwilling to make. 

In this sense, they can be pretty selfish. 

They live almost exclusively for themselves. 

Having to compromise for another person is not a prospect they openly welcome. 

Maybe they’ll end up in a relationship, or a new career, or chasing a new goal, but they’ll do so half-assed, with a foot out the door. 

The sacrifices that come with these pursuits are at odds with their sense of freedom. 

5) They have communication issues 

To be able and willing to engage in effective communication takes maturity and wisdom. 

Trust me, getting off the couch and taking the time to talk through problems isn’t as easy as it sounds, particularly when you’re not used to it. 

It can be uncomfortable. It can also be tough, painful, and awkward. 

The very notion of having to deal with these feelings is enough motivation for many immature people to refuse. 

So instead of talking, they shut down. Only to regret it later.  

This often means prolonged conflicts, damaged relationships, and even their own needs being neglected, as they prefer to keep things swept under the rug rather than airing them out. 

6) They seek instant gratification

Emotionally immature men often don’t see the bigger picture in life.  

Instead, they almost always pursue things that give them immediate pleasure or relief, sacrificing long-term gains in the process. 

This mentality, if left unchecked, can mean making reckless financial decisions, substance abuse and addiction, and always seeking the easy way out instead of chasing worthwhile goals. 

Having long-term goals is almost a foreign concept to emotionally immature men, as giving in to their most visceral impulses becomes far more of a priority. 

Maybe they’ll submit to their urge to get blackout drunk with friends despite having a big work presentation the next day. 

Or maybe they’ll purchase a business-class ticket to Paris despite being heavily in debt. 

Trust me, these things add up. 

The bottom line: emotionally immature men tend to live in the moment, rather than taking the time to consider the future. Not good. 

Final thoughts 

If you have an emotionally immature man in your life, seek comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. 

Far from it. 

And the truth is, it’s never really too late to change. 

But sometimes, a bit of clarity is needed–something many men out there don’t have the privilege of getting. 

So sit him down, and gently air out your concerns. 

Chances are, with enough persistence, you’ll get through to him. 

If you both take it one step at a time, without getting discouraged by the occasional setback, change, and improvement, will be all but guaranteed. 

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Hack Spirit! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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