Our words are like spells.
They have the power to change the way people feel, think, and act towards us. That’s why when it comes to love, our words can charm or repel someone.
Even the simplest things you say to a man can make him melt or have him running for the hills.
If you are wondering what you can say to a guy to drive him crazy, the good news is, it’s easy when you know how.
What words attract a man? Read on to find out 30 example phrases to make a man feel like a hero and why they work.
Phrases that trigger his hero instinct
Many of the essential phrases that we’re going to talk about in this article do one significant thing: they trigger a man’s hero instinct.
So I think it’s important before we start to give a quick overview of the hero instinct in case it’s new to you.
The hero instinct is a psychological concept that has been creating a real buzz.
It says that men have a biological urge to provide and protect the people they care the most about.
There’s a really great video you can watch that will give you the best comprehensive guide to the hero instinct and why it is vital in any relationship.
If it is sounding like an outdated notion, then we need to remember that genetic roles are very different from social roles.
These are instincts that were imprinted from 1000’s years of evolution.
For example, a study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal confirms that male testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and well-being.
In a nutshell, a guy wants to be your hero. In order to do so, he needs to feel essential, respected, and appreciated by a woman.
And it’s how you behave towards him and what you say that will do this.
That’s why many of the phrases you are about to learn are so powerful. Because they work with his hero instinct to have him eating out of the palm of your hand.
So be sure to check out that free video to learn all the ways you can trigger his hero instinct — not only the things you can say but the little actions and requests you can make of him too.
Phrases that make him feel special
On a planet with over seven and a half billion people, there is still only one of you. That means each and every one of us is totally unique.
We all have little quirks and qualities that make us different. How incredible is that?
The idea of being a unique snowflake has been criticized by people like motivational speaker and author Simon Sinek, who argued in his viral video that one of the problems with Millennials is exactly this kind of narcissistic thinking.
But at the end of the day, we all want to feel special, especially in the eyes of our romantic partners.
Ironically, even though we spend much of our lives trying to fit in, at the same time, we also desperately want to be seen.
The people we feel most comfortable with in life are usually the ones that just “get us”.
We never feel like we blend into the crowd around them. They see what makes us who we are and they can appreciate the attributes that make us stand out.
Let him know that you see those valuable things within him, that not everybody will notice.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel special:
“I think you are the most ambitious man I’ve ever dated.”
“I can really tell that you listen deeply to people when they talk, I love that about you.”
“It’s clear that you put family first, I think that’s so rare these days and a special quality.”
Phrases that reinforce him
Every single man wants to feel respected.
They want to feel like the man of the house and that they have the strength to lead. That doesn’t mean in any sexist or old-fashioned kind of way, it’s just that every guy wants to feel powerful in their own lives.
One way of exerting our sense of power is through decision-making. Just like all of us, when they make a choice, men want to feel like it was the right one and it will pay off.
By letting him know that you respect his decisions or admire his choices (in big or small ways), you are validating him.
You are effectively saying to him that he has good judgment.
That means, when you think he’s made the right choice, let him know. It doesn’t have to be a huge life-changing decision, it could be as simple as the shirt he picked out to wear to a party.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel validated:
“It was such a good call taking this route instead of the other one, it’s saved us so much time.”
“I’m really glad you said we should go out tonight instead of staying in, this was way more fun.”
“That’s such a great idea, let’s do it.”
Phrases about his sexual prowess
Both men and women can feel a lot of pressure when it comes to sex.
We can worry about body image, how we’ll measure up or whether we will please our partner.
Being intimate with someone is understandably a vulnerable thing, so no wonder plenty of people experience sexual performance anxiety.
There can be a bit of a stereotypical image of sexual masculinity that guys feel they have to live up to.
Even though it still might be more socially expected for guys to do the “chasing” when it comes to sex, we all want to feel sexy and desired. Feeling virile is all part of his biological drive.
Most men don’t just want to get you into bed, they want to know that they can satisfy you sexually. He wants to feel reassured about his performance in the bedroom.
That’s why if you want to make him feel like a real man, throwing in phrases about his sexual prowess is a sure-fire way to do it.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel like a sex god:
“You turn me on so much.”
“How do you do it? Because I feel like the sex between us is next level.”
“It’s super sexy the way you pick me up and throw me around the bedroom”
Phrases about how he makes you feel
Unless your guy is a total narcissist then, just like in the bedroom, in everyday life he also wants to please you.
We all seek approval from people closest and we all need some feedback for our efforts — otherwise, we’re likely to cut our losses and move on.
It’s funny, we can all be very quick to criticize or let a partner know when they’ve done something to upset us. But we’re not always as quick to tell them all the positive emotions they spark within us.
That means whether he makes you feel sexy, safe, or loved, you should let him know.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel like he pleases you:
“You always manage to cheer me up and make me feel better.”
“You make me so happy, I always wake up smiling when I wake up next to you.”
“You make me laugh so much”
Phrases that make him feel needed
Guys want to feel useful to you.
Of course, you can do everything for yourself if you need to, but part of being in a partnership is teamwork and leaning on one another for support — both practical and emotional.
One of the quickest ways to emasculate a man is to make him feel useless. It’s belittling and will knock anyone’s pride.
That could be things like criticizing when you feel like he got something wrong or didn’t do a task how you would have done it.
For example, if he prepared you a meal and you chose to focus on the mess he made in the kitchen rather than his culinary efforts.
Every man wants to feel capable of helping you out whenever you need him.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel useful to you:
“Babe, can I get your help with this?”
“Can I ask your opinion on something?”
“Do you know how to fix this because I can’t seem to do it?”
Phrases that make him feel nurtured
There’s a popular article on Medium titled “the one thing men want more than sex”.
In it, the male author explains how even though plenty of people think sex is what drives most men, in actual fact a more powerful motivator is to feel cared for.
“Always wanting sex is part of the male persona we wear to show we’re manly. What we really want is a safe harbor where we can take refuge, relax, and be cared for. In other words, we want the feeling of being nurtured that most of us didn’t get enough of when we were children. But admitting these needs makes us feel like little boys, not big strong men.”
Whilst there are obviously biological and cultural differences between men and women, fundamentally all of us also share similar needs.
Ideas of toxic masculinity may make some men feel reluctant to admit that they too want to feel looked after. But it’s important to remember that guys want to feel loved and supported just as much.
Nurturing phrases remind him that it is safe to be vulnerable with you and let his guard down. They are also powerful words to say to a man to remind him why he needs you.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel cared for:
“I am going to the store, is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you?”
“I’m here for you no matter what happens.”
Phrases that show you appreciate him
What is one of the most humble yet the most life-changing of emotions?
The answer is gratitude.
There’s been lots of research done on the power of gratitude in our lives. Studies have proved that it makes you happier, whilst others show it has a long-lasting effect on the brain which improves wellbeing.
It’s not so surprising then that the magical effects of gratitude are just as significant in relationships too.
Apparently, when we notice great things in our partner, it prompts us to find even more we like about them. The more appreciation we show, the more we are also prepared to compromise and sacrifice for our other half.
When we don’t feel appreciated in a relationship, unsurprisingly, we’re more likely to get a wandering eye.
There are plenty of simple ways of acknowledging and being grateful for what he does for you, but simply telling him is one of the most effective.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel appreciated:
“Thank you for doing that, I know you go out of your way for me, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.”
“I feel so lucky to have you.”
“You do so much for me, you are the best.”
Phrases that celebrate him
Remember when you were a kid and you did something that really made your parents proud? Maybe you won a prize in something or got a really good grade.
How did it make you feel? Pretty great I’m guessing.
The truth is that even once we’ve grown up, we all still want to be successful and do well. Nothing prompts pride in us like the recognition of a job well done from those important to us.
It’s why you’ll no doubt leave the office with a big smile on your face when your boss celebrates something you’ve done.
The same is true for your man. Of course, we don’t ever want to lay it on too thick and come across as patronizing.
Ultimately though, he wants to be your hero, so the more you make him feel like he really is, the better he will feel. If you really want to trigger this emotion in him, be sure to big him up when others are around too.
3 example emotional trigger phrases to make him feel proud:
“You’re so smart.”
“You’ve been working so hard recently, I’m so impressed.”
“Did you make that? It’s amazing.”
Phrases that give him freedom
The thought of “settling down” can be equal parts exciting and terrifying.
A lot of us are looking to find the one and create a strong relationship with someone so that we can share our lives together.
At the same time, we may feel like it sometimes comes at the sacrifice of our freedom. Of course, healthy relationships enhance our lives rather than restrict them.
Showing him that you are independent is incredibly sexy to most guys. When people are independent, they don’t feel the need to try to control others.
They aren’t needy or clingy. They’re happy to let their partner have autonomy over their own lives, because they feel secure in themselves and their relationship.
Desperation is one of the biggest turn-offs. That’s why he will realize you’re special if you can show him that you understand you won’t always be his number one priority, and that’s ok.
Whether it’s going out with friends, spending some time alone, or giving him the room to pursue his own interests — show a man you aren’t trying to “tie him down” and he’ll be even more drawn to you.
3 example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel free
“It’s ok, I trust you.”
“If you feel like going out with your friends, don’t stay home on my account.”
“No problem if you are busy, I’ll call a friend and see if she wants to hang out.”
Phrases that challenge him
You’ve probably heard that men like the “chase” of a relationship. That’s because it’s actually human nature to be suspicious of anything that seems to come our way a bit too easily.
Guys are looking for a healthy challenge, rather than someone who is too keen or a total pushover.
He will respect you when you challenge him. If he feels like you have high standards, then it makes him feel good to know that he is worthy of your attention.
It’s not about playing games, but it is about self-respect.
That means it’s good to show him that you are selective, but that he qualifies for what you want in a man.
3 example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel challenged:
“I’m really happy being single, so I don’t jump straight into relationships.”
“I never “play” hard to get, I don’t need to because I am hard to get.”
“It takes a while to earn my trust.”
In summary: 30 phrases that ignite desire in a man
Whilst igniting desire in a man can sometimes feel like daunting territory, the phrases that trigger his hero instinct are the best way to get immediate results.
Understanding how a man’s biology impacts his psychological wiring means you can feed him the simple words, phrases, and actions to make him feel fulfilled in any relationship.
It’s like getting a cheat sheet for how your man ticks.
So I encourage you to make some time to watch the free video on the hero instinct so you truly understand exactly how to put it to use.
Along with a step-by-step blueprint for triggering the hero instinct in your man, you’ll learn things you can say, texts you can send, and the little requests you can make.
And here’s your complete list of mesmerizing phrases to say to a man to have him eating out of the palm of your hand:
- I think you are the most ambitious man I’ve ever dated.
- I can really tell that you listen deeply to people when they talk, I love that about you.
- It’s clear that you put family first, I think that’s special and rare.
- It was such a good call taking this route instead of the other one, it’s saved us so much time.
- I’m really glad you said we should go out tonight instead of staying in, this was way more fun.
- That’s such a great idea, let’s do it.
- You turn me on so much.
- How do you do it? Because I feel like the sex between us is next level.
- It’s super sexy the way you pick me up and throw me around the bedroom
- You always manage to cheer me up and make me feel better.
- You make me so happy, I always wake up smiling if I wake up next to you.
- I feel so protected whenever I’m with you.
- Babe, can I get your help with this?
- Can I ask your opinion on something?
- Do you know how to fix this because I can’t seem to do it?
- I am going to the store, is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you?
- I’m here for you no matter what happens.
- I love you.
- Thank you for doing that, I know you go out of your way for me, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.
- I feel so lucky to have you.
- You do so much for me, you are the best.
- You’re so smart.
- You’ve been working so hard recently, I’m so impressed
- Did you make that? It’s amazing.
- It’s ok, I trust you.
- If you feel like going out with your friends, don’t stay home on my account.
- No problem if you are busy, I’ll call a friend and see if she wants to hang out.
- I’m really happy being single, so I don’t jump straight into relationships.
- I never “play” hard to get, I don’t need to because I am hard to get.
- It takes a while to earn my trust.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.