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Don’t panic! 18 signs he doesn’t want to break up with you

Think your boyfriend might want to break up with you?

It can be really stressful when you’re in a relationship and you don’t know if your man is just in a grumpy mood, or if he is actually dropping clues that he wants to end the relationship.

The good news is that 9 times out of 10 it’s just your boyfriend having an extra stressful week.

But sometimes, when things feel off, they legitimately are off and your boyfriend might be second-guessing the relationship.

I know the kind of worry you’re dealing with right now, so let’s settle your mind and go through the signs that suggest he doesn’t want to break up with you.

If your boyfriend shows these 18 signs, then you can calm down because he definitely doesn’t want to end the relationship.

1) He maintains the same level of communication with you.

A person on the brink of breaking up with you will always be harder to talk to because they’re starting to close themselves off.

In cases like these, every conversation feels more like an interrogation and you will always find yourself fishing for answers.

If your partner is unhappy, he definitely won’t talk to you any more than he needs to.

However, your man probably isn’t planning to break up if he’s constantly reaching out to you.

Much like when you were starting to get to know each other, he’s still doing his best to reach you — come rain or shine.

He continues to call, text or message just to check on you and see how you’re feeling.

More importantly, he’s willing to sit next to you and talk it out for both big issues and trivial jokes.

When your boyfriend is willing to talk and listen to you, you can be sure he is eager to continue the relationship.

2) He still protects you.

When a man is committed to a relationship, he’ll go out of his way to protect you. Having protective instincts is very natural for a man.

The willingness to protect will manifest in various small ways, including:

  • When you go somewhere shady or dangerous, he’ll go with you
  • If someone is talking bad about you, he’ll step up and defend you
  • If you ever need help for any reason, he’ll lend a hand.

If your man is still going out of his way to protect you, even in these small ways, then he’s still committed. It’s unlikely he wants to break up with you.

The even better news is that you’ve triggered his hero instinct.

If you haven’t heard of the hero instinct before, it’s a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.

What it boils down to is that men have a biological urge to protect the women they want to be with. They want to step up for her and be appreciated for his actions.

In other words, men want to be an everyday hero.

I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need a hero in their lives.

But here’s the ironic truth.

Men do still need to feel like they are a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out a relationship with a woman that makes them feel like one.

The hero instinct is probably the best kept secret in relationship psychology and holds the key to a loving and long lasting relationship.

If you want to learn more about it, watch this excellent free video.

This video reveals the texts you can send, phrases you can say, and simple things you can do to bring out this very natural male instinct.

Here’s a link to the video again.

3) He’s still open and honest.

When men are young boys, they are often taught to toughen up because it’s the ‘manly’ thing to do.

This is one reason why most men have trouble being transparent with their feelings.

Being in a romantic relationship, however, usually helps men overcome this wall. And it’s a good sign if your boyfriend still confides in you.

You can be sure your guy isn’t planning to leave you if he’s still telling you the truth, clearing up any misunderstandings immediately, and giving you a heads up for every move he takes.

He won’t waste time being dishonest or concealing his emotions because he takes you and your relationship seriously.

If he reassures you that he won’t break up with you, you can be certain that he’ll keep his word.

4) He isn’t afraid to argue or correct you.

Arguing is inevitable between two people, especially those who were raised with different backgrounds or contradictory perspectives.

However, a hallmark of a healthy relationship is when a couple can argue constructively and fight fair. A guy who isn’t going to break up with you is surely going to argue with you.

It sounds weird at first. After all, how can arguments be a sign of a good relationship?

According to psychology, couples who stop arguing are those who have already given up.

They don’t want to talk about it anymore because they no longer have the energy to preserve the relationship.

On the other hand, if your boyfriend is trying to raise constructive arguments with you, he’s choosing to fix the problem at hand.

To clarify, being argumentative isn’t the same as being cruel or verbally abusive. He isn’t picking on you or trying to hurt you on purpose.

Rather, he wants to move things forward or solve the issue.

A loving boyfriend also won’t keep quiet if you do something wrong; he’ll correct you because he wants you to improve. He cares enough to call you out on your mistakes.

5) He’s around all the time, for good and bad.

There is a reason why traditional wedding vows talk about staying together ‘for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health’.

A boyfriend who’s always there for you is someone who plans on staying with you for a long time.

Unlike an absentee boyfriend who’s never there when you need him, a reliable guy who sticks with you through thick and thin is in this for the long haul.

In life, celebrations and tragedies are bound to occur. And your boyfriend is by your side whenever something serious happens.

He supports you through tough times and enjoys the good times with you. If your boyfriend doesn’t waver from your side, he’s a great person to be with.

6) He appreciates the little things you do for him.

All too often, relationships fail because one party neglected to appreciate the other.

Boyfriends who are planning to break up are often more likely to take their girlfriends for granted because they aren’t paying attention to the good qualities of their partner anymore.

He’s not spending his time thinking about your sense of humor, or how good of a cook you are, or even how you’re always asking him about his day.

So if your guy is still appreciating all those little things you do for him, he’s still head-over-heels in love with you.

Sometimes, guys aren’t appreciative because they’ve already become complacent in the relationship.

You might seem content already, so they don’t feel the need to shower you with compliments or affection.

However, a truly caring partner will always notice any little thing you offer whether it be your advice, concern, or care.

For any healthy couple, expressing gratitude is a core strength.

Neither of you have to dress nicely on dates or help each other perform house chores; you simply do it for your partner because you want to — and that deserves appreciation.

Beware if your guy suddenly stops reminding you how awesome you are, how great you look, or how great you are at your job when he used to before.

Either he’s planning to break things off or he’s simply become a jerk. Regardless, you definitely deserve better.

7) He feels you appreciate him

For a man, feeling appreciated is often what separates “like” from “love”.

Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your guy loves your strength and abilities to be independent. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!

This is because men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else —  or worst of all, someone else.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel appreciated, and to be there for the woman he cares about.

Relationship expert James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I mentioned this concept above.

If your man genuinely feels appreciated for the things he does for you, he’s going to stay committed to you and your relationship.

Because you’re giving him what he really wants from your relationship.

How do you go about triggering his hero instinct? And taking your relationship to the next level?

In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.

In his new video, James Bauer reveals the simple things you can do. He reveals phrases, texts and little requests that you can use right now to make him feel more appreciated.

Click here to watch the free video.

8) He introduces you to his loved ones.

If he is the type that introduces you to his loved ones and family, my dear he is for real and doesn’t want to break up with you.

He may break up with you after taking you to his parents and loved ones, but that should be a problem that you may have caused without knowing that you are doing.

And to avoid that, you should not take your lifestyle, be yourself so that you won’t make the mistake of ruining your lovely relationship with you.

Some ladies think that if a man introduces them to his parents and loved ones that they have nailed the man, and from that point, they will start misbehaving and showing their true selves.

It’s only a fake woman that does that, so be wise. Be yourself and don’t pretend to be kind.

Listen, if a guy wants to dump you, he’ll slowly stop taking you to his parents’ house or inviting you over to chill with his friends.

He doesn’t want his family to experience any awkwardness or sad goodbyes. But your boyfriend still brings you over to his parents and everyone acts normal around you.

9) He forgives you for your mistakes.

Sometimes he might pretend he doesn’t like you, but the ultimate truth in any relationship is that neither of you is perfect. Your partner will most likely do something that we find insensitive, offensive, or just plain dumb.

And it’s not uncommon to feel hurt, insulted, or angry afterward.

However, the ability to forgive each other and move forward speaks volumes about your bond and its potential for longevity.

For a dedicated boyfriend, he won’t waste too much time to forgive you for mistakes, especially if you ask for his forgiveness.

In many cases, a guy who was planning to break up with you would most likely use the opportunity as an excuse to leave you.

He wouldn’t bother to give you a chance to make up for any perceived offense because he wasn’t planning to stay for long.

Depending on what he chooses to do, it also speaks volumes about his character. Choosing to forgive, even if it’s hard, is definitely the healthier choice

10) He always listens to you.

What does your boyfriend do when you’re talking about your day? Does he continue to scroll through his phone and mumble “yeah” or “okay”? Or does he turn everything off to tune into what you’re saying?

Based on how he treats you when you speak, you can easily tell if your man is planning to stay with you or not.

If a person doesn’t like you, they’re not likely to spend their time listening to you speak.

A partner who zones out while you’re talking or only grunts his responses is probably not as invested in the relationship as you are — and if so, why stay with him?

In contrast, a boyfriend who invests his time to genuinely listen when you’re talking is for keeps.

Aside from actively participating in the conversation, it’s also a great sign if your boyfriend asks for your thoughts and opinions.

It shows he respects and values your perspectives, even if they’re contrary to his.

11) He can adjust for your needs.

Every successful relationship requires a great deal of compromise.

Any man who loves and cares about you will definitely take your needs and wants into consideration, instead of only doing what he wants.

If your boyfriend puts more effort — especially if you’ve made your needs clear — it shows he wants to continue the relationship.

Here are a few ways you can tell if he’s adjusting for you:

He takes an interest in your interests: Sure, he might not personally like the things you enjoy, but he’s definitely happy to be with you and watch you when you’re indulging in your passions or interests.

Even though he’d prefer to watch an action movie or switch to the sports channel, he’s willing to watch a rom-com with you because it’s what you like.

He pays attention to your comfort: When you’re sick, he’s there to help take care of you.

When you’re stumped with work, he supports you through an all-nighter with food and coffee.

If your boyfriend is like this, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

A guy who doesn’t love you wouldn’t bother with these gestures; a man who provides physical, mental, and emotional support (even if it’s inconvenient for him) is a wonderful partner to have.

He agrees to give up habits you don’t like: When you begged him to stop with the excessive drinking/smoking/gaming, did he stop?

If so, it means you matter more to him than his habits.

Rather than ignoring you or ending the relationship for ‘cramping his style’, it shows he is willing to change his behaviors to save the relationship.

If your boyfriend displays most of the above, you can rest assured he isn’t planning to dump you anytime soon.

However, don’t simply take his consideration for granted; be sure to adjust and make changes for him as well.

12) He doesn’t act cold and distant.

If someone wanted to dump you, you would definitely notice them slowing pulling away from you.

He would bail out of plans, make excuses to stop seeing you as often, or stop texting and calling like he used to.

While this withdrawal may be due to something happening in his external or internal world, you should watch out if there’s less and less of him in your life for an extended period.

Aside from zero communication, you may also notice cold behavioral changes like:

Being cold and distant is a huge sign that your partner wants to break things off with you.

On the contrary, you have absolutely nothing to worry about if he’s spending more time with you than ever.

If he’s consistently open, warm, and sweet towards you, then you don’t need to fear anything.

13) He exerts effort to fix the relationship.

When a relationship is hitting the rocks, both partners have to work together to repair the bond. Otherwise, it’s futile if only one person tries.

A guy who loves you won’t sit around and watch everything go wrong. He’ll do something about it and find solutions to fix the problem, rather than agree blindly to what you say.

Whether it’s couples counseling, regular date nights, or other gestures of affection and attention, a man who is determined to stay with you will figure out ways to bring you closer to each other.

You’ll know he’s sincere about you if he does everything he can to repair the relationship.

14) He considers you in his plans.

A man who isn’t going to break up with you will connect all his plans for the future to you.

All the conversations about his projects, career, or travel plans for “someday” takes you into consideration.

The conversation is about the “us” of the relationship, and not just him. It’s a really good sign if he’s including you in these thoughts and asking for your take on things as well.

If he never brings up the idea of the future with you, it’s likely that he isn’t factoring you in it yet.

It’s always possible, though, that he’s overwhelmed with life right now and hasn’t realized that he should be planning for a future already, let alone one with someone else in the picture.

15) He makes time for you.

It’s understandable if your guy cancels on one or two dates with you if he’s feeling tired or under the weather.

In fact, this happens a lot among partners because life can be draining.

For a healthy relationship, what matters is making the other person a priority and being sure to catch up with them when you can.

If your guy does his best to call on you, visit you, and take you out on dates regularly, then there’s no doubt that he’s going to continue your relationship.

16) He comforts you when you’re upset.

One of the best things about being in a relationship is having a reliable support system you can count on.

Nothing feels better than knowing your partner has your back and will comfort you when you’re experiencing difficult times.

You’re lucky if your partner is ready to comfort through hardships; it means he’s willing to stick with you through thick or thin.

Of course, this doesn’t mean becoming completely reliant on your partner to make you happy or to get you out of a bad mood.

Rather, it’s knowing that they’ll be a shoulder to cry on whenever you need one.

17) He brings out the best in you.

We all want our loved ones to be at the best and happiest. A guy who truly cares for you will always want you to shine and overcome anything you lack.

He may do this by encouraging you to pursue the next level in your career, supporting you in your health or fitness goals, or helping you work through any insecurities and fears you have.

Whatever brings happiness and growth in your life, he would never be selfish; he will always side with decisions that are better for your sake. If a guy does this, he really wants to pursue a serious commitment with you.

18) He’s happy when you’re near.

A sure sign that your boyfriend doesn’t want to break up with you is if he’s always in a good mood when you’re around.

He’s never fed up with your company; he’d be content to spend the whole day with you.

When he’s happy to be with you, you can be certain that he loves you and wants to retain the relationship.

The opposite holds true as well, however. If he’s not happy no matter how hard you try, or he finds you annoying, he may have second thoughts about staying with you.

Sometimes, it may be because of external stress or a rough patch in his life.

But if he never seems to snap out of his bad mood, it’s best to brace yourself.

After all, no one is entitled to stay with you based on how great the relationship was in the past; all that is really relevant is how you feel about each other now.

Enjoy Your Relationship To The Fullest

Being in a romantic relationship is both exhilarating and terrifying. If you really click with the guy and enjoy being with him, the idea of him leaving you is enough to turn you into a complete mess.

However, it’s best not to let these fears get inside your head. Don’t assume he wants to break up with you without evidence; thinking too much about it will lead you to act in a way that causes actual problems in the relationship.

When you’re so sure of being dumped, it’s bound to happen — but not for the reasons you think. Your insecurities and trust issues have already doomed the relationship to expiry.

The best thing you can do is to stop stressing about it and enjoy the relationship.

The sooner you stop obsessing over imaginary nightmare scenarios, the sooner you give the relationship a chance to survive and grow.

And remember, your boyfriend chose you because he wants to be with you.

His feelings won’t suddenly change overnight; if they do, it probably means he isn’t right for you or he wasn’t serious about the relationship.

It’s ultimately up to you to keep your negative thoughts under control because if you truly believe something, nothing he says will change what you think.

Once you take the pressure off and have fun, you’re sure to forge a deeper, truly meaningful connection with him.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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