Feeling lonely? Here are 10 things you can try to ease the pain

Loneliness is a powerful emotion that can bring out the worst in us.

But all is not lost.

Like any other battles you’ve encountered in your life, there’s no reason why you can’t win against this one.

Here are some tips for dealing with loneliness in the healthiest ways possible:

1) Remember That Loneliness Is Not Equal To Being Alone

Loneliness can become paralyzing. It can make you doubt who you are as a person and question your existing relationships with people.

In reality, loneliness isn’t something that comes as a response to stimuli. Unlike happiness, excitement, and anger, loneliness often appears as collateral damage: having a bad memory, seeing an old friend, remembering a lost loved one.

These things can trigger loneliness, and make it feel like the biggest, most immediate thing in the world.

But like other feelings, loneliness isn’t necessarily a life-changer. There are many ways to combat loneliness, and the very first step is to remind yourself that this, too, can change. Just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you are alone in the world.

2) Actively Try To Reach Out And Socialize

Loneliness can easily evolve into self-hatred. When you’re feeling lonely, you inevitably begin questioning the people around you. Do my friends even like me? Do I really fit in?

These moments of self-doubt can easily spiral into anxiety and insecurity, which only makes you want to hide from the world.

To prevent this, provide avenues for self-assurance through friendly interactions. Remind yourself that people do like you and appreciate who you are.

3) Strive To Fight Self-Deprecating Habits

Aside from rekindling old relationships, it’s important that you catch yourself in moments of self-doubt. Loneliness creates a kind of negative self-assurance that makes our brains see the worst in everything. Oh, my friend missed my message; he must hate me now.

These impulses must be monitored and controlled to prevent the loneliness from creeping into resentment and anger towards good friends and family.

Strive to engage in healthy interactions with loved ones. Or go to a cafe and strike a conversation with your friendly barista. Invite your friends for dinner. Visit your family for a weekend. Engaging in productive, healthy activities can help remind you of the good things in life.

4) Support Others Around You

We become so entrenched in our own misery that we forget about others. Loneliness can create a feeling of confinement that alienates us from the rest of the world.

Feelings of isolation and alienation are not uncommon, both of which can be detrimental not only to the self but the relationships we have cultivated.

Loneliness can often be described as isolated misery. Hearing other people’s stories changes this. By putting our focus on other people’s feelings, we realize that our problems are not uncommon. We often feel lonely because we believe that we are alone in our problems. An intimate conversation with someone you care about will prove otherwise.

5) Join A Group

Moving away from loneliness means moving away from negativity. And if your circle of friends is contributing that, there’s no shame in looking for support elsewhere.

Instead of swiping right and left on random strangers, take interest in a group that has the same hobbies as you.

Yoga, crafting, and reading groups are among the most meditative communities you can join. With the common interest already plainly laid out, it becomes easier for you to interact with people and possibly find new friends.

For this to happen, you actually have to participate. Show up to the weekly meetings. Engage in conversation during dinner. It’s not enough that you’re in it; you have to make sure you’re actually there with them.

6) Have Realistic Expectations

When we meet with friends or join new groups, establishing realistic expectations is a healthy way to keep yourself guarded.

Hanging out with new friends is exciting, but it’s not realistic for everyone to pour their hearts to you (and vice versa) after just a couple of meetings.

Loneliness can often trick our brains into antagonizing other people. A preoccupied friend becomes self-centered.

An unavailable loved one becomes unsupportive. It’s important that we remind ourselves that these interactions, though designed to help you escape loneliness, shouldn’t be an avenue for self-pity.

7) Nurture Yourself

Take this loneliness as call to action for self-exploration. Instead of wallowing in sadness and grief, try revelling in your isolation. Read a good book. Bake something you’ve never tried before. Go on a solo trip.

Loneliness isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s just the spirit’s way of trying to escape the everyday mundanity of things or the toxic relationships around us.

Instead of turning away from loneliness, consider the possibility that the solution may not be to escape the self, but to go deeper within.

Lachlan Brown