I got the green light
I got a little fight
I’m gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?
– ”Read My Mind,” by the Killers
Are you in a no contact period with a guy?
It can be difficult, especially if you don’t even know if he cares.
Here’s how to tell if you’re on his mind during no contact or whether he’s moved on.
Does he miss me during no contact? 22 ways to read his mind
1) He pays attention to your social media
When a guy misses you during no contact, he generally goes to his first source of information and updates on you: social media.
If you haven’t blocked him, then he scrolls through your stories, posts and photos.
You may be able to see that he’s doing this, such as on Instagram or Whatsapp where it shows you who has viewed your story posts.
He may also like something you post or comment on it.
Even if he shows no outward signs of following you on social media, you can be sure that he’s doing this if he misses you.
Very few men who are strongly attracted to someone can resist turning to social media to see a look at what she’s up to or if she’s dating someone new.
2) His friends talk about him being down
Another one of the top hacks to read his mind during no contact is to speak to his friends and family.
If they tell you how down he is, this is basically him sending you a telegram about how he’s feeling.
If he didn’t miss you, you wouldn’t hear about it.
But if you get the sense that he’s going through some serious stuff and it’s related to you cutting off contact with him, it’s probably true.
Should you contact your ex? Maybe.
But if his friends and family barely seem to realize you’re having issues and sort of shrug it off, on the other hand, it’s more likely that he’s taking this in stride.
He’s either very good at hiding the pain he’s going through or he doesn’t miss you much.
3) He wants to help you any way he can
One of the biggest signs that a guy misses you during no contact is that he reaches out offering to help you.
He may offer advice, apologize, say that he’s changed or even just try to come around and help you in your home or other things you need.
Even though you’re in no contact, these gestures aren’t necessarily empty.
They could be signs that he’s realized how much he’s lost and wants you back.
You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.
And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.
Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.
The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.
The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.
4) He’s really kind to your friends and family
A guy who misses you during no contact wants one thing: he wants you back.
For that reason, one of the top signs your absence is weighing on him is that he is really nice and friendly to your friends and family.
He reaches out to them, gets closer with them, and helps them out in any way he can.
He may even become more involved in friendships with your relatives or close friends and start doing more activities with them.
This is him strengthening his ties to you in any way possible.
If he can’t have you (right now) he at least wants to be talking to those who are close to you and ingratiating himself into their lives.
5) He’s posting about you on social media
In addition to paying a lot of attention to you on social media, one of the classic signs that he’s missing you a lot during no contact is that he posts about you.
Keep in mind:
This won’t necessarily be actual photos of you or talking about the breakup.
It might not even be sad music or things about love and loss.
It can often be a little subtler than that:
Posts that refer to a song you both loved or that was “your song…”
Poem lyrics that refer to a place you once went on an amazing trip…
A picture of a place that you first met or that you had an especially incredible time together…
This is his way of calling out to you and also publicizing his memories in a way that only you and he might know about.
6) He’s clearly staying single
Another one of the most important indicators that he’s yearning for you during no contact is that he stays single.
You hear from mutual friends that he’s not seeing anyone, see it online or he tells you that in a message or voicemail.
Even though you don’t respond, you can hear his obvious effort in letting you know he’s still on the market.
Let’s face it:
This is a pretty thirsty move on his part and it’s not very subtle or attractive.
“I’m still available, please take me back!” isn’t exactly timeless confidence and poise.
But if you want to know whether he’s missing you then letting you know he’s not seeing anyone new definitely points to yes.
7) He demonstrates that he’s changed a lot
Another classic move that guys make when they miss a girl during no contact is to let her know they’ve changed.
They want to earn back your trust and affection.
In particular, he may let you know that he’s superseded past things he struggled with, improved aspects of his personality or moved forward in his career, fitness or mental health.
He will want you to know that he’s not the same guy he was when you broke up and that you have a lot to look forward to, if you hitch your wagon to his once again.
This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to miss you during no contact and get clear on wanting a relationship.
And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
8) He’s going through a dark night of the soul
If the no contact is hitting him really hard, then a guy will often try to hide it.
But the truth will come out through his friends and his lack of doing or saying anything.
If he just seems to drop off the map and disappear, it’s a sign that he’s missing you a lot and doesn’t know what to do about it.
It doesn’t always mean he’s sure that he wants you back, but it certainly means he misses you and what you once had.
This can also connect up to the past point about paying attention to his posts on social media.
You may notice that he’s posting things which are very melancholy, obscure or depressive.
This is him going through a dark night of the soul and missing you intensely.
9) A spiritual professional confirms it for you
People can be very confusing at the best of times.
We can even confuse ourselves!
For this reason, all the signs on this list might still be hard to read for you and see if he truly misses you.
That’s when one of the best things you can do is get a bit supernatural…
Let me explain:
One of the best ways to find out if he’s missing you during no contact can be to call in the pros.
I’m talking about psychics.
I used to be ultra-skeptical as well, but what changed my mind was my own personal experience.
Last year, after going through a messy break up that had me confused and heartbroken, I tried an easy-to-use online service called Psychic Source.
They provided me with the guidance I needed in life, including who I am meant to be with and they explained what my ex was thinking and their real motivation leading to the breakup.
I was actually blown away by how kind, caring, and knowledgeable these gifted spiritual advisors were in addressing my questions and concerns.
A gifted advisor can not only tell you if someone is thinking of you romantically, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.
10) He tries to call you a lot whenever he can
Obviously the thing about no contact is that there’s no contact.
Even a few answered calls, messages or interactions can ruin the whole purpose of the concept.
The purpose is to spend time apart after a breakup and see if you truly are done with this person or want to try again.
No contact can be very helpful if it results in more clarity and answers.
But of course what he does isn’t in your control.
And even if you’ve blocked this guy, he may still try to call you, call those close to you or physically come see you if possible.
This is where you have to draw a really firm line.
But keep in mind that his efforts to get in touch with you are the obvious signs of a man who misses you a lot.
11) He bumps into you a lot ‘by chance’ out in public
On the subject of trying to come see you physically, is when a guy tries to bump into you a lot in public.
Your favorite coffee shop suddenly becomes the sight of a chance run-in with him, or when you’re out for a walk with your dog…
Or outside your university…
Or near your work parking lot where he just “happens” to be getting out of his parked car and going to the grocery store.
What are the chances?
It’s amazing how destiny works sometimes.
He clearly misses you if he’s staging run-ins with you in public. Not only does this take a lot of effort and careful planning, it runs the risk of completely freaking you out and alienating you for good.
He wouldn’t be doing it if he wasn’t a total mess.
12) He’s possessive about what you’re up to now
Another sign that no contact is doing his head in, is that he is quite jealous and possessive about what you’re up to now.
He’s following you all over social media, but he’s also trying to call, text and contact you and your friends about what you’re up to.
He desperately wants to know if you’re seeing someone new…
Sleeping with someone new…
Even just talking to someone new.
This is not the behavior of a man who’s moving on with his life.
This is the comportment of a guy who can’t get over you and misses the hell out of you.
13) He’s constantly looking for a second chance
If he’s not missing you and moving on with his life, he may still be hoping for a do-over, but he’s also willing to let you go.
Whether this is due to maturity or to realism, it does also usually mean that he only misses you a medium amount at most.
That’s the thing:
It’s hard to quantify emotions.
What would be the difference of being 93% sad or 100% sad?
What would be the difference between missing someone 64% and 95%?
Only the person experiencing an emotion knows what it truly feels like and has their own interpretation of it and its importance.
The point is this:
If you want to know if he misses you during no contact, you ultimately have to ask him or have him tell you.
But the signs in this list are accurate indicators, and so is the fact that he’s looking for a second chance and wants you back.
If he didn’t miss you he wouldn’t bother.
14) He becomes an out-of-control party animal
One of the more surprising things that a man sometimes does during no contact and when he misses you, is to go wild.
He’s out on the town partying it up, he’s acting the fool online, and he’s all around behaving like a reckless idiot.
You may also notice drastic style changes, promiscuous behaviors or a reputation for them, heavy drinking or drug use and wild, unexpected changes in personality.
Did he get a massive back tattoo of the god Shiva and then bungee jump after posting about snorting drugs?
OK fine, that could just be who he is: but if he was formerly a straightlaced “good guy” who never liked being a daredevil and stayed far away from any substance stronger than coffee, you have to wonder what changed.
What changed, most likely, is that he got heartbroken by you cutting him off and is now going wild like a bucking bronco.
He could be hoping you’ll notice, sure, but he might also just be losing it because he’s so broken up inside that he needs to do anything he can to try to forget.
15) He lashes out emotionally in unfair ways
This is not a good sign, but it is a sign.
And, after all, that’s what this article is about.
So keep in mind that if he lashes out emotionally in unfair ways it’s actually one of the strongest signs that he’s dying of regret and missing you like hell.
Your first instinct is probably going to be to tell him to f*ck off.
And I can’t really blame you if you do.
In fact, during no contact you shouldn’t even dignify his angry messages and attention-seeking antics.
But if he does lash out at you and send awful things to you, keep in mind that it means he misses you.
On the plus side, it can also reassure you that breaking up with him was very much the right decision and no contact should be extended to a permanent state.
16) He drunk dials you
You know the classic cliche:
A guy gets dumped or dumps his girlfriend and feels like shit.
He then starts drinking heavily and becoming a rambling fool. He generally calls his girlfriend with endless declarations of love peppered by incoherent ranting and accusations.
Or maybe he just drunk dials you and is so wasted that you can’t even make out what he’s saying!
Well, there’s one message you should be getting loud and clear:
This fool misses you.
Do you miss him?
“If he texts or calls you when drunk, it could mean that he is using alcohol as a means to express his feelings.
“You could interpret it this way-it gives him the courage to say things he wouldn’t usually say when he is sober.”
17) He wears and shows off gifts you gave him
If you’re in no contact, you’re in no contact. Or at least you should be.
But if you’re still checking out his social media, or seeing him around, you may notice that he’s wearing a shirt you gave him…
Or sporting a hat that you bought together on your trip to Cape Cod…
What’s up with that?
It’s him sending an SOS to you and the whole world:
The girl I love isn’t talking to me, and I miss her!
Is he doing it in an intentional way to get a reaction out of you? Honestly it’s pretty likely.
But even if he’s not, it’s a definite sign that he’s been missing you.
18) He flirts with your friends to make you jealous
One of the sneakier moves that a guy can make when he misses you during no contact, is to go after your friends.
This is kind of disturbing, but stick with me.
When a man’s ego and life satisfaction is threatened, there’s no telling just how far he might go.
If he decides that he’s genuinely desperate and enraged, he may go after your friends and flirt with them and try to date them or sleep with them.
This is quite a nightmare for you, especially in a no contact period.
And it’s up to you to know what to do about it.
Just rest assured that a man who acts this way is probably not worth your time.
19) He tries to sext with you
Another thing that a guy will do during no contact to get your attention is try to sext with you.
Maybe he’ll send a dick pic or ask what you’re wearing.
Maybe he’ll just do a sneaky shower pic.
The point is the same:
He’s trying to rekindle that passion you once felt and get you back onboard the love train.
If you fall into sexting with him, you’ve not only broken no contact, but you’ve given him an indication that he’s back on good terms.
The problems and issues that led to no contact are now, presumably, over. Or at least on hold.
Watch out for sexting! It’s a slippery slope.
20) He plans a grand romantic gesture
One of the things that a guy will do when he misses you is plan a grand romantic gesture.
This may take the classic 1980s version of standing outside your home with a boom box playing romantic music.
Or it could be subtler and involve him organizing a special celebration for you.
If you’re in no contact this can obviously be pretty awkward, especially when you turn down the invitation.
But the intention is clear.
This guy misses you.
And loves you.
And wants you back.
21) He makes a big life change
Another of the important signs that he misses you during no contact is when he makes a big life change after you cut off ties.
Suddenly he’s moving to a completely new place or pursuing a career.
Well, on outer appearance this would seem to mean he’s made a clean break and is over you.
In reality, it’s him trying far too hard.
This is especially true if you’re seeing him showcasing this new life he has all over the internet and among friends.
Why is he making such a point of having moved on?
Has he really moved on? Anything is possible.
But what’s most likely is that he’s so shaken up that he’s taking dramatic steps to try to convince himself he doesn’t need you.
22) You’re not wondering if he misses you
Let’s face it:
One of the strongest signs he’s missing you during no contact is that you’re not wondering if he misses you.
Because you know he does.
When you have something special with a special person and it’s in a troubled period, you may find that the pain of separation is crystal clear to both of you.
In fact, you’re likely to be even more concerned with how much you miss him, and be tempted to break no contact.
If you’re wondering whether he misses you, it means one simple thing:
It means you are on shaky ground about how much the relationship meant to him.
If you know that what you had was real and special, you won’t wonder about whether he misses you:
What should you do next?
Now that you know more signs about whether this guy misses you during no contact, it’s on you to decide what to do next.
The best advice is to walk away if he doesn’t miss you at all, and give him an opportunity to commit if he does miss you.
By now you should have a better idea of what makes men miss someone and makes them want to commit.
So the key now is getting through to your man in a way that empowers both him and you.
I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.
And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.
With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.