10 early signs a relationship is going to last, according to psychology

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You’ve just met someone you think is awesome… there aren’t many feelings that can top that! 

But maybe previous heartbreaks and betrayals have left you cynical about love. 

And perhaps you’re a little afraid of exposing yourself to more pain by getting involved with someone new.  

This is understandable, however, it’s not a good long-term strategy, particularly if you want to enjoy a long-term relationship in the future!  

Look, all love is a gamble, and there is no way to do it without leaving ourselves vulnerable to potential heartbreak. 

But there are some reliable indicators that your love affair has the potential to becoming a solid, long-term relationship.  

So, let’s dive in. 

Here are 10 early signs a relationship is going to last, according to psychology.  

1) You feel a sense of ease

You may have been sold that the feeling of butterflies in your belly indicates love. But psychology says this feeling doesn’t indicate your relationship is likely to last

In fact, it’s quite the opposite! 

The exciting and dizzying feeling comes from your nervous system going into overdrive… it’s waving a red flag, trying to urge caution.  

On the other hand, the first early sign a relationship is going to last is that you feel an inexplicable sense of ease around your significant other from the offset. 

Being able to be fully yourself with someone and totally comfortable in their company is a big indicator that you’re likely to go the distance with each other. 

It’s a comfortable and safe feeling like you’re at home.   

2) Shared values and goals  

Any successful long-term relationship requires strong compatibility.  

It’s important for you to agree on the fundamentals if you are to go the distance with each other.  

This means your personal values, your goals for the future, your ideal way of life, your preferred ways of spending time should all be similar if not the same.  

Studies show that the more like-minded you are in these areas, the better chance you have of enjoying a enjoying a strong and lasting relationship. 

3) You admire each other

From the earliest moments of meeting, did you sense you partner’s respect for you? 

Did they show you a natural kindness from the outset? 

If the answer is yes, this is another good sign that your relationship will last the test of time. 

According to psychology, mutual kindness, admiration, and respect is the bedrock for any successful partnership. 

And this isn’t something that will develop at a later stage; if it’s not present from the initial days, it is likely not going to develop at all.  

So, if you don’t admire and respect your partner from your initial encounters, this is not a good sign for longevity.    

4) Equal measures of emotional and physical passion

Another way to tell if your love is likely to grow or not is to consider the prevalent feelings you’re both experiencing when you’re together.  

Ideally, you want to be extremely attracted to your partner’s body, face, mind, and way of being in the world. 

Passion totally physical? Not a good sign for the long term. It may feel amazing now, but this connection is likely to fizzle out eventually.  

Emotional intimacy but not fussed about the physical? Maybe you’re destined to be great friends. 

But if there is emotional and physical intimacy in equal measure, this is a great sign for a long-lasting relationship.  

And enjoying intimacy in more than one way also makes it more likely you’ll enjoy our next sign that a relationship is likely to go the distance…  

5) There’s no ambiguity

Are you sick and tired of ridiculous power games in dating?  

People acting hot one moment and cold the next?  

Well, if someone is treating you like this in the early stages of your relationships, it’s unlikely to last.  

What does indicate the potential for a successful long-term relationship is a lack of ambiguity in your dealings with your significant other.  

They will show you that they are interested. They will make plans to see you. They will be reliable and consistent

There will be nothing in their words and their actions that will leave you in any doubt of their intentions.  

They will communicate clearly and easily with you.  

You will feel like you can trust them. There will be no room for guessing.  

Now, onto the next sign that your new relationship is built to last… 

6) You both enjoy full lives

You’re heard it said a million times because it’s true: no one can make us happy but ourselves.  

So, it stands to reason that two happy people with full lives make for the best relationships.  

In fact, psychology states that nothing tops the chances of a relationship between two healthy and independent people lasting.  

The more fulfilled two people are on their own, the higher the likelihood that they will create a successful and strong couple.  

This doesn’t diminish the importance of the emotional bond they share with each other; rather it emphasises the importance of maintaining a solid sense of self to the relationship dynamic.  

7) You like the same recreation

And although maintaining a sense of self and some degree of separation is important for the future of any relationship, so too is spending time quality together.  

This is why having some shared interests is crucial.  

Enjoying some hobbies or recreation together builds strong connections and bonds between you.  

And psychology says that couples that share activities have a significantly higher chances of success in the long-term.  

So, if you and your partner both adore to travel, excellent!  

Both love dogs and long country walks, bingo! 

Like the same off-beat, alternative movies, happy days!  

These are all excellent signs that your relationship will get stronger and last longer.  

8) Trust seems natural

OK, let’s get this straight: showing someone the good, the bad, and the ugly of ourselves is terrifying. 

It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone new, especially if we’ve been hurt in the past… 

And who among us hasn’t been hurt?   

And this fear of becoming vulnerable with someone only to end up betrayed is what makes so many among us so reluctant to give love a chance.  

However, sometimes you will feel an inexplicable urge to trust someone, regardless of your fear.  

An instinct that it’s safe to trust this person is an early sign you may have met someone extremely special.  

9) You’re both at peace with the past

As we’ve just covered, there is no one who hasn’t been hurt by someone they cared for.  

But it’s vital that both you and your partner have both made peace with your past if you want to be together for the long-haul. 

Unhealed traumas from childhood or previous relationships can have a devastating effect on our romantic relationships, according to psychology.  

So, if you’ve met someone that has dealt with their pain, done the work, learned the lessons, and truly healed, it is another great sign that your relationship is likely to last.  

And onto the final early sign that your relationship will last… 

10) You want to grow in the same direction

People are always evolving, and who we are today is not who we will be in five, ten, or twenty-years’ time. 

This is why it’s important that both partners are aiming for the same things if the relationship is to stand the test of time.  

And it’s not just about going in the same direction, it’s also about growing in the same direction

If you’re both committed to personal growth, this is a great sign you’re going to last.  

Final thoughts  

There’s no doubt that dating can be a nightmare. 

No one wants to invest time and feelings into something that isn’t going anywhere. 

With the help of the 10 signs above, you’ll now be able to gauge whether your relationship is worth the effort or not.  

Good luck.  

Niamh McNamara

A freelance writer fascinated with human nature and social dynamics, Niamh read literature, history, and philosophy at university before spending time in journalism and PR. Armed with a passion for words and ideas, and a healthy appreciation of the ridiculous, she tries to make sense of it all. Connect with Niamh on X @NBMcnamara123

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