5 difficult conversations people avoid in relationships (that eventually need to happen)

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Knowing how to communicate effectively in a relationship is one of the best things you can bring to the table. 

By this, you need to know how to open up and be open to receiving information about your partner that might scare you, make you cringe, or be a little difficult to accept. 

We all have feelings, fears, desires, and unhealthy habits. 

Talking about these things can steer you clear of the wrong partner or create an indestructible bond. 

And while it’s true that relationships grow over time, some conversations are important from the get-go.

One of the first topics you need to discuss before you get too serious with someone is…

1) Boundaries

Starting your relationship with a conversation about personal boundaries can’t go wrong. 

The key is being honest.

Don’t beat around the bush trying to impress that new person. 

They need to know exactly what you expect and what you’ll tolerate.

If they leave, it’s not a loss. There’s no point investing energy into someone who isn’t a good match anyway.

Boundaries define what’s okay and what’s not okay in a relationship for you. And, of course, for the other person, too. 

It can feel tricky talking about boundaries, but it’ll help you understand each other’s comfort zones – which is critical for keeping peace and maintaining respect. 

Discussing boundaries isn’t about creating rules to control each other. 

When you both act like the adults you are, boundaries will help create a safe space

And the best part?

Boundaries aren’t a one-size-fits-all kinda thing. 

You get to decide what works for you and what doesn’t. 

Whether your boundaries are about personal space, time spent with other people, privacy, or even how you communicate – having a conversation can help avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the road. 

This is also one of the most important reasons why you need to discuss…

2) Past relationships

I know not everyone agrees with this. Some people prefer to keep their past where it belongs. 

But past relationships are like luggage we all carry around. We can’t just pretend it doesn’t exist. 

It’s there.

And it’s part of what makes us who we are in our current relationships. 

For most people, this can be a difficult conversation to have. And that’s okay.

You don’t have to share every detail with your current partner and shouldn’t expect them to either. 

But if your ex is still invited to family barbecues, your current partner needs to know about the history. 

Likewise, you’d probably want to know if your partner and his first love are still working together. 

Hang on – it doesn’t stop there. 

It’s also important to talk about things that happened in past relationships, personal growth, and even the reason for the breakup. 

Again, the secret is being honest.

The thing is, by sharing this part of your life with your partner, they get to understand you better. It’s also a sign of trust. 

Knowing about your partner’s past relationships can show you what they value, what they have learned, and even what might be sensitive for them. 

Now, remember: 

No grilling sessions here. Just a genuine chat. You don’t need to share or know every tiny detail. 

Just create a safe space, be honest, be a little vulnerable, and be open-minded. 

This conversation can strengthen your bond and create a deeper, more intimate connection. 

And once you reach a level of intimacy you’re both comfortable with, it’s important to chat about…

3) Sex

Talking about sex is highly personal – for most people, anyway. And I get it – looking at current affairs, you might think everyone is promiscuous. 

But the truth is, not many people feel comfortable discussing those deep sexual desires, boundaries, or performance issues. 

Sex and intimacy discussions can feel awkward. You might even fear judgment. But if you’re serious about the relationship, it’s an oh-so-crucial topic. 

When it comes to sex, you need to know what you both enjoy, what makes you comfortable, and what is non-negotiable. 

You’re not a psychic, and neither is your partner. There’s no room for guesswork or mind-reading games when it comes to this. 

Open communication and consent is vital. 

Speak up and ask questions. 

What are your preferences?

What are your fantasies?

What are your limits?

And most importantly, are you both on the same page?

Equally important is the intimacy part. You know, those things you need to connect on a deeper level that elevate your sex life. 

Is it cuddling on the couch?

Late-night wine drinking and foot rubs?

Heart-to-heart talks?

Lunchbox notes?

Whatever you need to feel closer to your partner – discuss it!

These conversations help you learn each other’s desires, boundaries, and what makes you feel loved and valued. 

4) Mental health and addiction issues

This is one of those conversations that often lurks in the shadows of relationships. 

Stigma and concerns about how your partner will react might be one of the main reasons for avoiding it.

But you shouldn’t. 

Even if you mask your mental health issues or addictions in the beginning, they’re bound to make an appearance as your relationship progresses. 

Life throws some unexpected loops – don’t let your partner be shocked when you act in ways they’d never expect. 

Addressing these issues head-on will make your relationship more resilient. 

It also gives your partner a chance to walk out – saving you a lot of future heartache. 

Let’s face it: not everyone wants to be with someone with addictive behaviors or anxiety. 

And while it hurts to be on the receiving end, it’s their right. 

Again, we all have boundaries. And even if it seems harsh, not wanting to be with someone prone to develop depression or turn to substances is okay. 

You have the right to weed out serial gamblers and people who cope with stress in unhealthy ways. 

Alternatively, opening up to your partner about these issues could help them prepare better for when you need support. 

Mental health and addiction issues require empathy, patience, and understanding. 

Letting your partner in will create a powerful bond or save you from being let down when you’re already at your worst. 

5) Jealousy and trust issues

The best thing you can do for your relationship is be upfront if you’re the jealous type or have trust issues due to past experiences. 

It’s a tricky topic, I know. Talking about this involves discussing insecurities and vulnerabilities. 

But these little monsters can rear their heads in even the most solid relationships. And if you don’t handle them appropriately, they wreak havoc. 

Maybe your partner has a close friend of the opposite sex…

Or they spend a lot of time at work…

You could have had past experiences that make you a tad uneasy…

Whatever it is, just know that jealousy happens for various reasons. And it’s normal to some extent. 

Paired with trust issues – not so much. And usually, these go hand-in-hand. 

Both create tiny cracks that break relationships up from the inside. 

But guess what?

Having honest conversations about the why, the triggers, and the solutions can fill those cracks with glue and keep everything together. 

Remember, it’s not about controlling each other. It’s about finding a balance that makes both of you comfortable. 

Start by talking about your past experiences, what makes you trust or mistrust, and how you can work together to build a stronger sense of trust

Every relationship is unique. What works for you might not work for your partner. And what works for my relationships might not work for yours. 

But the thing all solid relationships have in common is effective communication. Being open and honest creates trust and intimacy, leading to an unbreakable bond. 

So, be brave, face these crucial topics, and be patient and understanding. 

In the end, it’s not about avoiding the bumps – it’s about navigating the road. 

Natasha Combrink

Nats is a writer who loves creating content for purposeful brands. She enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and diving down rabbit holes. After rediscovering life, she wants to help others live to their full potential. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

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