In this article you’ll learn everything you need to know female hypergamy.
What it is.
How it works.
(And most of important of all) how to use it to your advantage.
Let’s dive right in.
What is female hypergamy?
In simple terms, female hypergamy is a woman’s inclination to marry the best man she can find.
This stems from an inherent biological motivation to get pregnant with the best genes possible.
Pregnancy is a huge investment of time and resources for a woman, so naturally she wants the best outcome she can get.
This is also why men are naturally polygamous and have a high sexual appetite.
Biologically it makes sense to spread their seed as they can have many different kids with different women.
It actually has huge consequences.
According to a study, more women than men have contributed to the gene pool of humanity since the first modern humans walked out of Africa around 70,000 years ago.
“Imagine a population of 100 females and 100 males,” said Mark Stoneking, who led the study at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology. “If all the females but only one of the males reproduced, then while the males and females contribute 50:50 to the next generation, the male contribution is all from just one male.”
So, women are all gold diggers, right?
Kind of, but not necessarily. The fact that women are naturally hypergamous means that it’s in her biology to look for a man that she “looks up to” in some way.
As Hawaiian Libertarian explains in his recent post Defining Hypergamy:
“Hypergamy simply means women’s base sexual nature is attracted to a higher status in relation to herself. In other words, if she does not “look up” to a man in some way, she will not be attracted to that man. The higher status can be on one or more characteristics…which is why the unemployed musician can often date a woman who has job and disposable income. She may make more money…but she “looks up” to his musical talents, and he may be physically good looking to boot, despite not having a job, money or a car and so therefore her hypergamous attraction instincts are satisfied in mating with him, despite her higher socio-economic status.”
Here’s the brutal truth about dating:
Not all men are born with good looks. And not all men are wealthy.
The goods news?
Because of female hypergamy, it gives guys without good looks or wealth a chance.
Looks and wealth are certainly a factor, but they are far from the most important factor.
There are other ways we can use female hypergamy to our advantage.
Here are some qualities that women find attractive in men. You can work on these traits to give yourself a chance to meet the woman of your dreams.
There’s no getting around it:
Women love men that are leaders and take initiative.
They want a guy who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to go and get it.
After all, women want to feel protected. And there’s no better protection than a guy who leads.
So, how can you take more initiative?
First, work out what you want to do with your life. Then formulate a plan to go and get it.
The fact that you’re actively working towards a goal is attractive to a woman.
And they’ll love nothing more than to join you on your journey.
However, the most important thing to keep in mind when attracting the beauty of your dreams:
Women love a man that has the ability to follow-through on what he says he’ll do.
If you tell her you’ll call, and then you don’t….You’ll lose credibility and trust in an instant.
The bottom line is this:
To be a leader, you need to do what you’ll say you’ll do and follow through with your actions.
2) A sense of humor
Knowing how to make a woman laugh is the one best skills you can develop.
And this doesn’t just involve witty jokes and funny stories. It’s having fun, laughing and enjoying yourself. It’s about not taking yourself too seriously.
Harboring a light hearted attitude makes women feel at ease around you. And it helps them have fun.
Without feeling comfortable, it’s hard for a woman to feel attracted towards you.
3) Passion and ambition
Women love a man with passion and purpose in life.
Why do you think women love musicians? Passion.
You don’t need to be a famous sports star or musician, though. You just need to have some sort of purpose.
What are you working towards? Having a goal that’s bigger than yourself is extremely attractive to any lady.
4) Be well-dressed
A simple tip, but one that many men don’t follow.
The fact of the matter is this:
Women are attracted to success. And what easier way to look successful than to dress well?
It shows you look after yourself and you don’t need someone else to take care of you.
You’ve got your shit together.
Women look up to a man who has confidence. It has female hypergamy written all over it.
However, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Keep this in mind:
Arrogance is trying to impress others and needing validation.
Confidence is knowing who you are, what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.
It’s about being honest with yourself.
We all have insecurities, so a man that can accept his insecurities and move on with his actions is incredibly attractive to a woman.
6) Be a good listener
A woman wants to be respected and listened to. She wants her opinions valued.
And if you’re not listening intently to every word she’s saying, you’ll come across as boring, cold and heartless.
Think about what she’s saying. Ask questions. Because too many guys talk about themselves and forget to listen to others, so it’s an easy way to separate yourself from the pack.
Woman look up to a man who respects her and makes her feel comfortable.
7) Kindness and empathy
There’s no getting around it:
A woman wants to be protected by a guy. And if you can’t understand what she’s going through and be kind to others, how will she feel comfortable in your arms?
So be kind to others. Show compassion. Be there for her.
It’s pretty simple, but a lot of people get lost in their own problems and forget about other people.
Showing that you’re compassionate, empathetic and kind is a huge turn on to a lot of women.
A quick message from Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit
In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirits articles. To make a donation, click the "donate" button below and choose between a single donation or monthly.
Check out Hack Spirit's eBook: The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment.
- Learn what 'mindfulness' really is and the scientific benefits to practicing it daily
- Learn exercises to be mindful throughout the day (even at work)
- Understand how to meditate daily to enhance peace and clarity of mind
- Understand and implement the 7 key steps to practicing mindfulness