Roselle Umlas
Have you ever had the pleasure of meeting someone for the first time and feeling at home with them right away?
Chances are, you’ve met an emotionally intelligent person. When it comes to human interactions or social situations, it’s the ones with emotional intelligence who’ll make you feel absolutely welcome.
People high in EI have a knack for making strong, immediate connections. How do they do it?
That’s exactly what I’ll be sharing today. Here are 9 things emotionally intelligent people typically do when they first meet someone:
1) They display open body language
The first thing you’ll notice upon meeting an emotionally intelligent person is how open they seem. And I mean that in the physical sense.
Everything about them seems welcoming – a friendly and genuine smile, a firm handshake, uncrossed arms, and a relaxed posture that invites conversation.
When speaking, they’ll use open hand gestures and look you in the eye with just the right amount of eye contact – not too much, not too little.
Basically, in the first seven seconds of meeting them, you’ll form a positive impression that makes you feel that this is a person you can trust. Someone you can feel relaxed with.
That should tell you how powerful body language is.
Without even saying anything yet, we can make a person feel comfortable just through our posture and facial expressions!
2) They learn people’s names – and remember them!
I once went to a party where I didn’t know anyone except for the host, a dear friend of mine.
Naturally, I felt awkward at first, especially when seated at the dinner table with a bunch of strangers.
Thankfully, the lady on my right took the initiative of introducing herself and striking up a conversation with me.
Throughout the night, I noticed how she’d use my name every now and then. There was none of that, “I’m sorry, what’s your name again?”
That was a real display of emotional intelligence.
Emotionally intelligent people know how important it is to be recognized and seen – and calling people by name is the most basic form of that!
It goes back to our desire to be thought of. When someone we meet for the first time makes the effort to learn and remember our name, it sends the message that we matter.
This brings me to the next point…
3) They show real interest in other people
Some people, once the introductions are over, would simply turn to the people they already know and focus on that.
And then you end up staring into dead space and feeling dismissed.
But not emotionally intelligent people. When they meet someone new (and actually, even with people they already know), they’ve got real curiosity.
They truly want to get to know the other person.
So, they’d ask meaningful questions. They’ll be active listeners. It goes beyond just being polite and making small talk for the sake of filling dead air.
And that’s how they make that strong, immediate connection I mentioned earlier. There’s nothing like someone wanting to know more about you to make you feel precious.
4) They find a point of commonality
Even when it seems like you’ve got nothing in common with them at first, you’ll be surprised how emotionally intelligent people can manage to strike gold by the time the conversation’s over.
It’s because of those meaningful questions they ask.
You see, we all have something in common, no matter how different our jobs or backgrounds are. It’s just a matter of taking the time to find out what it is.
Heck, given enough time together, I’m sure I can find something in common with someone worlds away from me, like, say, Warren Buffett!
But even if they genuinely want to connect with you, emotionally intelligent people also do this next thing…
5) They are very mindful of boundaries
The lovely thing about emotional intelligence is that it makes you much more gracious. Classier. Sensitive.
Basically, it makes you naturally respectful of other people’s boundaries and preferences.
That’s a huge part of why people feel immediately comfortable around emotionally intelligent people.
There’s a sense of trust, of thoughtfulness around people’s boundaries.
I know that when I’m with my emotionally intelligent friends, I never have to worry about pushy or manipulative behavior.
I know that I have the safe space to express myself without fear of judgment or being overwhelmed.
6) They’re sensitive to emotions, microexpressions, and body language
This is closely connected to my previous point.
The reason why emotionally intelligent people can easily respect others’ boundaries is because they have a higher sensitivity to how other people feel.
It’s like a sixth sense, really, this ability to detect what someone’s feeling even when they don’t say a word.
They can sense people’s comfort levels and adjust their approach accordingly.
Going back to that lady at the party I mentioned earlier, it was so soothing how she could tell I was feeling awkward and alone.
So she took it upon herself not just to introduce me to everyone else, but also to be there to make the vibe much lighter.
Not only that, she did this next wonderful thing…
7) They play a “conversational guide” role
Or a mediator to connect the unfamiliar with the known. What do I mean by this?
Well, imagine yourself in a group of strangers (just like me at that party). They all know one another, and you don’t.
So most likely, they’ll have their inside jokes and well-worn topics they like to talk about.
If you’re the new person, it can be incredibly uncomfortable to just dive in and contribute (the introvert in me would be doing a silent scream!).
But if there’s an emotionally intelligent person there, you’re in luck.
They’ll be the one to explain certain things to you and bridge the gap between you and the rest by bringing you into the fold.
They might say something like, “Oh, Taylor was just in Greece for a sabbatical. Do you enjoy traveling as well? What places have you visited?”
Just like that, they’ve linked something familiar to you with the group’s topic.
They’re awesome at making sure no one feels left out and that everyone’s involved in the chat. Don’t they sound like heavenly human beings?
8) They match their energy with the person they’re speaking to
Now, just because they’re socially adept doesn’t mean they’re all out loud and proud. Not necessarily.
You see, another superskill they have is being able to match people’s energies.
Remember, they have a sharp sense for what others are comfortable with.
So, if they’re talking to a fairly quiet or serious person, they’d tone it down a bit.
They’d switch gears, lower their voice, slow their pace, and choose their words more carefully.
It’s all about harmony – making sure the person they’re chatting with doesn’t feel overwhelmed or under pressure to match a high energy they might not be comfortable with.
On the flip side, if they’re interacting with someone who’s more upbeat and energetic, they can easily amp up their enthusiasm to match, too.
In other words, they seem to have a built-in energy dial that they adjust depending on who they’re with.
That way, everyone feels more at ease because there’s some mirroring going on – and that’s an important part of building connections.
But just because they’re somewhat like chameleons in this way doesn’t mean they’re fake.
If there’s one thing you can count on emotionally intelligent people to do, it’s this…
9) They’re simply themselves
Authenticity is a core value of emotionally intelligent people.
You won’t find them faking smiles or behaviors when they first meet someone.
Because they know that real connection can only happen when we’re brave enough to be real.
Their ability to match other people’s energies is simply a natural consequence of their highly empathetic nature, not because they’re trying to be someone else.
They’re just comfortable in their own skin, and that tends to make people around them feel comfortable too.
Not only that, emotionally intelligent people also have so much respect for others.
And that means, they will give you what they think you deserve – honesty and openness.
