When you’ve been with someone for a number of years, it’s easy to think your partner doesn’t find you attractive anymore.
But is that really the case?
As someone who has been in a relationship for more than 15 years, I can tell you that we still find each other irresistible. That’s despite putting on a few pounds and my receding hairline.
So, if you want to know if your partner still finds you incredibly attractive, here are some easy-to-miss signs.
1) They give you that lingering look when they think you’re not watching
If your partner gives you those long, appreciative stares when they think you’re not looking, it means they’re totally into you.
You can catch them just checking you out because they can’t help it.
And that’s just amazing, isn’t it? It shows that they find you attractive even after all these years.
And why wouldn’t they? They chose you as their partner. There was a good reason for it, right?
You might have changed a bit, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t the same person.
2) They’re finding excuses to touch you, like fixing your hair or adjusting your collar
When someone’s finding reasons to touch you, whether it’s giving you hugs, holding hands, or any other subtle gestures, it’s a good sign they’re physically attracted to you.
It’s just a non-verbal way of expressing care and closeness. For many, it’s easier to do than it is to say they find you stunning.
But then again, some people express their affection through touch more openly, while others are more reserved.
In any case, touching is a powerful way for people to connect, and this shouldn’t stop just because you’ve been together for years or because you have kids, a.k.a. the mood killers.
So, if you feel there’s a lack of physical closeness, try initiating it or talking openly to your partner about it.
If they find you attractive, they should be over the moon that you want to be more physically close.
3) They give you random compliments about your appearance, even on regular days
Getting random compliments about your appearance is definitely a positive sign in a relationship.
When your partner gives you praises out of the blue – like saying you look great on a Tuesday – it means they find you desirable every day, not just when you dress up nicely (for instance).
Or they did something wrong.
Joking aside, it’s a way of expressing affection and letting you know that they see and value you.
For me, it’s an incredible boost of confidence that I desperately need on some days. I also love the fact that my wife pays attention to the details and takes joy in expressing her feelings for me.
4) They’re playfully teasing and flirting
If they playfully tease you or flirt even when you’re just chilling, it means they enjoy keeping things fun and flirty.
They’re basically telling you, “You’re awesome, and I’m still crazy about you.”
Unfortunately, when you’ve been with someone for many years, playfulness is one of the first things on the chopping block.
You get so used to each other that you don’t feel like it most of the time. And when life gets in the way, it’s even worse, isn’t it?
That’s why being in a long-term relationship or marriage is often hard work. You need to pay attention so you don’t neglect many things you used to take for granted for the relationship to stay healthy.
And that’s the worst part about relationships. You will eventually start taking your partner for granted. And when they do the same, your bond might be in a lot of trouble if you aren’t careful.
All that said, if you’re still playful at times, that’s a good sign. Sign that they still find you unbelievably appealing, among many other things.
5) Making an effort to spend quality time together, even when busy
Another excellent sign that your relationship is very healthy is if you make an effort to spend time together. Especially if they initiate it, right?
That means they enjoy spending time with you even more than they do with their pals, hobbies, etc.
When they actively carve out time for you despite a busy life, it reveals their commitment to the relationship.
It shows a desire to nurture the emotional bond, create shared memories, and enjoy each other’s company.
My wife and I go for a walk on the beach each day after work. If you’ve been reading some of my articles, you know I always stress this out.
It’s just such a great and simple way to bond together every day.
We’re blessed that we have this opportunity after 10+ years of me doing shift work and her having a very demanding and stressful job.
Our kid is still at home with us, so it does wonders for him too.
6) They make an effort to look good for you, even on casual occasions
When your partner wants to look good for you, even on casual occasions, it’s a clear sign they’re invested in the relationship.
From dressing up nicely to paying attention to grooming, they want to present themselves in the best light.
I even know some women who wake up before their husbands to put on makeup so they don’t see them without it. That’s taking it a bit far, don’t you think?
But it just goes to show what some partners are willing to do. They want their partners to find them incredibly attractive.
7) There’s a noticeable spark in their eyes when they look at you
That twinkle in their eyes when they look at you means they’re genuinely happy to be with you. They’ve found something special in you that lights them up.
They obviously have a deep emotional connection and an excitement to be with you.
This spark is especially significant because it’s an involuntary and genuine reaction. It’s not something that can be easily faked, making it a sincere gesture of the positive emotions they have for you.
So, if you catch that spark in your partner’s eyes, consider it a lovely affirmation of the emotional connection you share.
8) They’re sending unexpected, affectionate texts during the day
If you want a straightforward sign your partner is thinking of you throughout the day, it’s when you receive unexpected, affectionate texts from them.
These messages could be sweet compliments, expressions of love, or simply a check-in to see how your day is going.
It shows a desire for connection and to share moments of affection with you.
They’re simply trying to bridge the physical distance between you during the day, creating a sense of closeness even when you’re apart.
Although we both work from home, whenever one of us goes somewhere, you know they’ll text you and tell you what’s happening.
We’re just so used to interacting with each other that we do it even when going out for a little bit.
9) You’re sharing pet names
Sharing pet names or unique terms of endearment is a sweet and personal way for couples to express their affection.
It could be something as simple as “babe,” “sweetheart,” or even a quirky, inside joke turned term of endearment.
Regardless of what you call each other, it’s a great way to express love and warmth, but also incredible allure and a burning desire you have for each other.
However, after you spend a couple of years together, these names suddenly disappear from your dictionary.
If that’s not the case for you, you’re obviously a great match and still love and want each other.
Ultimately, there are many signs only you can recognize that express your partner’s desire for you and just how much they find you attractive.
Does that mean you should rest easy and relax?
On the contrary, take it as a much-needed boost to your confidence and start working even more on yourself so they find you irresistible for the many years to come.