Eliza Hartley
Growing older brings wisdom, but it also wisens us to the reality that not all people we meet should have a spot in our inner circle.
The secret is in quality over quantity. It’s not about having the most friends, but about having the right ones.
As we age, we realize that it’s critical to surround ourselves with people who add value to our life.
People who stimulate our minds, fill our hearts with joy and encourage us on our journey towards self-improvement and mindful living.
However, the big question is: Who are these people?
In this article, I’m going to introduce you to the seven types of people you should make room for in your life as you get older.
Trust me, it’ll make all the difference.
1) The uplifting optimist
As we get older, it’s all too easy to slip into negativity or cynicism.
What we need is someone who can bring a ray of sunshine into our lives, regardless of the weather.
Enter the uplifting optimist.
This is the person who always sees the glass as half full, who finds a silver lining in every cloud, and who believes that every problem is just a challenge waiting to be conquered.
Their positivity isn’t about ignoring reality, but about choosing to focus on the good and the potential in every situation.
They inspire us to do the same.
Having an uplifting optimist in your inner circle can help you maintain a positive outlook on life, keep your spirits high, and motivate you towards achieving your goals.
Their optimism isn’t blind naivety—it’s a conscious choice to stay positive. And that’s something we could all use more of as we age.
2) The brutally honest friend
Now, let me tell you about my friend, Sarah. We’ve known each other since high school, and she’s always been the one to say it like it is.
When I was considering a career change in my 40s, I was full of doubts and uncertainties.
I remember sharing my fears with Sarah over a cup of coffee.
She looked at me, her eyes not wavering, and said, “You’re scared. And that’s okay. But don’t let your fear stop you from doing something that could make you happier.”
It was a tough pill to swallow, but it was the push I needed.
Sarah was right. I was letting fear control my decisions.
That’s the beauty of having a brutally honest friend in your inner circle. They tell you things others might shy away from saying.
They push you out of your comfort zone and challenge you to be better.
They are the wake-up call we all need sometimes, and having one in your life as you get older is invaluable.
They help keep us grounded and remind us of our potential when we start to doubt ourselves.
3) The mindful mentor
We often get caught up in the whirlwind of life, forgetting to pause and live in the moment. That’s where the mindful mentor comes into play.
This is the person who reminds you to take a step back, to breathe, and to be present.
They have a deep understanding of mindfulness and its benefits on our mental and physical health, especially as we age.
In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“, I delve into the transformative power of mindfulness.
It’s not just about stress reduction, but also about enhancing our ability to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
Having a mindful mentor in your inner circle can guide you on this journey.
They can help you navigate through the challenges of staying present in a world that constantly pulls our attention to the past or future.
Being around them can teach you valuable mindfulness techniques and provide you with practical ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine.
As we age, having this grounding presence in our lives becomes increasingly important.
They help us slow down, enjoy the now and ultimately lead a more fulfilling life.
4) The resilient warrior
In life, we all go through tough times. A few years back, I found myself navigating through one of the most challenging periods of my life.
It was during this time that I realized the immense importance of having a resilient warrior in my inner circle.
This is the person who has faced adversity and emerged stronger.
They understand that life isn’t always a smooth sail, but it’s about how well we weather the storm.
They inspire you with their stories of fortitude and tenacity.
Their strength doesn’t come from an absence of fear or pain, but from their determination to rise above it.
They have fought battles, faced losses and yet, they continue to move forward.
Having a resilient warrior in your life is a constant reminder that no matter how hard life gets, we have the strength within us to overcome.
They inspire us to face our challenges head-on and to never lose sight of our inner strength.
As we grow older, their resilience can inspire us to face our own battles with courage and conviction, reminding us that it’s never too late to be the hero of our own story.
5) The constructive critic
This one might surprise you. Why would anyone want a critic in their inner circle, especially as they get older?
Well, not just any critic. You need a constructive critic.
This is the person who isn’t afraid to point out your flaws – not to bring you down, but to help you grow.
They are the ones who challenge your ideas, push you to think differently and encourage you to improve.
As we get older, it’s easy to fall into a routine and be set in our ways. But growth and learning should never stop, regardless of our age.
Having a constructive critic in your life can help keep your mind sharp, push you towards self-improvement and prevent you from becoming complacent.
It might not always be comfortable, but it’s an essential part of personal growth.
And as we age, continuing to grow and learn is vital for staying engaged and fulfilled in life.
6) The compassionate listener
In our fast-paced world, true listening has become a lost art.
But as we get older, having someone who genuinely listens to us becomes more important than ever.
The compassionate listener in your inner circle is a treasure.
They are the ones who give you their undivided attention, who understand your feelings without judgment, and who make you feel heard and valued.
They’re not just waiting for their turn to speak.
They’re there with you in the moment, offering comfort, understanding, and sometimes, much-needed silence.
As we get older, life can throw us curveballs that leave us feeling overwhelmed or confused.
During these times, the compassionate listener provides a safe space for us to express our feelings and thoughts.
Their presence reminds us that we’re not alone and that our feelings matter.
This connection can be incredibly comforting and healing as we navigate the ups and downs of growing older.
7) The selfless giver
At the heart of it all, the most important person you need in your inner circle as you get older is the selfless giver.
This is the person who gives without expecting anything in return.
They are there for you, not because they want something from you, but because they genuinely care about your wellbeing.
Their acts of kindness can be as simple as a comforting word during a tough time, a helping hand when you’re overwhelmed, or just their presence when you need someone by your side.
The selfless giver reminds us of the power of kindness and compassion.
They inspire us to open our hearts and give back to others.
Their selflessness is a testament to the beauty of human connection and a reminder of what truly matters in life.
Final reflections: The power of choice
As we journey through life, we realize the profound impact of our choices.
The most significant of these choices is perhaps the people we choose to include in our inner circle.
These individuals shape our perspectives, influence our decisions, and contribute to our sense of self.
They affect how we grow older, how we view the world, and ultimately, how we experience life.
Choosing to surround yourself with the right people isn’t always easy.
It requires introspection, understanding, and a commitment to personal growth.
It’s a critical part of the journey towards mindful living, a concept I explore in detail in my book,”The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“.
As you get older, your inner circle becomes a reflection of who you are and who you aspire to be.
Choose wisely. Embrace those who uplift you, challenge you, and inspire you.
In the end, it’s not just about growing old but growing old with grace, wisdom, and a sense of fulfillment.
And that can be significantly influenced by the company you keep.
