7 things people do when they’re overly eager to be liked, according to psychology

For most of my life, I cared way too much about what other people thought of me.

I wanted to be liked. I wanted to fit in. And I would do just about anything to make sure I didn’t upset or disappoint anyone.

But here’s the thing—when you’re overly eager to be liked, you don’t end up happy. You just end up exhausted.

Through my journey into psychology and mindfulness, I started noticing certain behaviors that people (myself included) fall into when they crave approval a little too much. And the worst part? Most of the time, they don’t even realize they’re doing it.

In this article, I’ll go over 7 common things people do when they’re desperate to be liked—according to psychology. If you see yourself in any of these, don’t worry. Awareness is the first step to change.

Let’s dive in.

1) They agree with everything

One of the biggest signs that someone is overly eager to be liked is that they agree with everyone—about everything.

It doesn’t matter if they actually believe what’s being said. If they think agreeing will make them more likable, they’ll nod along without hesitation.

I used to do this all the time. I’d laugh at jokes I didn’t find funny, pretend to like things I had no real interest in, and avoid sharing my true opinions out of fear that someone might disagree with me.

But here’s what I’ve learned—people don’t respect pushovers. Constantly agreeing with others doesn’t make you more likable; it just makes you seem inauthentic.

2) They apologize too much

For a long time, I said “sorry” way more than I needed to.

I’d apologize when someone bumped into me. I’d say sorry for asking a simple question, for taking up space, for things that weren’t even remotely my fault.

At first, I thought I was just being polite. But really, I was trying to make myself seem more likable by avoiding any possibility of upsetting someone.

Constantly saying sorry doesn’t make people respect you more. If anything, it makes you seem unsure of yourself.

One day, a friend called me out on it. “You don’t have to apologize for everything,” she said. That hit me hard, and I started paying attention to how often I said it.

If you do this too, try an experiment: the next time you catch yourself about to say sorry for something small or unnecessary, stop. Ask yourself—do I really need to apologize? If not, replace it with “thank you” instead.

3) They laugh even when it’s not funny

I used to laugh at everything. Even if a joke wasn’t funny, even if I didn’t understand it, even if I actually found it offensive—I’d still force a chuckle.

Why? Because I wanted people to like me.

I thought laughing along would make me seem more agreeable, more fun to be around. But over time, I started to notice something: I wasn’t actually enjoying these interactions. I was just performing—trying to fit in rather than being myself.

One moment really stuck with me. I was with a group of friends, and someone made a joke at my expense. It wasn’t playful—it was actually pretty mean. But instead of calling it out or just staying silent, I laughed along with everyone else.

Later that night, I felt awful. Why did I laugh at something that hurt me? Because deep down, I thought disagreeing or looking uncomfortable would make people like me less.

If you do this too, try paying attention to your reactions in conversations. Are you laughing because you genuinely find something funny—or just because you feel like you should?

It’s okay not to laugh. It’s okay to let silence sit when something doesn’t land with you. The right people will respect your authenticity way more than a forced reaction.

4) They pretend to like things they don’t

For years, I convinced myself that I liked certain things just because the people around me did.

I pretended to enjoy music I didn’t care for, watched TV shows I had no real interest in, and even acted like I was a huge fan of certain hobbies—just to fit in.

At first, I thought this was harmless. But over time, I realized that constantly molding myself to other people’s preferences was exhausting. Worse, it made me lose sight of what I actually liked.

And I’m not alone in this. According to research, people who are highly motivated to be liked often change their preferences and opinions based on social pressure—sometimes without even realizing it.

If you’ve ever caught yourself doing this, take a step back and ask: “Do I actually like this, or am I just trying to fit in?” The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it becomes to stop chasing approval and start embracing what truly makes you happy.

5) They avoid saying no

For the longest time, I was a people pleaser.

If someone asked me for a favor—even if I was exhausted, overwhelmed, or just didn’t want to do it—I’d say yes. Every. Single. Time.

I thought saying no would make people upset or disappointed in me. I worried that if I turned someone down, they’d like me less. So instead, I stretched myself thin, taking on things I didn’t have the time or energy for.

But here’s what I learned: constantly saying yes doesn’t make people respect you more—it just makes them expect more from you.

I remember one particular weekend when a coworker asked me to help him move apartments. I had been looking forward to finally relaxing after an exhausting week, but instead of being honest, I forced a smile and said, “Of course!”

By Sunday night, I was drained, frustrated, and honestly a little resentful. Not at him—but at myself for not setting a boundary.

If this sounds familiar, try practicing small ways of saying no. You don’t have to be rude—just firm. Something as simple as “I’d love to help, but I can’t this time” is enough.

The truth is, the right people won’t stop liking you just because you set boundaries. And the ones who do? Well… they probably didn’t value you for the right reasons in the first place.

6) They change their personality depending on who they’re with

For years, I was a social chameleon.

With one group of friends, I’d be the easygoing, carefree guy. With another, I’d act more serious and intellectual. Around certain people, I’d exaggerate parts of my personality to fit in better—even if it didn’t feel natural.

At the time, I thought this was just me being adaptable. But in reality, I was so eager to be liked that I wasn’t being myself—I was just mirroring what I thought others wanted me to be.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly.” And that hit me hard. Because the truth is, constantly shifting who you are to gain approval isn’t connection—it’s performance.

I remember one moment that made me realize how bad this habit had become. A friend invited me to hang out with two different groups—one that knew me as the “fun outgoing guy” and another that saw me as “the deep thinker.”

For the first time, I felt trapped. Which version of myself was I supposed to be? The fact that I even had to think about it proved that I wasn’t being authentic in either group.

If you relate to this, try paying attention to how you act around different people. Do you feel like you, or do you feel like you’re playing a role?

The people who truly care about you don’t need a filtered version of you—they just need you.

7) They try too hard to be nice

This one might sound strange—after all, isn’t being nice a good thing?

Of course it is. But when you’re overly eager to be liked, you don’t just act nice—you force it. You go out of your way to be overly accommodating, excessively agreeable, and always cheerful—even when you don’t feel that way inside.

I used to be that person. I smiled constantly, laughed at everything, and made sure never to disagree or express discomfort. I thought being extra nice would make people like me more.

But here’s the irony: trying too hard to be nice can actually backfire. Studies show that people can sense inauthenticity, and when kindness feels forced or excessive, it can come across as insincere or even manipulative.

The truth is, real connections aren’t built on relentless positivity—they’re built on honesty and balance. It’s okay to disagree. It’s okay to not always be in a great mood. And it’s definitely okay to set boundaries instead of always putting others first.

If you struggle with this, try something simple: the next time you feel the urge to overextend yourself just to seem nice, pause for a moment. Ask yourself—”Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or because I think it will make someone like me?”

Real likability comes from being genuine, not from bending over backward to please everyone.

Conclusion: focus on being real, not being liked

At the end of the day, trying too hard to be liked often does the opposite—it makes you lose yourself in the process.

The truth is, you don’t need everyone to like you. You just need the right people—the ones who appreciate you for who you truly are, not for who you think they want you to be.

So here’s a simple challenge: for the next week, pay attention to when you’re seeking approval. Are you agreeing just to fit in? Saying sorry when you don’t need to? Hiding your real opinions?

Each time you catch yourself, take a deep breath and choose authenticity instead. Because the more real you are, the more deeply you’ll connect with the people who truly matter.