10 things you need to know about dating a non affectionate person

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Being ignored is annoying and tiring.

What are you supposed to do in return?

Here’s a foolproof way to make the person ignoring you feel like a complete idiot, and even potentially start changing their mind about you.

10 things you need to know about dating a non-affectionate person

1) Even a little affection is a big deal for them

One of the most important things you need to know about dating a non affectionate person is that even a small gesture of affection is a big deal for them.

A pat on the back, a stroke of your cheek or a short kiss is more than a little.

For them it means they like you a lot!

You might be used to dating people who show you huge amounts of passionate attention and affection.

But non-affectionate people just don’t do that.

So when they do show affection, treasure it.

As Jen Mac writes:

“That one night of snuggling will have to last you several weeks until your next movie date night.

“This partner only has so many ‘movie date night snuggles’ in them and they just reached their quota for the month.”

2) Don’t expect to talk about your feelings a lot

One of the other crucial things you need to know about dating a non affectionate person is that they aren’t very big fans of talking about feelings.

It’s not only that they tend towards the shy side.

They also tend towards not enjoying discussing how they feel.

Think about popular reality shows like the Bachelor:

The characters always talk about their feelings and assess where they’re “at” in the ongoing dating.

Frankly, I find it exhausting myself, which is why I don’t watch stupid reality shows anymore.

But the point is that this minute-by-minute emotional temperature checking is a thing that some people feel the need for.

A non-affectionate person does not.

Asking them to say how they feel too often or unloading on them too often can lead to a breakup.

3) You’re with them for a reason

Relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next. 

I know that I was always skeptical about getting outside help, until I actually tried it out. 

Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like dating a non-affectionate person

Personally, I tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions. 

My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

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4) Sexual chemistry can take some time to build up

There isn’t always a relation between a partner’s level of affection and the quality of your physical intimacy.

But sometimes there is.

And it’s important to know that sometimes a non-affectionate person will move a little more slowly in the bedroom.

They may want to wait longer before sleeping together, and once you do they may also leave you wondering if they even liked it.

The thing about a non-affectionate person is they can be very hard read.

If you’re a person who tends to need a lot of validation this can be very hard on your self-esteem and ego.

Give the sexual chemistry time to warm up and have faith.

5) Forget about PDAs

When it comes to public displays of affection (PDAs), you can forget all about it.

Those on the more shy side of the spectrum are not fans of showing affection in public.

This usually extends to things like even holding hands or hugging.

They’re just not into it.

Granted, this can be hard to adjust to if you’re a fairly touchy-feely person.

But I’m willing to bet there are some behaviors of yours that they also find hard to adapt to.

So it’s a two-way street.

6) Your body language can make a huge difference

When it comes to key things you need to know about dating a non-affectionate person, it’s very important to understand how to attract them and keep their interest.

As I mentioned, non-affectionate people can be very hard to read.

One of the important things you have to master is your body language.

If you’re pursuing or dating a woman who’s not very affectionate, you need to know that your body language is on point in order to be confident.

That’s because women – including those who don’t express much affection outwardly – are highly tuned into the signals a man’s body is giving off…

They get an “overall impression” of a guy’s attractiveness and think of him as either “hot” or “not” based on these body language signals.

7) Empower yourself

Many of us create sky-high expectations around love.

We hope to meet someone who will “complete” us and bring us the happiness and feeling of a deep relationship we’ve always craved.

Then we keep having near misses, or thinking we’ve found “the one” only to have it all come crashing down again and again.

The problem is that so many of us are eaten up by a deep sense of not being good enough.

We cross our fingers and hope we’ll just “get lucky” and meet the right person one day.

But it doesn’t happen that way…

So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?

The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.

You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.

He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.

Because true empowerment needs to come from within.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.

So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

8) Less is more

As I wrote earlier, a little bit of affection means a lot when it’s coming from a non-affectionate person.

This applies in the other direction as well.

When you’re showing affection toward them, try not to paste it on too thick.

And learn to read their actions at a deeper level.

Sometimes those “small things” they do for you are actually a big deal.

As Charles Crawford observes:

“When our relationship first started, I thought that my partner was so unaffectionate that he couldn’t show any sweetness.

“But his sweetness was really with his words and other gestures, like making me a cup of coffee when I’m pulling an all-nighter”

9) They’re still picking up what you’re throwing down

One thing to realize about non-affectionate people is that they’re masters at deadpan.

They often make some of our best poker players or hostage negotiators.

That’s because they don’t show strong outward emotion even when they’re going crazy with desire or another strong emotion inside.

They know how to play it quiet and cool.

But they feel just as much physical attraction as the rest of us do when we see someone who’s pushing all our buttons.

10) Give them space to open up

You can’t expect a non-affectionate person to meet all your norms of what you’ve experienced in past dating.

They’re going to be different and come at your relationship from a different angle.

This is part of getting to know them and love them for who they are.

At the same time, there are situations where a non-affectionate person will slowly grow in their emotional and intimate behavior toward you.

The key is to let them know you really appreciate when they show you love and care.

And to let them know they’re fully free to do so again, but also under no obligation.

“Express your feelings and concerns to them, and try not to criticize them. Be understanding and compassionate with them, and make sure you are affectionate too.

“That is the only way to get more affection from your partner,” notes Onwe Damian.

From friend zone to fun zone

I’ll tell you a story that’s a bit embarrassing to admit.

I used to be the king of the friendzone.

And I don’t say that proudly.

Now, don’t get me wrong:

Having female friends is great as a straight guy, and I value those friendships.

But it isn’t just that I used to have a lot of female friends, it’s that every girl I wanted to date only saw me as a friend.

If I tried to show romantic interest or affection they’d pull back and remind me that we were “just friends” and laugh in an embarrassed way.


I felt so rejected and powerless. Like I was missing some “key” that was keeping all these doors locked to me.

Then I began making changes, focusing on my own goals and self-sufficiency.

I also started to really understand what it means when somebody is non-affectionate and the best way to approach that.

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