12 reasons you’re dreaming of another man while in a relationship

Are you in a happy, healthy relationship? 

If you’re reading this article, perhaps you believe that you are. 

However, there’s just one thing: you keep dreaming about another man. And the worst part is, it all happens while you sleep next to your significant other. 

You’re probably reading this because you’re overcome with guilt. But I’m here to let you know that it’s okay! We’re going to figure this out together. 

Below, we’ll be discussing the 11 reasons you’re dreaming of another man while in a relationship. 

Let’s dive in!

1) You’re not in love with your boyfriend anymore

Falling out of love in a relationship is normal. It happens, and we’re totally not in control of it. 

You might be dreaming of another man because you’ve fallen out of love with your boyfriend

It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in love with the man you’ve been dreaming of—the dream might just be telling you something you’re not quite willing to admit in real life yet.

There are several reasons why you might have started falling out of love. Maybe it’s because you and your boyfriend have grown apart, and can’t give each other what you need anymore. And that’s perfectly fine. 

At the end of the day, it’s always up to you if you think you can work it out or if you need to part ways. Whatever you decide, I’m sure it will ultimately be for the best. 

2) You’ve been unfaithful in real life

If you’ve been unfaithful in real life, this might be the reason why you’ve been dreaming of another man.

It’s possible that you’re dreaming of this man because you’ve been flirting with him in real life or maybe even have had a sexual encounter with him, all behind your partner’s back.

If you’ve been unfaithful, this might be your guilt manifesting in your dreams because you’ve been repressing these thoughts in real life. 

To stop dreaming of this man, maybe it’s time to come clean to your significant other about what you’ve done. 

Similarly, you might be dreaming of this man because you have feelings for him. 

3) You have feelings for another man

Therapist Lori Gottlieb famously said that dreams are a precursor to self-confession.

What does this mean?

It means that when we have truths about ourselves that we’re not ready to admit yet in waking life, it manifests in our dreams instead. 

You might be dreaming of another man because you have repressed romantic or sexual feelings for him. However, what these feelings could possibly mean depends on you. 

Do you think these feelings are merely just lust or infatuation, or is it as serious as love?

Do you love your boyfriend enough to stay, or do you love this other man enough to leave your current relationship?

Whatever your hidden truth may be, the only way you can stop dreaming about him is if you resolve these issues in real life.

4) You have unresolved issues with this man

One of the reasons why you might be dreaming of this other man is because you have unfinished business with him. 

Maybe you’re looking for closure from an ex-boyfriend or even an ex-friend. Perhaps you’re not satisfied with the way the relationship ended and are longing for a little bit more clarity. 

An example of this is if you have something that you’ve always wanted to tell them, but never got to do so. Or a question you’ve always wanted to ask but has been left unanswered.

Note that if it’s an ex-boyfriend you’ve been dreaming of, it doesn’t necessarily mean you still love him, you just need to resolve whatever unfinished business you have left.

5) You miss your ex

If you’ve been dreaming about an ex-boyfriend, that might be a sign that you miss him. 

However, as previously mentioned, this doesn’t necessarily mean you still love him. There are a couple reasons why you might miss your ex, one of which is nostalgia. 

As humans, we sometimes have a tendency to look at the past through rose-colored lenses. Maybe you’ve been comparing your present relationship with your past one and feel that the latter has been better. 

But don’t let yourself get caught up in that thought.

It might just be nostalgia speaking. Remember that your past relationship didn’t work out for a reason, which is why you broke up and why it could never work. 

Another reason could be that you miss who you used to be when you were with your ex. You might be grieving a past version of yourself that had been lost in the previous years, and that’s perfectly fine. We all miss who we used to be sometimes. 

Similarly, you could be dreaming about a male best friend. 

6) You miss your male best friend

Missing the people in your life often translates in your dreams. It’s not any different for your male friends.

This doesn’t always mean you have romantic feelings for them, however. More often than not, it simply means you miss them, period. 

If it’s as innocent as simply missing your friend, it might be a good idea to reconnect with them if you haven’t been talking to them in a while. Perhaps invite them to have coffee and catch up on each other’s lives.

These feelings might translate into your dreams because you might feel guilty missing them. One possible reason why is your boyfriend having a history of being jealous of them in the past. 

If that’s the case, it would be better if you both work to resolve the underlying issues behind your boyfriend’s jealousy, especially if reassuring them in the past has not worked.

However, if you’ve tried everything and the issue still seems to be unresolved, it might result in discontent with the relationship.

7) You’re not content in your relationship

Feeling unhappy in your relationship is more common than you think.

In this study by e-Harmony called “The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America”, it was found that out of the 2,084 individuals interviewed who were either married or in long-term relationships, 19% admitted that they were unhappy and 6% reported that they were desperately unhappy. 

So if you feel disappointed in your partner, it’s normal. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put in the effort to figure out why. 

Here are some possible reasons why you might be disappointed in your partner:

  • There are things you’re looking for that he just can’t give
  • He doesn’t listen to your needs
  • You constantly fight for the smallest reasons
  • You feel that he doesn’t understand you
  • He makes you feel lonely and incomplete despite being in a relationship

If any of these are true, it obviously means that there are things you need to work on in the relationship in real life.

8) You miss the thrill of falling in love

One of the reasons why you could be dreaming of another man is because you miss the thrill of falling in love.

That spark when you first meet someone, the thrill of the chase…it’s all so exhilarating, isn’t it? Even I have been guilty of commonly chasing after that feeling in my romantic relationships. 

However, in long-term relationships and marriages, it’s common for the “spark” to die down after a couple of years. After all, love and relationships are more than just sparks and chemistry. 

More often than we’d like to admit, successful relationships work because they put in the necessary work. They choose each other every day, over and over again, even if it’s difficult on some days.

If you feel that the spark has died down in your relationship and are questioning whether to leave them or stay, ask yourself these: are you willing to choose your boyfriend every day, over and over again? Are they worth the mundane days and nights? Does your love for him ultimately win over every other reason at the end of the day?

To rekindle that lost spark, below are some things you can try with your boyfriend:

  • Try flirting with your him again to reignite the lost romance and excitement
  • Go on dates again and try things you’ve never done before
  • Remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place

If you’re not willing to try with him anymore, that might be a sign that you want to break up with him. 

9) You want to break up with your boyfriend

Dreaming of another man while you’re in a relationship sometimes means that you actually want to end said relationship

You might have repressed desires of breaking up with your boyfriend in real life, which manifests in your dreams.

It’s possible that this happens because you’re not happy in the relationship anymore and secretly fantasize being happy with someone else, someone new, and someone who could give you what you want the way your current boyfriend can’t. 

But you try not to entertain the thought because part of you doesn’t actually want to break up with him, or it makes you feel guilty. 

This might be because you’ve been together for a long time, or you’re simply afraid of hurting his feelings because, even if you’ve fallen out of love with him, you still care about him deeply. 

In the end, it’s up to you to decide if you want to stay in the relationship because you genuinely believe you can still work things out, or if you truly want to leave and find someone else.

10) You’re sexually frustrated

Are your dreams with this man sexual in nature?

Are you, in real life, not satisfied in sex with your boyfriend?

If so, this is a tell-tale sign that you’re sexually frustrated.

The good news is, this doesn’t automatically mean you have to break up with your boyfriend. Some experts actually believe sexual incompatibility is a myth, and can be easily worked out. 

To deal with this, try to communicate with your boyfriend about what you’re looking for in sex. If you feel that the sex has become dull and boring and you’re looking to try something new, don’t be ashamed to tell this to your boyfriend so you both could agree on what you’re comfortable trying. 

11) He represents something else

If the man in your dream is unidentified and you have no clue who he is, it might be because he represents something else entirely.

To figure out what he represents, try to examine his characteristics, how he treats you, and how he makes you feel. 

Is he kind and sweet? Does he treat you gently? Does he make you feel good about yourself?

These may be things you might be looking for in your current relationship that your boyfriend fails to give. 

Of course, as we previously talked about, this could be simply resolved by communicating your needs to your boyfriend.

How to stop dreaming of another man while in a relationship 

Now that you know why you might be dreaming of another man while you’re in a relationship, you’re probably wondering: how do I stop these dreams?

Well, you’re in luck, because I got you covered!

Below are some things you could try to stop dreaming about another man while in a relationship.

Process your repressed thoughts and feelings

Commonly, dreams are the result of repressed thoughts and feelings in waking life. 

In order to stop dreaming about this man, the best thing you could do is to process these repressed thoughts and feelings. 

If you’ve been unfaithful, perhaps it’s finally time to come clean to your significant other. Of course, there will be consequences, so you have to be ready to face them when they come. 

If you have needs that stay unfulfilled in the relationship, it is best that you communicate it with your partner in waking life. 

Communicate your needs with your partner

Most of the time, relationships have issues because we fail to communicate our needs to our partners. When we repress these needs, they often manifest in the most unattractive ways, such as dreaming about another while we sleep next to our significant other.

We usually fear we’re being needy or even clingy. However, we’re not robots. We all need one another to survive, and so, having needs is completely human. 

To communicate your needs to your partner, talk to him in a calm and rational manner. Make it clear that you’re not painting him a bad picture, just that you have needs that you feel have stayed unfulfilled.

Trust me: this will go a long way in the end. All the best relationships survive thanks to good communication. 

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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