Being left by the one you love is like a knife to the ribs.
It’s blinding, painful and crippling. You’re left there wondering if you’ll survive.
And somewhere along the line, you also want to know if she’s feeling the same pain, too.
Here’s how to tell.
Does she regret leaving me? 11 signs she definitely does!
1) Regret vs. sadness
First off, let’s be clear on the difference between regret and sadness.
Your ex may be very sad about breaking up but not regret it one bit.
Regret is a different emotion than sadness.
Although the two often combine (for example you could feel sadness as a result of regret) they are not actually the same thing.
Regret is wishing things had turned out differently.
Your ex may be sad and regretful about what happened, or she may just be sad but fully accepting and glad that it’s over.
Figuring out the difference between the two and how she feels is the key to potentially getting back together.
“The good news was that yes, regret is completely normal after a breakup.
“The bad news is that sometimes you’ll never get confirmation if an ex is regretting their decision to break up with you.”
I would just add that there are some ways you can find out if she regrets the breakup, which is what I will explore in this article.
2) Before you dive deeper, do this
I want to get to the ways you can tell if she regrets the breakup.
But first it’s important to take a look at your current status.
Whether you’re single or dating someone new, you have an opportunity while you’re on your own to make enormous progress in your relationship.
The truth is, most of us overlook an incredibly important element in our lives:
The relationship we have with ourselves.
I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his genuine, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
He covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, such as codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without even realizing it.
So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but his experiences in love weren’t much different to yours and mine.
Until he found a way to overcome these common issues. And that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you’re ready to make that change today and cultivate healthy, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, check out his simple, genuine advice.
3) She reacted dramatically after the breakup
Now let’s get into the signs she regrets parting ways.
The first sign is that the breakup was dramatic. She didn’t let you down softly, in other words.
She stormed out, shouted, blocked you everywhere and even swore at you and wished you ill.
This is not the behavior of someone who’s fine with the breakup and reached a point of deep inner resolve.
It’s the behavior of someone who’s broken up over breaking up and doing it in the heat of the moment.
4) She’s asking your friends about you
The next clear sign she regrets leaving you is that she’s asking your friends about how you’re doing.
Why would she be asking if she’s really over you?
Just to be nice?
It’s possible, maybe, but that’s highly unlikely.
It’s far more likely that she’s trying to take your temperature after the breakup because she regrets leaving you.
Short of reaching out directly to you (which I’ll get to later), her best route is through those who know you.
This generally means your friends, although in some cases she may also reach out to family members and coworkers to ask about you.
5) A relationship coach confirms it
Breakups can be painful and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next.
I know that I was always skeptical about getting outside help, until I actually tried it out.
Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like the uncertainties and regrets of breakups.
Personally, I tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions.
My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
6) She’s all over you on social media
Another one of the big signs that your ex regrets parting ways is that she’s all over your digital trail.
She may not be liking posts and stories, but she’s looking at them.
She’s also reading messages you send her even if she’s not responding, and you see her pop up online frequently.
You’re on her mind, even if she’s still debating reaching out to you or not.
She clearly has that in mind as an option and misses the time you were together.
As I mentioned, if she mass-blocked you on her accounts after the breakup then you won’t be able to see if she’s using alt accounts to check you out.
But at the same time you can be quite sure that if the relationship was serious she won’t just be snapping out of it in a week.
7) You level up, and get back in touch
If you’ve tried leveling up since the break up, good for you.
This means focusing on your relationship with yourself like I mentioned above in the relationships masterclass.
It means things like working on your personal fitness, mental health and social life because you can, not out of any expectation of a reward.
This is known as outcome independence, which I’ll discuss later.
The point is, if you’ve been working on becoming the best version of yourself possible and you reach back out to her, this is very likely to trigger regret on her part.
That’s especially true if you’ve leveled yourself up because you want to, not to prove anything to her.
She’ll notice that you’ve become a more attractive and self-assured man and she’ll want a piece of it.
That’s when the regret kicks in hard for leaving you.
As dating advisor Dan Bacon explains:
“You quickly level up in ways that she wasn’t expecting you to and then you interact with her.
“You don’t level up in ways that she wasn’t expecting you to and then remain cutting off contact with her and hope that she somehow finds out through the grapevine or someone tells her.”
8) She’s incredibly jealous of your new life
Another one of the bright shining signs that she’s regretting walking away from you is jealousy.
It’s not a pleasant emotion, and it doesn’t necessarily say great things about her that she’s feeling it, but it’s definitely a sign of regret.
If she’s acting jealous when she sees you and trying to poke into your business and find out who you’re dating or how serious it is, that’s not a woman who’s over you and satisfied with her decision.
That’s a woman who’s full of regret and wants to get you back.
Whether you give her a chance or not is an entirely different question.
9) She tries to seduce and sext you
Next up in the regret laundry list is when she tries to sext and seduce you.
Maybe she’s just feeling horny? Perhaps.
But there’s a (rather cynical) saying that I think works here:
“Guys fake love to get sex, women fake sex to get love.”
It’s obviously a stereotype and not always true by any means, but generally speaking women don’t reach out to an ex just because they’re feeling turned on.
They do it because they’re missing him and regretting the decision to break up (and maybe feeling a little frisky, too).
If you’re the one who reaches out and tries to get naughty, that’s a different story.
But if she does it, then there’s probably some romantic regret lurking right there close to the surface.
10) She’s acting like she doesn’t care at all
Another huge sign she regrets letting you go is that she acts like she doesn’t care at all.
She moves on, doesn’t block you and acts like you were never together, barely even recognizing you if you bump paths in public.
Now, you might be thinking:
Doesn’t this just mean she never cared about you in the first place?
Unlikely. Even those who didn’t care much still feel some sadness about letting someone down.
A woman who shows no emotion at all after a breakup is usually burying a lot of pain and regret.
She is not being honest with herself, and putting on a brave face to convince herself as much as the outside world and you.
“Show me an asshole and I’ll show you a guy who got hurt by the love of his life.
“Show me someone who is sarcastic and quick, I’ll show you someone who is insecure and hiding that through making people laugh. Show me a player and I’ll show you a guy who got beat at his own game.”
The exact same thing goes for women who leave guys. They might look tough as hell on the outside, but on the inside there is definitely a world of pain.
11) She makes contact again like nothing happened
Last and not least is that she makes contact with you and tries to pick up where you left off.
Often she’ll try to play it like you were just taking a break instead of a breakup.
This is basically a form of gaslighting, particularly if she’s the one who broke up with you.
After all, it’s not like you’re having false memories about parting ways.
Nonetheless, it’s a good sign if you want her back.
You thought she was gone for good…
But here she is, wanting to try again.
“Sure, you can be cordial, but if you realize after a few days that they are chummy with you again like nothing happened, this may indicate that they want to get back with you.
“This is because they think that after time heals all wounds, you have already forgiven them and you can start a relationship with them again,” writes Fae Esperas.
Whether or not you go for it is a different question.
But you can be sure that she’s regretting your breakup and wanting another chance with you.
How to get her back
Getting your ex back is not always easy, but sometimes it’s possible.
The key is to become outcome independent.
This is where you don’t depend on an outcome to take action.
I want you to commit to the following:
- Set real goals and work at them for your physical fitness
- Develop your career skills and improve your financial situation
- Pay attention to your mental health and work on it
- Make new friends and reconnect with old ones
- Cultivate inner integrity and authenticity even if you’re alone
Now I want you to accept the following reality as if your life depended on it (because in a way it does).
If you do these things and stick to them you might not get your ex back. She may be gone for good.
But if you do them with heart and determination you will soon meet someone who rocks your world in a way you never imagined.