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13 things elegant women never do (so you shouldn’t either!)

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Elegance is more than just wearing shiny diamond jewelry or dining at fancy restaurants; anyone can do that.

Elegance can’t simply be bought; it’s something someone has to truly embody.

Truly elegant women know them.

It takes more than just a wardrobe change or a career jump to something that pays more.

It’s about their behavior and how they carry themselves.

As many things that elegant women do – such as showing others respect as well as being confident in herself – there are as many things she never does.

Often, it’s by simply avoiding certain behaviors and habits that elevates her personality and catches the attention of others– like a shiny diamond.

Below are 12 things that elegant women never do.

1. They Never Swear

One of the things that might initially catch you off guard when you’re speaking to an elegant woman is the way she speaks.

She speaks with a confident tone, careful about the words she uses.

While some people resort to swearing when they can’t find the right words to express themselves, an elegant woman knows what to say.

Since she tends to be more well-read, she doesn’t need to have the mouth of a sailor to tell people just how frustrated she is.

She calmly communicates it, maybe becoming more stern in tone.

2. They Never Dress Inappropriately

If there’s an event without a specified dress code, you’d see her dressed up more than dressed down.

She isn’t the type to just put on any pair of jeans and distressed sneakers when she goes out; her outfits and style is more sophisticated than that.

She might opt not to show too much skin while going out, either. She might rather leave more to the imagination than other women.

3. They Never Share Too Much of Themselves

When you ask her to tell you about herself, she tends to hold back.

She doesn’t want to come off as being too boastful (because the list of her achievements tends to be longer than most).

She isn’t the type to try to one up another person, telling them how much better she is.

She’s humble about what she’s achieved to not outshine the people she’s with.

4. They Never Bring Out The Worst In Their Partner

A strong elegant woman brings out the best in her partner.

She doesn’t waste time playing games, indulging in drama, or messing about with the feelings of others.

We all need to live meaningful lives and earn the respect of the people we care about.

That’s what men want from a relationship above all else — respect. More than love and even more than sex.

There’s a new concept in relationship psychology that spells all this out. It’s called the hero instinct.

An elegant woman doesn’t need help from a man, but she equally isn’t afraid to let him solve little problems, come to her aid, and prove himself useful. She knows this gives him a sense of meaning and purpose.

To learn more about the hero instinct, check out this quick video by relationship expert James Bauer.

He reveals the things you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can make to trigger this very natural instinct in your man.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

5. They Never Tolerate Messes

If you get the chance to visit her home, you’ll quickly realize something about her:

She ensures that every inch of her home is clean and organized.

Her floors are polished; the kitchen is spotless; all her belongings are neatly arranged.

She isn’t the type to leave her clothes lying around, or dirty dishes in the sink.

She maintains this cleanliness not only because it’s more considerate of other people visiting, but it also allows her to reach for everything she needs without having to think about where it is.

6. They Never Play Games with People

When other people want something, they might subtly manipulate others to give it to them.

If they need help, they might guilt-trip people, saying that everyone else might have been willing to help.

But if an elegant woman wants something, she tries to make it as clear as possible.

She knows that, by being clear, it lessens confusion as well as building trust with others more.

7. They Never Forget Their Manners

If you get the chance to go out to dinner with an elegant woman, watch how she prepares herself to eat.

When she talks to the waiter, she talks to them not like some servant.

She speaks to them conversationally, like a friend; she might even use their first name while ordering her meal.

She always remembers to say “Please,” and “Thank You” to them as well.

When she’s ready to dine, she places napkin on her lap and sits up straight.

Although she might be hungry, she still won’t be one to gorge down her food as if she’s starving.

And when you speak, you’ll see she never puts her elbows on the table.

She behaves this way in any restaurant she visits, regardless of how fancy it is.

8. They Never Slouch

As we spend more and more time hunched over on our computers, our posture suffers greatly.

We start walking around with our shoulders rolled forward and head ahead of our neck.

This posture can not only lead to negative health effects but negative psychological effects too.

A study found that sitting upright can help someone maintain their confidence and self-esteem in the face of stressful situations.

Those sitting up were in a better mood than those slumped forward.

Since an elegant woman is someone who never forgets her manners, she always makes sure to maintain proper posture wherever she goes.

That’s a contributing reason why she seems so confident and commanding.

9. They Never Neglect Their Health

An elegant woman isn’t one that blazes through a pack of chips even when she isn’t feeling hungry.

In fact, even if she were hungry, she might rather reach for something healthier instead.

That’s because an elegant woman always makes sure to take care of herself.

She maintains her fit lifestyle by eating fresh meals and exercising often throughout the week.

An elegant woman also knows her limits.

She isn’t one to drink more once she knows she’s had enough.

And although she might have a sweet tooth, she knows her limits and has the self-discipline to stop herself from getting one more cookie in favor of fulfilling a lifelong goal – to be as healthy as she can.

10. They Never Try to be Someone They Aren’t

Often, society can sway people to become someone they aren’t just because it’s a personality that’s trendy.

If the typical “bad boy/girl” trend becomes trendy, she isn’t going to join the crowds of people changing their image just to not appear like an outsider.

In fact, an elegant woman doesn’t follow anyone else’s style completely but hers.

Sure, she may take inspiration from powerful women like Oprah or Anna Wintour, but for the most part, she has her own identity.

You can tell her apart from a crowd of people because she doesn’t choose to dress the way they dress, or speak the way they speak just because it’s what’s popular right now.

11. They Never Try to Please People

It’s easy to feel like we’re obligated to make everyone like us and what we do.

We take on certain responsibilities at work that we know are completely out of our skill set, just to impress other people.

An elegant woman, on the other hand, never does this.

She isn’t one to bend over backward for people.

If someone asks for something but they set an impossible deadline, she isn’t going to try to just please them for it – she fights back.

But not in the way that most people are used to, one that includes offensive words and attacks on a person’s character. Insead, she carefully explains and convinces others of her side.

You see, being an elegant woman means knowing what other people need from you. This is especially true when it comes to love.

Watch this quick video to discover what men really want from a relationship (it’s definitely not what you think).

The video reveals a little known “trigger” in men that holds the key to their love and devotion. The few women who know about it have an almost unfair advantage in love.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

12. They Don’t Raise Their Voice

When other people get angry, they tend to raise their voices to start a screaming match.

It’s a primal behavior that elegant women are able to navigate their way around if they’re on the receiving end, and avoid resorting to it if she’s on the giving end.

When someone really makes her mad, offends her, or mistreats her, she doesn’t launch a verbal fight. She discusses.

She sits down with the person, maturely, to bring up the issues she has with them.

There, she talks to them honestly and openly, so that the issue is resolved in a productive and civil manner.

13. They Never Disrespect People

An elegant woman always remembers who she deals with: people.

If someone is frustrating her and being unclear, before calling them names, she might pull them aside and ask how they’re doing.

She really tries to understand why someone would act the way they do, empathizing with them, and also doing her best to offer as much of her support as she can to them.

She understands that we often don’t see the full story when we’re talking to someone.

We only see a glimpse of their life.

Behind the scenes, they might be going through relationship problems or backstabbing siblings and relatives. No one truly knows.

That’s why she always makes sure to be kind to people, because they might just be having a bad day, or they’re going through something difficult at the moment.

Becoming More Elegant

People can’t truly buy their way into elegance.

It’s a lifestyle change that starts at your core beliefs.

Do you believe you can truly overcome the difficulties and challenges that come your way?

That’s where your confidence might come from.

Do you believe that you are worthy of love and that caring for yourself is just as important as caring for others?

That might be where you find the fierce independence of an elegant woman.

You may not suddenly become an elegant woman overnight, and that’s okay.

What’s important is, if you desire to become more elegant, is that you start avoiding what they do not do.

By doing so, you might eventually find yourself with a new class of people around you.

Putting yourself first

Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.

What’s your number one goal at the moment?

Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?

To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?

Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?

Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.

And even then…plans fail.

But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…

No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.

I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.

Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.

She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.

Click here to find out more about Life Journal.

So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.

How much do you want it?

Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?

If so, check out the workshop here.

If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!

All the best,
Lachlan

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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