Whenever you go out on a first date with someone the butterflies are going to stir up in your stomach and you are going to worry about all kinds of things.
If you plan it right, conversation doesn’t have to be one of those things. Sometimes finding something smart or timely to say can be hard, even for the most experienced daters of us.
But, because we’ve all been there and we know that getting tongue-tied is not that hard when you are on a first date, here are 40 questions you can use to guide your conversation.
Mix and match and pull them out as you need to so you can learn about your date and have a great conversation too!
40 first date questions to ignite the spark
- Where did you go to school?
- Where do you call home?
- When was the last time you traveled?
- Where did you go?
- What was the best part of highschool?
- How long have been living in the area?
- Did you go to college?
- What is your favorite movie?
- What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
- Have you ever gone to the movies on your own?
- What part of town do you live in?
- What do you do for fun?
- What’s the best show on television right now?
- Do you like reading?
- What’s your favorite band?
- Have you ever dropped a class?
- Are you traveling soon?
- What do you like about your boss?
- Have you ever thought of starting a business?
- What is your favorite food?
- Did you have a nickname when you were a kid?
- Do you have any pets?
- Are you close with your family?
- If you could spend a day with anyone, who would it be?
- What’s one thing that drives you crazy about people?
- Do you like coffee or tea?
- Have you ever been to Disney World?
- If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
- Trump or Bust?
- What’s something on your bucketlist?
- When was the last time you checked something off your bucketlist?
- Do you prefer mornings or evenings?
- Do you like to cook?
- What’s the worst job you ever had?
- Do you like parties or small gatherings?
- Do you take work home with you?
- What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?
- What’s your work look like this week?
- Did you enjoy your meal?
- When is your birthday?
How to use these questions for maximum effect
The trick to creating engaging conversation is to get a good give-and-take momentum going.
Ask questions, let your date ask you questions, and try to be as honest as possible. You don’t need to give away the farm, but if your date asks you questions like these and you’d like the answers in return, be sure to answer them as best you can.
In fact, think of how you might answer these questions yourself before you pose them to someone else. Don’t ask any questions you wouldn’t want to answer.
Be sure to ask probing questions to learn more about a particular area of someone’s life.
For example, you can bundle these questions together and learn more about your date. Start with questions such as, “how long have you lived here” and add on, “where did you live before”, and then try, “which one do you prefer?” And your conversation will flow naturally from there.
While you shouldn’t expect to learn everything about one another in one night, it is a good chance to get to know someone better.
And if you have more questions, it’s a great way to prompt them for another date. Saying things like, “I’d love to learn more about your job or hobbies” and then ask for a second date.
It doesn’t have to be complicated and we humans are really good at making things complicated. So keep it simple.
When you head out on a date, be sure to pace yourself. Don’t bombard your date with 40 questions right off the top!
If it’s a good date, you’ll likely get to more than 40 questions naturally, but don’t force it.
If the conversation isn’t flowing, it’s no one’s fault. You just might need some time to get to know each other’s rhythms and the best way to do that is talk, talk and talk some more.