8 things a narcissist will do to make you feel like less of a person

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can feel like a never-ending game of chess. Their actions and behavior can often leave you feeling diminished and undervalued.

However, understanding the tactics a narcissist uses to undermine others can be a powerful tool in reclaiming your self-worth.

In this article, we’ll be shedding light on eight specific maneuvers a narcissist employs to make you feel less of a person, all while maintaining an air of charm and charisma.

From subtle belittling to outright intimidation, we’ll help you recognize these tactics so you can better handle them in your interactions.

After all, clarity is the first step towards empowerment. Let’s dive in.

1) The master of manipulation

Narcissists are notorious for their uncanny ability to control and manipulate situations to their advantage.

Their crafty tactics often revolve around playing mind games. They’ll twist words, distort truths, and even resort to gaslighting – making you question your own sanity.

This psychological manipulation is a calculated move, designed to undermine your self-confidence and make you feel less of a person. You’ll find yourself constantly second-guessing your decisions, doubting your worth, and even questioning your reality.

The key here is awareness. Recognizing these tactics for what they are can help you reclaim control of your thoughts and feelings. Remember, you’re not the problem; their manipulation is.

2) The art of belittlement

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was excitedly sharing my achievement at work, feeling proud and validated. But instead of sharing my joy, the narcissist in my life responded with a dismissive, “Oh, that’s nice. But did you hear about what I did today?”

This is a classic narcissist tactic – belittlement. They’ll downplay your achievements and make their own seem more important or impressive. It’s a way to steal your thunder and make you feel like less of a person.

In hindsight, I realize that their need to diminish my accomplishments was not a reflection of my worth, but rather their own insecurities. It’s crucial to remember that their belittlement says more about them than it does about you.

3) The silent treatment

Narcissists are known to use the silent treatment as a form of punishment. If you’ve said or done something they don’t like, they’ll withdraw, ignore you, and give you the cold shoulder.

This can last for hours, days, or even weeks. It’s their way of making you feel insignificant and unimportant. And it’s surprisingly effective.

According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, individuals who received the silent treatment reported feeling significantly more distressed, less valued, and had lower self-esteem.

Being aware of this tactic can help you recognize it for what it is – a manipulative tool used to exert control and dominance.

4) The blame shift

Narcissists are masters of shifting blame. When something goes wrong, they’re quick to point the finger at everyone but themselves.

Whether it’s a minor inconvenience or a major issue, they’ll find a way to make it your fault. This can lead you to feel guilty and inadequate, even when you’re not responsible.

Their goal? To avoid taking responsibility and maintain their image of perfection. Understanding this tactic can help you realize that you’re not always at fault, as they want you to believe.

5) The emotional roller coaster

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can sometimes feel like you’re on a never-ending emotional roller coaster. One moment, they’re showering you with love and affection, the next, they’re cold and distant.

This constant shift between warmth and indifference can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and emotionally drained. It’s like living in a state of perpetual uncertainty, never knowing which version of them you’ll encounter.

This emotional turmoil is not your fault. Remember, everyone deserves consistency, respect, and emotional stability in their relationships. It’s okay to step off the roller coaster and seek out healthier connections.

6) The lack of empathy

I still recall the moment I realized the narcissist in my life lacked empathy. I’d just lost a loved one and was in deep grief. Instead of offering comfort, they seemed annoyed by my sadness, telling me to “just get over it”.

This lack of empathy is a classic trait of narcissism. They struggle to understand or share the feelings of others, often dismissing your emotions as irrelevant or inconvenient.

Realizing this can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when you care deeply for this person. But remember, your feelings are valid and deserve to be recognized and respected.

7) The need for admiration

A narcissist thrives on admiration and validation. They have a deep-seated need to be seen as superior and will often go to great lengths to maintain this image.

They’ll brag about their achievements, exaggerate their abilities, and constantly seek compliments. If you fail to provide the admiration they crave, they may resort to belittling or criticizing you to elevate themselves.

Being aware of this need can help you understand why they behave the way they do. Remember, their constant need for validation isn’t a reflection of your worth but their own insecurities.

8) The control obsession

Above all, a narcissist craves control. They want to dictate your behavior, your thoughts, even your feelings. They’ll use manipulation, guilt, and fear to keep you under their thumb.

This control obsession is their way of shielding themselves from vulnerability and maintaining their inflated self-image.

Recognizing this can be a game-changer. It empowers you to start reclaiming your autonomy, setting boundaries, and asserting your right to be respected and valued just as you are.

Final thoughts: It’s not about you

Navigating the landscape of a relationship with a narcissist can often feel like traversing a minefield. The tactics and maneuvers they employ are designed to undermine your self-worth and manipulate your perception of reality.

But here’s the most crucial thing to remember – it’s not about you. It’s about them. Their actions, comments, and behavior are a reflection of their own insecurities, not a measure of your worth.

According to renowned psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, “Narcissism isn’t about love, but fear.” It’s a fear of vulnerability, a fear of not being perceived as perfect.

So, as you move forward, remember to protect your mental and emotional well-being. Set boundaries, seek support, and most importantly, know that you have value beyond what a narcissist may lead you to believe.

After all, you are more than the reflection in their distorted mirror.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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