Deeply selfish people often say these 10 things in conversation without realizing it

Some people are selfish, and they don’t even realize it.

The way they talk gives them away. They say things that put themselves first, dismiss others, or make everything about them—often without meaning to.

Selfishness isn’t always obvious. It can show up in small, everyday conversations. And if you know what to listen for, you’ll start noticing the patterns.

Here are 10 things deeply selfish people often say without realizing it.

1) I deserve…

Selfish people love to talk about what they *deserve*.

They believe they’re entitled to special treatment, extra rewards, or recognition—often without considering whether they’ve actually earned it.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with knowing your worth. But when someone constantly talks about what they “deserve” without acknowledging the effort of others, it’s a sign of deep selfishness.

They rarely stop to think about whether others also deserve something. It’s all about *them*.

2) That’s not my problem

I once had a coworker who said this all the time.

Whenever someone needed help or something went wrong, his immediate response was, *”That’s not my problem.”* It didn’t matter if it was a simple favor or a team issue that affected everyone—if it didn’t directly benefit him, he wanted nothing to do with it.

At first, I thought he was just setting boundaries. But over time, I realized he wasn’t protecting his energy—he just didn’t care about anyone but himself.

Deeply selfish people avoid responsibility and refuse to help unless there’s something in it for them. They see everything as *someone else’s* problem, never their own.

3) I don’t have time for this

Selfish people often act as if their time is more valuable than anyone else’s.

They use *”I don’t have time for this”* as a way to dismiss others, shut down conversations, or avoid responsibilities they don’t want to deal with. It’s not that they’re actually too busy—it’s that they don’t think something is *worth* their time.

Studies have shown that people who feel a constant sense of entitlement are more likely to overestimate their own importance while undervaluing the needs of others. This makes them more impatient, less empathetic, and quick to brush people off.

Everyone’s time is valuable, but selfish people act like theirs is the only time that matters.

4) You’re too sensitive

Selfish people rarely take responsibility for how their words or actions affect others.

Instead of admitting they’ve hurt someone, they flip it around and make it *your* fault for reacting. Saying *”You’re too sensitive”* is their way of dismissing feelings they don’t want to deal with.

This kind of response shuts down any chance of real communication. It tells the other person that their emotions don’t matter, that they’re overreacting, and that the selfish person has no intention of changing their behavior.

In reality, it’s not about sensitivity—it’s about respect. And deeply selfish people struggle to give that to others.

5) I’m just being honest

Honesty is important, but selfish people use it as an excuse to say whatever they want—no matter how hurtful or unnecessary.

When someone says *”I’m just being honest,”* what they usually mean is *”I don’t care how my words affect you.”* It’s a way to justify rudeness while avoiding accountability.

Genuine honesty is about truth with *consideration*. But selfish people aren’t interested in that. They use “honesty” as a shield to say cruel things without guilt.

6) You owe me

Selfish people see relationships as transactions.

When they do something for you, it’s rarely out of kindness—it’s because they expect something in return. And when the time comes, they won’t hesitate to remind you: *”You owe me.”*

But real connections aren’t built on keeping score. True generosity doesn’t come with strings attached. The moment someone starts treating kindness like a debt, it stops being kindness at all.

No one *owes* anyone basic decency, support, or love. But deeply selfish people struggle to understand that.

7) If you really cared, you would…

Love should never be a test.

Hearing “If you really cared, you would…” is like being backed into a corner. It’s not a request—it’s emotional pressure. A way to make someone feel guilty for not doing exactly what the other person wants.

But love isn’t about proving yourself over and over again. It’s about trust, understanding, and mutual respect. When someone constantly makes you feel like your care is conditional—measured only by what you do for them—it’s exhausting.

No one should have to prove their worth just to be valued.

8) I never asked for this

Selfish people love to take—but only on their terms.

When someone does something kind for them, instead of showing gratitude, they shrug it off with *”I never asked for this.”* It’s a way to avoid feeling obligated to return the kindness or acknowledge the effort someone put in.

The strange thing is, they have no problem accepting help, favors, or generosity. They just don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. By acting like they never wanted it in the first place, they free themselves from any expectation of giving back.

But kindness isn’t about transactions—it’s about appreciation. And selfish people often miss that completely.

9) That’s just how I am

Selfish people resist change—even when their actions hurt others.

Instead of listening to feedback or trying to grow, they shut down conversations with *”That’s just how I am.”* It’s a way of saying, *”I won’t take responsibility, and I won’t make an effort.”*

But growth is a choice. No one is born perfect, and we all have flaws. The difference is that selfish people see their flaws as fixed—they expect others to accept them *as is*, while refusing to do the same in return.

It’s not about changing for others—it’s about respecting the people around you enough to try.

10) I don’t need anyone

Selfish people act like they’re completely independent, as if needing others is a weakness.

But the truth is, no one exists in a vacuum. We all rely on each other in ways big and small. Relationships—whether friendships, family, or love—are built on mutual care and support.

Saying *”I don’t need anyone”* isn’t strength. It’s a way to avoid responsibility, push people away, and excuse selfish behavior.

The people who truly don’t need anyone? They don’t have to say it.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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