If a man displays these 12 behaviors, he’s afraid of commitment

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Ever wondered why your guy seems to be a bit, well, skittish when it comes to making things official?

You’re not alone.

Many men can be a little wary of the ‘C’ word – Commitment.

But how can you tell if he’s really afraid or just taking things slow?

Well, we’ve got you covered.

We’re about to share 12 clear signs that your man might be dodging commitment.

1. He’s a Master of Vagueness

The first sign that your man could be scared of commitment?

His knack for being as vague as a cloudy day.

If you try to pin down plans and he answers with non-committal phrases like ‘We’ll see’, ‘Maybe’, or ‘I’m not sure yet’, it’s a clear sign he’s not keen on making solid plans.

This is especially true for long-term plans.

He might be okay with deciding where to have dinner this weekend, but ask him about a vacation next summer, and suddenly, he’s more elusive than a cat at bath time.

2. He Avoids ‘The Talk’

Does your guy suddenly become a world champion in changing topics when you bring up the future or where your relationship is heading?

If conversations about commitment or taking things to the next level send him running for the hills, he might be suffering from a fear of commitment.

It’s like he has an allergic reaction to serious relationship talks!

So, if ‘The Talk’ feels more like ‘The Chase,’ you might have a commitment-phobe on your hands.

3. His Past is Filled with Short-Term Relationships

Now, let me share something personal here.

I once dated this guy, John, who was charming, witty, and fun to be around.

But I noticed that all his previous relationships lasted no more than a few months.

When I asked him why, he always skirted around the issue with a joke or changed the topic.

It was like he was doing the tango with commitment – always dancing around it but never getting too close.

If your guy also has a history of short-lived romances without any significant long-term relationship, it might indicate that he’s got cold feet when it comes to commitment.

4. He Values His ‘Freedom’ Immensely

Did you know that one of the most common reasons why men fear commitment is the fear of losing their freedom?

If your guy constantly emphasizes how much he values his personal space, independence, or ‘freedom,’ it could be a sign he’s afraid of commitment.

It’s not about him wanting to hang out with his buddies on a Friday night; it’s more about his insistence on maintaining a separate life that doesn’t include you.

If you feel like he’s guarding his independence like a dragon with its gold, he could be shying away from taking things further.

5. He’s Allergic to the Word ‘Love’

Love is a beautiful thing, but it can also be downright terrifying for some.

If your man shies away from saying the ‘L’ word or freezes up whenever you express your love for him, it may be because he’s afraid of the commitment associated with that powerful word.

Love is a promise, an unwritten agreement of sorts, and for those scared of commitment, it’s like signing up for something they’re not ready for.

It’s not that they don’t feel love; they’re just scared to admit it because of what comes next. 

6. He Doesn’t Involve You in His Life

A few years back, I was dating this guy, let’s call him Mark.

Mark and I had fun together, but there was something off.

I never met his friends, family, or even his dog.

It felt like he was keeping me separate from the rest of his life.

I later realized that he was afraid of commitment.

If your man is also keeping you away from the other aspects of his life, it could be a sign that he’s not ready to make you a permanent part of it, a tell-tale sign of fear of commitment.

7. He’s Got a Track Record of Unfaithfulness

No one likes to talk about this, but it’s crucial.

If your guy has a history of cheating or being unfaithful in his previous relationships, it could be a glaring red flag of commitment issues.

Being committed to someone means being loyal, and if he can’t stick to one person, it indicates he might be afraid to fully commit.

Cheating is often a way for commitment-phobes to escape from the constraints they feel in a relationship.

It’s messy, it’s painful, but it’s a harsh truth we can’t ignore.

8. He’s a Procrastinator at Heart

People who fear commitment often have a habit of procrastinating.


Because commitment involves making a decision, and making a decision means taking a risk.

So, if your man always puts off decisions, whether it’s choosing a restaurant or deciding on a date for a weekend trip, it could be more than just indecisiveness.

It might be his fear of commitment peeking through.

Procrastination in making decisions big and small can be a subtle sign he’s not ready to commit.

9. He’s Not Comfortable Discussing Emotions

I remember once dating a guy who, for the life of him, could not talk about his feelings.

Whether it was how his day went or how he felt about us, he’d clam up or brush it off with a joke.

And boy, let me tell you, it was frustrating.

If your man also stumbles and trips over his words when it comes to expressing his feelings, it might be because he’s scared.

Commitment involves emotional vulnerability, and if he can’t even discuss his emotions, taking the leap of commitment could be a real challenge for him.

10. He Prefers Casual Over Serious

If your guy prefers ‘casual’ and ‘no strings attached’ over a serious, committed relationship, it’s a glaring sign he’s afraid of commitment.

He might enjoy spending time with you, but the moment things start to feel serious or ‘real,’ he backs off.

It’s like he’s in a perpetual state of wanting to have his cake and eat it too. It’s not fair to you, and it’s a clear sign he’s not ready for the commitment you deserve.

11. He Runs Hot and Cold

One minute, he’s all over you, showering you with attention and affection.

The next, he’s colder than an Antarctic breeze.

If his behavior towards you is as unpredictable as the weather, it might be because he fears commitment.

Deep down, he may want to be closer to you, but the fear of commitment makes him pull away, leading to a cycle of hot and cold that can leave you feeling confused and frustrated.

12. He Has Unrealistic Expectations

Finally, one of the biggest signs of a commitment-phobe is unrealistic expectations.

If your man is constantly seeking perfection either in you or in the relationship, it could be because he fears commitment.

He sets these impossible standards as an excuse to not commit because let’s face it – nothing and no one can ever meet these unrealistic expectations.

It’s a defense mechanism that keeps him safe from the ‘dangers’ of commitment.

Remember, it’s important to communicate openly about your concerns and expectations in a relationship. After all, understanding is the first step towards resolution.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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