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17 clear signs you’re dating a mature man

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So much of what makes a relationship happy and healthy boils down to the maturity levels of both partners.

And as a woman, finding a “mature man” these days isn’t so easy; the lines between a truly mature man and an immature man just pretending to be mature are so blurred.

So how do you tell the difference between a mature man and someone who’s just faking it till he makes it?

Here are 17 clear signs that your man is mature and ready for a long-term relationship:

1) He Knows How To Make Decisions

A mature man isn’t afraid of making choices.

He’s been around the block long enough to know that some decisions just need to be made quickly, and no amount of back-and-forth can help that decision-making process.

This is a man who takes charge when he needs to, and can help you and your future family together get through any obstacle.

2) He Includes You In Everything

There’s never really an “I” or a “me” to this man when it comes to things that should involve his romantic partner.

He knows how to think of himself as a man in a relationship rather than as someone single or someone just dating.

This means he isn’t playing around; he sees you in his life and wants you to know that, so he includes you in everything that you can be a part of.

3) He Knows the Push-and-Pull of Compromising

No relationship is perfect, and the sooner you and your partner understand that the sooner you can begin properly navigating the arguments and disagreements.

When you date a mature man, you date someone who understands all this, and the push-and-pull that comes with compromising with your significant other.

He doesn’t yell “my way” all the time; he wants to be on the same page with you, every time.

4) He Has Strong Bonds With Friends and Family

A mature man is a man who knows how to develop strong bonds and relationships, not just with you, but also the other people important in his life.

So if he has close ties with his family and some friends, then that means he’s a keeper; he knows how to be pleasant and how to express love to the people who matter to him.

He doesn’t let the hiccups get in the way.

5) He Never Plays Any Mind Games

No mature man enjoys the mind games of youthful dating, so you never really have to wonder where you are with him.

He won’t leave you out in the cold emotionally, so if he’s ever upset with you for whatever reason, he’ll let you know when the moment is right.

No tests, no challenges, no artificial difficulties. He’s passed all that.

All he wants is the real and genuine you, and that’s all he’s going to give to you in return.

6) He Knows How To Share His Feelings

Men get a bad rap for being emotionally stunted, not knowing how to share and express their feelings.

But the truth is, this is only true with some men; emotionally mature men don’t have so much difficulty with emotional transparency.

Your man won’t hide what he really feels, and that’s a grade-A sign that he’s emotionally mature.

If something is bothering him, he’ll explain calmly his point of view, giving you the chance to truly understand him.

7) He’s Emotionally Self-Aware

He understands what’s wrong with him.

No one is perfect, and dating a mature man means dating a man who is well aware of his issues — his insecurities, his triggers, his fears.

And that means he works on improving those things every day, every chance he gets.

Does this mean that he’s the perfect partner with no flaws? Of course not.

It simply means that he’s aware of those flaws, and while they might still come out from time to time, you can rest assured knowing that he sees them just as much as you do, and he wants to work on them.

8) He Understands the Importance of Boundaries on Both Sides

A mature man won’t force things if they shouldn’t be forced.

He knows how to respect boundaries in a relationship because he knows that only by respecting your boundaries can he ask you to respect his.

You’ll never have to worry about him snooping, going over the line, talking to people behind your back; he knows what it means to be a good partner you can love and respect.

9) He Doesn’t Take You For Granted

Some men might find themselves in a great relationship and then start slacking on their boyfriend duties.

Maybe they’ll stop planning great dates, or even stop showing you little gestures of love and appreciation.

A mature man doesn’t let those things fall by the wayside.

He knows how important it is to keep the spark in a relationship going, which is why he’ll never take you for granted.

He’ll keep treating you just as lovingly on day 1000 as he did on day 1.

10) He Treats You As an Equal

A mature man will never make you feel lesser than him. He doesn’t have the old notions that men are superior to women in any way.

In fact, not only does he treat you as an equal, he also supports you in every single thing that you do.

He wants you to be the best version of yourself you can be because he knows the accomplishments of his partner are also somewhat his own accomplishments.

A mature man won’t be jealous of his partner outshining him; he’ll have nothing but pride for her.

11) He Has a Drive For Life

Mature men aren’t sitting around all day just waiting for life to pass them by.

They don’t obsess over the relationship and their partner, with nothing else going on in their life.

They understand that they only have so much time in their life to spend, which is why they truly go out and try to achieve their hopes and dreams.

He has a drive for life that inspires you and motivates you because you want to keep up with him every step of the way.

12) He Knows How To Hold Himself Accountable

One of the toughest things for an immature person to do is to hold themselves accountable. Immature people don’t like feeling responsible for things; they don’t want to bear the weight and burden of guilt or responsibility.

But a mature man wears accountability like a suit of armor.

They know that their words and actions will always have consequences, and they’re more than ready to accept the consequences of what they do.

13) He Can Talk About the Difficult Things

Some conversations will always be difficult to have, but mature men don’t let that difficulty scare them away.

They say what needs to be said; they understand that sometimes, the only way out is straight through, so they know when it’s time to ask their partner to sit down and have the emotionally-exhausting conversations that need to be said for the benefit of the relationship.

14) You Can See a Dad In Him

Even if you haven’t talked to him about marriage and having kids, you can’t help yourself: every single time he impresses you or makes you laugh, you can’t help but see just how amazing of a dad he’s going to be one day.

And you know in your heart that you’re hoping that his kids will also be yours.

When you see your future kids with him, you know you’re dating someone mature.

15) He Can Admit When He’s Wrong

With a great sense of accountability also comes a great sense of humility.

A mature man won’t let his ego get in the way of simple apologies.

He will never prioritize protecting his own ego over the health of his relationship because he knows how to look within himself and admit when he’s done something wrong.

16) He Hangs With Mature People

Here’s one secret you have to remember — no matter how mature you may think your man is, if he’s hanging out with immature people, he can’t really be that mature himself.

A truly mature individual won’t be able to stand immature friends; they’ll just be so far removed from him mentally that he won’t be able to stop asking himself why he’s with them at all.

A real mature man hangs out with equally mature people.

He wants to be in social groups that improve his character, and he can only find that by being with other people who exhibit similar characteristics.

17) He Takes Care of Himself

It’s so easy to be a slob in some areas of your life, especially when you’re excelling in other areas.

For example, a guy who is doing amazingly in his career might start letting himself go physically because he can’t find the time anymore to exercise and eat properly.

But a truly mature man understands the balance. He takes care of himself — physically, mentally, and more.

He respects himself and his body too much to let anything start to slide.

This might make him a bit tightly wound at times, so it’s up to you to help remind him how to loosen up from time to time.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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