Does he need space or is he done? 15 ways to tell

Has your partner become distant and drifted away from you? Does he need some time alone or want a break from the relationship?

Now there’s one question that’s been running through your mind – Does he need space or is it over?

But let’s not jump to conclusions right away until we see the truth behind this. See, understanding men isn’t an easy job. And most serious relationships also need a breather every so often.

So let me help you figure out the answer to your question.

Does he need space or is it over? 15 ways to know the truth

I know you can’t help but wonder what that ‘space’ really means. This might even run into your thoughts – “What if he’s seeing someone else and wants to end things?”

Most of us immediately assume that when a man needs space, it means that the relationship is over for good.

Take a step back so you can see things from his point of view. This way, you’ll know the possible reasons why your man needs space in the first place.

The thing is, sometimes men pull away – and it doesn’t even have to be associated with you or your relationship.

Here are ways you can tell if your man is losing interest already or just needs some time off.

1) He thinks the relationship is moving too fast

The truth is that men and women behave differently and on different levels.

This means that women invest their emotions in the relationship more than men do. And we’re ready to take things to the next level.

But, it isn’t true that men care less about their women.

It’s just that men need more time to get to the place in your relationship where you already are.

When it comes to what they want and what they need, men are pretty straightforward.

So if your man thinks that the relationship is moving too fast and he needs space, don’t ignore it.

It’s spot on that he needs some time alone to slow things down. It’s best to meet him halfway and adjust your pace.

2) He feels pressured with the relationship

There could be pressure from his family, friends, or even colleagues to take things to the next level.

Probably, some are asking him to get married, commit more, or have kids already. This creates anxiety and tension.

If you’re also forcing him to do those things, try to relax and let things take their course.

Or maybe you’re being too demanding and possessive. It could also be that he gets stressed as almost everyone he knows is getting married.

The more pressure that your partner feels, the more space he wants and the more he will want to flee.

The best you can do is to give him the space he needs and reassure him that you’re waiting for things to fall into place in their own time.

3) He’s afraid to fully commit to you

Some men tend to pull away when they feel that things are getting too serious.

He’s serious about you but it’s freaking him out.

In this case, never tie him down, for if you do you’ll only push him away. Don’t ask him to be in a situation where he won’t feel comfortable.

Give your man time and space to see things from a different perspective.

If he’s the one you’re meant to be with, he’ll get to accept and express his feelings.

Be warned! If he’s a real-commitment phobe, he’ll run away – and you can’t do anything about it.

And if he’s not, at least you avoid being with someone who wasn’t good for you to start with.

Here are some reasons why men are scared of commitment:

  • They fear being controlled and smothered
  • They’re worried to take the plunge and getting rejected
  • They have trust issues
  • They lack maturity
  • They have other priorities in life
  • They aren’t done playing the field
  • They don’t want to lose their freedom

4) He feels taken for granted

Not being appreciated by someone you love is the most awful feeling in the world.

Maybe your man is asking for some space as he doesn’t feel appreciated enough.  It could be that he’s putting a lot of effort into making you feel special, but you don’t seem to value it.

Or probably, he’s doing things to make your relationship work, but you’re taking everything for granted.

In this case, your man wants you to realize how you’re behaving. For if he feels neglected, you might end up losing him.

So if you love your man, do everything to make him feel valued again. If you’ve been busy lately, try to make it up to him.

I’m sure he’ll understand and love you more for that.

You see, for men, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

I learned about this hero instinct concept from relationship expert James Bauer. This concept explains what drives men and how they think and feel in relationships.

And this is something that most women are clueless about.

When men find someone who knows how to trigger those drivers, they feel better, love harder, and commit stronger.

It turns men into the heroes of their own lives. Forget about Marvel or play as the damsel in distress!

So how can you bring out his inner hero?

The best thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer. He shares easy tips to get you started like sending him a 12-word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

That’s the beauty of the hero instinct concept.

And the truth is, everything is a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) He feels trapped in the relationship

Your man needed breathing room as he might lose a sense of who he was.

When your man feels caged, take this as a sign for you to loosen the reins. If you can’t give him the space he needs, you’ll end up suffocating the relationship.

He desperately needs time to pursue his other interests.

This is a clear sign that you need to step back a little bit. He may just need some privacy and time to himself – so it’s best to give him that.

And there’s nothing to worry about. For when he truly loves you,  no amount of space in this world can drive you away from each other.

6) You got too clingy

When we fall head over heels with a man, they become the center of our world.

Some women tend to become dependent on their men while some become too needy.

Being clingy manifests in different forms such as:

  • Calling him every hour
  • Sending messages throughout the day
  • Panicking when he doesn’t respond quickly
  • Feeling threatened by anyone
  • Not having time with your friends
  • Seeking reassurance of his feelings for you

Your man probably gets exhausted by your emotional demands.

The truth is, you also need some time for yourself.

I understand how much you love him and want to spend every moment with him more than anything else. But you also have to consider setting boundaries and taking care of yourself.

7) He’s stressed and in a bad mood

Maybe he’s dealing with something and wants to deal with it on his own.

When you try to help, he’ll only push you away.

I know it hurts being pushed away when you want to comfort him. But sometimes, men need room to be alone when they’re angry.

Never try to reason out or confront them about their attitude as this will only lead to more arguments.

If your man tells you that he can’t hang out with you for a couple of days, respect that. The best you can do is give him space and allow him to get everything done.

Let him know that you’ll be missing him and that he can call you anytime.

And assure him that you’ll be fine while they are gone because you will be.

8) You argue and fight too much

There are instances wherein fighting benefits a relationship – but only when done in a healthy and constructively way.

It strengthens the bond as partners get to air their views and express themselves without violence – and solve problems together.

When your man pulls away because you’ve been fighting nonstop over trivial matters, then it’s best to give him space.

Use this time-off to overcome your differences and find a common ground. If you both realize that your relationship is worth saving, then stay and reconsider.

But when you criticize, name call, and attack each other personally, fighting becomes toxic. That’s when it becomes destructive to your relationship.

And when you resort to physical fights or verbal abuse, then that’s time you have to say goodbye.

9) He’s a ‘low-value’ partner

Even if you don’t want to admit it, he’s not matching your efforts. He’s never there and you’re the only one doing the giving in the relationship.

Your partner is only giving the bare minimum of his time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions.

Take this sign as a wake-up call.

When he tells you that he needs space, it could be that he already has one foot out the door.

You know that he already has too much space for himself, his friends, and his interests.

Admit to yourself that he’s been neglecting you all along. It’s time to see that this space is the space you need to realize that your relationship isn’t going anywhere.

Maybe he isn’t into you after all.

I know it’s hard. But it’s even harder if you hold on to somebody unworthy of you.

10) He has problems that have nothing to do with you

Most men prefer to take their time and focus on one particular thing instead of multitasking.

If he’s distancing himself from you, there could be issues he needs to resolve. Maybe he’s too stressed at work or having problems with his family.

He’s stepping back to work on personal problems outside of your relationship.

While stepping away from you isn’t the best way to solve his problems, show that you can be a team who supports each other through difficult times.

Let him know that you’re there for him and you have his back no matter what

11) He has lost his sense of self

While this happens in most relationships, this is something that men don’t want to share.

If you’ve been clingy and needy, your partner might feel suffocated in the relationship.

Maybe he feels that you’ve taken away his freedom and sense of privacy. Or it could be that he doesn’t have time to pursue his other interests.

If this is the case, it’s better to take a step back and allow him to have the space he needs.

Don’t worry if he’s the right one for you, your love will only grow stronger in the long run.

Want to get everything back on track?

I mentioned the hero instinct earlier.

When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to return to you with more love after getting the space he needs. You can open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before just by knowing the right words to say!

And the best way to do it is by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

In this video, you’ll learn simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.

12) Your connection doesn’t feel right

There could be several underlying reasons why your vibe might feel a bit off. Probably, he’s stressed, exhausted, or focusing on something else, etc.

Or maybe, your relationship doesn’t have the breathing room it feels strained.

There might be an unhealthy pattern forming in your relationship. This usually happens in long-term relationships.

Are you expecting too much from each other or spending every minute with each other?

So if your boyfriend needs space, he might feel cramped and want to break the unhealthy cycle – give him what he needs.

By possibly creating space, it shows that you’re doing something to make the relationship work.

13) He’s falling off the grid

Does he ignore your messages and doesn’t pick up your calls?

Take these simple things as a hint that things are off.

When a man falls off the grid, you know that he needs time away from you. They seek space rather than confront you head-on.

And this disappearing act may make him leave for good – but how you react will determine if he’s done with the relationship or will come back.

So when your man goes missing in the act, try to understand what’s happening. Even if it’s hard to accept what those reasons could be,  trust that it’s for the best.

Just take this time to do some serious work on your self-esteem, self-love, and self-worth.

14) He may want to end the relationship

When your guy doesn’t seem to spend much time with you and acts coldly when you’re together, he may not be sure about the relationship anymore.

He may be distancing himself and looking for space so that he can start to decrease the seriousness of your relationship.

His need for space could just be an excuse for wanting to end things.

Think carefully about your situation. If things had changed and you can feel it too, then him wanting space may mean that things are moving toward the end.

Pay attention to these signs that your relationship may be ending or over:

  • He stopped talking about the future
  • He’s being aggressive and confrontational
  • There’s boredom in the relationship
  • He no longer enjoys doing things together
  • You feel alone even when you’re together
  • He starts to notice your flaws
  • Your gut tells you that something is up

15) When he doesn’t put effort into the relationship

To keep the relationship strong and healthy, both have to put in an equal amount of effort and time to make it work.

So to make sure that whether he needs space or if your relationship is over, see what’s happening in your relationship.

Does it seem that he doesn’t spend enough time with you, but you’ve been unable to see that because you love him?

If you’re the only one investing in the relationship, he could be using the space as a cover-up. Maybe he doesn’t have the guts to tell you the truth or hurt your feelings

If he can’t see your future together, him asking for space is a surefire sign that your relationship isn’t working anymore.

It’s hard to accept it but you have to let him go. There’s no point fixing something that’s beyond repair and unworthy of your love.

What to do when your man needs space?

Here’s the truth: Space is a necessary part of life and relationships.

It helps partners deal with their emotions, gain a better perspective, and even strengthen the relationship. It gives you and your partner clarity and room for growth.

Giving each other room to breathe doesn’t even mean he’s losing interest. And of course, you can have space without losing each other.

While it seems hard to realize that he needs a break, believes that he will come back better for it.

You can avoid losing the man you love – that is if you do it the right way. It might even bring you closer together.

Here’s how:

1) Don’t make decisions for him.

Even if your intentions are good, never tell him what to do.

You won’t achieve anything if you convince him that what you’re thinking is right and he’s wrong.

He’ll only feel controlled and stifled when you make decisions for him.

2) Avoid asking too many questions

While you want to know what he’ll do or where he’ll go, try not to. And if he’s going somewhere, don’t ask who he will be with.

It’s not wrong to ask but if you ask him too many questions, it might annoy him. Just take your time and ask him when the time is right.

3) Show understanding

Your man needs time to figure things out. It’s best to respect his wishes and understand him.

When you learn to live in this space for a while, it could put your mind at peace. This will free you from pressure too – and probably, he’ll come back without any ifs and buts.

4) Respect the no-contact rule

If you agree on a relationship break as your man says he needs space, cut off all contact for a while.

Wait for him to reach out to you. And try not to check him on social media so you won’t be tempted to message him.

5) But, make it clear that you’re there for him

Your man is confused and going through a hard time. As he needs your support more than ever, let him know that you’re there for him no matter what.

6) Embrace your feelings

Instead of ignoring what you feel about all these, let your feelings out in the open. Your feelings are valid as they’re a part of you.

7) Remember to take care of yourself

While you might be thinking about whether he’ll come back after giving him space, stop obsessing about it.

Instead, find the strength to continue with your life. Do anything that will take care of your body, mind, and soul.

8) Be patient and optimistic

I know you’re seeing this relationship space as a red flag, but have faith in the love that you have for each other.

You’re going through a tough time, but try to be patient and positive. In time, you’ll get back together.

9) Make him miss you

Give your man space while showing him that you still care. Distance yourself but make him reach out to you.

When you give him the space he needs, there’s a possibility that he’ll look forward to being with you again.

10) Eventually, communicate and ask him why

It’s not proper to ask him why he needs space right away even if you want to.

See, everything takes time. When you know that he’s ready to open up, sit with him and talk. Be receptive to his thoughts so you can arrive at a mutual understanding.

To wrap it up

If your man needs space, provide him that. But make your time apart a way to build a desire for your man to be with you again.

Here’s the thing,

Relationships are full of gray areas and can’t be forced. It’s best to let the relationship bloom and see how the love you have for each other can surpass all these.

Giving each other space could be the best thing you’ve ever done!

By now you should have a better idea of why your man needs space.

I touched on the hero instinct concept earlier – and I believe that it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.


Because you trigger your man’s hero instinct, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has reached before.

And it all comes down to knowing how to trigger those innate drivers that motivate him to love, commit, and protect you like he’s never done before.

So if you want your man to see you as the only woman for him,  make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Czaroma Roman

Czaroma is a content strategist and copywriter with a purposeful mindset. She finds fulfillment in crafting content for entrepreneurs and life coaches. In a place of love and growth, she's raising a tribe of three with her husband - and writes to inspire people to create impactful relationships.

Connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.

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