Dating a married woman isn’t easy.
You can’t express your love for her openly and show her off to your family and friends like you normally would, and she can’t fully give you her all whilst she’s still married.
And as your relationship grows deeper, you might start wondering whether she’ll ever leave her husband for you, whether she truly loves you or she just loves the thrill of the affair.
The truth is, women do leave their husbands. Especially if they’ve met someone who gives them all the love, attention, and care that they crave (and aren’t getting at home).
So if you want to know if it’s worth sticking around or leaving before your heart gets broken, check out the top signs she will leave her husband for you below.
Why do married women have affairs?
The sad truth is, most women, like men, don’t enter marriage intending to ever cheat on their spouse.
They mean their vows and most try to stick to them.
But as time goes on, if they find themselves unsatisfied or unhappy in their marriage, they might start looking elsewhere for pleasure or love.
Essentially, if her husband isn’t meeting her emotional, sexual, and psychological needs, she’s not going to feel fulfilled or happy, no matter how much she loves him.
And that’s where you come in.
Whether you pursued her, she chased you or you both fell into love without even realizing it before it was too late, you’re offering her something that her husband isn’t.
Although society looks down on extra-marital affairs, people are having them left, right and center.
And yes, you may be viewed as a villain, a home-wrecker, or a wife-stealer, and yes maybe you should have waited for her to get a divorce first, but let’s be honest, love has a way of taking over when we least expect it.
So regardless of whether you’re doing the right thing or not, you’re in this situation now and you’re probably wondering what the hell you’re going to do.
Stick around and wait for her to leave him if she ever will?
Carry on having your affair in secret and hoping no-one will ever find out?
The chances are, you’re rooting for her to leave him otherwise you wouldn’t be sat reading up on it online.
And so without further ado, let’s jump into the top signs she will leave her husband for you and then we’ll look at whether it’s worth waiting for her or not:
10 signs she will leave her husband for you
1) She cares more for you than for him
Okay, here’s the deal:
At the beginning of your affair, she probably still felt a lot of guilt and worry for her husband.
She crossed the line with you, and although she’s enjoying it, naturally she worries about her husband’s feelings and what would happen if he found out.
But now things are different.
Now, she cares more about you than him.
Instead of defending his feelings and worrying about hurting him, she’s more concerned about whether you’re happy or not.
Once she starts making this clear, it’s an obvious sign that the love she once had for him has diminished, and you’re her priority now.
2) She doesn’t wear her wedding ring anymore
A wedding ring is a massive, blaring sign of commitment. It’s right there on the hand for everyone to see that this person is married.
So when someone takes it off, especially a woman, it’s another big indicator that she’s done with her marriage.
She’s not only made this decision quietly to herself, but she’s letting the whole world know that she’s no longer part of this commitment, this marriage she signed up for.
So what does that mean for you?
Well, she’s certainly being honest and open that her marriage is failing.
And where you’re concerned, it hints that she is one step closer to leaving her husband for you, especially now that she’s not as committed to him as she once was.
3) She starts to make plans for the future with you
When you fall in love under normal circumstances where you’re both single, you can revel in each other’s company and dream of having a future together.
You’ll make plans for traveling, kids, moving in together, but dating a married woman makes these dreams a lot harder to imagine.
That all changes once she decides to leave her husband for you.
If you notice her talking optimistically about the future together and she’s keen to start making plans, there’s a big indication she’s ready to end her marriage.
And, if she has children, she might casually mention how nice it’d be for you to meet them one day.
Any talk of a future with you in it is an obvious sign that she wants to build a life with you, and her mind is made up about it.
4) She talks openly about getting a divorce
If she’s upfront about getting divorced from her husband, it’s a good sign for you. At least she’s not completely terrified of even mentioning it, let alone doing it.
But, there’s a downside here.
Many people caught up in extra-marital affairs claim they’ll leave their husband/wife and never do.
Even if they’re extremely unhappy with their spouse, something stops them from leaving.
So this could go either way and although in some cases she will go ahead with it, there are many possibilities she won’t.
Ultimately, it will have to be a judgment call from you – combined with every other sign she’s given you, does it seem like you have a chance?
The fact is, even if she wants to leave him for you, many factors could stop her (kids, finances, reputation, etc) so her actions will speak louder than words.
5) She’s got a plan to make it happen
This is when things get interesting.
She mentions divorce, she makes plans for the future, but now she’s a woman on a mission to make it happen.
An ultimate sign that shows she’s serious about leaving him for you is when she starts to put her plans into action.
She might talk to you about her finances or what it’ll take to go through with the divorce.
She’ll mention where she wants to live after the split or how she plans to share custody of the kids and who’ll pick them up from school each day.
The truth is:
Many men and women will string along their love affair and say anything to keep you around, even the promise of divorce.
But as we mentioned previously, actions speak louder than words, and if she’s planning her escape route, you’re in with a chance.
6) She doesn’t try to hide your relationship anymore
Usually, people involved in an affair don’t go around shouting it from the rooftops or posting pictures on social media (that goes without saying).
But, if she’s feeling emboldened and ready to move on from her husband, she might start relaxing when you’re out in public.
Instead of sneaking around, you’ll start going out more.
Eating in restaurants, going shopping in her neighborhood, walking together in the park, the pleasures you were once denied now seem normal.
And although it might be reassuring for you as it shows she’s closer to leaving her husband for you, it’s also a risky game to play.
Not only will friends and family potentially learn about your relationship, but she runs the risk of her husband catching you in the act.
Now that would be a catastrophe (and one that you probably want to avoid).
But if she’s not bothered anymore, then she doesn’t care about what her husband feels since she’s planning to leave him anyway.
7) She has told people about you
If your affair with a married woman is completely secret, another powerful sign that she’s ready to leave her husband for you will be if she starts to mention you to other people.
It doesn’t have to be her entire neighborhood, even just telling her best friend is a big deal.
Because there’s a lot of shame and stigma attached to cheating on your husband, it’s something even close family and friends will struggle to understand and support.
So if she feels brave enough to tell someone about it, it shows she’s taking it seriously.
Whether she goes to them for advice or because she’s bursting with love and happiness and just has to share it, it’s clear that you’re more than just a fling to her.
8) She doesn’t feel as much guilt as before
Guilt is a funny thing, it can come in waves or can feel like you’re drowning in it.
Well, at least that’s what it’ll feel like for her depending on the type of marriage she has.
But for the most part, there’s no doubt she’ll have felt guilt at the beginning.
Even if she doesn’t love her husband anymore and the marriage broke down a long time ago, there might be guilt for breaking her vows, for how her family will feel, and so on.
But a sign she will leave her husband for you is when her guilt starts to subside.
Maybe she’s rationalized that she’s entitled to have an affair and find happiness outside of her marriage, or she’s simply stopped caring about what other people will think.
Either way, the less guilty she feels, the more confident she’ll be about finally divorcing him.
9) If she has to choose, she’ll choose you
It’s the typical scenario we see in films – the married man or woman suddenly has to choose between their spouse and the person they’re sneaking around with.
Her husband breaks his arm and is waiting for her at the hospital, but your car has broken down in the middle of nowhere…who is she going to go to first?
If you’ve ever been in this situation, and she’s chosen you over him, you can be sure that she’s fully invested in you now.
She’s not even pretending anymore.
Her husband isn’t stupid either, and the more this happens the chances of him finding out will increase.
But, if she’s already decided that she will leave her husband for you, she’s naturally going to start pouring her love, care, and dedication into you rather than him.
And given the choice between you, she’s making a clear statement by choosing you over him.
10) She starts finding more and more reasons not to go home
One night turns into two and two nights turn into a week.
She has to get creative with her excuses just to spend a few more hours with you, after all, how many business trips can she honestly go on?
But the bottom line is, she’s ready to leave him for good.
And you’ve created the perfect place for her to escape to. Ultimately, if she’s spending more time with you than with him, it’s clear their marriage has taken a back seat.
In many affairs, the “other guy” will be lucky if he can steal an hour or two of her time a week, as she’ll be keeping up pretenses with her husband.
She’ll go home to him straight from work, or spend the weekends with him and the kids.
She’ll eat every night with her family and sleep next to him just to avoid arousing suspicion.
But when she’s done and wants out, keeping up this act will become less and less important to her.
You’ll notice that she starts to stay over more often, the excuses to him become lamer, and more of her stuff starts popping up around your house.
If this is the case, she’s putting her plan of action to leave him into full force.
So, should you stick around and wait?
Here’s the thing – yes, all these signs look very promising and in some cases, they’re all you need to reassure you that she’ll leave him.
But you’ll never know until she actually does it.
You see, even with the best intentions in the world, leaving your husband for another man is an extremely tough decision to make.
Not only does she face being looked down upon by friends and family, but she’s also carrying the weight of breaking up her marriage in a pretty brutal, hurtful way.
So, it’s not an easy step to take, but if your relationship is truly important to her, she’ll find a way to do it.
Whether you want to stick around and wait for her to leave her husband for you, or you’re not convinced and the signs just aren’t there, is your call to make.
You’ll have to judge it on how she is with you and whether there are enough indications that she’ll leave him.
The bottom line
It’d be a lie to say that having affairs is something to be encouraged, but the reality is they do happen a lot more than we realize.
And even though most people don’t intend to hurt their spouses, inevitably if they’re not happy but don’t have what it takes to leave, they’ll seek happiness elsewhere.
So as optimistic as you may be for your future together, know that it’s probably not going to be an easy, smooth ride into the sunset.
People will get hurt, on her side and potentially on yours too if you’re married as well and you’ve found yourself in love with someone else.
On the other hand, if none of these signs have appeared then there’s a good chance she’s just stringing you along.
Maybe she’s afraid to divorce him, or she’s actually content at home and just wanted an office affair for a little fun to break up the monotony of work.
Either way, if you want her to leave him but she’s showing no indication of doing so, there’s very little you can do to convince her.
Ultimately, she has to feel ready to do it and she needs to know that this relationship is worth doing it for.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.