10 surprising signs you’re growing into the person you’re meant to be (even if it feels uncomfortable)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

What if I told you that feeling uncomfortable might actually be a sign that you’re on the right track?

That’s right, contrary to what we’ve been taught to believe, discomfort can be a signal that you’re growing into the person you’re meant to be.

In fact, there are some surprising signs that indicate you’re on the right path, even if you don’t feel good in the moment.

You see, we all have an idea of who we want to be, but often that vision is clouded by societal expectations or our own fears and insecurities.

As we navigate through life, we may find ourselves in situations that challenge our beliefs or push us out of our comfort zone.

It’s in these moments that we have the opportunity to grow and become the person we’re truly meant to be.

So, what are these signs that we’re on the right track, even if it feels uncomfortable?

Here are 10 surprising signs you’re growing into the person you were meant to be. 

1) You Outgrew Old Dreams

Self-awareness is one of the universal markers of inner growth.

As we grow up, we often realize that what we’re supposed to pursue might not be the same thing as what we really want.

We eventually outgrow some of our dreams, plans, and desires more often than we expect – even if we’re not conscious of what’s happening.

Outgrowing our old dreams might make it seem like we’ve lost our potential or missed an opportunity.

But in reality, we simply let go of old dreams because they were originally meant for the person we no longer are.

When I was a kid, I used to picture myself becoming a scientist and working in a laboratory.

But now that I’m older, I realized that I only had those dreams and aspirations because it’s what the people around me wanted for me.

As I lived my life, I found out that writing is what I’m passionate about – it’s something I enjoy and picture myself doing in the future.

2) You’re Done With Surface-Level Happiness

Wearing stylish clothes and owning expensive gadgets used to give you a lot of confidence.

But now, you’re more concerned about feeling good instead of just looking good.

Instead of having a cool weekend and spending your nights partying in a bar, you want to have a quiet but fulfilling and relaxing weekend at home while reading a book.

Instead of seeking approval from others, you’re more interested in discovering yourself and practicing self-love.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not concerned with social media anymore.

You might still like tweeting or posting stories online, but you understand that it’s only a small part of your life – not something big enough to depend your entire existence on.

You might still want to dress up, but you do it because you like looking good and putting in the effort, and not because you’re trying to win impossible standards set by others.

Superficial happiness isn’t enough for you anymore because life is starting to have more depth and substance.

Like other people in the process of growing up, you start to realize that existing on the surface won’t be fulfilling so you try to find a deeper meaning to your life.

3) You Keep Asking Reasons Why

When we grow up, we start questioning why things happen instead of accepting them as they are.

We wonder why people react in certain ways or why they hold onto certain beliefs. We ask why relationships end – how it all unfolded and what kind of role we played in it.

People get triggered by certain things.

We want to understand how they think and respond so we can build better relationships and navigate through life smoothly.

Our desire to understand why things happen the way they do is one of the important entryways to changing our lives.

When we start asking the right questions, we also start seeing how many people live their lives on auto-pilot.

We want to be different from them by finding our purpose and making the most out of our existence.

4) You Feel Embarrassment Over Past Choices

We were all young and immature once, so it’s understandable that we did things we’re not proud of.

Nobody has to feel embarrassed about their past, but some people do – especially when they went through a more intense growth period than others.

Looking back on our past – including what we did, said, or wore – can make us cringe.

As embarrassing as it is to remember those times, our feelings are actually a sign that we’re growing.

We start to understand that all those choices came from a place of insecurity, unconscious beliefs, or a desire to fit in.

Although it might be uncomfortable to look back at your past self at first, being able to do so is a huge step towards realizing that you’re a different person from before – and that’s a sign of real growth.

5) You Lost Contact With Lots of People

Aside from outgrowing your dreams, losing contact with someone is also one of the biggest signs that you’re changing.

Your social circle might no longer fit you because all of you already grew apart.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong with you or them – it just simply means that you don’t enjoy the same things or have anything in common anymore.

You’re changing so the people you get along with change too.

But as much as losing a close relationship can be upsetting or even devastating, it can also shake you awake and put you on a journey of self-discovery.

One important thing to always remember is that people come in and out of your life, even if you don’t always want them to.

It’s okay to be sad and grieve when they leave, but everything happens for a reason and you need to learn how to trust the process.

After all, you can always meet new people that are friendlier and more like-minded.

6) You’re Concerned About Quality Over Quantity

A fast-paced lifestyle without much substance isn’t enough for you anymore.

Whether it’s about friends, work, or life experiences, you think it’s better to have a few meaningful people or memories you keep close to the heart.

You might be more interested in having a tight-knit circle of friends instead of dozens of acquaintances you only see now and then.

You’re more drawn to a few projects to focus on instead of filling your days with tons of work that don’t have an impact on your life.

You prefer taking a trip or two every year to have memorable experiences instead of always being on the go, but not really present at every moment.

Rather than owning lots of things, you realize that all you need to keep is a few good ones.

Anything beyond what you actually need – or only momentarily want – can spread you too thin and might not be enjoyable for you.

7) You Learn to Let Things Flow

One of the most important things we learn as we grow is to let go of control.

Having power over some things can make us feel safe and secure, but things don’t always go as planned and people don’t always behave the way we want them to.

Letting go of control is daunting at first, but only when we learn to do it can we move on and have space for more important things in life.

Once you let things flow the way they’re supposed to, you can experience progress and feel a lot happier than before.

We can’t always control the words, reactions, beliefs, and opinions of the people around us.

It can hurt to find out someone isn’t on our side when they’re close to us, but understanding that their behavior is out of our responsibility is a huge sign of growth.

As we grow, we slowly learn that we’re valuable regardless of what other people say or do.

Once we realize our worth, we stop running ourselves ragged or vying for their approval.

8) You Understand Other Points of View

With our desire to find deeper meaning in life also comes the passion to learn new things.

Curiosity makes us grow so we also open up to the viewpoints of other people – we try to understand where they’re coming from instead of simply shutting them out for having different perspectives.

Our point of view is always different from other people’s.

Most of us have preconceived judgments of others, which can often lead to misunderstandings.

We jump to conclusions quickly because we don’t understand the way they think – we never really understand a person until we walk the world in their shoes.

When we see through the eyes of others, we also start to understand their own unique experiences, backgrounds, and circumstances.

We don’t always have to agree with others to know them – opinions aren’t always black and white, so understanding their beliefs give us a more diverse view of how people process information and experience life.

9) You Look For Ways to Rediscover Yourself

As we grow up, it’s normal for some of us to find less time for our hobbies.

Your time for music, art, and other creative endeavors diminishes as you find yourself getting more concerned about your life and career.

But there also comes a time when you start rediscovering these things.

You might find that the old songs you listened to make you feel certain emotions again.

You also start redesigning the small details of your life with more care than before.

This all means that you’re coming home and rediscovering the essence of your true self.

When I was in high school, I used to enjoy reading novels – I could even finish a thick book in 3 days between my classes and homework.

But as I got busier with my studies and work, I had less time to pick up a book and read a few pages.

Now that I’m older, I’m trying my best to rediscover my love for books – I might not have the time to finish a book in one sitting anymore, but I still enjoy every page and chapter.

10) You Enjoy Doing Things Alone

With a smaller circle of friends and a desire to rediscover yourself more, it’s not surprising to find yourself enjoying some things alone – and it’s not a bad thing.

It simply means you’re comfortable enough in your own skin to keep yourself company.

You don’t depend on other people to make you happy because you know yourself well enough to do things you genuinely enjoy.

Many people read this sign of growth wrong because being alone makes them think they have no support, but it actually means the opposite – it means you’re capable enough to do things on your own and still have fun.

Being independent also means gaining more confidence and taking matters into your own hands.

Whether it’s playing computer games on your own, taking yourself to a nice dinner, or seeing a new movie on your day off, don’t be afraid to enjoy doing things alone – savor the moment and be happy with your own company because being alone is never a bad thing.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Justin Brown

Justin Brown is an entrepreneur and thought leader in personal development and digital media, with a foundation in education from The London School of Economics and The Australian National University. As the co-founder of Ideapod, The Vessel, and a director at Brown Brothers Media, Justin has spearheaded platforms that significantly contribute to personal and collective growth. His deep insights are shared on his YouTube channel, JustinBrownVids, offering a rich blend of guidance on living a meaningful and purposeful life.

The power of self-reflection: 15 questions to ask yourself daily

10 signs that material wealth doesn’t define you as a person