7 things you must do to protect yourself when a narcissist is in your life

We’ve all heard the saying, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

But what if that enemy disguises themselves as a friend, or even a loved one?

I’m talking about narcissists.

Narcissists can be charming, charismatic and incredibly persuasive. They can also be emotionally draining, perpetually disappointing and sometimes downright harmful.

And if you’ve ever had one in your life, you know just how tough it can be to navigate those choppy waters.

It’s not always easy to spot a narcissist or know how to deal with them.

That’s why I’ve put together this little guide: “7 Things You Must Do To Protect Yourself When A Narcissist Is In Your Life.”

These are tried and true methods to shield yourself from the emotional turmoil that narcissists can stir up. It’s about setting boundaries, standing your ground and preserving your mental health.

It’s about self-love and self-protection, two things that are absolutely essential when dealing with a narcissist.

So if you’re ready, let’s dive in.

1) Understand what you’re dealing with

First things first.

You need to understand what you’re dealing with.

Now, I’m not suggesting you need to become an expert in psychology, but having a basic understanding of what narcissism is can be incredibly helpful.

Narcissists are individuals with a inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.

They have troubled relationships and lack empathy for others.

Recognizing these traits in someone can help you understand their behavior better and can provide a context for their actions.

Knowledge is power. The more you understand about narcissism, the better equipped you’ll be to protect yourself.

2) Set clear boundaries

This one is a game-changer.

Setting boundaries was an absolute game-changer for me. I had a friend who, I later realized, was a narcissist.

She had this knack for making everything about her and would often manipulate situations to her advantage.

I found myself constantly drained after spending time with her, always bending over backward to meet her demands and feeling guilty if I didn’t.

Then, I learned about setting boundaries.

I decided to clearly communicate what was acceptable and what wasn’t in our friendship. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

And guess what? It worked.

When she realized she could no longer manipulate me the way she used to, the relationship began to change.

Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable initially, but trust me, it’s crucial when dealing with a narcissist.

3) Practice self-care

Here’s something I wish someone had told me earlier.

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting. They can drain your energy, leaving you feeling depleted and low.

I remember days when I’d feel so drained, I’d barely have the energy to get out of bed. Those were tough times.

That’s when I realized the importance of self-care.

Now, self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (although those are nice too).

It’s about taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s about ensuring you’re eating right, exercising, sleeping well, and taking time to relax and rejuvenate.

It’s about saying ‘no’ when you need to and prioritizing your own needs.

It might seem selfish at first, but remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t have the strength to deal with a narcissist effectively.

Take that walk. Read that book. Have that bubble bath.

Take care of yourself. You’re worth it.

4) Don’t take it personally

This one is easier said than done, I know.

But here’s the thing.

Narcissists have a way of making you feel like you’re the problem. They’re experts at deflecting blame and making others feel guilty.

They might say hurtful things, belittle you, or even outright ignore you. And it can be easy to start believing that there’s something wrong with you.

But remember this – their behavior is a reflection of them, not you.

You are not the problem. You are not responsible for their happiness or their actions.

It’s tough, I know. But try not to take their words or actions personally. It’s not about you, it’s about them and their own insecurities and issues.

The next time they say something hurtful, remind yourself – it’s not about me, it’s about them.

5) Seek support

We humans are social creatures.

Did you know that our brains are actually wired to connect with others? It’s true. Connection is a fundamental human need.

When dealing with a narcissist, having a strong support network can be invaluable.

You need people who understand your situation, who can provide perspective, and who can offer emotional support.

Whether it’s friends, family, or professional help like a counsellor or therapist, don’t hesitate to seek support.

You don’t have to deal with this alone. Reach out, share your thoughts and experiences.

There’s strength in numbers, and there’s definitely strength in supportive relationships.

It’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone.

6) Forgive yourself

This might sound strange, but hear me out.

It’s easy to beat yourself up when dealing with a narcissist.

You might blame yourself for not seeing the signs earlier or for letting them get under your skin.

But here’s what I want you to know.

It’s okay.

It’s okay that you didn’t see it earlier. It’s okay that you let them in. It’s okay that you’re still figuring things out.

Narcissists are masters of manipulation. They know how to play on your emotions and make themselves seem indispensable.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for getting caught in their web.

Rvery experience is a lesson. And you are growing, learning, and becoming stronger with each passing day.

So be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough.

7) Walk away if you need to

Here’s the most important thing.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away.

If a relationship with a narcissist is causing you harm, if it’s affecting your mental health, if it’s making you question your self-worth, then it might be time to step back.

Walking away doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

It means you’re putting your well-being first. It means you’re choosing yourself.

And there’s nothing more powerful than that.

Final reflections

Living with a narcissist can be challenging, but remember – you are not alone.

Recognize that dealing with a narcissist is not about changing them, but about protecting yourself.

It’s about understanding, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, seeking support, and walking away if necessary.

It’s okay to choose yourself. Your mental and emotional health are important. You matter.

As you navigate life with a narcissist, be patient with yourself.

Celebrate the small victories – each moment of self-care, every boundary set, every step taken towards protecting your well-being.

You’re doing the best you can. And remember – you’re not alone in this journey.

And in the end, perhaps the most crucial lesson is this: You are more resilient and stronger than you think.