It happens to all of us.
You meet someone, get to know them and pretty soon find yourself liking them.
You think about them and their eyes, their smile, their face and their lips that are so… — wait, wait wait. Hold on for a second. You can’t.
After all, you don’t want to have feelings for someone who may not like you back.
That’s why you need to know the answer to this question:
Does my crush like me?
After all, nothing feels better than having a crush and finding out your crush likes you too.
It’s when you see that they enjoy your company, laugh at your jokes, and spend more time with you. Suddenly, the possibility of them liking you back isn’t too far from your reality.
But how exactly do you know if that person likes you?
I put together 28 sure-fire ways to know if your crush might be crushing on you too.
1. They ask about your relationship status
If a person likes you, they probably want to know if you’re single or taken.
They’ll either ask you directly whether you have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Or they’ll assume you have one and instead ask questions about who you’ve been spending time with lately. This is probably so they can figure out whether you’re with someone without getting too nosy.
So if your crush asks if you’re meeting someone else, it’s probably a good sign they like you and they see you as a potential partner.
QUIZ: “Does he like me?” Every woman has asked this question at least once about a guy. I’ve put together a fun quiz to help you figure out whether he likes you. Take my quiz here.
2. He feels like a hero
Even if you guys are just getting to know each other, here’s one surprising way a woman in particular can tell if a crush likes her.
Does the guy feel needed when you hang out together? Is he allowed to step up to the plate for her? Does she let him provide for and protect her (in both little and big ways)?
It could be as little as making sure she’s safe when you’re crossing a busy road or putting his arm around her when she’s feeling vulnerable.
If he does this, then chances are he likes her a lot.
There’s a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.
It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
The simple truth is that men have a biological urge to provide for and protect women. It’s hardwired into them.
By making a guy feel like a hero, it unleashes his protective instincts and the most noble aspect of his masculinity. Most importantly, it will unleash his deepest feelings of attraction.
I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
The hero instinct is a legitimate concept in relationship psychology that I personally believe has a lot of truth to it.
And there’s an art to making a man feel like a hero that’s actually a lot of fun when you know what to do. There are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can make to trigger his hero instinct.
To learn more about these emotional trigger points, check out this free online video by relationship expert James Bauer.
Some ideas really are life-changing. And for romantic relationships, I think this is one of them.
3. They know things about you that you didn’t tell them
This is a classic sign!
If your crush happens to know a lot of things about you and you’re wondering why, chances are they have done some research about you.
Your crush may have asked a friend of yours, stalked your social media accounts, or they’ve been crushing on you long before you even realized that you’re crushing on them.
If this is the case, this could be a sign that your crush is interested in you and they took some extra effort to get to know you.
4. They look at you … a lot
People say that the eyes are the window to the soul.
If you catch your crush looking at you more than you would expect them to, it could be a sign that they like what they are seeing.
If there are no evident reasons for your crush to look at you but they still do, you can take that as a sign of interest.
Or maybe you’ve got something on your face. Let’s just hope it’s the former.
5. Their friends act weird when you’re together
It’s a strange feeling to be around two people who like each other. Sometimes, we don’t even know these people like each other but we intuitively pick up on the sexual tension.
If your crush’s friends start acting weird whenever you are around or they tease the both of you, the chances are they already can pick up on the tension between you and your crush.
It could even be the case that your crush has already told them and they are trying to give you a hint.
If this is the case, there’s a high chance your crush likes you too but he/she is still not ready to tell you.
Don’t always assume though. Try to get to know your crush first and make sure you’re on the same page before making any early assumptions.
6. What does Sigmund Freud say?
To work out whether your crush likes you or is just playing games, you need real and honest advice.
Having studied relationships and psychology most of my adult life, I know a thing or two about it.
But why not turn to the most famous psychologist of all?
Yes, Dr. Sigmund Freud can tell you whether he likes you or not.
Simply take this brilliant quiz from my friends at Ideapod. Answer a few personal questions and Freud himself will dredge through all the subconscious issues motivating your man to give you the most accurate (and downright fun) answer of all.
Sigmund Freud was the grand master at understanding sex and attraction. This quiz is the next best thing to setting down one-on-one with the famous psychoanalyst.
I took it myself a few weeks ago and was amazed at the unique insights I received.
7. They find ways to get close to you
When we like someone, we subconsciously try to get within their proximity.
It may happen at a party. Someone approaches you and sticks around.
Or perhaps they don’t approach you directly, but they’re always nearby.
Maybe your crush asks you to hang out and get some food with them.
Perhaps they join your local dancing club.
Whatever the situation, if your crush always seems to be around, they probably want to be closer with you.
If your crush is getting closer to you, they probably like you. If your crush also approaches you often and tries to find ways to be near you, it could be a great sign that they are starting to see you more than as a friend.
8. They always reply to your messages
Don’t you hate it when you send someone a message and you only get crickets in return?
This won’t happen with someone who also has a crush on you.
Immediately responding to a message is a hint that someone doesn’t take your attention for granted. If your crush is always trying to initiate conversation and they text back quickly, chances are they like talking with you and they will try to prolong the conversation so they could spend more time getting to know you.
On the other hand, if they take hours and days to reply to you, that might be a sign they’re not into you.
If you want your crush to like you, then you need to grab his attention like a Hollywood screenwriter would.
With so many distractions in the modern world, and other women around, how do you really grab a man’s attention? So that he’s thinking about you and only you?
I’ve recently come across a unique set of psychological triggers that are guaranteed to get your man’s attention. Relationship expert Amy North calls them “attention hooks”.
These attention hooks are the same triggers that Hollywood screenwriters use to draw audiences into their movies and keep them watching the entire show.
Have you ever been so hooked on a TV show you couldn’t stop watching?
Something at the end of each episode made you click “Watch Next Episode” again and again. Almost as if you couldn’t help yourself.
Amy North has taken these exact Hollywood techniques and adapted them for texting men.
Text messages with attention hooks are so powerful because they tap directly into the focus system of a man’s brain. Without even realizing it, he’ll start thinking about you and paying attention to you. Even if he’s miles away or you haven’t spoken in a while.
If you want to learn more about attention hooks and how to use them in your text messages, check out this great free video by Amy North.
I think learning how to properly capture people’s attention is important in many areas of life. But especially when it comes to relationships.
Because when a man’s attention is elsewhere, it’s impossible for him to develop deep feelings of attraction towards you. Only when you fully have his attention will he start to wonder what you’re doing, what you think of him, and when he’ll get to see you next.
9. Their body language changes
The saying “actions speak louder than words” makes a lot of sense when you want to know if a person likes you or not.
From simple gestures such as touching your arms, your shoulders, or holding eye contact with you, you can tell if someone is into you.
If your crush touches you frequently and shows open body language, they might be trying to give you subtle hints. Or they want you to know they are comfortable with your presence.
Here’s the key point:
If you’re not sure whether someone likes you or not, don’t focus so much on what they’re saying. Keep an eye on how they’re acting.
“DOES HE LIKE ME” QUIZ: If you don’t know whether a guy likes you, you need real and honest advice. My new quiz will help you figure it out. Take the quiz here.
10. They tell you something about themselves that nobody knows
Ask yourself this question:
Does your crush open up to you?
If your crush tells you something they normally wouldn’t tell anyone (such as their secrets and embarrassing stories), it shows that you have gained their trust and you are one step closer to being their next partner.
After all, a trustworthy person is a dependable and likable person. So whenever your crush tells you a secret, listen to them and show that you’re the kind of person that could be trusted and depended on.
11. Their mood darkens when you’re with someone else
Do you know the most sinking feeling you can have?
It’s when you see the person you have a crush on with someone else.
Well, it goes both ways.
If you’re hanging out with someone else and your crush starts acting strange, it might be because they are jealous.
As human beings, we all want and need attention. But when that attention isn’t given to us (especially by someone we like) we tend to get jealous and emotions start swirling.
So if your crush starts acting a bit weird and doesn’t want you being with people who could steal you away from them, don’t worry, your crush is probably getting jealous and that is an obvious sign that they like you and they want to keep your attention.
12. They do what you do.
When someone feels comfortable around you, they are going to want you to feel comfortable around them.
Our subconscious creates a situation where they will start to mirror your actions, body language, behavior, and position.
For example, if you are standing with your hands in your pockets, the person pining for your attention is going to stand with their hands in their pockets.
The might not even realize they are doing it, which just makes it even more interesting if you notice before they do.
And if they do notice, they might get weird about it and quickly change positions. But you’ll know their secret.
13. They laugh at everything you do (in a good way!).
Many studies have concluded that funny people are sexy people.
If your crush is laughing at everything you do – in a good way, of course – then there’s a pretty good chance that they are picking up what you’re putting down.
Love makes us see things and people in new ways. It’s why the person you loathe at the office can one day become the person you admire and adore.
Proximity has a lot to do with it but if someone is funny, we see them in a different way.
We want to be close to the people we love.
Again, this is something that we don’t always have conscious control over.
You might sit next to the same guy in the office cafeteria for months and never notice him and then one day realize he’s pretty cute.
The same might be said of him: it’s not that you are sitting next to him every day during lunch, but that he actually comes and sits next to you.
By placing himself near you on a regular basis, proximity takes over and eventually, you’ll notice that he’s there, and he’s cute, and he’s a great guy.
15. They stand facing you
One funny thing that people in love do is stand with their feet facing the person they love.
Even if the rest of their body is turned away from their crush, their feet will always be at the ready to move them closer to someone who is important to them.
If you are in the same room as your crush and are keenly looking away from them trying not to stare, take a quick look at your feet and see what direction they are pointed in – chances are they are facing directly toward the person who has your attention.
Watch for this sign when a guy or girl you think likes you is standing around with some friends. Where, or should we ask, who are their feet pointed toward?
16. He wants to help (and she lets him)
Men thrive on solving women’s problems.
If you have something you need fixed, or your computer is acting up, or if you have a problem in life and you simply need some advice, then seek your man out.
A man wants to feel essential. And he wants to be the first person you turn to when you genuinely need help.
Although asking for your man’s help may seem fairly innocuous, it actually helps to trigger something deep within him. Something that is crucial to a loving, long term relationship.
For a man, feeling essential to a woman is often what separates “like” from “love”
Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your guy loves your strength and abilities to be independent. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!
Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I talked briefly about this concept above.
As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.
So, when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to commit to a relationship with any woman. He holds back because being in a relationship is a serious investment for him. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and purpose and make him feel essential.
How do you trigger this instinct in him? And give him this sense of meaning and purpose?
In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.
In his new video, James Bauer outlines several things you can. He reveals phrases, texts and little requests that you can use right now to make him feel more essential to you.
By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll not only give him greater satisfaction but it will also help to rocket your relationship to the next level.
17. They remember important details and dates.
Someone in love remembers the little things such as birthdays, anniversaries, your cat’s birthday.
They remember because you are important to them. When someone is important to us, we take it upon ourselves to remember things that are important to them.
If you think someone likes you, or maybe even loves you, watch for signs they are paying attention.
Do they remember the exact date when everyone went to the lake together? Do they remember a dress or shirt you wore that one time for a surprise party?
The devil is in the details.
RELATED: 3 ways to make a man addicted to you
18. They touch you.
Someone in love wants to be near you, but also to touch you. They will reach out and touch your arm or hand.
They may brush up against you when passing or touch your leg with their leg when seated at a table.
They might literally play footsie with you under the table. Who knows! The point is that when someone likes you, they want to be physically near you, but they also want to have the sensation of touching you.
If you find yourself reaching for a guy or girl’s arm to make a point, laugh at a joke, or simply make a connection, or if someone is doing that to you, love is surely in the air!
19. They admit it
This is probably the easiest and most direct way to know if your crush likes you too.
You can either be straightforward with your feelings and ask them or you can wait for them to tell you.
But being straightforward may be the best approach. It gives you a chance to be honest with the person you have a crush on, and they also get the chance to admit it back to you.
Admitting your feelings to someone might be embarrassing and nerve-racking from the fear of rejection. But if you really like a person and you want to get to know them better, you might as well tell them.
You can also opt for a safer approach and wait for them to tell you.
But if you both won’t admit your feelings to each other, your relationship is not going anywhere.
So it’s better to rip the band-aid off and get on with it.
There are two things that could happen, both of which are good things:
- Your crush likes you too. You live happily ever after!
- Your crush isn’t into you. You’ll go through some temporary pain, but it will bring you one step closer to someone who actually appreciates you for who you are.
Remember — you are an incredible and unique human being. The brutal truth is that not everyone is going to like you back. Just the same as you not liking everyone who crosses your path.
But that’s okay. It’s what makes life so exciting.
And it is also what gives depth to our relationships.
There’s no greater feeling than having a crush who likes you back. Embrace it. Face it head-on.
Ask your crush if they are into you as well. Only good things can come from it.
20. They use the same body language and slang as you
If it suddenly feels like you’re looking in a mirror when you are talking to them, there’s a good chance that they like you.
Because when someone likes you and has a good rapport with you, then subconsciously they start to act like them.
This can mean using the same mannerisms and hand movements when they are talking. It could mean talking at the same speed. For example, if you’re naturally a slow speaker, and they start speaking slow, that’s a great sign that they like you.
It’s important to remember that they may not necessarily like you romantically. But they do like you, even if it is as a friend.
So if you “see yourself” in their actions, then their feelings could be for real.
This is actually rooted in the brain’s Mirror Neuron System. This network of the brain is the social glue that binds people together.
A greater level of activation of the Mirror Neuron System is associated with liking and cooperation.
21. They lean in when they’re talking to you
When someone is truly listening and interesting in what you’re saying, they’re naturally moving closer and lean in.
This is a subconscious action that signifies interest.
For example, you see this a lot in important business meetings because both parties are invested in the conversation.
What will they do?
They may lower their head, lean in while you talk, and even move their body closers to yours – without even realizing it.
If you’re out at a bar one night, look around. You’ll find that a lot of the men who are trying to pick up girls are naturally leaning in so much that it looks like they might fall over!
22. Are they pointing their feet towards you?
One of the weirdest things that someone does if they genuinely like you is that they will point their feet towards you.
This also happens subsconously.
So if they are turned to talk to someone else, but their feet are pointed in your direction, then there’s a good chance they have a crush on you.
What our feet do is the one thing we don’t consciously control, so it’s an excellent sign that they like you.
23. They blush
Blushing is a natural physical reaction that happens when you receive an unexpected compliment.
It also happens if someone you like gives you the attention and you can’t help but get a pink tinge on your face from embarrassment.
So if you find that they naturally blush around you, that’s a great sign that they like you.
However, it’s important to figure out if they blush around other people as well.
24. They’re chatting to constantly on social media
When someone is on social media, it’s their free time. They could literally be doing anything they want.
So if they’re using that time to talk to you, then that’s a great sign that they enjoy talking with you and spending their free time with you.
What you do need to watch out for is if they’re just giving you one-word answers. That’s not a great sign that they like you.
But if their responses are thoughtful, that’s a great sign that they like you.
25. They stand taller, pull their shoulders back and suck their stomach in
This is a great sign that someone likes you.
Because subconsciously they want to impress you and that means that their body will react accordingly.
A great way to check out their posture is when they walk past you. If they like you, they’ll be very conscious that you’re looking, which means they’ll push their shoulders back, puff their chest out and suck their stomach in.
26. They’re preening themselves
Preening refers to the act of “fixing oneself” in different ways.
It could be adjusting their clothes, running fingers through their hair, or touching their face.
After all, if they like you they want to look better around you. And of course, people are naturally fidgety when they’re anxious and nervous.
And if they like you, it’s likely that they’ll be experiencing nervous tension.
Preening is a subconscious way to advertise one’s interest and encourage you to escalate the seduction.
Here’s an example of a female preening yourself:
27. They’re nervous around you
We can probably all relate to this. When you get those pesky butterflies in your stomach when you’re with someone, it could be a good chance they like you.
After all, the nerves hit because you want to make a good impression for them to like you.
So to figure out of their nervous, look for these signs:
– Are they fidgeting?
– Are they talking faster than usual?
– Are they show nervous body signs like sweating or looking down when you get eye contact?
Remember, some people might hide their nerves fairly well, but if you’re observant, you should be able to notice some physical indicators of nervousness.
And if you can, then there’s a big chance they have a crush on you.
28. Their eyebrow lifts when they watch you
When someone raises both of their eyebrows (or one eyebrow) it means that they are fascinated or interested in what they are looking at.
If that stare is directed at you, then it means that they are picking up what you’re putting down.
And keep in mind that if they are staring at you and lifting their eyebrow while looking at your face, then they have genuine feelings for you.
Want to know the best way to know if they like you? Ask them. Or let them know you like them. There’s no need to play games. Cut to the chase and let them know how you feel.
If you’re crush does like you, then you need to make sure your relationship is a passionate and long lasting one.
But there’s one crucial ingredient to relationship success I think many women overlook:
Understanding what their guy is thinking at a deep level.
Let’s face it: Men see the world differently to you and we want different things from a relationship.
This can make a passionate and long lasting relationship — something that men actually want deep down as well — really difficult to achieve.
While getting your guy to open up and tell you what he’s thinking can feel like an impossible task… there’s a new way to understand what’s driving him.
Men need this one thing
James Bauer is one of the world’s leading relationship experts.
In his new video, he reveals a new concept which brilliantly explains what really drives men in relationships. He calls it the hero instinct. I talked about this concept above.
Simply put, men want to be your hero. Not necessarily an action hero like Thor, but he does want to step up to the plate for the woman in his life and be appreciated for his efforts.
The hero instinct is probably the best-kept secret in relationship psychology. And I think it holds the key to a man’s love and devotion for life.
My friend and Hack Spirit writer Pearl Nash was the person who first introduced the hero instinct to me. Since then I’ve written extensively about the concept on Hack Spirit.
For many women, learning about the hero instinct was their “aha moment”. It was for Pearl Nash. You can read her personal story here about how triggering the hero instinct helped her turn around a lifetime of relationship failure.
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