Eliza Hartley
I used to think I had life all figured out. After all, I’ve lived through decades of change, challenges, and lessons learned the hard way.
But then my Gen Z grandkids came along—and they’ve shown me a whole new way of seeing the world.
Through them, I’ve learned that compassion isn’t just about being kind.
It’s about listening without judgment, standing up for what’s right, and embracing perspectives that are different from my own.
They’ve helped me unlearn old habits, question my assumptions, and open my heart in ways I never expected.
Here are eight powerful lessons they’ve taught me about being a more compassionate person.
1) Listening is just as important as speaking
I used to think that wisdom came from sharing what I knew. But my Gen Z grandkids have shown me that sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen.
They’ve grown up in a world filled with diverse voices, and they value open conversations where everyone has a chance to be heard.
They’ve taught me that listening isn’t just about waiting for my turn to speak—it’s about truly understanding where someone is coming from.
When I pause and listen without interrupting or trying to fix things, I show compassion in a way that words alone can’t. It makes people feel seen, valued, and respected.
And in the end, isn’t that what we all want?
2) Small actions can make a big difference
One afternoon, I was out running errands with my granddaughter when she suddenly stopped to compliment a stranger’s outfit.
It was such a small thing, but the way the woman’s face lit up stuck with me.
Later, I asked my granddaughter why she did it, and she simply shrugged and said, “You never know how much someone might need a little kindness.”
That moment made me realize how easy it is to brighten someone’s day—whether it’s a kind word, a small gesture, or just holding the door open for someone.
Compassion doesn’t have to be grand or complicated. Sometimes, the smallest actions can mean the most.
Now, I try to follow her example. A smile, a thank you, or a moment of patience can go a long way in making the world feel just a little bit kinder.
3) Empathy can be learned
A lot of people think that empathy is something you either have or you don’t—but that’s not true. It’s actually a skill that can be developed with practice.
My Gen Z grandkids have grown up in an era where conversations about mental health, inclusivity, and social justice are more open than ever.
They actively seek out different perspectives, listen to people’s experiences, and challenge themselves to understand struggles they may never personally face.
The more we expose ourselves to different viewpoints, the more naturally empathy comes.
It’s not about pretending to know exactly how someone feels—it’s about being willing to step outside of our own experiences and truly see things from another person’s perspective.
4) Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect
For a long time, I believed that being compassionate meant always saying yes—helping whenever I could, even at my own expense. But my Gen Z grandkids see things differently.
They understand that setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
They’re not afraid to say no when something drains their energy or crosses a personal limit. And they do it without guilt.
What I’ve learned from them is that compassion isn’t just about how we treat others—it’s also about how we treat ourselves.
When we respect our own limits, we show up for others in a healthier, more genuine way.
5) Kindness should never be conditional
It’s easy to be kind when it’s reciprocated. But real compassion isn’t about keeping score—it’s about choosing kindness even when there’s nothing in return.
My Gen Z grandkids remind me of this all the time. They believe in treating people with respect, not because they expect something back, but because it’s simply the right thing to do.
The world can be harsh, and people don’t always act the way we wish they would. But kindness, when given freely, has a way of softening even the hardest edges.
And sometimes, the moments when kindness is least deserved are the moments when it’s needed the most.
6) Unlearning is just as important as learning
For most of my life, I thought I had a solid understanding of right and wrong, of how people should behave, of what was considered normal.
But as the years have passed, I’ve realized that some of the things I once believed weren’t as fair or as true as I thought.
My Gen Z grandkids have gently challenged me on certain ideas—about gender, mental health, even the way we talk about emotions.
At first, it wasn’t always easy to hear. But over time, I’ve come to see that real growth isn’t just about gaining new knowledge—it’s also about being willing to let go of outdated beliefs.
It takes humility to admit that we don’t have all the answers.
But there’s something freeing about allowing ourselves to evolve, to replace judgment with understanding, and to make room for perspectives we never considered before.
7) apologizing doesn’t make you weak
There was a time when I thought that apologizing too much made a person look weak—like admitting fault would somehow lessen my authority or respect.
But my Gen Z grandkids see things differently, and they’ve shown me just how powerful a sincere apology can be.
They don’t hesitate to own up to their mistakes, big or small.
And when they apologize, they do it fully—without excuses, without justifications, just a simple acknowledgment of what went wrong and how they can do better.
I’ve learned that saying “I’m sorry” isn’t about losing face. It’s about accountability, about valuing relationships over pride.
And more often than not, a heartfelt apology has the power to heal wounds in a way that silence never could.
8) Love is shown through actions, not just words
It’s easy to say we care about others, but real compassion is something we demonstrate in the way we show up for people—consistently, patiently, and without expectation.
My Gen Z grandkids don’t just talk about kindness; they live it.
They check in on their friends when they’re struggling, they stand up for what they believe in, and they make space for others to be heard.
I’ve come to understand that love isn’t just about the big moments—it’s in the small, everyday choices.
A thoughtful text, a listening ear, a simple act of generosity. These are the things that truly make a difference.
Bottom line: Compassion is a choice we make every day
Compassion isn’t just a trait—it’s an ongoing practice, a series of small decisions we make in how we treat others and ourselves.
Psychologists have found that practicing compassion can actually rewire our brains, strengthening neural pathways linked to empathy and emotional regulation.
In other words, the more we choose kindness, the more natural it becomes.
My Gen Z grandkids have helped me see that compassion isn’t passive. It requires listening, learning, unlearning, and sometimes stepping outside of what feels comfortable.
It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
And in the end, the way we choose to show up for others—through our actions, our words, and our willingness to grow—is what truly defines the kind of person we are.
