It’s every man’s dream, right? Dating a woman 10 years younger.
But in reality, what’s it like? And do you have what it takes to attract a beautiful and younger woman?
I’m a 37 year old male and have been dating women 10 years + younger than me throughout my thirties.
I’ve learnt a thing or two about the benefits of dating younger women, and how to make it happen.
In this article, I’ll share the 10 key lessons I learned about life from dating younger women.
By the end of this article, you’ll know exactly what it takes to attract a lady who’s 10 years younger than you.
Let the dating begin!
The scientific benefits of dating younger women
Before we get to the 10 most important lessons I learned, a few important points about the benefits of dating younger women.
Research suggests that men who are with younger women live longer lives and are generally in better health.
That’s already a great reason to date younger women!
However, there’s also research by the dating site OK Cupid that suggests women generally prefer to go for guys closer to their age.
You therefore need to be at your very best if you plan on dating a younger woman.
Number 10: Treat her like your girlfriend, not a casual fling
It’s tempting to succumb to temptation and try and have a casual fling with a younger woman.
But this puts the cart before the horse.
You see, one of the most attractive things about an older man is his maturity.
A younger woman doesn’t want to horse around. She wants to learn from your wisdom and experience in life.
And if you’re acting immature, she’ll just think you have Peter Pan Syndrome.
“When I date a guy around my age, I assume there’s a certain level of immaturity that I’m inevitably going to have to endure,” says Mariah, 26.
“In both of my past relationships with older men, I’ve gone into them assuming that there won’t be any games played, and that choosing to date someone who has had the time to make past relationship mistakes will have learned from them.”
Number 9: Don’t make it all about what happens in the bedroom
This is a key mistake many men make.
They think women will judge you based on your prowess in the bedroom. Many older men try to make up for their age by showing more vigor behind closed doors.
Women don’t actually care about this.
They want to feel an emotional connection first and foremost. When they feel emotionally connected, the physical connection just gets enhanced.
It’s more about who you are and how you connect than your ability to have sex in many different positions.
Women care about being emotionally engaged, and they’re probably turning to an older man because he knows himself and knows how to open up his heart.
Number 8: Act your age
The reality is that younger women will have expectations about how you should act.
They don’t want to be your play toy as you relive your youth.
They want you to be a confident and established person.
“Most of the men I’ve dated have been older,” says Shekinah, 30. “If there’s a big age gap, there are expectations. Depending on your age I’m looking for a certain level of maturity, someone I can learn from, someone looking to have a long-term relationship, and someone that knows who he is.”
Number 7: They don’t want you to be their “daddy”
This is a common mistake.
When you’re dating a younger woman, it’s tempting to try and nurture her. You know what’s best, right?
You may also like reading (article continues below):
But the kind of woman you want to date likely doesn’t want you to be this way. They’ve probably got things figured out and want you to also learn from them.
“There’s a reason I prefer older men,” says Kristen, 27. “It’s because I don’t want to deal with an immature, inexperienced, naive child… so don’t be one. Also, don’t assume we have daddy issues that you need to nurture. I like older men because typically they have already figured a few things out, generally are more financially stable, know what they want to do with their lives, and are knowingly dating someone younger because typically they want someone a bit spontaneous. You should be spontaneous too! I want to be spoiled but not necessarily with material goods. Being the younger one I want to feel like you feel lucky to have caught a young thing like myself, so don’t take me for granted. In a nutshell, be mature enough to have your shit together but be young enough that you still want to have fun and enjoy life’s thrills.”
Number 6: She wants to live a different life than you
While you’re an older guy and your younger woman wants to be inspired by your life experience and maturity, she doesn’t want to follow you on your path.
It’s important to enjoy being at different points in life.
She doesn’t want to be pressured to join you on your life path. She’d prefer you to forge a new path together, side by side.
Number 5: You’re not going to be young for forever, and neither will she
You’re the older guy, so it’s pretty obvious to you that she’s not always going to be attracted to your youthful glow. You need to attract her with your character and other good qualities.
Women feel the same way. Even though she’s younger, she knows deep down that her youth won’t always be around.
She wants you to also love her for who she is deep down.
“The things you admire us for in the beginning can become tiresome to you as we both get older,” says Kristen, 32. “So please make sure to be honest without yourself about why you are attracted to us, and if it’s for who we are — not how we make you feel.”
Number 4: Even though you’re older, you still need to keep up with her
Just because you’re older, though, doesn’t mean you can switch off from life.
Your loved one is younger. She’s got energy. She wants to enjoy new experiences in life.
“If age is nothing but a number, don’t act like a grandpa,” says Carly, 29. “We like going out and doing things, so you better be ready to get that ass moving!”
Number 3: It’s not all about your money, stupid
It’s definitely important that as an older man you have financial stability. However, don’t assume this is your most important drawcard.
Women are looking for a life partner, not someone who’s going to be their sugar daddy.
Number 2: Don’t avoid meeting her parents
You’re closer in age to her parents than to her? Don’t let that be a reason to avoid meeting them.
This is often one of the biggest concerns men have when dating younger women.
But you need to know how important it is to meet her parents.
In many ways, you’re not just dating her. You’re building a relationship with her whole family.
When you meet her parents, make sure you demonstrate your maturity and find a way to connect with them in an authentic way.
Your woman will thank you for it.
Number 1: You’re going to get judged, so get ready for it now
One thing you’re going to have to face head on is the expectations of people around you.
People will judge an older man with a younger woman.
It won’t be just you they judge. They’ll also judge your woman.
In fact, it’s likely that your woman feels the wrath of people’s judgements more heavily than you do.
Here’s what Jasmine, 26, says:
“I was prepared for the typical challenges you face when you’re a younger woman dating an older man, but nothing could have prepped me for the judgements that strangers felt they had the right to make about my boyfriend and I to both of our faces,” says Jasmine, 26. “One of the first times we were out at a bar together, the male bartender hit on me when my date went to the bathroom. He leaned in and said, ‘I know he has more money than I do, but I can do things to you that he’s too old for if you know what I mean.’ I was so angry that I couldn’t speak. When my boyfriend came back I told him what happened. I expected him to say something to the bartender or to at least be as upset as I was, but instead he told me that he was sorry, and that this was going to happen, but that we couldn’t let other people’s ignorance get in the way of our relationship. He was right, it happened multiple times after that night. Dating a younger woman means you both need to have a thick skin and not care about anyone’s opinion but your own.”
Conclusion: Dating a woman 10 years younger
Probably the most important takeaway from this article is that you need to be dating a woman 10 years younger for the right reason.
If you’re doing this because you’re unhappy with your life and want to relive your youth, ask yourself this question:
Is this really fair on the woman you’re dating?
But if you genuinely like her for who she is, it’s worth pursuing.
Younger women can get the best out of you. You’ll be encouraged to live a life full of energy, wisdom and maturity. You will want to be a role model while forging a genuine connection with the lady you’re with.
The No-Nonsense Guide to Using Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for a Better Life
If you haven't already, check out Hack Spirit's most popular eBook: The No-Nonsense Guide to Using Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for a Better Life.
Within my book you’ll discover the core components of achieving happiness, anywhere at any time through:
- Creating a state of mindfulness throughout the day
- Learning how to meditate
- Fostering healthier relationships
- Healing from pain and trauma
- Unburdening yourself from intrusive negative thoughts
Sign up to Hack Spirit's daily emails
Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don't like and find your place in the world.