7 types of friends who never deserve a second chance, says a psychologist

Friendships can be our greatest sources of joy, but they can also cause immense pain.

Understanding this is part of the journey towards self-improvement—it’s about setting boundaries and prioritizing your mental wellbeing.

It might sound harsh, but there are just some friends who are more harmful than helpful—and it’s about time we recognize them.

In this piece, I’ll share the seven types of friends who, according to a psychologist’s observations, never deserve a second chance.

While it’s important to sustain relationships, it’s equally crucial to know when to let go:

1) The energy vampire

We’ve all encountered them at some point—the friends who suck the life out of you.

Energy vampires are individuals who constantly drain your emotional energy.

They’re often needy, demanding, and can be excessively negative.

These are the friends who leave you feeling exhausted after every interaction.

In psychology, we stress the importance of surrounding ourselves with positive influences.

It’s tied to the concept of emotional contagion—the idea that we can ‘catch’ the emotions of those around us.

While it’s crucial to support friends in need, there’s a line between being supportive and being drained.

Remember, self-care is also about protecting your mental energy from those who deplete it.

2) The perpetual one-upper

This is the friend who always has to be better, do more, and generally outshine everyone around them.

Let me share a personal example: I had a friend who was a chronic one-upper.

Whenever I’d excitedly share a new accomplishment or experience, they would immediately counter with their own, more impressive story.

Once, I shared that I’d finished a challenging 10k run over the weekend.

Instead of being supportive or congratulatory, this friend quickly chimed in about their recent marathon experience.

It was as if my achievement was insignificant compared to theirs.

Over time, this behavior began to wear on me.

I started to feel that my successes were always overshadowed and my experiences undervalued.

The constant one-upmanship isn’t healthy in a friendship.

It breeds resentment and undermines the bond of mutual respect and admiration that should exist between friends.

While it’s fantastic to have ambitious friends who push you to be better, it’s equally important that those friends celebrate your accomplishments without turning it into a competition.

3) The fair-weather friend

Fair-weather friends are only around when things are going well—but the moment a storm hits, they’re nowhere to be found.

People tend to distance themselves from others when they are experiencing difficulties.

This can be particularly hurtful when you’re going through a tough time and need support.

True friends should be there for you in good times and bad, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear when things get tough.

It’s essential for our emotional well-being to have a support system that we can rely on, rain or shine.

4) The constant critic

Constructive criticism from a friend can be helpful, but there’s a big difference between offering helpful advice and constantly picking at someone’s flaws.

The constant critic is the friend who seems to derive pleasure from pointing out your mistakes, imperfections, and shortcomings.

They rarely miss an opportunity to critique your choices, actions, or appearance.

This behavior can severely impact your self-esteem and overall mental well-being.

No one deserves to be constantly criticized, especially by someone who is supposed to be a friend.

5) The promise breaker

Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship and when that trust is repeatedly violated, it can be devastating.

There was a time when I had a friend who found it hard to keep their promises.

They would make commitments and break them without a second thought.

It was little things at first, like forgetting to return a borrowed book or being late for our meet-ups.

However, over time, the pattern continued with bigger promises.

They’d vow to support me at important events but would fail to show up; they would promise to keep secrets but would blurt them out in social gatherings.

This constant letdown made me question their respect for me and our friendship.

Trust, once broken, is incredibly challenging to rebuild.

6) The self-centered friend

Friendship is a two-way street, requiring give and take from both sides—but what happens when one friend is only interested in taking?

The self-centered friend is always about ‘me, me, me.’

They dominate conversations with their issues, often ignoring or dismissing your thoughts or feelings.

Their needs and wants always seem to take priority over yours.

This dynamic can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant—a healthy friendship should involve mutual care and concern for each other’s well-being.

It’s important to remember that we deserves friends who genuinely care about us and our happiness, not just their own.

7) The toxic friend

Perhaps the most damaging type of friend is the toxic one.

These are the friends who spread negativity, manipulate you, and create drama.

They belittle your achievements, gaslight you, and consistently make you feel awful about yourself.

No friendship is worth sacrificing your mental health and well-being.

Recognizing and cutting ties with a toxic friend can be incredibly challenging, but it’s sometimes necessary for one’s emotional health.

Final thoughts: Friendships should be a safe haven

The beauty of friendships lies in their ability to offer comfort, companionship, and joy.

They should be a source of support and encouragement, not stress or discomfort.

Remember, it’s okay to let go of friendships that don’t serve you—it’s not about holding grudges or dwelling on negativity.

Instead, it’s about recognizing what you deserve and setting boundaries for your own mental well-being.

It’s a journey towards self-love and growth; it’s about understanding that you deserve friends who love and respect you just as much as you do them.

Reflect on your friendships: Are they lifting you up or pulling you down?

Remember, you have the power to choose who gets to be part of your life story—choose wisely.

James Carter

James Carter doesn’t believe in quick fixes—real growth takes patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to challenge your own thinking. His writing dives into mindfulness, relationships, and psychology, exploring what it really means to live with intention. Instead of overcomplicating things, he focuses on insights that actually help people navigate life with more clarity and balance. His perspective is shaped by both Eastern philosophy and modern psychology, bridging timeless wisdom with everyday challenges.

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