Why do I keep dreaming of my husband cheating on me?

If you keep dreaming about your husband cheating on you and are starting to lose it, don’t!

I’m here to tell you there’s no reason to freak out. There are so many reasons that you could be having that dream, it doesn’t have to mean that your husband is actually having an affair.

Let’s have a look at some possible reasons you keep having this recurring dream and hopefully put your mind to rest.

1) The dream isn’t about cheating

Look, while dreaming about your husband cheating can leave you feeling anxious and unsettled upon waking up, it’s actually quite a common dream. I’ve had it myself.

Just because you dream about something doesn’t mean that it’s true. If it was, I’d be able to fly and I’d be married to Brad Pitt.

So, before you start thinking that your recurring dream is a “sign” that your husband is cheating on you, you need to understand that sometimes, a dream is just a succession of images, emotions, and ideas that you give meaning to upon waking up.

And sometimes, it’s your brain trying to come to terms with certain feelings, fears, or events that have taken place. Keep reading to find out more…

2) You’re insecure

Here’s the thing: Such dreams often stem from insecurity in a relationship or other underlying issues.

On a scale of 1-10, how secure would you say you are in your relationship?

The reason I ask is that often when people dream about their partners cheating on them, it’s because they’re insecure. They don’t think they’re good enough for their partner to stay interested in them and they pretty much keep waiting to be dumped or cheated on.

And do you know what? When you feel like that, it’s quite normal for those feelings to manifest themselves in your dreams.

That’s why it’s important to acknowledge when such dreams are unfounded so that you can take a look at your insecurities, figure out where they come from, and deal with them. I mean, you don’t want them to interfere with your relationship (by making you act jealous and irrational for example), right?

Why not try talking to a close friend about it?

And if you think it’s a deeply rooted issue, I suggest reaching out to a therapist to help you address your insecurity. There’s no shame in asking for help, I have a therapist myself.

3) Your relationship is stuck in a rut

Sometimes, dreaming about your husband cheating is a symptom of a larger problem than just insecurity.

It could be an indication that you’re feeling unsatisfied in your relationship:

If this sounds like you, the only way to get rid of such dreams, and more importantly to fix your relationship before it completely fizzles out, is to address the problems that you and your husband are facing.

Ask yourself: Why is your relationship stuck in a rut? What can you do about it?

And once you’ve thought about it and identified some potential reasons and solutions, talk to your husband about it. See how he feels. Work together to find that “spark” in your relationship once again.

Here are some ideas for you guys:

  • For starters, make sure that you spend quality time together on a regular basis. Put it down on your agenda if you have to!
  • Go on a vacation somewhere, just the two of you. Even if you can only get away for a few days, the time you spend together can do so much for your relationship.
  • Try new activities that you can do together. This will help you discover new things about each other and find stuff to bond over.

But that’s not all.

You shouldn’t just look to your relationship to feel happy.

While you’re looking for ways to make your relationship interesting again, you also need to explore your own personal interests.

The reason is that when you’re pursuing your goals and doing things you’re passionate about, you’ll feel happier and more fulfilled in your life. And that in turn will make you feel less frustrated in your relationship.

Does that make sense?

4) He doesn’t satisfy you

Here’s the truth:

Dreams about a cheating partner can also indicate that you’re not feeling satisfied – either emotionally or sexually.

But why dream about him cheating on you instead of you cheating on him?

Well, you could have that dream too. In this case, however, you’re dreaming about him cheating on you because you feel that he’s not satisfying you because he’s busy satisfying someone else.

Look, I know that marriage is supposed to be for life, but if you don’t put in the work, you’re either going to spend your life feeling unsatisfied or you’ll end up getting divorced,

If you think that your marriage is worth saving, then you need to talk to your husband about this. You both need to be committed to making some changes and making your marriage a priority.

Can you do that?

5) Your husband is taking you for granted

Another reason for this upsetting dream is the fact that you feel like your husband is taking you for granted.

When you first started dating, he was very attentive, affectionate, and romantic.

He used to plan these amazing dates and you’d spend hours on end talking and enjoying each other’s company. It was clear that your happiness was a priority for him.

But you know how it goes: he wins you over, you fall for him, you marry him, and then – life goes on. It’s work, kids (or pets, or both), chores… he’s tired and it doesn’t occur to him that he has to woo you anymore.

And then, he may become distant and you’ll start to drift apart. He’ll prioritize work and his hobbies over spending time with you. He’ll neglect you and your relationship and forget to show his appreciation for everything you do for him. And you’ll start to realize that he’s taking you for granted.

And when you think about it, neglecting your relationship and taking you for granted is a kind of betrayal, just like cheating… I mean, when you agreed to marry him you thought he’d always be the sweet and thoughtful guy who put you first…

So what’s the solution?

Talk to him. Try to keep your cool. Remain calm and tell him how you feel without being accusatory. Use “I” statements like “I feel like we’re not spending enough quality time together” instead of saying “You don’t love me anymore”.

The point is to get him to see how you feel without getting defensive because you want him to do something about it instead of retreating further into himself. 

Got it?

6) Your husband has something to hide

Like what?

I don’t know. But you can feel it in your bones. Maybe it’s not another woman, but you’re pretty sure that there’s something going on that he’s not being open about.

Did he spend all your savings? Did he lose his job?

There is only one way to find out – and that’s to talk to him.

Stop snooping around or making up a million possibilities in your head about why you’re having this dream. The longer you do, the more you’ll feel bothered and paranoid.

You’ll never truly know unless you talk about it.

7) He doesn’t respect you

If you feel like your husband doesn’t respect you, it makes total sense that you’d dream about him cheating on you with another woman.

I mean think about it: Sleeping with someone else while married to you is one of the most disrespectful things he could do to you.

But was he always disrespectful or is this something recent?

You need to address this issue ASAP because I don’t see how you can have a happy and healthy relationship without respect.

So let your man know that the least you expect in your relationship is to be treated with respect and that if he can’t give you that, then you don’t think that you want to stay married to him.

Trust me, you deserve to be with someone who respects and treats you right. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than that.

8) You have abandonment issues

If you have abandonment issues and you’re dreaming about your husband cheating on you, I’m not at all surprised.

Abandonment issues can arise from various experiences, such as:

  • Neglect and abandonment by parents, being raised by emotionally unavailable parents, or being put in foster care or up for adoption
  • Traumatic experiences such as any kind of abuse or assault
  • Being abandoned by a romantic partner in the past

It’s only natural that there would be consequences after what you went through.

I suggest talking to your husband about your abandonment issues. Don’t be scared to open up to him about your past – he’s your husband, he loves you, and you’re safe with him.

He needs to know what you’re going through so that he can understand any unusual behavior you may exhibit and give you the support you need.

What’s more, I really think it could help to speak to a therapist about your abandonment issues.

I know that people often think it’s enough to speak to a spouse or friend about what’s going on, but a therapist can offer objective insight based on years of study and experience.

If you want to deal with your abandonment issues and get rid of them once and for all, therapy is the way to go. The choice, of course, is yours to make.

9) Your father cheated on your mother

It’s a big deal for kids when their parents break up, especially when it’s because one of them cheats.

I have a friend whose dad cheated on her mum and eventually left her for that other woman and started a whole new family with her.

And my friend? Hasn’t had a single normal relationship with a guy. She just can’t trust them and keeps expecting them to turn out like her dad.

If this is your case, I understand how hard it is for you to trust a man. But just remember, your husband is not like your dad. You need to give him the benefit of the doubt and give your marriage and love a fighting chance.

10) You just don’t trust the guy

Okay, so maybe there’s a reason that you’re dreaming about your husband cheating. Maybe he’s given you cause not to trust him.

Whether the dream is really about cheating or betrayal, if you think your husband is doing something fishy behind your back, then it’s no wonder that you’re having this recurring dream.

The solution?

Confront him. See if there’s an explanation for his behavior. But if you still feel that something’s not quite right, you may want to ask yourself if your marriage is worth staying in. I mean, if you can’t trust the person closest to you and it’s not because of any trust issues you’ve got, then your marriage isn’t based on a steady foundation now is it?

11) You’ve been cheated on before

You fall in love and give your heart to another person. And what happens?

They cheat on you!

How can you trust anyone ever again?

You have trouble opening up to another person after your horrible experience, but then your husband comes along…

You fall in love and what the heck, you let him in.

The only problem is, you know how much it hurts to be betrayed by someone you love, so even though you know your husband is a good guy and would never do that to you, deep down, you can’t help but be afraid that he’ll cheat on you too. Hence, the dreams.

I get it. I really do.

But your husband is not that guy who cheated on you. In the end, it’s his actions—who he is in real life—that say more about him than your dreams.

Jelena Dincic

Jelena has a background in photography and film-making and has spent the last few years as a content editor and copywriter. Jelena is a citizen of the world who is passionate about travel and learning about new cultures. She’s a foodie who loves to cook. And, as an art lover, she is always experimenting with new art mediums. When she’s not at her computer, she’s usually out and about in some forest with her dogs.

12 ways to stay positive (even when life is tough)

10 signs you’re more creative than you think you are