10 differences between falling in love and flowing in love

Falling in love is something we all hope to find at some point in our lives. We see it in films, hear it in songs, and read about it in books.

But what if there was another type of love, one which goes deeper than just boy meets girl?

I’m talking about flowing in love. Think more along the lines of soul meets soul. 

This type of love is something which we may not all be familiar with but is the ultimate relationship goal.

Read on to find out more about what flowing in love is, how it’s different from falling in love and what you can do to start your love flow today.

What is flowing in love?

We’re all familiar with what falling in love feels like. Two people get along, form a bond and soon long to be together all the time.

They move from lust to infatuation and then onto love. It’s a wonderful feeling, but falling in love is when you only get a sneak peek at their soul.

Flowing in love is a form of spiritual connection in which two people or more are joined by their heart-to-heart connection, as well as a soul to soul connection.

This incredible bond outperforms falling in love in many ways.

Now that’s not to say that falling in love isn’t magical and worth pursuing, but flowing in love can take that connection to the next level.

Think about your soul, the core of who you are, which transcends the human world and all its flaws and insecurities.

Now imagine your soul meeting another soul and forming a bond so strong, so powerful, that any fears or worries which happen when you normally fall in love simply melt away.

That’s because to flow in love, a lot more soul work is needed. It’s not easy to transition from falling in love to flowing in love overnight because both souls need to be prepared to flow.

And this flow isn’t something that can be forced or faked; it’s a flow that is aligned with the universe, pumping energy into ourselves and nature around us.

That’s what makes flowing in love so much more than just falling in love. It’s the utmost form of connection with another person.

I know, it sounds complicated.

Luckily, there are steps you can take to open yourself to flowing in love, and just by being aware of flowing in love, you’re already one step closer to achieving it.

What’s the difference between flowing in love and falling in love?

I briefly mentioned how falling in love is about getting a glimpse of your partner’s soul, and flowing in love is about the two souls’ connection as well as the heart-to-heart bond.

But what does that mean in everyday terms? Because just like you, I’m not always aware of what my soul is doing or feeling.

I am more aware of my heart though. I know when I fall in love because I feel the usual rush of emotions.

I feel my heartbeat in my chest in those early days of falling in love. I feel the butterflies in my stomach, the nerves that come with delving into the unknown.

It’s exciting.

But flowing in love differs because to be achieved you must first be in touch with your soul.

In the same way in which you look after your physical organs, your soul needs nourishment, love, growth, and care.

It’s a part of your being that can’t be seen or physically felt, yet it has a major impact on your life.

For those who flow in love, it’s important that both souls are whole, that both people have taken part in spiritual growth, filling their soul with more than just worldly pleasures.

This then creates a relationship where both partners are celebrated for who they truly are at their core, their passions are encouraged and their love flows like cosmic energy between them.

It sounds magical, right?

And it is. It’s a connection that needs no explanation, no logical reasoning, or superficial purpose.

Can you imagine being so connected to another human being?

I believe that this type of connection, whilst it may not happen to everyone, can be life-changing.

And those who keep an open mind and work on their spiritual growth have many more chances of finding this type of love, the type of love which many of us dream of but don’t know how to achieve.

10 ways flowing in love differs from falling in love

1. You embark on a spiritual journey together

This is partly true because, in reality, you will have had to have embarked on your spiritual journey first, and then again with your partner.

This spiritual journey that happens together is essentially your soul and their soul flowing, pumping rhythmically in tune with the flow of the universe.

On this journey, petty disturbances and problems which usually arise in a ‘falling in love’ relationship have no room to rear their heads.

Instead, your souls focus on growing together, pushing your limits and energy, flowing harmoniously as one.

2. You have an increase of soul energy

The connection which both of your souls feel acts as a catalyst for energy. Energy starts to flow between you, and although it isn’t a tangible feeling, you know that something bigger than you is happening.

You can feel the flow of life, happiness, creativity, passion, and more transfer between you both, and when you’re together, the possibilities are endless.

There’s no one holding you back, making you doubt your self-worth.

Flowing in love allows you to reach your full potential because your soul is content and secure.

Imagine your biggest supporter. In my case, it’s my mother. When I tell her my fears, she’s a constant, kind reminder that I can achieve whatever I put my mind to.

Holding me back in life doesn’t even cross her mind.

The same happens when you flow in love.

Your partner’s soul encourages your energy flow and does nothing to hinder you in making the most out of your life.

It’s a steady, comforting force that encourages and supports you with pure love and no hidden agendas.

3.You love your partner purely for who they are

The final key difference between flowing and falling in love is that flowing in love means fully accepting and loving your partner for who they are.

Not who you want them to be.

I’ve heard countless friends exclaim, “I thought I loved them, but I was just in love with the idea of them”.

They had fallen in love with the image they had created of their partner, hoping that one day he or she might magically transform into their ideal expectation of a partner.

But when you flow in love, you know your partner’s limitations, you know their vulnerabilities and you love them regardless.

Your souls are so connected that it doesn’t matter if they don’t fit your expectations, they still fulfill you and bring harmony and positive energy to your life.

And while we’re on the subject of expectations, I’d like to share with you a fantastic free video on Love and Intimacy, by world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.

You see, Rudá is a modern-day shaman who believes in long-term progress, rather than ineffective quick fixes. That’s why he focuses on overcoming negative perceptions and unrealistic expectations – the root causes of dysfunctional relationships.

He helped me learn how to love my partner for who he is, not the idea I had built up of him. Once I learned to quieten down all the unhealthy expectations I had, our relationship improved dramatically.

But I wouldn’t have been able to identify these issues without Rudá’s help, and in case the same limiting beliefs are holding you back too, I’d highly recommend checking out his video.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4. There’s a balance within the relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a clear, fair balance?

In most cases, one partner grumbles that they take on more than the other, and we generally accept that there’s always a need for some give and take (even if one ends up doing more giving than taking).

But, in a flow relationship, it’s much more equal.

The balance is shared, both giving and taking equally and without demanding more than is needed from their partner.

This equilibrium creates a strong force, and even playing field and removes any resentment that one partner is being stretched more than the other.

By removing this imbalance, it means that the couple can focus on their growth individually and together, instead of being weighed down by petty (and not so petty) grievances.

5. Flowing in love is more permanent

When you fall in love, you’ve seen a part of your partner which excites you, intrigues you, and makes you want to stick around to find out more.

They comfort you, bring you support and happiness and you enjoy their company.

But we all know how quickly love can fade.

And especially in today’s age, where many people flit from relationship to relationship, falling in love but rarely putting in the hard work to sustain that love.

The key difference here between the two terms is that flowing in love is much more permanent because your souls and hearts have connected.

It’s now bigger than you and your partner.

It’s no longer a case of keeping the excitement or spark going because your souls have connected in a way that doesn’t need worldly help.

Quite simply, your souls have recognized each other, embraced each other, and embarked on a path together.

This powerful connection makes the bond much more permanent and grounded, with less chance of the connection being broken over superficial reasons like an argument or loss of interest.

6. Both partners need to be committed

To flow in love, both partners need to have decided to spiritually embark on this journey.

It won’t work if one partner is less invested than the other.

But when you fall in love, it can be the case that one person has stronger feelings than their partner does, or one invests more time than the other.

It’s also a case of both partners needing to work on their soul journey, before and during their love flow.

If one decides to stop, the flow of love between the hearts and souls will lose balance, falling out of the steady rhythm which keeps that enjoyable, smooth equilibrium.

Although even the best relationships are tricky, even a love-flow relationship requires effort and hard work. 

If both don’t commit to their spiritual journey, it can have damaging effects on the relationship.

7. You need to be at one with yourself before flowing in love

I’ve mentioned embracing the spiritual journey a few times now, and although journeying the path together is crucial, a little preparation beforehand is needed.

That means working on your soul’s energy before you’ve even met your partner.

Taking time to nourish and feed the soul, aligning it with your place in the world, and being clear on your relationship with your soul is all needed before even entering a relationship.

That’s because both souls need to be whole before they can connect.

Here’s an example:

If partner A has invested a lot of time into listening to their soul, understanding it, and growing in ways that uplift and strengthen the soul, they have embarked on their soul journey.

If their partner, partner B, hasn’t spent much time working on their soul, they’ll lack what’s needed to flow in love.

No matter how much partner A tries, their soul simply won’t find that connection with partner B.

They might get a glimpse of each other’s souls, but that means they’ll fall in love, not flow in love.

8. It can happen between families and communities

One wonderful difference between falling in love and flowing in love is that the latter can happen even within families and whole communities.

This is because flowing in love transcends things like sexual desire or emotions like jealousy or possessiveness.

It’s simply the act of hearts and souls connecting, whether it be between a mother and daughter or two neighbors.

The energy which flows between them is positive, encouraging, and constant.

It’s something that Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod, mentions in his video about the flow state.

When groups of people get into the flow state, they’re able to bounce off each other’s energy, flow creatively and work as individuals but collectively.

They don’t need to be the same, they might even work in different ways, but together they share one goal and one purpose.

This supportive environment paves the way for each member to thrive, individually and together.

We’ll delve a little deeper into the flow state towards the end of this article because it’s a concept that is commonly misunderstood but can have powerful, life-changing effects when done properly.

9. Flowing in love pushes our boundaries

Our relationships push our boundaries at the best of times. I know that from each relationship I’ve been in, my limits have been tested (and quite often so has my patience).

But for good or for worse, I’ve come out stronger and more understanding of what my heart needs.

Flowing in love also does this but to more of an extreme than just falling in love.

Your souls’ spiritual journey together forces you to confront fears, insecurities and other doubts you’ve held onto for so long.

The love flow pushes your boundaries until you surrender and accept that together, your combined energy can take you much further than if you were alone.

Essentially, you’re stronger together.

Now this means putting aside things like ego or stubbornness, which tell us we can do things without the help of someone else.

I can’t tell you the number of times I refused to ask my partner for help with opening the lid of a jar. It might sound silly, but I was too proud to admit that I couldn’t do it.

Eventually, though, the time came where I needed his help. With one twist he had opened the jar, and we both laughed because it turned out he had also been trying to open the same jar earlier that day but had failed.

We concluded that between his attempts and my attempts, we’d eventually loosened it enough for it to just pop open.

Whilst this might not seem like a big deal in the scheme of life, it was a clear example of how two are stronger than one.

Our combined efforts are what opened the jar, so just imagine what we could achieve if we combined our souls and spiritual energies?

10. There’s a lack of fear

Falling in love means that whilst you have recognized or seen a part of your partner’s soul, you haven’t fully connected with them in a way that removes all doubt and fear.

Sometimes, when I doubt my partner, I feel fear in my heart about our relationship.

This is because what’s happening in my brain is linked to my heart, and one can’t function without the other.

But when you have a soul connection, your soul can overcome these fears and doubts because it’s much more than a physical feeling which can be influenced by worldly troubles – it’s spiritual.

Without the usual fears and doubts which come when you fall in love, you and your partner are free to pursue life.

Between you and your desires stands fear.

However it’s dressed, it’s fear and doubt which hold us back from reaching our full potential.

So remove the fear, and you’re left with the world at your feet.

As a couple, this means growing together, expanding your souls’ energy, and flowing in a way that falls into a steady rhythm with the rest of the universe.

How to flow in love

So now we’ve covered the main differences, you’re probably wondering how to flow in love.

Alongside embarking on your spiritual journey as I mentioned earlier, there are some ways in which you can open yourself up to the possibility of finding someone to flow in love with, but the key lies with you.

It’s not always an easy journey, but it’s one that is truly worth it.

Here’s how:

1. Start to understand your inner-energy

For your energy to flow between you and your partner, you first need to build a relationship with it.

Tuning into your energy levels and working out what helps with the flow of your energy and what blocks it is a great way to start.

Here are some tips:

  • Take time to stop and reflect on your energy throughout the day
  • Pay attention when your energy flow suddenly increases or decreases
  • Work out what causes these changes, and do more of what increases your energy flow
  • Focus on love, creativity, and joy to put you more in touch with your positive energy

Once you have started building this relationship, you’ll find it much easier to understand how your energy works and how it can be combined with another soul’s energy.

2. Keep your heart open

Throughout the entire process of starting your spiritual journey and flowing in love, you need to keep your heart as open as possible.

Whether you feel scared or nervous, your heart is going through a transformation and this is normal.

Listen to your heart, feel the way it beats and how it longs for some things, and rejects others.

Keeping it open throughout the good and bad allows energy to pass through it, connecting your heart and your soul.

3. Accept pain as part of the process

As Rumi famously once said, “the wound is the place where the light gets in”.

Your pain opens you to new possibilities, forces change, and creates strength. Don’t run away from your pain, instead accept that it will always be there but it’s a part of who you are.

Your pain doesn’t have to hold you back, instead, it can be the very thing that brings in growth, new opportunities, and even happiness.

And as you’re walking a path of uncertainty while you connect with your soul, past wounds will reopen and you will be forced to address them.

The sooner you do this and become at peace with your pain, the quicker you can begin your journey of flowing in love.

4. Trust in yourself and reject fear

Fear happens to all of us, but you have to get to a level where you’re so confident in your heart and soul, that fear doesn’t hold you back.

Acknowledge when you’re feeling fear, understand what has caused it and then work your way through it.

Fear essentially keeps us alive, without it we’d throw ourselves into many dangerous situations without giving a thought to the consequences.

But some fears simply hold us back from achieving all that we are or all that we can be, so learn to recognize the difference between healthy, innate fear and irrational, man-made fear which stems from our worldly influences.

5. Do things that heal your soul

Your soul needs time and attention. It needs to be cared for and looked after.

If you have never paid attention to your soul before, now is a good time to start checking in and building that relationship with your soul.

Here are some ideas of how to connect with your soul:

  • Meditation or prayer
  • Journaling
  • Pay attention to subtle feelings which may be unexplainable but are linked to your soul’s energy
  • Question yourself and be patient while you search for answers within your soul

6. Don’t force the process

Remember, this is a process that comes with time, perseverance, and effort. It’s not something which you can achieve overnight.

Flowing in love means embarking on many journeys – into your soul, your heart, and your inner fears and desires.

It takes time to truly know yourself and understand how your heart and soul flow within you, and what that means for the path you journey on in life.

7. Keep an open mind at all times

Alongside keeping an open heart, you should also keep an open mind.

There’ll be times where the pain, the uncertainty and the doubt will also feel too much, but keeping your mind open and maintaining focus can help you overcome these obstacles.

Our minds are brilliant at solving problems and pushing through challenges, so trust in it and know that you’re on this journey for a reason.

Is the flow state similar to flowing in love?

Going back to the video I mentioned earlier, the flow state differs slightly from flowing in love but can be applied in some ways.

It’s a process in which you can creatively engage in a task, drawing upon years of expertise and knowledge, and do it to the best of your ability.

Where it does cross paths with flowing in love is when two people or more use that energy flow to build, grow, and progress in life and their spiritual journey.

It’s an exciting way to approach using the flow to achieve great things in life, whether in your work or relationship.

To find out more, watch Justin Brown’s explanation of the flow state below:


Whether you’re on the journey to flowing in love, or you’re hearing about it for the first time, this way of connecting with your partner or other beings around you is a powerful process.

It’s one that can take time to reach, but during the journey, you’ll gain a much better understanding of yourself and what your flow and soul’s purpose are in life.

And hey, the hard work is greatly rewarded; you may find a partner whose flow matches yours and who you can expand and grow within ways that run deeper than just falling in love.

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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