Our habits often affect our mindsets.
If we get into the habit of comparing ourselves or thinking we aren’t good enough, it can negatively impact our self-esteem.
Alternatively, if we get into the habit of accepting others and our own abilities, we’d make progress in becoming more confident people.
That’s why starting with a change in habit can go a long way.
It’s simple, but it isn’t easy.
With the list below, trying to practice them all at once might be difficult. Starting with one a month instead might be easier and more effective for you.
So here are 12 habits you can adapt into your life to help you become a confident person.
1. Focus on What You Can Control
Everything in our lives can be split into two categories: things we have control over, and things we don’t.
Confidence can often be linked to recognizing the two in our daily lives.
We feel more confident about situations we know we can do something about.
So when you encounter, say, another stressful situation in your life, you could ask yourself this question: Could you do something about this?
If you can, then there’s no need for you to worry.
You have the power to do something about it.
But if you can’t, worrying about it won’t do anything for you except drain your mental and emotional energy.
2. Accept Yourself
Sometimes, it isn’t enough to simply know what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.
Though you might know your strengths, you could also be harboring resentment for yourself or feeling insecure about your lack of ability with your weakness.
This insecurity can negatively affect your confidence.
That’s why it’s also important to accept yourself.
Forgive yourself for having your flaws. Remember: nobody’s perfect; we all have our own shortcomings.
Confidence is about accepting that, and knowing where to focus your energy.
Confident people tend to have little to feel ashamed about; they’re proud of who they are.
3. Keep Expanding Your Comfort Zone
You grow as a person when you’re doing things that test your limits.
When faced with a difficult task, the insecure tend to retreat into their comfort zone.
But confident people are up to the challenge.
This isn’t to say confident people are fearless. They can still be afraid of failing. What sets them apart is acting despite the fear of failure.
Think of the times when you started doing something for the first time, be it your awkward golf swing or struggling vocals in your first singing lesson.
You’ll never become better at anything without being bad at it first.
That’s why it’s important to try taking steps to venture beyond your comfort zone.
4. Don’t Let Failure Go to Waste
When you make a mistake, it’s actually a golden opportunity to learn a valuable lesson; it’s an experience that teaches you what not to do.
If you said something offensive to someone which you didn’t realize was offensive, at least now you know what not to say.
But this mistake goes to waste if you don’t even try to change your behavior.
The only true failure is not giving yourself the chance to learn from what went wrong or what you could’ve done better.
So don’t run away from your mistakes; learn from them.
5. Express Confidence Through Your Body
The body can often play a role in our mindset.
Research has shown that sitting up straight has a link to one’s confidence levels.
In the same study, those that were slouched were less likely to believe in themselves and their abilities.
Research has also suggested “power posing”, where one stretches themselves out to appear taller and wider, has a link to one’s confidence levels.
So the next time you have a presentation to give or an important discussion you want to have, you can try using your body movements to help give you the confidence you need.
6. Listen Closely and Pay Attention
Sometimes, a lack of confidence can result from not knowing what you do.
If your boss was telling you to do something but your mind was somewhere else, it’s easy to feel apprehensive on what to do since you literally don’t know.
So try active listening.
When someone is talking to you, try to really focus on what they’re saying.
Be present, make eye contact, and try to internalize their message.
That will help you give the confidence you need to do what they ask or know the best way to respond.
7. Give Yourself Permission to be Vulnerable
You are going to have your off days, and that’s okay.
You don’t have to hide it.
People tend to think that running away from their problems might help solve it, but that isn’t the case.
So confident people confront their problems to figure out why they feel that way.
Being vulnerable with others can also be seen as a sign of strength.
Not many people can show such emotion and bear their hearts to others.
So opening up to someone close to you shows how much courage and confidence you really have.
8. Reach Out to Others
We might think that confident people can do everything on their own, but that isn’t true.
There are going to be projects or tasks that they just can’t tackle by themselves.
So they have the confidence to reach out for help.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Instead, it could even show your humility, that you’re willing to say you aren’t capable enough to do something.
There are people that love you that are willing to provide a helping hand.
You might even find that there are people struggling with the same problems you have, which could be a comforting feeling knowing you’re not the only one.
9. Learn to Say No
It’s easy to agree to an invitation from our friend because we don’t want to let them down.
The problem with that is that the more you do it, the more of a people pleaser you become; you stop prioritizing your own life in favor of someone else’s.
Saying No also helps you become a more honest person.
By going along with your friend’s invitation, you deceive your friend into thinking you enjoy their company.
While you might genuinely do, it’s also important to be clear with your own boundaries.
10. Stay in Your Own Lane
Social media has made it so much easier to compare our lives with others.
But the truth is that this self-comparison will only be a blow to your self-esteem.
We all have our own goals, quirks, and strengths.
Life doesn’t have to always be about a one-upping person.
If you were to compare yourself to someone, let it be who you were yesterday, last week, and last month.
This could be more productive since you’re actively trying to see your progress as a person.
11. Dare to be Wrong
People who lack confidence often don’t take risks, which could mean they rarely give themselves the chance to learn something new and grow.
Growth doesn’t always happen when you get something right, but when you get something wrong.
If you’re an artist, there’s no guarantee that the art you make will be received well. Some might hate it while others might love it.
As an artist, the only thing you can focus on is making the best work you can.
What others think is out of your control.
If it isn’t received well, that’s how you know what to improve on and become better.
12. Give Genuine Compliments
Feeling insecure could make you begin to feel envious of people you know if they tend to keep achieving the goals you wanted to achieve.
Sure, you might put on a smile when you’re around each other, but inside you might be feeling irritated at them.
This isn’t something that confident people tend to do.
They focus on their own efforts and genuinely congratulate others for what they’ve done.
They realize that others are on a different path than them, so there’s little point in comparing themselves.
That’s why they can give genuine compliments to people.
Genuine compliments are more than about what another person looks like, but about their behavior or personality.
It’s deeper and shows that you’re confident enough to acknowledge someone’s efforts without feeling jealous.
Confident Through Your Environment
A big part of building habits, according to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, has to do with your surroundings.
You’re more likely to build a habit if your environment enables you to do it. You don’t have to rely on your willpower all the time.
For instance, if you want to stop comparing yourself to others online, you could set a timer for the social media apps you use on your phone.
That way you won’t be tempted to be scrolling for too long. Another would be if you want to get into the habit of learning to say No to different commitments, you could set up an auto-reply feature on your email that makes it more difficult for you to be reached.
Being more confident doesn’t happen overnight. But with patience, you’ll become one in no time.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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