This is the complete guide to know whether a guy likes you or not.
So if you’re asking yourself “does he like me” and you’re finding your man cryptically impossible to read, this is the guide for you.
Men aren’t as complex as you might think. It’s just a matter of knowing what signs to look for.
Here are 30 undeniable signs he likes you:
1. He can’t stop asking questions about you
If a guy can’t stop wanting to get to know, he’s probably into you.
Questions show he is curious and interested. He wants to learn about you. He wants to understand what makes you tick.
If he is actively listening, and asking follow-up questions after your answer, that’s a great sign.
Not only he is a great listener, but his attention is focused on you, rather than himself.
In fact, research has found that men communicate their attraction through focused attention and listening.
We all know that men aren’t the best conversationalists, so if he’s desperate to keep the conversation going by asking you every question under the sun, you can bet your bottom dollar he’s into you.
2. He can’t stop smiling when he is with you
If he can’t stop smiling and laughing when he’s around you, then you’re putting him in a good mood. He’s relishing being around you, and he definitely has a crush on you.
He’s also making an effort to lift the positive energy and rapport. He wants you to enjoy yourself when you’re around him and he wants to make a good impression.
In fact, evolutionary psychologist Norman Li says that whether or not someone laughs at your jokes is a huge “interest indicator”.
The main reason?
Because if he doesn’t laugh, it can be perceived as a sign of active dislike.
That’s obviously the last thing he’ll want to do if he likes you.
So if he is laughing and smiling at everything you say, then it’s a great sign he is genuinely into you.
3. He mirrors your actions
This is something that happens subconsciously if they like you. Imitating your actions is a sign that he respects and admires you.
This can be presented in different ways, such as:
1) He might start speaking at a similar pace to you.
2) He might lean back or lean forward when you do.
3) He might start using similar words or slang as you do.
4) He might start copying your mannerisms when speaking.
Here is some great advice from Judy Dutton, author of How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover, on how you can figure out if he likes you or not:
“If you want to gauge whether someone’s attracted to you, check your watch—then see if they check theirs. Or scratch your arm, then see if they scratch theirs. Or cross your legs, and see if they cross theirs. This means they’re subconsciously trying to get in synch with you, which is a good sign.”
If he does any of these, then he likes you.
This is actually rooted in the brain’s Mirror Neuron System.
This network of the brain is the social glue that binds people together.
A greater level of activation of the Mirror Neuron System is associated with liking and cooperation.
4. He’s trying to ignore you
Surprised? Ignoring you surely can’t be a sign that he likes you, right? Wrong!
Many guys try to play hard to get. They appear disinterested hoping it will make you interested.
Another reason is that if he gets too shy and nervous around you, he’ll try to ignore you because he knows he will make a bad impression.
Nervousness can be portrayed in different ways. Some guys will get a lot more hyper and will start to tell weird jokes.
Other guys talk fast and stutter. And finally, some guys will appear cool on the surface but they might be showing some nervous body signs, like shaking hands and legs.
So if they are showing these signs around you, they might be nervous because they like you.
What can you do if you think he is nervous around you?
You could speak to him, and see if he appears nervous and shy. Once you start showing that you’re interested in him, he might calm down a little, and probably start smiling and talking with you. This will let you know if he does like you or not.
However, sometimes you can’t read too much into whether he ignores you or not. After all, some guys might ignore you because they’re simply not interested in you.
5. He’s getting jealous when you talk to other guys
Jealousy is a strong feeling that’s hard to control. If you find yourself talking to a guy and he’s looking over wondering what’s going on, then that’s a good sign that he’s into you.
Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch says:
“Jealousy is among the most human of all emotions. You feel jealous when you think you are going to lose a relationship you really value.”
If you talk to a guy and then later in the night, he’s giving you the cold shoulder, and it looks like he’s angry at you, then jealousy may be getting the better of him.
However, if you give him enough attention and he starts to come around again and be happy, then it was definitely jealousy. And he definitely likes you.
If you like him, this would be an excellent opportunity to say something and get the guy to like you.
Also, for some guys, jealously may spring them into action. When they see you talking to another guy, they may try and get involved in the conversation or talk to you directly after.
It’s amazing what a little bit of competition can do, hey?
Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch says:
“Jealousy is among the most human of all emotions. You feel jealous when you think you are going to lose a relationship you really value.”
6. He asks for your number
This is one is fairly self-explanatory. Obviously, if he asks for your number, he wants to see you again, and he likes you.
However, there’s an important reason I’m mentioning this sign. You need to watch out for the players. Some guys are very skilled at getting numbers, and they collect them like it’s a game.
Then they’ll text you when it suits them, such as late on a Saturday night.
Obviously a guy like this being interested in you isn’t the same as a normal guy who likes you and ONLY has his focus on you.
To avoid the player-type operators, watch them and see if they get other girl’s numbers that night. If they’re collecting numbers left, right and center then he’s probably a playboy.
And if he doesn’t text for a few days, or he texts you late at night, then he might not be the kind of guy you’re looking for.
One study found that if a man initiates contact with you based on the goal of a “booty call” then he’s not really interested or invested in creating a meaningful relationship.
Also, keep in mind how long he takes to text you back.
Gian Gonzaga, Senior Director of Research & Development for eHarmony Labs, says that quick response time is a significant indicator of attraction.
7. He’s talking to you on social media
Think about this:
When we’re online, we can literally do whatever we want. We can chat to who we want to, we can view the profiles of who we like, and we can follow the people we’re most interested in.
So if he’s making an effort to connect with you on Facebook or Instagram, there’s a high chance that he’s into you.
Is he liking your pictures, even when it has nothing to do with him? Chatting to you on messenger? Commenting on your updates?
These are great signs that he’s into you.
Watch out for guys that are slow to reply on messenger or they give you one-word responses. This might mean that they’re not that interested and they’re simply stringing you along.
But if he’s highly attentive to what you’re doing on social media and he’s regularly engaging with you, then he’s probably into you.
The one thing you need to ask yourself is how well thought his answers are to you. If he is giving you responses and asking questions that show he is making somewhat of an effort, then there’s a fair chance he likes you.
8. He asks you, “Do you have a boyfriend?”
We’re all familiar with this question. And we all know it’s a dead set giveaway that he’s into you.
I mean, if he wasn’t interested, there’s no way he’d be asking that question!
However, some guys might not be so direct, particularly if they’re nervous or shy.
Perhaps they’ll mention that they’re single in the hope that it forces you to say “me too.”
Or they’ll ask things like, “Oh, so you went alone to the party?”
If you’re looking out for it, it will be pretty easy to notice if he is trying to figure out if you’re single or not.
You could mention that you are indeed single and watch for their reaction. If it produces a smile from the guy, then he’s definitely into you.
9. He’s trying to touch you
If he’s touching you, then he finds you sexy, and he’s probably into you.
This could be simple things, like a playful nudge to the arm, or an innocent arm around the shoulder.
Guys love to touch the girls they’re into you. It gives them energy and assists in building rapport.
So if he’s finding excuses to touch you, he might be ready to tell you that he likes you soon.
Here’s a great example of touching that someone might do if they if someone likes you:
“If you walk near each other, he’ll place his hand near the small of your back to guide you through a noisy party or bar. Plus, he wants to show all the other men that he’s got this. Plus, it’s a reason to touch you and seem like a gentleman all at the same time.”
Keep in mind that shy guys can be difficult to read in this situation, and when you touch them, they may appear startled and unsure of how to respond.
That’s okay. Watch how they react after that incident to truly gauge their interest. Don’t rely on how he responds to touch alone.
All you have to do is spend more time with him to the point that he gets comfortable with you.
Once you do that, you’ll be able to really gauge how he feels once he gets over his nerves.
However, on the other end of the spectrum, you need to watch out for sexist guys that touch you in inappropriate ways. This could be a slap on the butt or a grope of some kind. Obviously, that’s disgusting, and you should stay the hell away from those no-hopers.
That just shows that they’re a player (or creep) and they might not be genuinely interested in you for the right reasons.
(Do you know the strangest thing men desire? And how it can make him crazy for you? Check out my new article to find out what it is).
10. His body does the talking
Everyone knows that you can say a lot with your eyes without ever uttering a word, but your body can do a lot of talking for you as well.
If you find your guy crush is leaning into you when you talk, or if he is standing near you when there’s no need to stand near you, it’s a good sign that he might be into you as much as you are into him.
If you find that he chooses the seat next to yours, even when you are out with a crowd, and he turns in your direction, even when others are speaking, it’s pretty safe to assume he’s got a thing for you.
First, he’ll lean into the conversation if he likes you. The space between you and him will get smaller and smaller as the conversation goes on.
He’ll lead with his pelvis, meaning he’ll lean from side to side, stick one a hip, put his hand on his hip to take up more space, and make himself look powerful.
This is an age-old power pose that men use to show they are strong and capable, and of course, the pelvic thrust is just a roundabout way of getting you to look in the direction of his junk.
On the other hand, if he is moving his lower region away from you, or if he has crossed his legs and creates a sort of barrier between you and him with his legs, he’s likely not interested in you.
Watch for other telltale signs of body language giving him away, including placing his hand near yours on the table, presenting his hips in a dominant way (you know, he wants you to look at his crotch), and he lowers his head close to yours when you talk.
11. He remembers the little things
Let’s be honest: Guys aren’t very good at remembering things.
But if he remembers little things about your life that you mention, then he probably likes you.
For example, if you mention that it’s your sister’s birthday and you’re having dinner with your family for it, and then the next day he asks you how it was, it’s a great sign.
We spoke before about the fact that a guy that likes you will listen intently to what you’re saying and ask you constant questions.
This is the same thing.
Remembering things that you wouldn’t expect him to remember is a great sign that he’s thinking about you and he wants to stay connected and develop rapport.
Not every guy does this, so see it as a sign that he’s genuinely interested in you.
The fact of the matter is this:
If he likes you, he’ll hang onto your every word.
He remembers the little details and takes note when you mention anything for a reason.
He doesn’t interrupt you. He doesn’t think that he is smarter than you.
He just listens without distraction and then offers his advice once you’re finished.
[Independence is a key attribute of strong women. In our latest eBook, we outline why men love strong women and how you can become one yourself. Check it out here.]
12. He goes out of his way to be seen by you
If you suddenly start running into him at places you’ve always gone but have never seen each other, like your favorite bar or restaurant, bet your bottom dollar that he is trying to be seen by you.
He might make a scene in front of your friends or show off a bit to try to get your attention, which could be awkward for a while.
You gotta hand it to him though; he’s gutsy to do that given all the people that are around and who might judge him for the way he’s rocking that karaoke mic!
This is also the case when you’re in a group of people together. He’ll somehow find a way to sit next to you or stand next to you if he likes you.
He might not even know he is doing this, either. He just does it subconsciously because he likes you.
13. He’s teasing you
The guy that teases you likes you. Sound familiar?
Guys have a habit of insulting and teasing the women they’re interested in. Remember the kindergarten classes where a boy would pull a girl’s hair? Yeah, he liked her.
Why do guys do this?
The main reason is attention. Teasing is a way to get attention and noticed by their object of affection.
They also want to be funny, and teasing is the adult way of telling you I like you more than a friend.
14. He’s focused on you and only you
Look, we’ve spoken above about how a guy that likes you will be grossly attentive in any conversation with you.
And this is also the case with where he looks.
And you can tell a lot about a guy if you focus on where he looks.
For example, it’s natural for guys to check out girls. Look at any guy in public and see how their eyes wander when a pretty girl walks past. They can’t help it.
But if he has eyes only for you, then there’s no question that he’s into you.
If he doesn’t look at any other girl, but you, then you also know that he probably isn’t a player, either.
Not only that, but he probably wants a relationship with you, too.
After all, it’s not easy for a guy to focus on one girl, so this is an excellent signal that he’s picking up what you’re putting down.
15. No matter what problem you face, he’ll go searching for a solution
Nicholas Sparks sums it up quite perfectly:
“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”
Guys like to be problem solvers. So when a girl they like says that they have a problem, he’ll immediately search for solutions, even if it’s an issue he’s not well-versed in.
He’ll help you out more than a friend if he likes you. He’ll go the extra mile. He wants to be your hero that saves the day.
Keep in mind that one of the most important takeaways from this is to focus on his actions. A guy can say he’ll help you, but their actions will truly indicate how they feel.
According to psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson:
“Pay twice as much attention to how someone treats you than what they say. Anybody can say they love you, but behavior doesn’t lie. If someone says they value you, but their actions indicate otherwise, trust their behavior.”
16. He’s trying to organize meet-ups and things to do together
A guy who likes you doesn’t just leave you two meeting to chance. He’ll take the initiative and try to organize a drink, coffee or a trip to the bowling court.
In short, he wants to spend more time with you. And he’ll stop at nothing to get that chance.
If he is sending you text messages or emails, calling you or showing up at your place looking to hang out, you don’t need to wonder if he likes you. He does.
If he’s interested in what you are doing and wants to know more, or if he is giving you gifts or paying a lot of attention to when you look terrible because you just woke up and this guy brought coffee, yeah he likes you.
Let’s be clear: liking you and being creepy about it are two different things, so if he’s giving you a creepy vibe, move on.
But in general, a guy that likes you will want to hang out with you.
One easy strategy to figure out if he likes you you could do is to ask him out for a coffee and ice cream, if he says no and doesn’t have a legitimate reason, then he might not like you.
But if he says yes, then you he likes you. It is still possible he only likes you as a friend, but that’s up to you to work out when you’re on your coffee date together.
(When texting a guy, it’s important to be fun, flirty and to always capture his attention. Check out my Text Chemistry review to see if this popular dating guide to right for you).
17. He’s not distracted when you’re around
As I’ve said, if he genuinely likes you, then he won’t be distracted and looking at other girls walk past.
And in the same vein, he won’t be distracted in general!
After all, if he likes you, his focus is on you. He doesn’t pick up his phone and start browsing Facebook when he’s talking with you. He’s fully engaged with what you’re saying.
After all, he’s genuinely interested in what’s going on in your life, and he’s trying to make a good impression.
Anyone that gets distracted in a conversation doesn’t really want to be there.
Research has even found that men become less fidgety when they’re interacting with a girl they like.
So if he genuinely likes you, all eyes and attention will be on YOU, not on your assets!
This is a big one that a lot of people misconstrue.
If a guy is only looking at your boobs and ass, then he’s not interested in YOU. He’s only interested in the physical. This is not a good sign if you’re looking for a relationship.
But if his focus is on your eyes when you’re in a conversation, then he’s interested in your personality. He wants to get to know you. He wants to build rapport, and he likes you for who you are.
This is a great sign that there could be something special brewing between the two of you.
Also, if you like him, you may want to maintain eye contact back at him. Research says that prolonged eye contact increases the attraction between two people.
18. He compliments you
If he likes you, he probably likes things about you that you wouldn’t expect.
And no, I’m not talking about your ass or your boobs. I’m talking about your hairstyle, clothes or personality.
He notices the small things about you and isn’t afraid to tell you that it looks marvelous. Nobody normal would even notice.
For example, you may have changed something small about your hair, but somehow, he’s the first person to notice and compliment you on the change.
If he is this observant about changes you make to your style, then you know he’s into you.
After all, if he’s fully into you, he likes EVERYTHING about you. Your smell, your hair, your style, your personality.
19. He wants you to meet his friends
There’s no point in introducing you to his friends if he’s not into you. If he’s impressed by you, he wants to show you off. He’s proud of the fact he knows you.
This is a huge sign that he likes you. In fact, he’s probably told his friends about the fact that he does, so watch out for any subtle signals that they’re trying to leave you two alone or they’re trying to make him look good.
Guys always try to wingman each other, especially when one of them genuinely likes a girl.
20. He talks about his future plans
It takes an effort to have these discussions, but if he is telling you about want he wants to do in the future, then he might be interested in dating you.
He’s telling you because he might be working out how you would fit into these plans.
Also, he could be trying to impress you. He’s trying to show you that he’s not some normal loser that only thinks about the short-term.
He’s got long-term goals, and he might want to take you along for the journey.
21. He wants to know your future plans
If he feels close enough to you or invested in the relationship enough, he will see things for you and your future that you might not even see.
So even if he isn’t coming out and saying he likes you, if he’s offering up advice on your future in a meaningful and caring way, he’s into you.
Furthermore, there might be a practical reason he is asking about your future plans. If he likes you and sees a future between the two of you, then he wants to make sure that both of your futures are compatible.
He wants to have a relationship with you and he is trying to figure out if it will work.
For example, if you tell him that you want to move overseas in the future, then his plan of having a relationship with you might be a little more difficult for him.
22. Look at his body language
Men can be pretty obvious when it comes to their body language.
If he likes you, he’ll be very open with his body. He’ll likely face towards you. He might also lean in when he talks to you.
Research has found that men who are more traditional flirts (those who believed men should make the first move and women should be more passive) are more likely to adopt open body language.
Furthermore, if he is showing open body language with you (legs and arms spread apart) then it shows that he is comfortable with you as well. This is a great sign that there is strong rapport between the two of you.
However, if he is showing closed body language (arms crossed) then it’s true that he might not like you, but he may also be nervous or shy.
If you’re only just getting to know him, then just give him time to get more comfortable. When he trusts you, and there is a rapport between the two of you, he’ll start to come around and act normal.
This is where you can really tell if he likes you.
23. Is he acting a little weird?
Guys who are nervous act weird. He might stumble over his words. He might start sweating. He might start telling weird jokes.
These are just ways to release their nervous energy.
Don’t let it weird you out. If they’re nervous, it means they like you and they want to impress you.
Once they get comfortable, they’ll start being normal again.
And look, it’s not that weird to be nervous around someone you like. I think we’ve all experienced this before. When you like someone, those pesky butterflies pop up whenever you see them.
This makes sense. After all, you want to make a good impression.
If they like you, and they don’t really know you, then they’re likely to get nervous around you.
After all, they’re feeling the pressure of making a good impression.
According to Business Insider, there are six signs to look for to tell if someone is nervous: –
1) They touch their face: This can include rubbing their forehead, pushing their cheek and squeezing their face.
2) They compress their lips.
3) They play with their hair: This is a stress-reducing behavior.
4) They blink more frequently: Eye-blink rate increases when someone is nervous.
5) They contort and rub their hands together.
6) They yawn excessively: Yawning helps regulate our body temperature (the brain gets warmer when we’re stressed).
So if they are showing these signs around you, they might be nervous because they like you. You’ll also want to get a baseline of how they act around other people, too.
24. He leans in when in conversation with you
I’ve mentioned the importance of analyzing his body language to tell if he likes you or not.
Well, this is a fairly obvious body language sign to notice. When you’re talking, if he naturally leans in then there’s a good chance that he likes you.
Because he’s trying to build rapport so he’ll move his body closer to yours – all without even realizing it.
Go to any bar and looks at all guys leaning in when they talk to girls. It’s fairly common but a surefire sign that a guy is interested and trying to score.
This is particularly the case when you start to talk. He’ll lean in to really listen to what you’re saying. He’s desperate to make a connection with you and his body is leading his brain.
25. They remove things in their way.
When we don’t like someone, we naturally input barriers between ourselves and them.
For example, many people cross their arms when they’re talking to someone they dislike. It’s a subconscious way to protect your own physical space.
But when we are with someone we like, we tend to spread our body language and be very welcoming.
So if he is uncrossing his arms around you, it’s almost like you’ve disarmed him and he is welcoming you into his physical space.
So to work whether they are removing barriers between the two of you, here’s what to look for:
- Crossed arms might indicate that a person feels closed off or defensive. Open body language indicates the opposite.
- Hands behind their back may indicate that they are feeling bored, or angry.
- Fidgeting can also indicate that they are bored.
- Open posture involves keeping the trunk of the body open and exposed. This can indicate openness and friendliness.
26. Where are his feet pointing
This one has been mentioned above but it’s worth discussing in-depth because it’s such a surefire sign that a guy likes you.
So watch where his feet point. This can be an indicator of where his interest lies.
If his feet are pointing away from you and towards the door, then he might not like you. If his body is turned away from you, he might not like you either.
Even if they are turned to talk to someone else and their attention is occupied, if their feet are in your direction, you might have a crush on your hands.
Again, our bodies like to give us subtle ways of letting us know that we like someone.
You might feel anxious or uptight about something and later realize that it’s because you find yourself attracted to someone and didn’t know what to do with that information in your body.
“When the feet are pointed directly toward another person, this is a sign of attraction, or at the very least, genuine interest.” – Vanessa Van Edwards in Huffington Post
RELATED: 3 ways to make a man addicted to you
27. He laughs at your jokes, even when they’re not funny
You know your jokes are stupid. He knows your jokes are stupid. Yet for some reason, he can’t help but laugh uncontrollably at them.
So if you are wondering if your crush likes you back, just tell a lame joke and see how they react.
Our sense of trying to make people feel important and acknowledged when we like them is so high that we will go out of our way to make ourselves look silly (aka laughing when we shouldn’t be) so that the other person is raised up. Love is a tricky thing, isn’t it?
28. What is his face saying?
You can tell a lot about someone by reading their face.
If they like you, research has found that his eyes may be bright and wide and his pupils dilated. This is a classic sign, and he probably wants to do more than just look at you.
If he likes you, his eyebrows may move up and down, and his facial gestures will be attentive.
Furthermore, this study suggests that he may also literally drawl over you.
Because testosterone levels increase in a man’s saliva when he’s attracted to a woman. This may cause him to swallow more than usual or become dehydrated.
29. He likes hanging out with you – as far as you can tell!
If he seems to want to hang around you, but it doesn’t seem to be turning into any romantic, give it some time.
He just might need a little time to get up the gumption to tell you how he feels.
In the meantime, you get to enjoy some non-committal friend time and learn more about him to make sure he is someone you want to spend time with.
As time passes and you get to know him, you might decide that he’s not for you. So at least you can make use of friend time while it lasts.
30. Want to really know him if he likes you? Ask him!
Stop endlessly wondering. If you really want to know if he likes you, ask him.
It’s not third grade, right? If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll tell you how he’s really feeling.
If you’re looking to get a boyfriend, then it’s important to communicate your feelings.
And if he’s not, then great. Now you know. You can move on with your life. After all, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.
I have one question for you…
Are you frustrated with dating and finding a quality boyfriend?
Finding the right guy and building a relationship with him isn’t as easy as swiping left or right.
I’ve been in contact with countless women who start dating someone only to encounter really serious red flags.
Or they’re stuck in a relationship that’s just not working for them.
No one wants to waste their time. We just want to find the person that we’re meant to be with. We all (both women and men) want to be in a deep passionate relationship.
But how do you find the right man for you and establish a happy, satisfying relationship with him?
Maybe you need to enlist the help of a professional relationship coach…
Introducing a breakthrough new book
I’ve reviewed a lot of dating books on Hack Spirit and a new one just came to my attention. And it’s good. The Devotion System by Amy North is a welcome addition to the online world of relationship advice.
A professional relationship coach by trade, Ms. North offers up her own comprehensive advice on how to find, keep, and nurture a loving relationship to women everywhere.
Add to that actionable psychology- and science-based tips on texting, flirting, reading him, seducing him, satisfying him and more, and you have a book that will be incredibly useful to its owner.
This book will be very helpful for any woman struggling to find and keep a quality man.
In fact, I liked the book so much that I decided to write an honest, unbiased review of it.
One reason I found The Devotion System so refreshing is that Amy North is relatable for many women. She’s smart, insightful and straightforward, she tells it like it is, and she cares about her clients.
That fact is clear from the very beginning.
If you’re frustrated by continuously meeting disappointing men or by your inability to build a meaningful relationship when a good one comes along, then this book is a must-read.
You may also like reading:
- The strangest thing men desire (And how it can make him crazy for you)
- 3 ways to make a man addicted to you
- He doesn’t REALLY want the perfect girlfriend. He wants these 3 things from you instead…
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