“Does my wife love me?” Here are 17 signs she doesn’t

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“Does my wife love me?”

Are you asking yourself this question?

When she’s a little moody and down in the dumps, but then all of a sudden she’s happy as daylight, it can be tough to figure it out.

But don’t worry, we’ve all been there before. Females aren’t exactly easy to understand.

The good news?

Once you learn about female psychology and female emotions, you’ll have an easier time working out if your wife still loves you.

So in this article, we’re going to explore the surefire signs that she might have fallen out of love with you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.

17 signs your wife doesn’t love you

Image credit: Shutterstock – Cookie Studio

1. She’s not communicating with you anymore

News flash:

Females love communication, especially with the man they love.

While we all have days where we don’t really want to talk, if this is becoming a trend when she used to be quite chatty, then, unfortunately, she might be falling out of love with you.

It’s no secret that females are more talkative than males, so something must be up if she ain’t willing to shoot the shit with you anymore.

How to figure it out?

Sit down with her and ask her some questions on topics you know she is usually very chatty about.

If she seems excited to communicate like she used to, great! If not, then you might want to directly ask her what’s up.

2. She’s moody all the time, but only with you

Let’s be honest:

Women are emotional creatures.

Sometimes they’re angry for no logical reason, and other times, they are as happy as Larry.

But here’s what you need to look out for:

If she’s cheery and happy with other people, but consistently down in the dumps with only you, then that’s not a good sign.

Is the sound of you chewing your food bugging her?

Is she getting annoyed at even the slightest inconvenience you’ve caused her?

These kinds of things can be normal when it’s around that time of the month for her, but if it’s been happening for weeks then you might have an issue on your hands.


Being consistently annoyed with you doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t love you, but it does mean that there’s something about your relationship that’s annoying her.

For example:

It could be that she’s waiting for you guys to have kids (if you haven’t already), or she doesn’t agree with your plan for the future.

Whatever it is, it might be time to ask her why she’s so consistently annoyed with you.

3. She just won’t listen to you or take your advice

We can all agree that in a healthy relationship, listening is paramount.

You respect what your partner has to say and you listen to them when they talk.

That’s relationship rule 101.

So naturally, if your wife can’t be bothered listening to what you to say, then I’m sorry to say but there’s a lack of respect.

And when there’s a lack of respect, there’s a lack of love.

According to Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “Trust is one of the keystones of any relationship—without it two people cannot be comfortable with each other and the relationship lacks stability.”

So perhaps unsurprisingly:

If you offer her advice, and she never seems to act upon it, then that might not be a good sign.

Strong relationships are built on respect and trust, and if that’s lacking from her point of view, then she might not love you.

4. There’s a complete lack of intimacy

Forget what some people say, the little things DO count.

When she hugs and kisses you goodbye, it shows she cares for you and is going to miss you throughout the day.

When she snuggles up to you while watching a movie, it shows that she feels safe in your arms.

Make no mistake about it.

But if she’s not doing any small affectionate acts like this (and she used to), then, unfortunately, she may not love you.

The reason is simple.

These small signs of affection reveal where her mind is at. They’re hard to fake after all.

Yes, it’s normal for her to be less affectionate on some days, particularly if you have kids, but as I’ve mentioned above, if this is becoming a trend then it’s an indication that she might not love you.

5. She always seems distracted

Now, this obviously isn’t a sign by itself. Everyone can get distracted for different reasons. It could be a work or family issue that’s plaguing her mind.

But let’s face it. If she’s distracted ONLY when she’s with you, then that could be a problem.

Is it hard for her to stay in a conversation? Is she always looking over her shoulder?

If she’s fallen out of love with you, you’ll find that she is almost disconnecting herself from the relationship.

She might even tell you that she loves you, but remember, actions don’t lie!

According to psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson:

“Pay twice as much attention to how someone treats you than what they say. Anybody can say they love you, but behavior doesn’t lie. If someone says they value you, but their actions indicate otherwise, trust their behavior.”

If she just can’t seem to focus her attention on anything to do with you, and this is becoming a trend, then it might be that she’s decided that there might be no future, and this is her way of letting you down gently.

If you’re seeing this symptom, as well as some of the others I mention in this article, it doesn’t necessarily mean your wife doesn’t still love you. However, you do need to start taking action to stop the degradation of your marriage.

Watch this video right now to learn about 3 techniques that will help you repair your relationship (even if your wife isn’t interested at the moment).

6. She’s never checking in on you anymore

We’ve all experienced this before. Your girlfriend or wife constantly checks in on you.

“What are you doing now hun?” “Miss you babe…how’s work?”

While it’s annoying, it does show you they care.

But let’s be honest.

If she used to do this all the time, but now it’s crickets, then that could obviously be an issue.

It’s normal for the passion to die down once you’re married, but communication should never cease completely.

In fact, some couples even become closer when they finally get married.

So if suddenly you aren’t receiving any texts from your wife, then that might be an unfortunate indicator that she doesn’t love you.

The simple truth is this:

If you have an important meeting at work, and she hasn’t even asked how it went, then that could be a sign that she just isn’t invested in your life anymore.

Recommended reading: 8 reasons why your girlfriend isn’t respecting you (and 7 things you can do about it)

7. She is dressing differently for work or social events

As guys, we don’t really notice this stuff. Women’s fashion just isn’t that important.

But it is something to watch out for.

If your wife suddenly cares about her appearance again after years of just bumming around in a t-shirt and jeans, lazing on the couch with her hair in a messy bun, and not putting much effort into a night out, something is definitely wrong.

What does all this mean?

Maybe she’s trying to impress another person. It’s unthinkable, I know.

According to Dr. Phillips in Bustle, you may also want to have a look for a change in their grooming habits:

“If your partner comes home and jumps right into a long shower, they may be washing away any evidence of cheating.”

But if she’s fallen out of love you, then she might be trying to get attention from another guy.

Sure, it could be a sign that she has renewed confidence in herself and she’s just trying to give a good appearance at work, but there might also be other reasons for the change.

8. She has completely stopped inviting you out with her friends

One sign that she might be falling out of love with you is if she is suddenly spending more time with her friends, but never inviting you.

If she simply doesn’t invite you or even insists that you stay home, then it’s time to be concerned.


Because she may be leaving you out of the equation as she has told her friends how she is really feeling about you.

Think about it. She doesn’t want any awkward situation to come about.

If she’s not giving you the details about your get together and she never lets you know who’s been out with then that could be a sign that she’s trying to playing innocent when really, she’s been bitching about you all night.

You can try and insist on going to meet her friends with her, but if she gets mad, then it’s time to ask why.

9. She has started to talk about the future in a different way

One thing’s for sure:

When your marriage is moving along swimmingly, you’re always happy to talk about the future.

In fact, that’s one of the biggest reasons for getting married in the first place.

You want to spend the rest of your life together and grow something beautiful for the future.

So if she used to talk about the future with optimism and excitement and now she doesn’t even want to talk about it, that could be a bad sign.

If she’s just not including you in any of her future plans, there could be a reason for that.

She might be thinking of a future that doesn’t include you.

10. She is paying a heap of attention to her phone and not to you

Yes, everyone pays attention to their phone these days. But this is your wife we’re talking about.

If she is unwilling to give you her attention at lunchtime or dinner time and simply wants to play with her phone, then something might be up.

According to Susan Trombetti, “So many times we see partners putting priorities in front of one another. If you are truly in love with someone, you will never make them a second option!”

I don’t want to get any ideas in your head, but it could also be the case she is trying to protect her phone in case any questionable calls or texts come up on her screen.

It could be that she just finds her phone extremely fun, but c’mon, a wife needs to pay her husband some attention.

As we’ve said before, when she can’t even muster the energy to give you any attention at all, then it might be a sign she just isn’t invested in your relationship anymore.

11. She’s not really supporting you anymore

When you’re in a relationship, let alone a marriage, you support your partner’s endeavors unconditionally.

We all know that. After all, you want your partner to succeed. You want them to get that raise at work or finish that marathon.

“A partner who loves you will always do [their] best to truly support you in pursuing your dreams,” Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, told Bustle.

But clearly, if she just isn’t interested and even looks down on your endeavors, then that’s obviously a bad sign.

It could be that she doesn’t agree with your life’s priorities, and that’s fine, but you definitely need to have a talk with her about it.

But if it has nothing to do with that, then it could be that she simply doesn’t love you anymore.

Click here to watch an excellent free video with tips on what to do when you feel like your wife isn’t supporting you (and much more — it’s well worth watching).

The video was created by Brad Browning, a leading relationship expert. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving relationships, especially marriages. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel.

Here’s a link to his video again.

12. She doesn’t even try to make you feel better when you’re feeling down

When life gives you lemons, your wife is meant to show up and make you lemonade.

This is what happens when your wife loves you.

According to Dr. Suzana E. Flores, when someone is in love, they tend to show strong empathy:

“Someone in love will care about your feelings and your well-being…If he or she is able to show empathy or is upset when you are, not only do they have your back but they also probably have strong feelings for you.”

But if she can’t be bothered even trying to make you feel better, then you’ve gotta wonder what the hell her deal is.

The truth is this:

When you’re in love with someone, it hurts you to see them down. All you want them to do is perk up and live life like the way you know they can.

So if she is lacking even this kind of basic empathy for the man she is meant to unconditionally love, that’s definitely not a good sign.

RELATED: I was deeply unhappy…then I discovered this one Buddhist teaching

13. It feels like she is no longer your best friend

When your relationship started getting serious, you were inseparable.

She was your best friend, and you talked about everything with her.

Not only that, but you had fun together.

According to Dr. Suzana E. Flores, a sign someone is in love with is if their focus is purely on you:

“Someone may be in love when they begin to focus a lot of their attention on you, especially in one-on-one settings.”

Now? She just isn’t that close to you, nor does it appear like she is even making an effort to spend more time with you.

Yes, this can be explained sometimes by having children or a new career, but it shouldn’t become a trend.

In fact, children usually bring you closer together.

So if you find yourself with more free time that you used to spend with your wife, then that could be a serious sign that she doesn’t truly love you anymore.

(The Tao of Badass is a popular relationship program for men. Check out out our new The Tao of Badass review here).

14. She’s forgotten all the little things of the past

When love is floating in the air, you remember things you’ve said in previous conversations.

You remember the romantic times you’ve had when you walk past a particular restaurant.

According to Dr. Suzana E. Flores, “Someone in love will remember your birthday, your favorite color, and favorite meal, so the little things they remember and do for you are also meaningful.”

But she doesn’t seem to remember these kinds of things anymore.

When a woman is madly in love, she remembers EVERYTHING. Birthdays, anniversaries, what your favorite meal is.

But now? She just doesn’t seem to care. She has other things on her mind which unfortunately are never you.

Yes, she could have other issues going on her life, and that’s fine, but when the forgetfulness seems to only involve things to do with you, that could be a bad sign she just isn’t interested anymore.

15. She never asks for your opinion anymore

As we’ve said above, you ask for advice from someone you respect.

In fact, it’s one of the biggest indicators that you trust someone and what they’re thinking.

So if she used to turn to you for advice with things that were troubling her, and now she couldn’t care less what you have to say, then that’s obviously a bad sign.

In other words:

It’s a sign of a lack of respect. And without respect and trust, a relationship can’t grow.

16. She’s no longer even jealous

Hear me out on this one.

Jealousy isn’t usually something that’s positive, but if you talk about your sexy-coworker or you’re having a flirty conversation with an attractive woman, and she can’t even muster up the energy to get jealous, well, let’s just put it this way:

It’s not good.

Even in larger groups, if she is truly still in love with you, she will make an effort to get close to you and interrupt you if you’re talking with an absolute bombshell.

Why is jealously a good indicator that she still loves you?

Because it’s an emotion we can’t control.

It means she loves you and she doesn’t want anyone to threaten that.

Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch says:

“Jealousy is among the most human of all emotions. You feel jealous when you think you are going to lose a relationship you really value.”

But if she can’t naturally spark up when you’re talking to a gorgeous lady, then that’s a bad sign that she may be falling out of love with you.

17. She hasn’t been updating her friends and family about what you’ve been doing

This shows that she just isn’t interested in what’s going on in your life.

The fact of the matter is, when you have a marriage, they’re everything.

The first thing you tell your parents about when you catch up with them is how they are.

But nope, she’s lost the passion to even do this. It shows where her mind is at.

And unfortunately her mind isn’t where it should be: on her husband.

Now don’t get me wrong:

We can have other things going on in our life, but when you’re married, that’s always in your top 3 priorities!

That’s just the way it is, and if you don’t like it, don’t get married.

How to save your marriage

First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviors that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they definitely don’t love you. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage.

But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.

The best place to start is by watching this free video by marriage guru Brad Browning. He explains where you’ve been going wrong and what you need to do to make your wife fall back in love with you. Click here to watch the video.

Many things can slowly infect a marriage—distance, lack of communication and sexual issues. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can metamorphosize into infidelity and disconnectedness.

When someone asks me for an expert to help save failing marriages, I always recommend Brad Browning.

Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel.

The strategies Brad reveals in this video are powerful and might be the difference between a “happy marriage” and an “unhappy divorce”.

Here’s a link to the video again.

FREE eBook: The Marriage Repair Handbook

Just because a marriage has issues doesn’t mean you’re headed for divorce.

The key is to act now to turn things around before matters get any worse.

If you want practical strategies to dramatically improve your marriage, check out our FREE eBook here.

We have one goal with this book: to help you mend your marriage.

Here’s a link to the free eBook again.

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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