If you want to improve your relationship with your parents as an adult, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Let’s be real—our relationships with our parents can be complicated.

You grow up, life changes, and suddenly the dynamics feel… off.

Maybe you’re holding onto old grudges, or maybe you’re just not sure how to bridge the gap.

But here’s the thing: we can change how we relate to them.

It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

The truth?

A lot of the tension comes from stuff we don’t even realize we’re doing—habits or behaviors that slowly create distance.

The good news?

Once you spot them, you can start to let them go.

In this article, I’m opening up about 7 behaviors that might be keeping you from the connection you want with your parents. 

1) Assuming they will always be there

No matter how old you get, it’s easy to fall into the habit of taking your parents for granted.

You might assume they will always be there, ready to offer advice or lend a helping hand.

But this mindset can lead to neglect, and over time, it can damage your relationship with them.

Your parents aren’t just an endless source of support; they are individuals with their own lives, feelings, and needs.

It’s important to reciprocate their care and attention.

Take the time to ask about their day, listen to their concerns, and show interest in their lives.

Saying goodbye to this behavior doesn’t mean expecting less support from your parents.

It means acknowledging and appreciating their role in your life and treating them with the same respect and consideration you’d want in return.

2) Expecting them to understand your world

When I was fresh out of college, I had a hard time explaining my career choices to my parents.

They were from a different generation, one that didn’t understand the concept of working remotely or the idea of being a freelancer.

For a long time, I felt frustrated and misunderstood.

I kept expecting them to understand my world, my choices, even though they were so foreign to their own experiences.

But over time, I realized this expectation was unfair.

It was causing unnecessary strain in our relationship.

So instead of expecting them to understand, I started to explain.

I shared stories about my work, the challenges and the triumphs. I even showed them how I work during one of my visits home.

Slowly but surely, they started to understand. And more importantly, they appreciated my efforts to bridge the gap between our worlds.

Letting go of the expectation for them to instantly understand your world and instead taking the time to explain can make a big difference in enhancing your relationship with your parents.

3) Ignoring their advice

Never underestimate the wisdom that comes with age.

Even though society and technology have changed dramatically, the core principles of life remain the same.

And your parents have a wealth of knowledge and experience to share.

According to a study published in Psychological Science, older people are better at strategizing and making rational decisions compared to younger ones.

They’ve been through life’s ups and downs, and they’ve learned valuable lessons along the way.

While it’s true that not all advice from your parents may be applicable to your situation, completely ignoring it can make them feel unappreciated or disrespected.

Instead of brushing off their advice, try listening with an open mind.

You might just learn something valuable.

Plus, it shows respect and appreciation for their wisdom and experiences.

4) Holding on to past grudges

We all have disagreements with our parents; it’s part of being human.

But holding on to past grudges can seriously damage your relationship with them.

As we grow older, it becomes crucial to let go of past resentments and forgive.

This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt.

It’s about accepting the past, learning from it and moving forward.

Letting go of grudges not only improves your relationship with your parents but also contributes to your own mental health.

So, if you’re harbouring resentment about something that happened years ago, it might be time to have an honest conversation and work towards forgiveness.

Holding on to grudges only gives them more power over you. Letting go sets you free.

5) Keeping them in the dark

For a long time, I kept my parents at arm’s length when it came to my emotional life.

I didn’t want them to worry or feel burdened by my struggles.

But this silence only created a gap between us.

One day, I found myself dealing with a particularly difficult situation.

I felt lost and didn’t know what to do.

So, I decided to open up and share my feelings with them.

To my surprise, they were more supportive than I ever could have imagined.

They listened, comforted me, and offered their perspective.

It was a turning point in our relationship.

Keeping your parents in the dark about your life doesn’t protect them; it just prevents them from being able to offer support when you need it most.

Opening up and sharing your struggles can lead to deeper connections and mutual understanding.

6) Disregarding their feelings

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and forget that our parents have feelings too.

They can feel hurt, disappointed, worried, or proud, just like we do.

Disregarding their feelings can make them feel unimportant or dismissed.

This can create distance and resentment in your relationship.

Take the time to acknowledge their feelings, just as you would want yours to be acknowledged.

Show empathy when they’re going through a tough time, celebrate their victories, and let them know you’re there for them.

7) Forgetting to say “I love you”

In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget the simplest yet most powerful phrase: “I love you.”

These three words can mean the world to your parents.

Expressing your love doesn’t always have to be verbal. It can be a warm hug, a thoughtful gesture, or simply spending quality time with them.

This simple act of expressing your love will not only reassure them of your feelings but also foster a deeper emotional connection.

It’s a small investment that yields big returns in building a stronger relationship with your parents.

It’s all about respect and understanding

The nuances of human relationships, especially those with our parents, are often interconnected with our understanding, empathy, and respect.

One such connection is the relationship between adults and their parents.

It’s a bond that evolves with time, necessitating a shift in our behaviors and attitudes.

For adults seeking to improve their relationship with their parents, the key lies in empathy and mutual respect.

It’s about understanding that your parents are individuals with their own experiences, emotions, and perspectives.

Whether it’s letting go of past grudges, acknowledging their feelings, or simply expressing your love, these actions contribute to building a stronger bond with your parents.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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